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I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive this 4 year trip. No amount of novelty shirts can even begin to repair my mental health that this very confusing, bossy and sometimes a little charismatic alien has just absolutely ruined. I can't even kick him out, he's literally letting me live with him for the rest of my life. He's like a shitty landlord that lives in your house for the first 4 years but after that lets you stay rent free in his till you die. He may be my best friend (and only friend) but that doesn't mean I can't be fed up with him from time to time. Luckily for me he has developed a new favourite activity of asking me a question every 10 minutes
Every Single day.
Rocky's become so curious about earth, at this point I will throw myself into the void just to escape the never ending cycle of non stop inquiries. I can't even talk out loud without him interjecting with 100 million reasons on why he's right! This could be classified as psychological torture if he didnt “help” save earth, honestly I should just-
“Does Grace have ♫𝀉🎜♭𝀬 on earth, question?” I can hear his giant hamster wheel clunking towards my bed, stopping just short of my face. It's honestly impressive being able to stare through someone's soul without having eyeballs.
“Rocky I thought we talked about this, right now there is no question time which means?....” My hands instinctively rub my temples trying to relive the headache I can just sense approaching.
“Means that Grace gets 20 earth minutes of no Rocky time” His body thuds up the accessible stairs that lead directly above my bed for optimal watching time, I obviously did not think it through when he suggested this idea. Trust me if time machines existed I would go back and never make this stupid bed contraption.
“Thanks bud, do you have to watch me right now though? I'm not sleeping just… you know contemplating my existence”
“Rocky doesn't know, maybe Grace would feel better if talked like he answered Rocky's question.”
Now it's starting to feel less like a question and more like a demand. I am slightly intrigued about this new word he's so eager about exploring but what's better: my sanity or his knowledge? Clearly It's my sanity. I turn my body around trying to physically show how disinterested I am. For a genius alien engineer you really would think he would pick up on context clues.
“Why Grace ignore Rocky's question, question?”
They must not have literally any patience or privacy concerns on Erid. He really reminds me of this one kid in my class I vaguely remember teaching, he was always really blunt and tried to correct what I was saying before I even finished! Maybe I hate when people are like controlling? Huh, I learn something new everyday.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Oh god no. I hate it when he starts tapping, it's like my own personal nightmare. His hands (can I even call them that?) slamming into the glass physically vibrates my already unstable bed. His will power really knows no bounds, I swear I'm going to put 300 locks on every room in my house when we get to Erid. Actually I wonder if they have houses on Erid or if I will sleep in a cocoon-like thing. It will probably be something weird like that, I mean look at his ship! Even with all the spite inside me screaming, the tapping on the glass is 100 million times more psychotic so against common sense I have to answer his VERY stupid question.
“Fine, repeat it all again.” My absolutely exhausted voice rings throughout my apparently messy space station.
“Does Grace have ♫𝀉🎜♭𝀬 on earth, question?” His robotic tone of voice somehow portrays a sense of annoyance which is confusing from a technical stand point but honestly I am way too exhausted to think about that right now.
“You can't just expect me to know what that means based on the tingly vibes and funky hands Rocky, maybe we do like charades or the checklist” The checklist is prolly the smartest thing I've ever made, it's like word charades but with categories. It was my alternative to his worst invention “the puppet show”. The checklist goes like this: I start by asking a question like “is it a concept, object or person?” and we narrow it down until I can either tell him what the English word is or I learn a new Erid thing.
“Puppet show, checklist is dumb and doesn't work” His body crawls down from his bed to get ready to display his new found ideas to me.
“Nope we are doing the checklist” I shuffle his huge ball into the Lab which holds my prize possession, My white board. On it are previous attempts of communication like when we compared different organisms on earth and Erid, that day was partially exhausted as he could not grasp the idea of us keeping cats and dogs as pets. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he is kinda like a talking cat, thank god he doesn't have claws.
“Okay is it a concept?” I whip out my trusty pointer that in 90% sure Carl stole from my classroom. I'm a little offended that he took from my lovely students but it's fine because now I can save earth with it or whatever they think I'm doing down there.
“Yes. needs to be physical to hear it.” To hear it is a very confusing statement, it kinda makes me wonder if it's something like a speaker? This could show me how advanced Rocky's species is. I knew answering this question was going to be a good idea all along.
“Okay that's a little confusing, does it play sound?” I drew a doodle of a small JBL speaker that I kept when I was on the boat before they sent me here.
“No no no no no no no no, it is the sound” his bulky hands shake as if his repeated “no” wasn't going to be enough to indicate that again I was wrong.
Wait.
I think I know what he's talking about, it's music! It's played on a physical object like a record or CD but isn't the object itself, it's the concept! This is an insane discovery, I guess math isn't the only universal language.
“I know what you're talking about! We call it music, it kinda sounds like how you speak but more rhythmic and with english words. Rocky, this is insane!!!!!! This doesn't seem that big but this is huge to me, we can compare favourite singers ” I frantically edit the code to include this new word into his vocabulary which apparently is expanding more by the day. Sadly without the internet or my phone I have no way of showing the wonders of spotify to this sweet summer child.
“Muuusicccc” The computer draws out every vowel to a very annoying sound making my ears winch. It's like he's testing out the word on his tongue but without a tongue, his hands shuffle around in a dancing motion which I guess makes sense for the word.
“You know one of the other scientists might have brought an ipod or best case scenario a phone with data” Hopefully the Russian one brought it, she seems like she had some amazing music taste. Maybe we will find some nirvana or like Weezer, do they have Weezer in Russia?
“Grace goes too fast, unknown word” Rocky's speed is definitely slown down by his ball container thing, he trails a couple feet behind me as I desperately ripped through Olesya’s luggage trying to find anything I missed on the first casual look through. Finally sewed into the inner lining is a neat stack of sharpie labelled CDs in a sleek black wrapper. Okay so this wasn't exactly what I was expecting, you'd think that in a world where you are going to space you would bring stuff more modern. I'm way too excited to explain anything to Rocky right now. My hands carefully pull the CDs out of the packaging revealing at least 15 stacked and secured with a rubberband. I guess you can never be too careful when it comes to space travel. Surely if she burnt CDs there will be some classics, I need to show rocky my childhood music.
Rocky finally catches up to me, resting his jagged enclosure on the side of my body almost scratching the first CD.
“Rocky, you have to back up right now. These are very fragile and one scratch could fully ruin my access to music” Maybe all the sci-fi movies where correct and all aliens are really evil, soon he's going to be showing his real colours and stealing my skin.
“Grace what that question?” okay now I'm evaluating if he's a dog or a cat because im not even joking he did the head tilt, could he be a weird combination of both? I cant believe they dont have CDs on Erid, they probably have a version that goes directly into your concessions or some weird alien thing like that.
“These are CD’s, they basically use binary and convert it into sound waves. It's how we used to listen to music before we had screens! I used to love my giant collection of CDs, and wasn't expecting to see CDs ever again!” The selection she gave us is insane, there are some ultra classics like AC/DC, Bon jovi and my personal favourite the beatles. I remember in my 20’s I was a part of my college's JLISA club (it stands for John. Lennon. Is. Still. Alive) which was not only the craziest room I've ever been in but also surprisingly the gayest.
“How do you get the music out of them?” oh shit, there might not even be a CD player here.
“Thats a great point that I did not even think of, fuck,”
“I did”
“Thanks rock.”
After checking practically every room I have come to the conclusion that I cannot play these radical CDs and again thrusted into a musicless world. I mean I could try karaoke with Rocky again but there are only 2 songs loaded up. I am not even going to try “Lets call the whole thing off” again and I don't think Rocky is prepared for my rendition of “Bitch” by Merdith Brooks.
“Grace CDs go into electronic outlet questions?”
“Yes Rocky, you got a point to this question or is this one of your many random ones of the day?” At this point I'm going to be the world's best teacher with all these questions. I wonder if all Eridians are like this?
“Grace Put CDs in cock pit, lots of electricity"
“Could you be wrong like just this once”
“No.”
“Well lets see if you are right or finally wrong”
So he may have been correct but let's not focus on that part.
After at least an hour of searching I can finally be the first human to blast the world's best music into the solar system. The first CD is appropriately marked “strum me gently, im sensitive” in big black sharpie, did not know Olesya was like that but they do say never judge a book by its cover. The CD player is positioned just under the navigational screen and is probably the simplest tech in this entire room. Lucky the CD slides in perfectly much to Rocky’s excitement which can be seen though his constant jazz hands. The first track is displayed on the tiny screen as a faint but memorable melody begins to drift throughout the ship.
Track 01: Vienna - Billy Joel (3:37)
As the piano intro reaches my ears my body relaxes, like muscle memory kicking in. The lyrics faintly hum from my mouth even though it's my first time hearing it. Rocky instinctively rolls directly next to me, his ball clinking back and forth like he's trying to aesthetically sway. Soft memories return of slow dancing in my apartment's lounge with a woman with a blurred face, her soft hair cascades down my neck as we giggle at our messy footwork. The song spins on a vintage CD player, lamps push the perfect shade of orange into every crevice of my cheap suit. The song reaches the chorus as I'm brought back into reality, swaying in a space ship without the burred woman. Replacing her is someone who did so much more (and also didn't leave me for mark), he is also 10x better then the mystery woman. The final notes of the songs fade out and are replaced with sharp static. Either the CD player is broken or Olesya didn't realise you could do more then one song.
“Grace, what is Vienna, question?” Rocky's voice breaks the cold silence as I wipe tears from my cheek that I swear weren't there before. My body for some reason is shaking slightly as I eject the CD from the slot.
“It's a place on earth, I'll show it to you tonight. How about we play a less sad song” I slip in the next CD labelled “Khuyem grushi okolachivat” which no I do not know what that means but maybe it's nirvana.
Tack 01: Violent Pornogrophy - System Of A Down (3:32)
“Grace, what is this song about question?”
I was NOT ready to have this conversation.