Chapter Text
It started as a harmless, drunk-induced joke between two desperate friends.
“The divorce proceedings went well,” Ochako said, as if she were talking about the downpour of rain they’d been experiencing for the last week. It had hit that time of the night when she and Bakugou had drunk just enough to express thoughts that they would be hesitant to share when sober. “But,” she took a sip of the wine Bakugou brought back from his trip to Portugal. “The media has already blown it out of proportion.”
Ochako licked her lips. “Oooo, this one’s sweet and fruity, I thought you didn’t like sweet wine? What did you say?” Ochako made a face as if she was in deep thought about a philosophical question instead of an off-handed rant Bakugou made 3 years ago. “Ah, yes, ‘sweet wine is for people who want to feel sophisticated while drinking an overpriced cocktail with flavors that originate from a factory.’ What made you change your mind?” Ochako said in her best Bakugou impression.
Bakugou rolled his eyes, “and I stand by that comment, which is why I am drinking Arinto,” Bakugou looks at the bottle, “2020. I got that one for you, you told me to get you a bottle of wine from my trip, well I did, be grateful.”
Ochako turned her head away and moved her hands in a fanned motion, “Oh my! How romantic! You’re making me blush.” Bakugou lightly punched her in the shoulder.
“Shut up.” But his tone held no malice. Ochako liked Bakugou when he was a bit tipsy, which allowed her to tease him without the risk of property damage and a call to her insurance company.
“Anyway, I digress. The media has been spreading all types of rumors about our relationship and speculating our reason for divorce. It’s been exhausting, don’t they know not to ask questions about someone else's marriage?” Bakugou nodded.
“Been there, never a goddamn dull moment with those ravenous picture-taking wolfhounds. Maybe if they focused more on their own lives, they wouldn’t be so miserable as to but into ours.”
Ochako sighed. “My PR team is trying to stop the rumors from becoming a huge issue for my career as a hero. Though they are struggling, it’s difficult to stop gossip from spreading, especially with the speed of the internet nowadays.”
Bakugou poured himself another glass of wine and refilled Ochako’s. “You and the nerd were high school sweethearts; those losers used to make bets on what your kids would look like, or in the early stages, who would confess first. Hell, they used to argue who would be who in your wedding, but it was no use; obviously, I was going to be the best man, and they shouldn’t have gotten their hopes up. Not to mention you all never fought; it was disgusting how much you guys loved each other. Then Izuku went straight to America after the divorce; rumors were bound to spread.” Bakugou added, taking a slow sip from his glass.
“I forget how much calmer you are when you drink,” she remarked with a small laugh. Bakugou and Ochako have been meeting up for weekly dinner ever since Bakugou opened up his agency in the Kanto region of Japan, near where Ochako’s apartment was, but when it gets busy, as it had been for the last 2 months, they don’t get to see each other outside of work. “We broke up on good terms. I don’t get why everyone else can’t just accept that; he wants to travel the world, following in All Might's footsteps.” She swirled the wine as she continued her rant, “I would like to stay in Japan. I need to be here in case a disaster hits; my quirk is remarkable with rubble.” She tipped her glass.
“Don't I know it,” Bakugou nodded, thinking back to their first fight in freshman year of high school. Time changes a lot, but also nothing, all at the same time.
“Anyway, he wants to focus on that, but I intend to stay here and, I don’t know, maybe settle down, have a family someday. Our futures no longer align. I love him, but it just won’t work. We were young and thought love was all there was to marriage, that it would get us through every block in the road; we were naive.” Ochako looked down at her now-empty glass with a disappointed gaze. Bakugou had already gotten up to refill it.
“Anyway, enough with my failed marriage. How have you been, oh Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite?” She winced as she lay her head back onto the couch, her neck sore from a long day of work. “My god, that’s such a mouthful,” Ochako said as Bakugou sat back down on the couch, pouring her another glass of the Moscatel de Setúbal, 2019.
“You know the commission forced me into changing it to just Dynamite, in exchange for funding 15% of the construction of my hero agency.”
Ochako giggles, “Still funny though.” Bakugou rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. “But really, how have you been?” Bakugou looked at her and sighed.
Getting up again, he walked over to her mini-bar, got out a bottle of tequila, and poured it into a shot glass. “Want some?”
Ochako raised her eyebrow. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not interested in feeling like death in the morning; I have a early morning patrol shift in Kabukicho.” Ochako waved him off.
“Right, I forgot you hated doing shots after the incident at the graduation celebration party.”
Ochako grimaced, “Don't remind me.”
Bakugou snorted, “You flinging the purple-balled pervert over and over again against the wall was fucking hilarious.” Bakugou vaguely remembered the image of Mineta screaming as Ochako angrily shouted out all the bullshit he’s done since the start of year 1. It was a does of euphoria for everybody in the room that day, truly a revolutionary moment. Bakugou only wishes she had done it sooner.
“Alright, enough avoiding the topic, Bakugou; tell me what’s going on.”
Bakugou sighed, taking the shot he had in his hand. “My PR team has been trying to raise my ratings; they keep nagging me about how if I want to climb the ranks, I need to have a better persona on TV. They’re trying to convince me to get into a relationship to humanize me more. Not to mention, fan girls are starting to put themselves in danger just so I will pay attention to them. Alongside that, villains keep approaching me to try to get me to be their leader. Some shit about me not being appreciated and should be on the ‘right side of history.’ And to no one's surprise, journalists and news stations ate that up like a starving wolf. Tabloids started spreading false information about me being involved with villains. It’s a fucking hassle.”
Ochako had seen the news and knew he was always the most targeted when it came to the media and rumors, especially the…not so flattering ones. He had the hardest time out of anyone in their highschool class, well, besides Mineta, but she didn’t think it counted as a rumors if they were inherently true. “Hold on, back up, they want you to get with someone, like have an emotionally mature and stable relationship with another human being? You?” Ochako was so surprised by the stupid, but also extreme idea (well, extreme for Bakugou) that she was considering a mandatory psych-eval for Bakugou's PR staff and all those who contributed to the formation of that idea.
“First off, fuck you, and secondly, yes, specifically a girl.”
Ochako blinked, “… But you’re gay? You like men? You suck dick? I mean, I guess you could suck woman dick, but you prefer man dick-“
Bakugou threw a pillow at Ochako, “Stop talking about me sucking dick.” Ochako caught the pillow, trying to stop herself from laughing too much and cause the wine in her other hand to spill over the white carpet. There was no way she was letting Bakugou’s aversion to her talking about sucking dick stop her from drinking the very nice and extremely expensive wine in her glass. “But yes, though I’m not exactly publicly out, because the public needs to stay out of my fucking private life. But the commission is getting involved; they want to squeeze some more fucking merchandise out of me, so those greedy hogs want me to appeal to the general populace. Not to mention it doesn’t look great for them that fangirls are actively getting hurt and hindering my hero work. I don’t give a flying fuck about those stupid rankings, not if they are based on person-fucking-ality. I’m a good hero, and I fucking know it; it's not my fault people care too much about how PG-13 I am.” Bakugou takes another shot of tequila. Ochako hoped, for his sake and his team's, that he didn’t have an early morning the next day.
“I’m not some fucking celebrity; I’m a motherfucking hero.” Bakugou not exploding Ochako’s apartment is a sign of how much alcohol was currently flowing through his bloodstream. Though Ochako couldn’t blame him, they were heroes, even if they got treated like they were being considered for a Japan Academy Film Prize (apparently Japan’s version of an Oscar, we learn new things every day).
“To being a motherfucking hero,” Ochako poured Bakugou and her a shot, and lifted it in a toast.
“To being a motherfucking hero,” Bakugou copied, and they clinked glasses.
Slowly, the night moved on, and Ochako joined in on taking shots with Bakugou. She had completely forgotten about her early shift that morning.
“We should just get married.” Ochako concluded, breaking the comfortable silence that the 2 friends fell into.
“Pink cheeks, now I understand that I’m an amazing hero and a tall glass of water, but as we’ve previously established, you aren’t exactly my type.”
Ochako rolls her eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant, like just get married, maybe adopt a kid, and have 2 dogs and a cat. Just fool everyone and grow old together. I mean, you’re lonely-“
Bakugou interrupted, “I am not lonely.”
Ochako gave him a knowing look. “You're lonely, I’m lonely. We both know we can’t date civilians; you hate everyone, and I want to settle down. It’s perfect really.”
Bakugou gave an agreeing nod to the last part: “Imagine that, the bubbly and kind hero who is really a fucking menace.”
Ochako finished his sentence, “and an explosive, angry Pomeranian.” They both broke out in drunken laughter.
“Now that would throw the whole of Japan into an outburst.”
And boy did it.