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****Direct Message DrBashir to GaraksClothiers****: would you like to meet me at Quark’s tonight?
GaraksClothiers: perhaps. I thought you and Ensign Turner were spending most evenings together.
DrBashir: no, actually, I stopped seeing her about seven months ago
GaraksClothiers: oh, then I must have meant Ardi Lapo.
DrBashir: no, I haven’t gone on a date with him in over two years
GaraksClothiers:…is that what you’re suggesting at Quark’s?
DrBashir: is that what you’d like it to be? I mean, how would you feel about it?
GaraksClothiers: It sounds like you are not actually inviting me to a date with you.
DrBashir: You know what? You’re absolutely right.
GaraksClothiers: I often am. It’s more of a curse than a gift, really, though Cardassians don’t believe in curses.
DrBashir: Elim Garak?
GaraksClothiers: Yes?
DrBashir: Would you like to come on a date with me to Quark’s Bar and a Cardassian sauna program in the holosuite?
DrBashir: Garak?
DrBashir: Did you have to step away?
DrBashir: Are you still there? It’s been over five minutes.
GaraksClothiers: No, I am here.
GaraksClothiers: Yes. Yes, to clarify, yes, I would like to go with you to Quark’s.
GaraksClothiers: On a date.
GaraksClothiers: Shall we meet at 1730?
DrBashir: Yes, I’ll be there.
GaraksClothiers: Doctor, a Cardassian sauna is quite warm. I don’t know that you’re prepared for this level of heat. What did Quark tell you?
DrBashir: oh, you know. He’s Quark. He said, ‘that’ll be such and such GPL.’
GaraksClothiers: perhaps we should have a different program on standby
DrBashir: Why do you think we might need that?
GaraksClothiers: The temperature might not be what you expected. And as a general rule, Doctor, we Cardassians go to our saunas fully dressed.
DrBashir: oh. Well, of course. Yes, I knew that. It makes sense, with you being so much more accustomed to the heat.
GaraksClothiers: Whereas you, as a human, why, you wouldn’t be quite comfortable in typical casual or dress in such a warm setting, would you?
DrBashir: …
DrBashir: …
DrBashir: Perhaps I didn’t fully consider that
GaraksClothiers: So, would you like my advice on what to wear, or would you like to try a different program?
DrBashir: it’s going to be quite warm, you said.
GaraksClothiers: yes
DrBashir: would I be in danger from the temperature? If our bodies overheat, humans experience an emergency medical condition referred to as heatstroke.
GaraksClothiers: I would suggest you verify that the holosuite safety systems detect humans for this program, and we can adjust the temperature before then at any time. And we can also make sure you’re well hydrated.
DrBashir: then…what should I do? We'll be in Quark’s first, obviously, but afterward I can change in the holosuite. How did you imagine this?
GaraksClothiers: My dear, I was secretly hoping you would ask. You do have an excellent set you commissioned for your trip to that convention a few months ago. For once you listened to me about the length of your sleeves.
DrBashir: but I'm going to be sweltering in that outfit!
GaraksClothiers: no, you’ll find that you won’t, not once you change
DrBashir: I suppose that's right.
GaraksClothiers: do consider leaving off the undershirt and the briefs, those ruin the lines of the inseam
DrBashir: Garak!
GaraksClothiers: what?
DrBashir: have you been looking?
GaraksClothiers: I'm a tailor, it's part of my profession to be aware of these things.
DrBashir: you absolutely have, you liar!
GaraksClothiers: I wasn't lying.
DrBashir: That’s a bit saucy. Knowing I’m going to see you soon, not wearing anything under the clothes you made me...
GaraksClothiers: None of us are wearing anything under our clothes, to be quite frank.
DrBashir: so what am I changing into?
GaraksClothiers: When?
DrBashir: You know when, when I get into the holosuite. You'll be there, looking fantastic as ever, while I try not to melt...
GaraksClothiers: Oh.
GaraksClothiers: Thank you.
DrBashir: So? What are you imagining me doing…after I take off my clothes?
GaraksClothiers: Given my experience as a tailor, I'm sure I can figure something out for you that will flatter you and help you feel comfortable.
DrBashir: in the saunas I've been in, I remember fluffy towels and robes lying about, lounge chairs. Cushions. It looked relaxing. Inviting. Intimate.
GaraksClothiers: See, that's the spirit, you needn't worry about a thing. And I absolutely promise to avert my eyes whenever you bare your gorgeous, sweat-kissed skin.
GaraksClothiers: If you wish, my dear doctor.
DrBashir: ...
DrBashir: Garak, I think from this point forward, it’s Julian.
DrBashir: I’ll see you at 1730, and I think I’ll take your excellent advice about the attire.
GarakClothiers: For you, dear Julian, it’s Elim. I’ll see you soon.