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Bleary apparitions welcomed Ezra, reaching for him like hosts greeting an honored guest. Misty darkness painted his surroundings and dulled his senses.
The stumbling figures kept approaching and suddenly he decided that they were much more like monsters clawing at the air, reaching for him like he was their next meal.
Disgust roiled in his gut and he stumbled backwards— but his body wasn’t responding properly… or was it? Did he normally walk with a staggering and broken gait?
Confused, he looked down at himself… but his body was transforming, his orange jumpsuit was melting into the same shadowy darkness that made up the monsters’ bodies.
Gritting his teeth, he forced his body to move, sharp tearing pain ripped through his legs but he moved anyway. When he looked up the monsters were still coming and they were much closer than before.
Panic choked him and he took several frantic steps backwards- until the ground disappeared beneath him and he found himself falling backwards, his arms reaching for something- anything to save him from the fall.
But there was nothing. And he plummeted into the abyss.
Falling took a lot longer than he thought- almost an eternity of nothingness, so intense that everything else seemed to fade away… even the feeling of motion itself hid away until it was altogether gone.
Somehow his feet went down and his head went up until he was standing and there was some sort of ground below him. The inky void was no better than it had been, but he could sense that something was different.
Turning slowly, his eyes searched the darkness. There was no way to see anything, but after a second he started to understand what was there. His mind suddenly worked, and with it his eyes did as well.
His parents stood before him, faces somber and stances slumped. Ezra wondered if this was how they looked when they died- defeated.
“Mom?” He called, “Dad?”
They didn’t react at first, then their faces twisted in confusion and disgust.
“What are you?” His dad asked.
“What’d you mean?” Ezra looked at them, confused and hurt by their expressions. “It’s me, your son.”
“No,” His mom shook her head, “Ezra is a good, kind boy.”
“But mom,” He took a step forward, “It’s me. Why-”
They retreated a step, eyes watching him with wary distrust. He felt his heart ache, and he raised a hand to plead with them. But as soon as he laid eyes on his own arm he understood.
In place of his skin there was the same shadowy substance that made up the monsters. With a choked cry he clawed at it, but as his fingernails scraped it away there was nothing beneath it, no blood, no flesh, there was nothing left of him underneath it all.
“Look at what you’ve become.” It was Kanan’s disappointed voice.
Ezra’s head snapped up instantly to look around but he was all alone again, even his parents had disappeared.
“You thought you were a Jedi?” Sabine’s voice demanded. “You’re just a kid.”
“No,” Zeb scoffed, “He’s not even that anymore.”
Ezra could feel it, the truth echoing around him as he felt his very self unraveling. He wasn’t a kid anymore, he was hardly even a person.
As he looked down at his shadow hands all he could see was a monster.
With a strangled cry he clawed at his arms, tearing away the shadows, trying to find himself with this nothingness that had consumed him.
Finally, his hands flew up to his head, tearing at his scalp desperately, the shadows fell away and his claws drifted to his face- only to realize there were no shadows there, only his face.
His skin tore and blood coated his nonexistent hands, where his face went he had no idea, but without it he seemed to burst apart. Dissipating into the darkness like nothing more than a waft of smoke.
Nothingness felt about how he had expected. Like nothing.
But slowly… it faded into something, he could feel his mind slipping back together like so many pieces of a puzzle.
He could feel his eyes reforming and opening to see. Something wasn’t right, he could feel a chill creeping down his spine as he turned slowly in the void.
Just as he looked away a red glow illuminated the darkness with a snap hiss. Panic shot through him and his whole body froze as it came back into being.
His head turned slowly to see Maul standing there, just like he had that day on Malachor.
“Hello apprentice.” The smooth deadly voice greeted.
“No,” Ezra denied, shaking his head, “You shouldn’t be here.”
“But I am.” Maul intoned, sounding almost amused, “You can not escape me.”
Ezra shook his head, retreating a few steps. Maul stalked forward, yellow eyes boring into him.
The world around him shook with his sudden panic and Maul paused to glance around. Ezra’s hands flew to hold his head as his wide eyes were glued on his enemy.
“Go away.” He murmured, “Leave me alone.”
Maul looked at him, unimpressed. “You are asleep, Ezra.”
Of course he was asleep, did Maul seriously think he didn’t know that?
“You need to wake up.”
“No.” Ezra shook his head furiously.
“Apprentice.” The Sith’s voice was warning as he took another step forward.
Ezra jerked backwards, “No!”
The shout echoed and reverberated through the air, shaking the void to its very core. He flinched as everything and nothing folded in on itself. Maul became nothing more than a red blur, and he felt himself being pulled away.
But the scream didn’t die in his throat until he found himself sitting straight up in semi darkness.
Whatever he was sitting on was soft and warm but his body was still shaking and a cold sweat dampened his brow.
“Ezra?” The cry of alarm came from outside whatever room he was in.
The door slid open, spilling light into the room and he realized that he was indeed in his own quarters on the Ghost. But still he was wary.
Residual panic kept his heart racing and his eyes darting around, searching for any sign of danger. He immediately recognized Kanan and Hera as they rushed into the room, the silhouette of Sabine lingered in the doorway, while Zeb stood from the bottom bunk.
“Ezra?” Hera asked, “What’s wrong?”
His chest heaved as he hyperventilated, he felt faint for a second but it vanished the second Hera’s hand rested on his arm.
There was no delayed reaction time, his arm recoiled as he jolted backward.
“Don’t touch me!” The snap came out involuntarily and his heart ached at the way Hera drew back, visibly hurt.
“Ezra…” Kanan looked uncertain.
“I’m sorry.” He hissed out, folding in on himself and looking at them with tears shining in his eyes.
“It’s alright,” Hera soothed, “It wasn’t your fault.”
“No,” Ezra shot back, “I’m sorry, you… you didn’t deserve… I shouldn’t have-”
“You shouldn’t have what?” Sabine spoke up, “Killed us?”
“Wha-?”
“That’s right.” Sabine continued, “It was your fault.”
“N-no-” Ezra searched their faces one by one.
But their concerned expressions were morphing into something else. Dark, vengeful… deadly.
“That’s right.” Zeb agreed.
“You ruined everything.” Kanan added.
“You weren’t worthy of this family.” Hera put in.
The four of them looked positively murderous. Ezra scrambled back on his bunk, but they reached for him, hands- no, claws scratching at the air.
He could see it now, they flickered back and forth between themselves and the monsters, but as his gut twisted in horror the two melded together.
Four shadowy monsters with the grotesquely twisted faces of his friends- his family stalked toward him, clawing for him and echoing a strange mix of human accusations and beastly growls.
Frantic, he pressed himself into the wall on the other side of his bunk, the hard surface was cold, but as he focused on the chill, it rapidly started heating up-
A scream of agony ripped out of his throat as the molten metal burned into his back. Panicked, he tried to pull away, but it clung to him, dragging him down even as the monsters reached for him.
An all consuming, burning, melting pain swallowed him whole as he descended, first fast, then slower and slower until all he could think about was his molten skin and how it was slowly being pulled away.
Every single fiber of his being was ripped from him- and then it was stitched back together outside of his mind.
His body reacted before his mind did, he was on his feet in a second and a second later his eyes flew open.
The room was just the same. Dark, cold, inescapable. And just as he thought, a tall figure stood in the doorway.
“Apprentice.”
Ezra stood a bit straighter, body shaking from the adrenaline still pumping through him. But he knew what he had to do. Slowly, one step at a time he approached the door, stopping a few feet away and automatically dropping to one knee.
“Master.” His hollow voice responded.
Maul smiled, but it was cruel and cutting, “Rise,” He commanded, “We have much to do today.”
Ezra did as he was told- not that he had much of a choice. The nightmare still hovered at the edges of his mind, but he would’ve gladly accepted it back to avoid this reality that had somehow ensnared him.
The real nightmare was this life of his. And the dreams that haunted his sleep at night were nothing more than a welcome reprieve.