Chapter Text
9:41
Shane
Today 9:01 AM
I am not very nervous about Bood's.
Should I be?
Normal people would be nervous going to meet their partner's entire team after a plane crash and near-death experience.
Especially if the team had only just found out about your relationship, oh, like two days ago?
When he says don't bring anything, is that a lie?
Does Bood lie?
Ilya, I need to know right now.
Sort your team into 'liars' and 'those who can be trusted.'
Send me that list.
Oh yeah, here come the nerves.
no u r perfect
they r ones who should be nervous
they are excited for u to be there!
have u forgotten when haasy nearly fainted?
That was pretty cute. I thought I scared him.
he startles easy
like little swiss bird
I'll keep that in mind.
I am just so glad they were all so immediately accepting. Makes for a nice change.
I'm really sorry I did all that, by the way.
I didn't even ask. I couldn't think.
Just got in my car and drove straight to the airport.
it was best surprise after everything
u were always going to be part of team and bbqs one day
u just made manager (?) decision. made it happen faster
so it is ok to lie yes?
because it made everything much better in long run!
it is decided, shane and ilya are ok with small lies if they are for the best yay :)
Executive decision
thx
I mean, I don't think that counts as a lie?
Let's not make a sweeping rule for our relationship over this. But thank you for being understanding.
Your team are actually kind of assholes in a way...
ok i did not expect that
did someone say something??
Huh?
Who? What would they say?
No I just meant being that supportive of us.
It makes it so much harder for me to go back after...
You know, to Montreal?
ah that makes sense, sokovyzhimalka
just say word and i will take care of pike
Out of the entire team you pick one of the two guys who have been kind of okay.
Wait do you mean take care or "take care"?
😊
Your love is terrifying and hot. In that order.
😊
I googled sokovyzhimalka by the way!
😠
😉
9:45
Hayes
Today 9:35 AM
promise me hayes seriously
I promise! I keep my word, Cap.
thx shane is already stressed about crash in general
I know, Lisa won't let me out of her sight.
But like I said, I won't mention anything about the slide.
ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
see this is what i mean
Wait, it wasn't about the slide?
What was it about then?
????
were u not there for the bear?
nm
unsend
delete
siri help
9:58
Harris
Today 9:28 AM
pls pls don't tell shane
Ilya, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to you just yet.
i know i am sorry idk what came over me
I do! Some spirit of a Texan outlaw that you once were in a past life????
And a stubborn one at that.
yes u r so right
i just saw his name and i panicked 😥
OMFG I can't with you!
We could've gotten rescued even earlier!!!
i mean
Don't
it is pike we are talking about
so would that have really happened?
Today 9:47 AM
harris?
did we get disconnected?
put troy on
hey roz, it's Troy
why don't we play it by ear yeah?
I don't want Harris to stress out any more than he is already
troy!
troyyyyyyyyy
wait
pls do not forget how i backed u up when all hunger games talk started
uh... you didn't though?
FUCK
10:05
Haas
Today 9:55 AM
how r u today?
Glad we all made it back okay, mainly.
that is the spirit haasy!
we had some laughs
Um, sure. It was also very scary?
yes u did very well
now for bood's pls just do not mention bear
Why? It was a big moment.
Our Captain? Defending both camps from a bear!
Why would we not talk about this?
wait u weren't there either?
wtf who was there then??
who told u i defended camps?
Nobody. I was part of Operation Squirrel because you said that I "deserved a promotion."
Do you remember?
I assumed because when we came back there was no damage but also people were very stressed about the bear you had found.
hahahahah ok ok
yep i protected camps
it was right thing to do 🫡
now make sure u do not bring it up at all
ever
i am very modest about these accomplishments
This is Rozanov, yes?
Is this a test?
10:16
Dykstra
Today 10:07 AM
dykstra
pls i think i am fucked
bud, whats going on?
cant be worse than the plane crash
LOL
shane does not know about bear
ROFL
i had a plan 😥
LMAOOO
no
okay well not that many people saw it though?
only me and chouinard
troy harris hayes and wiebe were with boss baby on his mission
and dale was well yeah doesn't matter about dale really
so that just leaves tanner and bood?
tanner was at second camp by then i am sure
maybe bood did not hear because of cooking?
ready made meals on a tiny fire couldnt make enough noise to cancel out the way you came barreling back into the OG camp, man
you were yelling RUN! IS NOT DRILL!
i do not think i sounded like that
yea soz you're totally fucked
dead man walking
pray 4 me
👍
11:30
Marly
Today 10:30 AM
ok ok pls just do not mention when bear grabbed my stick
you okay, bro?
is this some sort of gay code?
has there been an incident?
at a gay bar?
what happened at the gay bar!?
who is he
which fuckin bear grabbed your stick????
it better not be anyone stateside
oh he better run
first a plane crash and now this?
roz, you point which way he went and I am there
you know your secrets are always safe with me btw
but you have NOTHING to be ashamed of
and you've got a great stick
but anything other than an enthusiastic yes is a no, man
your body your choice
fuck, even when guys have nothing they still have the audacity
Today 11:25 AM
ah fuck
sorry marly
texted wrong number
u r such a gem 😘
wrong number?
okay are you trying to break my heart or something now?
no, sorry, everyone processes in their own way
love you brother
love u marly
do not worry
stick is still only shane's
it was real stick
and real bear
will tell u more later
I know you will
![]()
AITA? car crashed in jungle & i caused problems for my friends
B-List Celebrity
will keep it short and not many details or u will work out what this is about lol
so car crashed in jungle last week and friends are mad because i tried to make things better but did not do very good job
tried to boost mood and be good car captain but plans did not work and made things worse
edit: i did not choose flair for post b-list? really? also i am not ilya rozanov but he sounds like excellent hockey player and friend
12210
💬 800 CommentsAward
Sort by: Best ▾
mythrowaway529583 • 2h ago
mythrowaway529583 • 2h ago
Wait, your car crashed in a jungle? What does that even mean? Why were you driving there? I think we need more information before we can make a judgment...
1847
💬 ReplyAward
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 2h ago
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 2h ago
it does not matter focus on heart
1
💬 ReplyAward
seventyoceans • 1h ago
seventyoceans • 1h ago
is this about the centaurs plane crash???? are you ilya rozanov?
OMG what did you do?
1072
💬 ReplyAward
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 1h ago
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 1h ago
r u blind? it says car and jungle
1
💬 ReplyAward
seventyoceans • 1h ago
seventyoceans • 1h ago
yeah that's basically the part that made me think plane and forest, man.
461
💬 ReplyAward
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 1h ago
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 1h ago
YTA
1
💬 ReplyAward
seventyoceans • 1h ago
seventyoceans • 1h ago
lol okay
818
💬 ReplyAward
AITAModTeamMOD • 30m ago
AITAModTeamMOD • 30m ago
Please refrain from judging the replies.
1
💬 ReplyAward
rcensational • 45m ago
rcensational • 45m ago
Okay I think I can suspend my disbelief enough to skip over the concept of a 'car captain' and offer some actual input....
Like how bad are we talking problems-wise? Because if you're in an emergency and you try to get help or uh make a jungle shelter and it doesn't work, well who can really blame you? But if you started swinging punches and ate all the car snacks, that's a totally different story.
729
💬 ReplyAward
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 40m ago
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 40m ago
more like creative nicknames and get to know u questions and active listening and maybe showed bear way to camp and mood booster activities yes?
1
💬 ReplyAward
hedblehockeysticks • 28m ago
hedblehockeysticks • 28m ago
ahahahahah my man really trying to slip in a BEAR amongst mood boosting activities? wtf
317
💬 ReplyAward
getawayaccount • 17m ago
getawayaccount • 17m ago
Pray tell, what bears live in a jungle?
199
💬 ReplyAward
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 11m ago
normallyverygoodatthingsOP • 11m ago
panda
1
💬 ReplyAward
canyouhearmeow • 8m ago
canyouhearmeow • 8m ago
IMMEDIATELY one of my favourite Reddit threads ever. OP crashed his car in China and led a panda to the camp as car captain. No notes.
438
💬 ReplyAward
