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Grace knew it was coming. There’s no denying it. He’d been touch starved before. After his parents died, he had no one. He was seventeen, so the state decided he was old enough to live on his own. He’d quickly packed his bags and headed to college. Whilst there, he didn’t really date or anything. He just focused purely on his studies.
It wasn’t until he dated Marissa that he realised how bad it was for him. They’d constantly spent time together and all Ryland wanted was for them to share physical touch, naturally they both had separate jobs and lives to attend to, and he missed her touch constantly. There were times when they’d cuddle together and it was the best time for Ryland.
Once they broke up though, Ryland went back to his solitude. He didn’t want to face heartbreak again so he never really dated again. He would turn anyone down that approached him with interest. In hindsight, that was a really stupid thing to have done.
Maybe if he’d been more physical with people, even on a Platonic basis, he wouldn’t be in this situation.
Grace shook the thoughts from his head. It wouldn’t have mattered. Not only would Stratt have sent him anyway, but touch starvation was inevitable. He couldn’t have avoided it by being in a relationship before leaving the planet. Especially given it was a four-year journey to Earth or, now, Erid. He released a deep sigh from his chest.
“Grace okay, question?” Grace lifted his head to look at Rocky in his bed compartment.
“Yeah, just thinking about stuff, bud.” Rocky wiggled his carapace a little.
“Grace struggle to sleep, question? Talk about it, question?” Grace winced slightly at the thought. How the heck was he meant to explain touch starvation to Rocky?
“There’s this thing that humans get when they are isolated for long periods of time without physical touch. We call it touch starved-” Rocky shot up on all of his legs in alert.
“Starve. Grace not starve. Rocky fix!” Rocky began tapping about on the spot in the bubble.
“No. Rocky, listen.” Grace sat up, his quilt falling around his lap. “We call it touch starved as another human has not been touched in a while. We need physical, skin to skin contact with one another for our brains to stay healthy.” Rocky tapped his claws together before stamping multiple of his claws to the bed.
“How Rocky fix, question?” Grace was taken aback by the question.
“Well, I-” Grace thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know bud. I don’t think you can fix it. The only way would be to-” The realisation hit Grace like a truck.
He was never going to touch another human being again. He would always be touched starved. He would always have the hunger for skin to skin contact that he would never be able to satiate. He wouldn’t feel the heat of another person’s skin against his. He wouldn’t feel or hear a heartbeat other than his own.
“Grace, what wrong, question? Heart and chest move fast. Bad bad bad.” Grace took in a shuddering breath. Rocky was right, his heart was pounding, and his chest was tight.
“I just-nothing. It’s fine. I don’t think you can fix this, Rock.” Rocky stamped his claws again.
“Grace say Grace feel bad, Rocky fix.” Before Grace could say anything in response. Rocky skittered down to his ball and clunked his way to the lab.
“Woah, hey, where are you going?” Grace nearly tripped over his shoes as he tried to get them on.
He followed the noise of Rocky’s magnets connecting to a metal surface. He found him in the lab, on the table, typing away at the laptop.
“Rocky-?” Rocky snapped his carapace to Grace at such speeds that Grace was certain that (if he had eyes and) if looks could kill, Grace would be dead on the spot.
“Rocky read on portable Earth thinking machine-”
“Laptop but yes-” Rocky stamped his feet at the interruption.
“Rocky read that blanket with weight help.” Grace thought about it for a moment. He had read about them on Earth but never got one himself.
“I mean, yeah, it could help, but I don’t have one?” Rocky tapped his claws together for a moment.
“Grace sleep time.” Rocky slowly rolled his way down the leg of the table.
“What-? That’s it? I just go to bed now-” Rocky appeared at his feet.
“Yes. Grace sleep. Grace stupid when no sleep.” Rocky charged ahead of him to the dormitory. Grace sighed and followed him. He was pretty tired.
He climbed back into bed and pulled his quilt over himself.
“Goodnight Rocky.” He looked over at Rocky to see he was working with his Xeonite.
“Goodnight Grace.”
Grace fell asleep to the gentle sounds of Rocky knitting his Xeonite together into his latest project.
~~~
“Good morning, Doctor Grace.” Grace blinked a couple of times as the lights slowly got brighter around him. He brought his hand up to his face — or at least he tried to. There was something heavy across his body.
He lifted his head and opened his eyes to see some kind of blanket — no it wasn’t a blanket, it wasn’t made of fabric. It was like a sheet of something. Grace squinted at the sheet. Xeonite, it was Xeonite.
“Grace awake. Good good good. Rocky make surprise.” Grace sat up, the quilt and Xeonite sheet falling to his lap.
“I see that. What is it?” Grace picked it up, it was heavy, but it looked like it was only a small sheet of it.
“Rocky make blanket with weight to help Grace. Rocky only make one part so far.” Grace looked over at Rocky to see he was actively working on another part of it with what looked like a third part behind him. Grace felt himself tear up.
“Thank you, Rocky.”
“Grace save Rocky. Least Rocky can do to help Grace.”