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"I'm twenty-five and I'm stuck working at a grocery store."
"—ves?"
"I'm twenty-five and my mom still has to call me to make sure I'm not dead."
"…A—ry?"
"I'm twenty-five and I'm stuck working at a shitty grocery store and my mom has to call me to make sure I'm not dead and I live with someone who knows me better than I know myself and he's looking at me, he's looking and probably judging, he's looking and his mouth is moving because he's talking, he's talking and I can't even listen to what he's saying—"
"Avery?" Derek asks for what feels like the 1000th time, he looks down at Avery.
Down?
"I'm on the floor. I don't know how I got on the floor."
Avery springs to his feet, a smile already plastered onto his face, it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Huh— Oh, Hey, Der! What are you, uh…Whatcha doin' here?" He walks into the kitchen, Derek trails behind him, watching.
Watching, watching, watching, all the time as if Avery is going to break something, as if he's a child. Maybe that's why Derek always asks to cook, maybe that's why Derek always asks to drive. Is Avery that untrustworthy?
Derek watches as Avery busies himself with cooking, standing in the entrance as to not get thrown out. Avery is very serious about his kitchen.
"It's midnight, Aves…Why are you cooking?" Derek asks.
"…Maybe I'm just a guy that likes to cook at twelve o'clock, Der!" Avery grins.
"I don't know what I'm doing. Why am I doing this?"
"I— Well, I'm gonna head back to bed…Goodnight, Aves." Derek mutters, a tired smile rests on his face as he turns to walk away, it reaches his eyes, it's real.
"He's walking away. He's walking away and I don't want him to, but he deserves his space and I've already bothered him so much..."
"Wait!" Avery starts.
Derek stops, his head tilting slightly as he turns to look at Avery. It only amplifies Avery's growing feelings of stupidity. He wakes his roommate up at midnight because of his dumb overthinking and now he isn't even letting him go back to bed.
The cold feeling of selfishness gnaws at him.
Avery blinks at Derek, he can feel his face heating up, he doesn't even know what to say.
"Can you just, uh…Can you just stay for a moment? If that isn't too much trouble or anything, because—"
Derek is at his side before Avery can get another word out. Avery doesn't know when he sinks to the floor, but Derek sits down next to him.
"It's midnight and I'm sitting on the kitchen floor. It's midnight and I'm probably wasting his time."
"So, uh…The kitchen is…interesting." Derek says, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. Avery laughs at his attempt to make smalltalk.
"Yeah, nighttime really makes the tiles look all tile-y." Avery teases, to which Derek shoves him.
"I'm trying over here, Aves!" He laughs.
"Your version of 'trying' is calling the kitchen 'interesting!?'"
"You're the one that asked me to stay!" Derek smiles. He's leaning against Avery now, he's holding his hand.
Their laughter dies down after a while, leaving the two with nothing but the sound of their own breathing and the comforting glow of the kitchen-light. Derek continues to lean against Avery. He's tired, Avery can see it.
"I made him stay here. I made him sit with me at midnight all because of my stupid thoughts."
The selfishness continues to tear away at him, but he can't focus on it for long. There is a weight against his shoulder.
Avery turns to see that Derek's head is resting on his shoulder. If he wasn't panicking before, he is definitely is now.
"…Der?" Avery whispers.
Derek moves, and for a second, Avery thinks that he's ruined everything, that Derek is going to get up and leave any second now, that he's going to leave him alone on the kitchen floor, that he's—
"G'night…Aves…" Derek mumbles. Avery freezes.
"He's sleeping on the kitchen floor. He's leaning against me and sleeping on the kitchen floor because I asked him to stay. It's midnight and we're on the kitchen floor and I'm scared of ruining everything if I even think of moving him."
"It's midnight and sometimes you have to sleep on the kitchen floor. It's midnight and maybe this isn't selfish."