Chapter Text
Up until this year, Craig Tucker would have never even considered auditioning for the school play. In his eyes, the school play was for dorky loners; kids who put themselves out there on stage only to become rejects, a kind of social suicide that's 10 times deadlier if you're a dude. After 16 long years of maintaining a decent standing in the popularity hierarchy, Craig wasn't looking to fuck all of that hard work up, so he stayed as far from the drama department as he could.
Craig was a boy that generally tried to keep to himself, to blend into the background, and having a bright spotlight on you while you recite corny lines was in no way conducive to either of those things. Putting aside all of the incredibly embarrassing aspects of acting, Craig had always just accepted that he was probably shitty at it. Even if he wanted to audition, his horrible pitch and inability to be convincing eliminated virtually any chance he had of being cast - not that he had tried, but guys like Craig tended to assume they had no shot, cause why would they even want one? Theater just wasn't his thing and he knew it never would be.
Or that was the case, up until the fateful night in 11th grade when Clyde had dragged him to South Park High School's production of Legally Blonde.
The only reason they were there was because Bebe, Clyde’s on and off girlfriend/situationship/they're-probably-in-love-but-Bebe-won't-admit-it, was playing the role of Elle Woods. The two were officially dating at the time, so of course Clyde was over the moon and incredibly insistent about getting to see her perform.
Craig would have preferred to be pretty much anywhere else, but begrudgingly took a seat in the front row next to a giddy Clyde and watched as the musical began.
In full honesty, he did try to enjoy the show.
He had heard speculation from a couple of gossipy girls in his class, presumably also theater kids, that the only reason Bebe had gotten the part was because of her hair, but that theory was quickly disproven. The blonde girl was excellent, and one of the few people that seemed able to maintain popularity despite being super invested in the drama department.
But her skills did not take away from the fact that as one loud, spunky showtune turned into another, Craig found himself wishing he'd stood his ground and hadn’t been badgered into coming along. Each minute that passed only made him grow less and less invested in the story of Elle and how she chased her ex boyfriend to college, and solidified his disinterest in theater.
All this to say, once again, that the thought of going to another show, much less auditioning for the school play, would have never even crossed Craig's mind.
But then Tweek Tweak came on stage.
Tweek Tweak, who Craig had been helplessly, embarrassingly in love with since around the 9th grade.
No matter how many times Craig had gone over it in his head, he couldn’t come up with a solid reason for his infatuation with the boy; after all, they barely fucking knew each other. It might have had something to do with his pretty eyes, or his cute nose, or his wild hair that looked soft to the touch. It could have had something to do with his high-pitched laugh, or the way he always smelled like coffee, or how gorgeous he looked when he smiled. It might also have very well had to do with that one time he beat the shit out of Eric Cartman for calling him a fag and looked insanely fucking hot while doing so.
It probably had something to do with that.
Craig found himself enamored with the musical instantly, ignoring the way Clyde glanced at him with a knowing smirk upon the blonde’s arrival, as he was now eager to take in as much of the boy's performance as possible. Bebe was good but Tweek was amazing. Like, insanely amazing. He was incredibly biased, of course, but Craig would go so far as to say that Tweek was the best actor he'd ever seen. He did say this, in fact, the moment they left the lobby of the auditorium after congratulating Bebe and their other friends who were in the show.
“Tweek is like… the best actor I've ever seen,” Craig commented dreamily, more to himself than to the brunette walking beside him.
Clyde snorted. “Holy simp.”
Craig felt his face flush and quickly snapped out of the lovesick trance he was in. He then elbowed Clyde in the shoulder (the only spot accessible due to their height difference).
“Shut the fuck up, man. As if you can be talking.”
“Hey! I- well… y’know what? Fair. But you really are so fucking gay for him dude,” Clyde insisted, snickering. Craig sighed. Clyde didn't stop talking. “It's sickening. At least I'm actually dating the chick I'm whipped for. Please just ask him out so I don't have to deal with you anymore.”
The blue boy groaned loudly and sped up in order to get away from his best friend.
He heard Clyde calling between giggles from far behind him. “Dude, wait! Craig, haha, I'm sorry, man, I'll shut up!”
“You better,” Craig grumbled as he waited for the shorter of the two to catch up and unlock his car.
The topic was dropped and they discussed other aspects of the show (or, Clyde ranted while Craig said “right,” and “mhmm”) until they were a block away from the Tucker residence, where Craig would be dropped off.
“You know…”
“Don't.” Craig could already tell from his shit eating grin what Clyde was about to bring up again.
“I'm not even gonna make fun of you dude.”
Craig narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
“I'm not!!” Clyde insisted, chuckling.
Craig wasn’t convinced, but inquired in spite of himself.
“...what were you gonna say?”
“Just that we've only got one more year of high school. Which means one more play. And if you want to get closer to the guy you like,” Clyde grinned, pausing for dramatic effect, “maybe you should audition for it.
…
“Excuse me?”
“Hm?”
“Are you fucking serious?” Craig asked incredulously.
“Yes??? He does it every year, man. You'd finally get to spend time with him!”
“I–”
Clyde’s car came to an abrupt stop due to lack of attention from the driver, causing Craig’s retort to be cut short by the surprise.
The brunette turned back to him and smiled, raising his eyebrows.
“We're here!”
Craig glared at his friend in disbelief for a few moments longer before climbing out of the car.
As he made his way down the walkway towards his front door, he heard Clyde call out once more:
“Just think about it!”
Then he drove off.
And Craig did think about it. A lot.
He thought about it that night, and the next day, and every time he passed Tweek Tweak in the hallway, and all throughout the summer.
Craig thought about it so much, in fact, that when senior year came around, his desperation to maybe, just maybe get to talk to his crush for longer than a few seconds compelled him to write his name on the stupid little audition sheet pinned to the bulletin board by their drama teacher's classroom.
The play for their senior year was none other than Romeo and Juliet, a production which, fortunately for Craig who had no musical ability whatsoever, had no singing.
He had originally planned to just audition for the ensemble, but this idea was immediately shot down by his dear friend Clyde.
“Absolutely not.”
“Why?”
Clyde took a bite of his burger and continued speaking with food in his mouth. Gross. “Tweek'th g'nna audithion for ‘ne of the leadth, I'mf sure he'll get it, too. Thn you'll bfe,” he swallowed, “ugh. Then you'll be stuck in ensemble and you'll never get to talk to him, ruining any chance of you two having an epic love story!”
“Who the hell said anything about an epic love story?”
“Okay then, Craig. You'll ruin any chance of getting to go to prom with him.”
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“Not with that attitude it isn't!”
Craig sighed in frustration. “Clyde, there’s only two leads and one is a girl. He's fucking incredible and wayyy better than me so he's obviously gonna get Romeo. It would be stupid to even try. Besides, I don't care about being the lead, I just wanna get into the show.”
“Dude,” Tolkien began from across the lunch table, “do you even remember 9th grade? When we read the play?”
“Um… kinda?”
“Clearly not, cause if you did you'd remember that there are a ton of other guy roles that have a similar amount of lines to Romeo and Juliet. You could probably get one of those.”
“...oh.”
“Have y-y-y-you even loo-looked over the list of r-r-roles?” Jimmy inquired, raising an eyebrow.
Craig swallowed. “Um.”
“Jesus christ, dude.”
Later that day, Craig finally looked over the list of roles. That was probably something he should have done far sooner, but better late than never, he supposed.
Tolkien was right in the fact that there were a bunch of other big characters, though Craig seriously doubted that he was good enough of an actor to score one.
At this point, he normally would have given up on the idea of a lead or a supporting role, and reverted back to his ensemble plan. But if he was being honest, he agreed with what Clyde said: that if he just did that, he would be too far from Tweek during rehearsals to ever really get to know him.
So, Craig Tucker did something he'd never done before: he actually put effort into something that wasn't for a grade or for his guinea pig.
All they had to do for the audition was read a monologue belonging to the character they wished to get. Craig figured that Romeo’s monologue, while extremely unlikely to earn him that part, would be a good idea if he wanted to be considered for a lead, so that was the monologue he practiced. He practiced it to the point where he didn't need the, now very wrinkled, sheet of paper with his lines (surprising, considering Craig’s track record when it came to forgetting what to say during presentations in class, but oh, the crazy things that love makes you do, or whatever). Clyde applauded him for this and enthusiastically said he should do the monologue from memory during the audition.
“It'll make you stand out!” said Clyde, who was perched in Craig’s spinning office chair in his bedroom. “Bebe told me once that they usually think the people who have it memorized are better fit for the parts or something.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Clyde nodded and spun in the chair once, only to immediately lose his whimsy and rest his head in his hands, sighing. “I wonder if Bebe’s memorizing her monologue for auditions…”
Craig sighed as well, but for a very different reason. Bebe had broken up with Clyde approximately 48 hours ago, and Clyde was miserable in every sense of the word. It had already gotten to the point where they could be outside, doing nothing, and the pitiful brunette would point to the grass and say “Bebe walked on grass once.” It was very annoying.
The date of the audition finally came, and Craig Tucker found himself incredibly nervous - far more nervous than he ever would have anticipated. His stomach felt tight with nerves and his palms were incredibly sweaty as he anxiously waited outside the drama classroom to be summoned.
Clyde had already sent him about 15 messages of encouragement, which all dumbed down to “you've got this!” but got more and more outlandish in their wording as they went on. It made Craig laugh a little at least, which almost helped to calm his nerves.
Almost.
Craig had not seen the object of his affection enter or leave the classroom, but just knowing that he'd get to be close to Tweek soon enough made him feel much better. The ravenette knew about the boy's rampant anxiety, and wondered if Tweek was even more terrified than he was. Craig wished more than anything that he could comfort the blonde boy in situations like this; that he could give him a hug (or maybe even… a kiss) or be the one sending him those much needed texts of encouragement. He knew how sappy all of it sounded, especially for thoughts about someone he had barely even spoken to, but he couldn’t help being in love. Maybe someday they could do all of those things, he thought wistfully. Maybe someday…
The door to the drama classroom opened, snapping Craig out of his thoughts, and out walked a different blonde boy in his grade.
“Looks like they need you in there now!” Butters Stotch informed him, grinning excitedly. He seemed to be barely containing his pride over his audition.
Craig didn’t need a rundown (as it would probably just worsen his fear) so he nodded with a small “thanks” and hurried through the door.
Butters’ “You’re welcome! Good luck in there, bud! You're gonna do…” was cut off by the sound of the door shutting, blocking out any outside noise.
The high school drama teacher, Ms. Daniels was sitting at her desk and looked up eagerly when Craig came to a halt in front of her. She stood up with a smile and began to speak.
“Craig Tucker! Your name on the list was certainly a surprise! I had no idea you were interested in theater.”
Something Clyde had said about being “personable” during the audition (another old tip from Bebe, he had to guess) flashed through his mind, and Craig decided to really try and make this a good impression.
“Oh, um, yes!” Craig said with a smile that he hoped didn't look as fake as it was - he currently felt as if he were going to crumble from the anxiety. “Well, I just figured that I might as well, um, give it a go… since it’s my last chance, and all.”
“I love that kind of spirit, Craig. We can always use more guys in the drama department. Now you're auditioning for…” she leaned over to check a list on her desk, “...Romeo! That's bold for your first production.”
“W-well, like I said, it's now or never, right?”
The encouraging look on the teacher's face which told him he was in fact making a good first impression helped to ease the vomit coming up from how incredibly corny he felt after saying that.
“Will you be needing a copy of the monologue or did you bring your own?”
This was his chance.
“I have it memorized, actually.”
Ms. Daniels raised her eyebrows, impressed.
“Well then, begin whenever you're ready.”
Craig left the audition only a few minutes later feeling incredibly relieved. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He had been so hyper focused on remembering his lines, saying them with the right amount of emotion, and getting the fuck out of there that he had paid little attention to any other looks from the teacher that may have hinted at whether or not he would get a decent part.
Not that he cared. He would just have to wait and see.
As the date of the cast list being posted drew nearer, Craig found himself making an attempt to smile and wave at Tweek Tweak whenever he could in hopes of making it less awkward when he tried to strike up a conversation during their first rehearsal. After the first few times, Tweek almost always returned the sentiment, his nervous little grin making Craig’s insides flutter excitedly whenever he saw it. He fought the urge to stop him in the hall and make small talk about how his audition went, purely out of concern for making both of them late to class. Besides, useful conversation starters like that needed to be stocked up until rehearsals, so he could use them to save himself from an awkward silence after he inevitably says something weird or dumb and almost ruins everything.
Craig knew for a fact that Tweek would get Romeo (he was amazing, after all) and he couldn’t fucking wait to see him on stage again. He also couldn't wait to see him in that kind of formal attire. Considering that he looks gorgeous just the way he is, Craig thought he might have a heart attack from how good he'd look in that costume.
Days went on, and silent waves turned into “hey"s and “hi"s that made his heart jump slightly every time.
And as those days went on, Craig couldn’t help but contemplate what part he was going to get.
He obviously didn’t care about theater - he was only doing this to get closer to a guy he likes - and he doesn't give one fuck about what part he gets.
Does he?
It was mildly embarrassing to admit it, but on the morning of the cast finalization, Craig was not only eager to see Tweek’s name next to Romeo, but was anxious to see if he got anything other than the ensemble.
Maybe he did care. Just a little.
He did put a shit ton of effort in after all.
Craig hurried down the sidewalk on a journey to the performing arts center, in hopes that he could get there and back to the main building in time for his math class to start. The breeze was chilly that morning, as the school year was already nearing holiday break. Craig knew, from information that, once again, Clyde got from Bebe, rehearsals wouldn’t start until January.
He guessed that when he arrived there would already be a huddle of excited teens surrounding the list on the drama room bulletin board, and that was exactly the case. As the blue boy drew nearer, the loud chatter was made a bit quieter, with students taking glances at him and whispering things that escaped his ears.
When he finally reached the crowd, they parted without him asking, making a path from him to the list. The looks and whispers continued.
…weird.
Craig thought nothing of it, supposing it might just be the Tall Privilege he has which usually makes people move out of the way.
His nerves were high again, much like they were at auditions.
He began repeating, 'whatever you get is good, whatever you get is good' in his mind, trying to gaslight himself into thinking he was totally fine with getting ensemble.
He wasn’t. Not really. He'd have done all that work for nothing and would rarely get to see Tweek that way.
God, I hope I got a good part.
But he knew he wouldn’t. He knew that he was a shit actor that they'd never give a role like Benvolio or Paris to, and that he'd simply have to scan the list until he finds his name in the column of ensemble members–
“Congrats, Tucker.”
Craig looked up. He had been staring at his feet without noticing, subconsciously avoiding looking at the list.
The source of the statement was Kenny McCormick, who was leant casually against the wall next to the list. He had a half-gone cigarette between his lips. Lord knows he's gonna get detention or something for that later.
Craig hadn’t expected to see Kenny there.
“You’re… in the show?”
“Yup.”
“Oh. I didn't realize you were… into theater.”
Craig was stalling.
Kenny furrowed his eyebrows. “I was literally in Legally Blonde. I saw you at one of the shows.”
“...fuck. I must have missed you.”
I was probably distracted…
“Clearly,” Kenny chuckled.
Craig shoved his hands into his pockets and tried to waste a little more time. “Who, um… who are you playing?” He tried to seem nonchalant and uninterested but was genuinely terrified to turn his head towards the sheet of paper.
Kenny grinned and gestured to the list.
“Why don't you take a look, Tucker?”
Not yet.
“Why don't you just tell me?” Craig challenged.
The dirty blonde boy eyed him for a moment before sighing and grinning slightly.
“I'm Mercutio,” he stated, looking proud of himself. He paused before adding, with a smirk,
“And you're our leading man.”
Craig felt something twist in his stomach and looked down again.
McCormick was making fun of him, he was sure of it.
He was probably ensemble. No, he probably wasn’t even on the list. He probably was so insanely bad that they said “no way in hell we're putting this guy in the show.”
Of course. Of fucking course that would be the case.
Of fucking course his luck would screw him over like this.
All prospects of getting to talk to Tweek were gone.
He'd never get to strike up a conversation.
He'd never get to take him to prom.
He'd never get to have his epic love story.
All his hard work was for nothing.
God dammit.
“Funny, McCormick.”
“I'm being fully serious, Craig.”
…
Craig looked up.
He stared at Kenny and his stupid grin, squinting for signs of sarcasm.
“Excuse me?”
“Look at the goddamn list, Tucker.”
…
So he did.
The heading read:
Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
Cast List
And right under that,
ROMEO……………………….Craig Tucker
…
Holy shit.
“Holy shit.”
“Holy shit, indeed,” Kenny agreed, seemingly entertained by the dumbfounded look on Craig's face. “How the hell did you do that?”
Craig’s mind was blank for a solid 10 seconds before an onslaught of confused thoughts bombarded him. The suddenly loud congratulations from the other kids only served to make it worse.
He had fully thought that… Tweek was going to get the lead. Why wouldn’t he? Craig knew there was no way he was the only one who saw Tweek’s talent.
He looked back to the list in search of his love, scanning over the names which the other parts were allocated to.
He noted Bebe Stevens, of course, as Juliet, Leopold Stotch as Benvolio, Kenneth McCormick as Mercutio, and a number of other students whom he didn’t recognize which the other parts belonged to.
But as he got further down the list, he realized that Tweek’s name simply… wasn’t there.
…
'What?'
“Uh, are you alright, fella?” asked a concerned looking Butters who Craig had failed to notice was standing right next to Kenny.
Craig was unbelievably confused.
They didn’t, like, not let him in the show, did they?
There was no way. He’s way too good to get rejected.
So why the hell isn’t his name on the list?
“Yeah. Math. I gotta get to math.”
Craig heard Kenny chuckle as he left.
It took him maybe 2 minutes to reach the math classroom. Most everyone was already there, including Clyde who beckoned him over, visibly excited to hear the news of what part he got.
But Clyde wasn’t who he was looking for.
“Wendy?”
The black haired girl turned sharply away from her conversation with Red, a confused expression on her face.
“Uh, hey, Craig,” she greeted awkwardly. Her lack of understanding was warranted, as the two had had no reason to voluntarily speak to each other in years. “Whats up?”
“You’re like… friends with Tweek, right?”
Wendy eyes him suspiciously. “...yes.”
“I, uh, was just wondering if he said anything about… him not doing the play this year?”
Please say he's doing it. Please. Maybe there was some kind of mistake.
“Oh! Yeah, he's not. He has a shit ton of new work and stuff that his parents are making him do at the shop so he isn't able to this time.”
Fuck.
After going out of his way to audition, prepare, stress over getting into this show and bag the lead role (which he still hadn’t fully processed), Tweek wasn’t even doing the play.
The whole reason Craig had started all this in the first place had work conflicts and wasn't in the production.
Fuck.
And now, he was in the school play with the most noticeable role possible. There was no hope for blending into the background. And he was stuck with it.
Fuuuuuck.
“I think he's gonna try to do tech, though.”
…
“...really?”