Chapter Text
Here’s the thing.
Giyuu knew he wasn’t good with people. Even as a child, despite his cheerier disposition, it was Tsutako who connected with the people of their village, and Giyuu only managed to talk to others once they initiated the conversation. And even then, looking back on it now, those conversations only lasted as long as they did because the people he spoke to were fond of him, not because he was a great conversationalist.
It grew worse when Tsutako died, protecting him from a demon. He had tried to tell the others what happened, to explain what he saw and heard as he cowered in the closet she hid him in, but the right words hadn’t come, and his panic and desperation for them to believe him had made it easy for the villagers to declare him insane.
Their cold eyes and mutters, like ‘I always knew there was something off about that boy,’ and ‘this was inevitable’, followed after him and silenced his voice as he was escorted out of the village to be sent to his uncle and committed to an asylum.
Giyuu never quite got his words back, even after escaping from his escorts and running away, only to be found by Urokodaki and Sabito. Both of them helped soothe his long-buried anxiety, and he got better about opening up and talking. But then Sabito died, was killed because Giyuu was too weak to stand beside him, too weak to do anything but be saved by others, and it was as if Sabito took Giyuu’s voice with him to his grave.
Spending the years between the Final Selection and his first Hashira meeting (even though he was nothing but a placeholder) alone, doing nothing but slaying demons, had only locked him further within himself, and it was proven each time there was a Hashira meeting called and he had no choice but to interact with the others.
Himejima was silent like Giyuu, but unlike the false Water Hashira, he had no problem speaking his mind when he wanted or talking to the others when he chose. Giyuu had the utmost respect for him, though, and the Stone Hashira didn't seem to mind when Giyuu didn’t speak or only responded with a few words. He was kind to him. Maybe they weren’t friends, but Giyuu was confident in calling him a comrade.
Uzui was…interesting. He was outgoing in a way Giyuu admired but was also terrified of. Having the confidence to be unapologetic about yourself was something to be envied, but the thought of being like that always made Giyuu’s hands shake and his throat close if he tried to speak to him, and his silence led the older man to quickly label him as ‘unflashy.’
(And there were moments when Giyuu would catch Uzui looking at him with a look in his eyes, one that, while not outright disdainful, definitely wasn’t friendly either. Perhaps he knew he was a fake, wasting everyone’s time.)
Kanae…she had been a real friend to him. She reminded Giyuu so much of his sister that when he spoke to her, it was as if he were speaking with Tsutako, and his words came easier, more real. Her death shattered something inside him, something that she had been helping Giyuu rebuild. Being around her sister only made him miss Kanae more, though he would never judge Kocho for how she coped; he felt that would make him a hypocrite. And he respected Shinobu a lot, but her need to poke and prod him with her teasing made it difficult not to be annoyed with her, and he found it easier to stay silent.
(Especially when sometimes the words she hurled at him were laced with real venom, and a steely look entered her eyes.)
Rengoku was bright. And loud. But he was earnest. He reminded Giyuu so much of Sabito that he both wanted to be closer to him and stay far away. But he was kind to him. With no ulterior motive, because that was the kind of person the Flame Hashira was. He also didn’t mind that Giyuu didn’t talk much.
Shinazugawa hated him. Plain and simple. Giyuu had no idea what he did that inspired such hatred (for even knowing he was a false Hashira shouldn’t generate that much animosity), but the Wind Pillar despised him and made no secret of this fact. The feeling wasn’t mutual, not completely, because there was a small part of Giyuu’s mind that replaced Shinazugawa’s face with those of his village whenever he started a tirade aimed in his direction, but Giyuu still respected him. Though there was no way he’d try to talk to him again, the first time was awful and had Giyuu struggling to breathe around a knot in his throat.
And Iguro didn’t like him either. It wasn’t as intense as Shinazugawa’s resentment, but the Serpent Hashira was no fan of his. And at first, it had upset Giyuu. Before the meeting where Iguro had been introduced started, Giyuu had been speaking with Rengoku (well, more like the other man was speaking to him with minimal responses from Giyuu). Talking to the Flame Hashira had been calming, and when Oyakata-sama introduced Iguro as the Serpent Hashira, there hadn’t been the usual pit in his stomach when he waited for his chance to introduce himself to him.
But Shinazugawa had gotten to him first, and by the time Giyuu had approached the two of them, the Wind Hashira was whispering something into Iguro’s ear, and the heterochromic gaze that met him was frosty, unwelcoming. The words had died in his throat, his chest tightened, and Giyuu ended up walking past them without saying a single word, which somehow angered them both even more.
So, yes, he wasn’t good with people, and if most of his own colleagues couldn’t understand him, weren’t willing to try, how could anyone else?
That’s what he had thought, anyway.
But apparently, children were different.
He didn't know how or why, but the children Giyuu encountered over the years seemed to like him and didn’t mind that he was a man of few words.
He first noticed this on his first mission after Oyakata-sama appointed him as the temporary Water Hashira. The village closest to the Water Estate had come under attack from a demon, not quite as strong as a Lower Moon, but far from weak.
It had already eaten two people and carried off their child by the time Giyuu got there. The people of the village were hysterical after seeing a monster devour two people in front of them, but Giyuu managed to get the information he needed to go after the demon. He caught up to it just in time to stop it from eating the child and wasted no time decapitating it.
The little girl had been crying her eyes out. She was only two years old and had already lost her parents. Thankfully, Giyuu had managed to calm her down. “You are safe,” he remembered saying to her when her cries dwindled down into silent tears after he had carefully scooped her up into his arms. The words had felt clumsy in his mouth, but he tried to soothe her anyway, recalling how Tsutako had calmed him whenever he had been upset. “I have you now. It can’t get you again.”
It took nearly two hours to convince the little girl to let him go when they returned to a tearfully grateful village, and even longer for her not to cry when Giyuu had to leave. And after that, Giyuu started noticing it more and more.
Whenever he had missions that involved children, they always wanted to stay close to Giyuu for some reason. The ones that survived anyway.
Giyuu didn’t understand it, even after all these years. Why would little kids want to be around him when even his own teammates were reluctant to be around him? When they swore (Shinazugawa), rolled their eyes (Iguro), or complained (Uzui) when they had to team up for the few missions that required them to do so, while children whined when they needed to be separated from him, cried when he had to leave?
And then, Giyuu met Tokito Muichiro.
-
When Giyuu arrived at the meeting spot, only Himejima, Uzui, and Kocho were there. Earlier, Kanzaburo had practically collapsed on top of his head as he was making his way back to the Water Estate after a mission, shouting about a meeting taking place at Oyakata-sama’s estate, though he didn’t say much more than that. Giyuu hadn’t pushed, though; he knew his companion was doing his best.
“Ah, look who deigned to show up early!” Uzui exclaimed as soon as Giyuu stepped inside the garden they always gathered in. “I’m surprised, I thought you’d wait till the last minute again.”
(There was that look in his eyes again, there and gone faster than Giyuu could blink.)
“Oh?” Kocho’s ever-present smile widened as she looked in Giyuu’s direction. “Are you finally taking things seriously, Tomioka? Did something happen?”
Giyuu didn’t respond to either of them, mostly because he didn’t know how. He did return Himejima’s nod, though.
Kocho’s eye twitched, but before she could say anything, the last three Hashira finally showed up.
“Hah?!” Shinazugawa said, his voice loud and grating, and Giyuu knew instantly his next words would be about him. “Since when does Mr. High-and-Mighty show up on time?!”
See?
Giyuu didn’t react at all to what he said, content with keeping his silence. Though he still didn’t know where Shinazugawa got the impression that Giyuu thought he was better than them. It was obvious he wasn’t like the rest of them, wasn’t it?
Before anyone could say anything else, two voices suddenly chimed from the engawa.
“The Master of the Mansion has arrived.”
Hearing that, it was as if any and all tension fled as the Hashira kneeled, silent as they listened to the sound of Oyakata-sama approaching. And though their heads were bowed in reverence for the moment, they didn’t need their eyes to see the smile he wore on his face, for Oyakata-sama was always happy to see them return alive and well.
“My dearest children,” his calming voice sounded, covering them like a warm blanket. “I am glad your numbers have not dwindled since we last spoke to one another. Truly, I am grateful to have all of you return safely.”
“You flatter us, Oyakata-sama,” Shinazugawa responded in an instant, his voice dropping low as respect colored his tone, vastly different from the anger-filled shouting and growling he was normally prone to. (Honestly, if it weren’t for the Hashira Meetings, Giyuu wouldn’t think it were possible for him to sound any different). “We are merely doing our duty.”
“Even so, I am glad to have you all alive and well,” the Master said serenely, “especially since we have a new Hashira joining us today.”
Giyuu’s head snapped up at that, and he saw that everyone else did too.
A new Hashira?
Oyakata-sama continued speaking, his body angling back a bit as he spoke. “Muichiro-kun, would you please step forward?”
There was the sound of footsteps before a young boy stepped into view. He had dark hair that lightened to a cyan color at the ends, teal eyes, and wore baggy clothing that engulfed his body, making him seem even smaller.
“This is Tokito Muichiro,” the Master smiled, laying a hand on the boy’s shoulder when he drew even with him. “He has shown incredible skill, enough to become our new Mist Hashira. Please welcome him as the newest member of our family.”
“Of course!” Rengoku responded, his usual smile bright as ever. “We are glad to have you with us, Tokito-kun!”
As the others called out similar sentiments, Giyuu remained quiet. He couldn’t help but notice how young their new Hashira was. He looked even younger than Giyuu and Sabito had been when they did their Final Selection.
And look how well that turned out.
And his eyes…they were so vacant, as if there wasn’t a presence behind the gaze. Like the young Hashira was so far away despite being physically present. Actually, the look in the boy’s eyes was similar to what Giyuu saw every time he looked in a mirror.
The thought that Tokito might have gone through something similar to Giyuu at such a young age made a sick feeling rise in his stomach. Unfortunately, in this cruel world, it wasn’t as uncommon as it should have been.
Giyuu learned that a while ago.
-
Two weeks went by before Giyuu saw Tokito again, and the only reason was for a mission. A village has been having its women kidnapped over the past couple of weeks, and a Lower Moon was suspected to be involved after several lower-ranked Corps members were sent to investigate, only to never be heard from again.
When Giyuu met up with him, he was regarded with blank eyes from the Mist Hashira. “Who are you?” he asked, his voice blunt.
Having been informed by Oyakata-sama about the boy’s memory issues, Giyuu didn’t take offense. “Tomioka Giyuu,” he said. “The Water Hashira.”
Tokito let out a ‘hmm’ as he tilted his head, eyes still staring at him. “I’m supposed to meet up with the Water Hashira,” he said.
“That is me,” Giyuu said. “Do you remember what our mission is?”
“You dare question Tokito-sama?!” A screech was heard before a crow with…weirdly-long eyelashes descended onto Tokito’s head. “Of course he knows what the mission is! A swordsman of his caliber would never mishandle something so important; show some respect! He is your superior in more ways than you can count!”
Giyuu stared with dull eyes at the crow whose chest was puffed up in self-importance, before he glanced down at her human perch, who stared back with equally dull eyes.
Right. Okay, then. At least Kanzaburo wasn’t nearby, the old crow could be really protective.
“Let us go,” he said, turning on his heel and heading towards their destination, hearing the young Hashira follow after him. It was probably best that he lead the way, just in case Tokito didn’t remember.
(And even if he did, like hell Giyuu would let a child be first in line for something potentially dangerous. It didn’t matter that Tokito was a member of the Corps who became a Hashira after only two months; if there was a way for Giyuu to protect him, he would.
Even as a false Hashira, he could do that much.)
-
It turned out the demon wasn’t a Lower Moon, but it did have incredible speed and a powerful Blood Demon Art, one that made it difficult to close in and behead it.
Not that the fact slowed either Hashira down in the slightest.
This was also the first time Giyuu saw Tokito in a fight. He really was a talented child, with movements so quick that he seemed to appear out of nowhere at times, his sword slicing through the air with considerable strength. But though he was skilled, Giyuu also noticed that he didn’t seem to care about getting hurt. Which meant that at the end of the fight, Giyuu and one of the women they were able to rescue hardly had anything more than bruises, while Tokito sustained cuts to his face and hands, along with who knew how many more bruises his uniform covered.
It was only after escorting the young woman back to the village and after Giyuu and Tokito were on their way that Giyuu broke the silence that had existed between them since the mission started.
“Tokito-san,” Giyuu said. “We should rest at the Wisteria House we passed on our way here to treat your injuries.”
Tokito merely blinked at him. “But I am fine,” he said flatly.
Giyuu gestured to his hands. “You’re bleeding,” he responded, his tone matter-of-fact. “It would be wise to treat them tonight and then continue traveling in the morning.”
“My injuries don’t bother me.”
“I believe Oyakata-sama would prefer to have us come home safe than with injuries we could’ve taken care of earlier.”
Giyuu knew he was being a massive hypocrite, since he always waited until he was back at the Water Estate to treat his own injuries, and avoided the Butterfly Mansion unless it was a dire injury.
But looking at Tokito now, in his baggy clothes that made him look younger than he was, the faraway look in his eyes, and the smattering of blood on his face and hands, it was as if Giyuu was looking at himself after he lost Sabito.
Back then, he had no one. Sabito was gone, dead in his place, and he couldn’t bring himself to go back to Mount Sagiri and face Urokodaki’s anger and disappointment. He did nothing but train day in and day out, to the point of messing up his hands, straining his muscles, and even throwing up in a few rare cases.
Tokito’s injuries were minor, true. But if Giyuu could do something to help, he wanted to try. Something to erase the beginnings of what looked like the same path Giyuu had walked when he was young.
Bringing up the Master seemed to be the deciding factor in influencing Tokito’s decision, and he didn’t protest when Giyuu started leading them to the Wisteria House.
(Probably a good thing that their crows had already left at this point to deliver their reports to the Master. Giyuu wasn’t in the mood to deal with an overbearing crow.)
When they arrived, they were provided with yukatas to sleep in while their uniforms were washed. Giyuu grabbed the cloth and bowl of warm water that the Lady of the House provided him and sat in front of Tokito.
After dipping the cloth in the water, he began gently cleaning the cuts and the blood on the twelve-year-old’s hands, taking care to make sure there was nothing caught in the wounds. When he was done, Giyuu grabbed the ointment Urokodaki had taught him how to make all those years ago and spread a bit on the cuts before wrapping them.
Giyuu then turned his attention to Tokito’s face, treating the wounds there with the same gentleness and care he had shown his hands. He was so focused on his task that he didn’t notice the wide-eyed stare directed at him, the usual blank look lifting from cyan eyes.
-
The sound of loud knocking startled Giyuu, who knelt in the garden. The Water Estate, one of the five estates that had housed Hashira for generations, had an elaborate garden, with the most prominent feature being a small pond in the center that held koi fish swimming beneath white water lilies, bracketed by two stone lanterns.
Giyuu was just about to feed the koi when he heard the knocking coming from the front gate. He frowned, glancing towards the noise.
It was rare for someone to come to the Water Estate. Giyuu was the only one who lived here, and hardly anyone came looking for him. Kocho did so sometimes, both to bring him medicine and scold him right after Giyuu healed enough to escape the Butterfly Mansion and return home to convalesce in peace, but that was it.
Since it had been months since the last time Giyuu was in Kocho’s tender (strict) care, he hadn’t a clue who it could have been. He started moving towards the gate when the knocking came a second time, and when he opened it, he blinked at the person on the other side.
“Tokito-san,” Giyuu said. “Is there something wrong?”
There was no other reason that Giyuu could think of for the young Hashira to be here otherwise. He and Tokito hadn’t spoken since their joint mission, and if they were being sent on another mission, Kanzaburo would have told him.
Or, the old crow was late again. “Do we have a mission?”
“No,” Tokito said, his voice as blank as it was the last time Giyuu heard it.
“Oh.” There was a slight awkward silence then, since Tokito made no move to say anything else. Giyuu cleared his throat, a bit uncomfortable, and asked, “Was there something you needed?”
Tokito didn’t say anything, but he did hold out his hands. Giyuu frowned, noticing that there were more cuts on them. Looking back at the boy, Giyuu gave him a once-over and realized his uniform was scruffed up, and there was a bruise forming on his face in addition to a bleeding cut on his forehead, almost hidden by his bangs.
“You’re hurt,” Giyuu said, rather inanely, as he gently grabbed Tokito’s hands so he could look them over. It was nothing too bad, nowhere near enough to warrant a visit to the Butterfly Mansion or anyone else. So why was Tokito here?
“You helped me last time,” Tokito said, out of nowhere, “can you do it again?”
He remembered that? It’s been a little over a week since their mission together, but Tokito remembered Giyuu helping him? And…he was asking Giyuu to do it again? Him, of all people? The placeholder, the failure, the imposter, treating the injuries?
But the look in his eyes was different than usual. They were focused this time, staring intently at Giyuu, and though there was little emotion on his face, the tone of voice when he asked for help was earnest.
Giyuu didn’t have the heart to deny him. “Come in.”
It was the least he could do, right?
-
Helping Tokito that day seemed to have started something. Giyuu had brought him around the side of the estate, through the garden, and onto the engawa. He had the young Hashira wait as he went inside to grab the few medical supplies he needed. Neither of them had spoken while Giyuu dressed his wounds, with Giyuu focused on his tasks as Tokito had gazed at the koi fish in the pond.
After Giyuu was done, Tokito made no attempts to leave, and Giyuu hadn’t tried to make him. He just went back to feeding the koi fish and tending the rest of the garden, and felt Tokito’s eyes on him the entire time.
And though the kid had left before the sky could darken, Giyuu had the feeling he would see him again.
And he was right.
It seemed that whenever Tokito was injured, he showed up at the Water Estate. And sometimes, the injuries he had weren’t from a mission, but from accidents, like tripping over a tree root and falling on his face since he was too busy staring at the clouds, or the time he stepped on broken glass he forgot was on the ground from a cup he dropped. And most times, Tokito didn’t leave even after Giyuu helped him, which led to many nights when Giyuu made dinner for the two of them, and Tokito spent the night in one of the many guest rooms.
The amount of time they’ve spent together at the Water Estate (and the one occasion where he went to the Mist Estate after Tokito’s crow came to him, screeching about Tokito being hurt) affected their interactions amidst their fellow Hashira, too.
Giyuu no longer stood alone at the meetings. The first meeting after Tokito came to his house, the young Hashira immediately went to his side when he showed up, to the shock of everyone, Giyuu included. And each meeting after that, Tokito always made sure to stick by Giyuu’s side. Including one memorable meeting when Oyakata-sama was running late due to a health scare, and as they were waiting, Tokito knelt down next to Giyuu, leaned his head on the Water Hashira’s shoulder, and immediately fell asleep.
Shinazugawa’s and Iguro’s eyes had nearly fallen from their skulls with how wide-eyed they stared. Rengoku praised Giyuu for being there for Tokito while Kocho mused aloud about how close they were. Uzui had been oddly quiet as he stared at the two of them, and Himejima had tears streaming down his face as he pressed his hands together.
But honestly, Giyuu was just as shocked as Shinazugawa and Iguro by Tokito’s actions. Giyuu didn’t know how to handle the unspoken trust their youngest member seemed to have for him. For what else could it be that had the twelve-year-old coming to him out of the others?
Kocho was the best among them at treating injuries; she would know more than Giyuu. And if Tokito didn’t want to go to her, Rengoku was earnest in a way Giyuu couldn’t be; he could’ve helped as well.
But no, it was Giyuu who Tokito chose to come to. It was Giyuu who Tokito wanted to treat his wounds. And it was Giyuu’s home that Tokito chose to stay in more often than not, sitting on the engawa with Giyuu to snack on senbei while they drank tea in comfortable silence, watching Giyuu tend to the estate’s garden as he gazed at the clouds, going with him to the village nearest the Water Estate to shop, sitting side by side as they did maintenance on their swords…
Sometimes, Tokito liked to just sit with Giyuu, no matter what the other man was doing, just existing in his space. In a lot of ways, Tokito reminded Giyuu of the children he encountered over the years on his missions, with the way he wanted to remain at Giyuu’s side.
Why would such a bright child become attached to him? Why would any children yearn to be in his presence? Can’t they sense that Giyuu was no good? That Giyuu couldn’t save anyone when it mattered?
Being around Giyuu would only bring misfortune. Couldn’t they sense that?
-
Giyuu sat with his legs folded beneath him as he stared into the pond in the garden. It was night out, and the only light came from the moon above him and the two lanterns placed on opposite sides of the water fixture.
The white lily petals resting atop the water seemed to attract the moonlight, making them glow luminously. The moonlight also reflected off the scales of the koi swimming below, creating brief flashes that appeared and disappeared in a way that was almost hypnotic.
As one of the rare nights Giyuu didn’t have patrol, he was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room, but of course, things didn’t go his way. A nightmare ripped him from sleep, one with Tsutako and Sabito and screaming and blood.
So. Much. Blood.
There was no way he was going back to sleep after that, so he came outside to the garden to try to settle his nerves. The sound of the water, the smell of the plants throughout the garden, plus the scent of wisteria from the incense Giyuu always made sure was lit at night, slowly lulled him into a state of calm.
The sound of a sliding door came from behind him, followed by the sound of footsteps heading toward where he sat. Remembering that Tokito was spending the night at the Water Estate again, Giyuu didn’t flinch when a body sat next to him, leaning against his side. The two of them gazed at the water for a while, watching as the fish swam in and out of view, as the water lilies bobbed and floated with the motions of the water.
“Are you not tired?” Giyuu asked after a moment.
Tokito leaned against his shoulder and shut his eyes. “Nightmare.”
“Ah.” Giyuu was well aware of the kid’s nightmares. Hard to forget the screams that wrenched Giyuu from sleep the first time Tokito slept over. He got them almost as much as Giyuu did, but unlike the Water Hashira, Tokito couldn’t remember what he dreamed. “Are you alright?”
“Hm.” Tokito sounded sleepy as he snuggled closer to Giyuu’s side.
His thoughts from the past few months floated to the forefront of his mind at the twelve-year-old’s actions, and he couldn’t keep quiet anymore. He had to know. “Tokito-san?”
“Hm?” The Mist Hashira sounded like he was on the verge of falling back asleep. Normally, Giyuu would’ve kept quiet after realizing that, but his need to understand was too strong.
“Why…” his mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled with what words would accurately state what was on his mind. “Why do you keep coming here?”
Giyuu felt the boy tense before he lifted his head from his shoulder. He felt Tokito staring at him, but he kept his eyes on the pond in front of him.
“Do you want me to leave?” Tokito’s voice was bland, no emotion behind the words, and yet Giyuu still got the feeling he accidentally hurt him.
Giyuu turned to face him, meeting his eyes to convey his sincerity. “No.”
Despite thinking it would’ve been better for Tokito to stay away, he’d gotten used to the young Hashira’s presence in the estate, and the thought of him leaving, of both of them returning to the routines they had before Tokito first started coming to him, left a sour taste in his mouth.
“I just want to know…why?”
Tokito continued to stare at him, his eyes clear of the usual mist that clouded his gaze. After a moment, he finally said, “You feel safe.”
Giyuu’s eyes widened at those words. Him? Safe?
Undeterred by his reaction, Tokito continued. “I feel safe when I’m around you,” he said, as if it were a simple concept. “And you take care of me and don’t tell me to go away. You’re kind to me.” He tilted his head. “If I were in trouble, you’d protect me, right?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Giyuu’s response.
“See? You’re safe.” Tokito shrugged and then returned his head to Giyuu’s shoulder. “I like feeling safe.”
Giyuu felt his throat close, and his eyes burn.
Well, he wanted to know, and now he knew. Was what Tokito said the same for those kids? Did Giyuu help them feel safe? Was that why they wanted to stick close to him when he was around? But…Giyuu was a failure. How could he make them feel safe?
“Your name is Tomioka Giyuu, right?” Tokito asked after a while, still awake.
Giyuu was confused, but answered anyway. “Yes.” Besides, at least the kid remembered his name instead of ‘Decorative Ornament.’
“Can I call you Giyuu? You feel more like Giyuu than Tomioka.”
A warm feeling grew in his chest, far differently than the anxiety that had been his constant companion since he was a child. “That’s fine.”
“Okay.” A pause. “Giyuu?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t want you to call me Tokito anymore.”
“Ah…alright, Muichiro-san.”
Toki- Muichiro still had his head resting against Giyuu’s shoulder, but the bright smile on his face was unmistakable.