Work Text:
Look, Harris Drover loves his job. He really does. He is lucky to do what he loves while getting to stare at hot sweaty men all day. He’s been promoted to Senior Director of Communications. And he found his boyfriend, the love of his life, thanks to the Centaurs.
He knows he is the luckiest.
But—there are some days where his job is hard. When the team has a terrible game and the comments are filled with hate and complaints. When surprising trade news breaks. Scandals of any sort.
Mostly, these days involve something Ilya Rozanov did. Or something Ilya Rozanov said.
Actually, these days almost exclusively involve Ilya Rozanov one way or another.
He loves Ilya. He has been a great friend and captain. They had been worried, when he first came to Ottawa, that he would live up to his reputation for being a dick. But they quickly discovered that Ilya was kind and fun and genuine…and fucking messy.
Now that he and Shane have no reason to hide, Ilya takes that a little too literally. He’s almost always posting something chaotic about their relationship, and Harris’ protests fall on deaf ears—“Ilya, please behave yourself!” “Sorry, Harris.” “Don’t apologize, Shane! I am allowed to show you off, I have rights!”
This time, though, Harris has to give it to him: he doesn’t start it. In fact, the situation at hand this time—the one Harris is responsible for handling in his role leading crisis communications, even though he wished he wasn't—didn't seem like that big a deal at first.
It started with a simple enough tweet:
seth @hockeygays_ • 3 days ago
i can’t believe it’s 2023 and we still don’t know how Hollanov started dating !!
23 replies 2,3k retweets 11,2k likes
It got attention, but it quickly died down. Versions of these tweets had been trending ever since Shane and Ilya were outed.
It was normal for people to be curious. Harris remembers being a teenager on Tumblr, practically a baby gay, obsessed with famous people, speculating about their lives and dating history. If there had been two openly gay players married to each other at that time, it would have been his entire personality. He would have spent every waking moment trying to piece together the timelines.
But since the fans didn't have much to hold on to, except an exceptionally good kiss from Hayden's fanmail, there was nothing new for fans to latch onto.
At least until—
Tony Robertson @tonyrobertson 🔁 seth @hockeygays_ • 2 days ago
I know how Hollanov met! 🧵
First of all, I would like to clarify that I used to work as a janitor in Boston.
Once, after a Montreal-Boston match, I saw J.J. Boiziau entering a bathroom in the arena, giggling and tipsy. He had a Sharpie. Later, I found a number written on the door. The message said something along the lines of “I am a gay hockey player, text me”.
I went to find something to clean it. But when I came back, the number was crossed out. And I saw Ilya Rozanov leaving said bathroom, phone in hand.
Luckily, I had saved the number, and a week later, I gained the courage to call it. Imagine my surprise when the person who picked up was none other than Shane Hollander.
So I am 90% sure that’s how Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov started dating.
I am posting a picture of me in my uniform to show I’m not lying.
23 replies 2.3k retweets 11.2k likes
↪george @rozanovswiftie • 2 days ago
sorry, you are trying to convince me that 2016 Ilya Rozanov, who had fucked half the country and could have anyone he wanted, needed to text a random number from a bathroom stall to get laid?? LMAO
↪cara @eicshollanov • 2 days ago
if this is true, it's private and theirs to share. fuck brad and fuck tony
↪male @malehollander • 2 days ago
this is written so weird lol and “he had a sharpie” “i saw ilya leaving said bathroom” ?? this is all circumstantial evidence AT BEST
It was bad, yes. But manageable bad.
The most fervent and dedicated fans lost their minds over it and a few sites picked it up but no serious media was going to talk about internet rumours without proof.
Unless...
Two days later, the comments happen.
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 15 hours ago
this is all true👍
102 replies 9.3k retweets 40k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 15 hours ago
except i suspected it was shane and i had been trying to get his attention since before
234 replies 9.2k retweets 54k likes
All hell breaks loose.
Harris’ phone hasn't stopped ringing all day. His hair is a mess from tugging on it all day. Troy was throwing him concerned glances, until he decided to work at his office. Twitter is in shambles.
Let’s just say, he doesn’t envy the poor soul who has his old job.
bel @stylesrozanov • 14 hours ago
so…let me get this right: peak womanizer ilya rozanov found a number and an invitation for gay sex with another player and said BET
40 replies 2.2k retweets 15k likes
↪lula @shaneluv • 14 hours ago
i mean when you put it like that… yes, i can see it😂
sara @hollanovjpg • 14 hours ago
not hollanov getting outed a second time 😭😭 someone protect them
34 replies 1.9k retweets 12k likes
↪oli @centaursgays • 14 hours ago
witches in the fandom PLEASE initiate emergency cleansing rituals. we need a protection spell on hollanov asap
↪↪𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖆𝖛 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍 @bruja_magic • 14 hours ago
On it!
rosie @lesbians4shane • 14 hours ago
oh look i'm shane hollander! baddest bitch in the NHL and my best friend left my number for russian hottie ilya rozanov to find, only for him to already be obsessed with me! girl FUCK YOU
98 replies 4.5k retweets 28k likes
cami @shanebug • 14 hours ago
I was climbing a mountain, and I asked the guide how close we were to the top. He responded, "hollanov dating revealed" I smiled, because at that moment I knew. I was at the PEAK.
11 replies 1.5k retweets 11k likes
derek @rozy8124 • 14 hours ago
not hollanov practically admitting they met cruising💀💀
23 replies 456 retweets 3.4k likes
↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 14 hours ago
What is cruising? You mean like driving around?
↪↪derek @rozy8124 • 14 hours ago
sure! let's go with that
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 14 hours ago
i caught shane looking up ‘cruising’ on urban dictionary. you should have seen his face😂
342 replies 7.7k retweets 125k likes
↪Rose Landry✅ @roselandry • 14 hours ago
lmaoo i would pay to see that
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 14 hours ago
that can be arranged…i took a photo😝
↪Rose Landry✅ @roselandry • 14 hours ago
name your price rozanov
↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 14 hours ago
I hate both of you.
paz @hollanov4ever • 14 hours ago
wdym hollanov got together bc jj wrote shane’s number in the bathroom stall? last time i did that it was a pseudoreligious self-help cult trying to recruit people
154 replies 1.3k retweets 23.7k likes
↪nae @lvshollander • 14 hours ago
girl……
↪haley @snoopyshane • 14 hours ago
i just got a dick pick
↪↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 14 hours ago
me too
↪↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 14 hours ago
ILYA
↪↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 14 hours ago
I would like to clarify that’s not true. At all.
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
2.9k replies 73.8k retweets 243k likes
↪nana @hollanovers • 13 hours ago
so…how much of the info we have is true????
↪↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
you'll never know🤭
Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 13 hours ago
I would like to clarify that my husband and I may have gotten each other’s contact information due to a friend sharing my number in a public space, but we did not begin our relationship through illicit arena bathroom activities.
Though I recognize the circumstances sound deeply incriminating, this was not an anonymous bathroom hookup situation. We did not meet cruising, soliciting strangers, or engaging in anonymous hookups in arena bathrooms.
Thank you.
3.9k replies 52k retweets 543k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
Hi Yuna!
↪let’s go centaurs! @centaurshollanov • 13 hours ago
i mean, to be fair, jj writing ‘text me’ is in fact soliciting strangers lmaoo
jax @huntersunshine • 13 hours ago
not to be that friend that's too woke but jj’s actions were reckless and incredibly dangerous for the gay community. we need to talk about what this precedent means for queer athletes going forward, and he needs to be held accountable
178 replies 893 retweets 4.8k likes
↪piper @boiziauking • 13 hours ago
↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 13 hours ago
I understand the concern but JJ is my friend. While I don’t agree with his approach to finding me a partner, he meant no harm and was simply trying to be supportive.
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
jj might be an idiot but thanks to him i have the love of my life so it's ok
abi @rozanov90s • 13 hours ago
Ok but can someone explain to me what Ilya meant by “i had been trying to get his attention since before”??
12 replies 212 retweets 2k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
Harris says I am not allowed to discuss any of this anymore!
↪↪abi @rozanov90s • 13 hours ago
@harrisdrover #freeilya
[ Sports • Trending now ]
• #freeilya
amber @ilyaswife • 13 hours ago
#freeilya
21 replies 1.3k retweets 7k likes
ella²⁴ @hollanlove24 • 13 hours ago
ilya rozanov you have to stop. your husband's too pretty… your whimsy too strong...your swag too different… your ass too fat… they'll kill you #freeilya
55 replies 2.3k retweets 9k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
IJBOL
↪Scott Hunter✅ @scotthunterofficial • 13 hours ago
What is ijbol?
↪Kip @kip_grady • 13 hours ago
i just burst out laughing
↪Scott Hunter✅ @scotthunterofficial • 13 hours ago
…I’m too old for this shit
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
you finally admit it!
↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 13 hours ago
Ilya—
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 13 hours ago
sorry moya lyubov😔
↪ella²⁴ @hollanlove24 • 13 hours ago
walk ‘em like a dog
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 9 hours ago
real texts between shane and me
343 replies 47k retweets 126k likes
↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 9 hours ago
You are sleeping on the couch tonight.
↪↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 9 hours ago
yes baby keep talking dirty to me
↪↪↪Harris🍎 @harrisdrover • 9 hours ago
Why do you make my life so much harder?
cooper @hollanovtifosi • 6 hours ago
shane @ ilya probably
8 replies 25 retweets 989 likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 6 hours ago
Yes.
vivi⁸¹²⁴ @hollanov_8124 • 6 hours ago
Hear me out: I think Ilya had a crush on Shane before the whole JJ thing, but he couldn’t find a way to approach him without Shane panicking. So when he realized the number in that bathroom stall was Shane’s, he saw an opportunity to text him without either of them knowing who the other was and the pressure that came with years of rivalry.
53 replies 2k retweets 15k likes
↪Bel @bellanov_ • 6 hours ago
nurse she's out again!
↪lou @centaurs4ever • 6 hours ago
not my mutual writing hollanov fanfic in main
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 6 hours ago
born too late to see dinosaurs and scott hunter be born, too early to see flying cars, but just in time to see user @hollanov_8124 correctly figure this out
↪↪Harris🍎 @harrisdrover • 6 hours ago
Ilya, i asked you to stop speaking about it! This counts as speaking about it. You know that, right? It’s important to me that you know that
olivia lvs jj @montrealboiziau • 5 hours ago
ok but what the public really wants to know is what did jj write
53 replies 2.9k retweets 21k likes
↪J.J. Boiziau✅ @jjboiziau • 5 hours ago
the public doesn't want to know that, trust me.
↪↪olivia lvs jj @montrealboiziau • 5 hours ago
oh trust me, yes we do
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 5 hours ago
‘I’m a good looking gay hockey player, text me for a good time ;)’
↪↪alice @pikeboiziau_ • 5 hours ago
THAT WAS SO MUCH WORST THAN WHAT I WAS IMAGING ANFKSKDKFKDK
↪↪lila @montreallll_ • 5 hours ago
how jj felt writing that:
↪↪lucas @sweetfairy24 • 5 hours ago
straightest man message ever i can't believe ilya texted at all
↪↪↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 5 hours ago
have you seen shane hollander?
↪↪↪↪lucas @sweetfairy24 • 5 hours ago
…touche
jorr @showgirlhollanov • 4 hours ago
ilya saw this and said i have to lock this down asap
13 replies 1.1k retweets 6k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 4 hours ago
Delete that
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 4 hours ago
Hello army delete that💜
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 4 hours ago
Can you see me army ? I’m an army too delete that 💜
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 4 hours ago
Army? Delete 💜
fati @legendhollander • 4 hours ago
tbh very valid reaction from my good friend ilya rozanov i too would pin after this man for years
11 replies 1k retweets 5.4k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 4 hours ago
delete, a lot of people are asking you to delete, its triggering for so many people, there are people that faint and feel sick, please im begging you to delete it, delete post right now, its forbidden and iIIegal in many countries to post something like that, people are crying
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 3 hours ago
don't sexualize shane. if he hip thrusts, close your eyes. if he makes your pussy wet, wipe it dry. don't treat him as a grown ass man, keep babying him. he doesn’t understand anything, he has never watched porn, and has never orgasmed.
598 replies 32k retweets 88k likes
↪mary @hollanderletters • 3 hours ago
how tf does he know this copypasta????
↪↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 3 hours ago
emma @shaneflowers • 2 hours ago
you know what? it's impressive how unscathed Hayden emerged from this whole situation
72 replies 2.5k retweets 18k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 2 hours ago
u are right i am forgetting my roots
⋆ 𐙚 ̊.✅@mermaidgold • 2 hours ago
DELETE ONE FOREVER
2.9k replies 9k retweets 4.5k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 2 hours ago
that's so hard…hayden pike
↪↪Hayden Pike✅ @haydenpike • 2 hours ago
???
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 2 hours ago
fun hockey fact of the day: hayden pike has more kids than goals
145 replies 2.2k retweets 19k likes
↪↪Hayden Pike✅ @haydenpike • 2 hours ago
Troy Barrett✅ @troybarrettofficial • 1 hour ago
@ilyarozanov please stop, you are stressing out my boyfriend
98 replies 25k retweets 86k likes
↪titi @titilvsbarrett • 1 hour ago
not troy logging into this acc after years just to defend harris🥺🥺
↪joe @hockeyboy_ • 1 hour ago
there are people tweeting who have never tweeted before
↪milu ♡’s troy @troylovely • 1 hour ago
troy:
↪Harris🍎 @harrisdrover • 1 hour ago
ty sweetheart♥️
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 1 hour ago
↪↪Troy Barrett✅ @troybarrettofficial • 1 hours ago
You are exhausting
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 30 minutes ago
everyone is against me😔should i kill myself on instagram live or tiktok live?
142 replies 1.1k retweets 17.5k likes
↪Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 22 minutes ago
If you stop, I will cook you chicken parmesan
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 20 minutes ago
you drive a hard bargain…ok i accept
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 15 minutes ago
this is my official apology to my friend harris drover! i have grown quite fond of you something something about picking apples in papas orchard or whatever
now i am logging off and having dinner with my beautiful husband, goodnight ))
463 replies 6.1k retweets 55.5k likes
Shane Hollander✅ @shanehollanderofficial • 10 minutes ago
Forever thankful you texted that (not so) random number. I love you! @ilyarozanov
445 replies 25k retweets 443k likes
↪Ilya Rozanov-Hollander✅ @ilyarozanov • 10 minutes ago
I love you too♥️
Troy
Shane just texted
He took Ilya’s phone
So he won’t be tweeting anymore
Harris
THANK GOD
Troy
Now please come back home?
I want to cuddle and watch TV
Harris
On my way<3