Work Text:
>day 19
>boss comes in and says we have a new assignment
>we're going to assassinate the president of Russia
>"Anon can you hack her and find us a way in?"
>shit
>google "President of Russia schedule" while wearing my serious face
>"hmm ... says here she'll be inspecting the Bore munitions factory tomorrow."
>she looks at me
>"Very well."
>time to google where the Bore factory is
***
>day 20
>attacking the Bore munitions factory
>turns out it's a hardened military facility filled with guards
>oops
>everything about it is classified but I can see the rough layout on Google Maps
>boss tells me to make sure the target is here
>"oh, she's here all right"
>military killing machines start sneaking in, killing guards as they go
>doing pointless backflips and shit
>I'm just wandering in the front door hiding behind a hologram
>hope nobody spots me on the security camera
>wander over to a console some guy was using
>thank god they're already logged in
>check the security camera and my teammates are totally obvious but I guess the security guy is on a coffee break
>suddenly I hear a voice on the comm
>"Anon. The door."
>Murderface is standing in front of a door surrounded by bodies
>suddenly realize he has no idea how to open it
>neither do I
>press buttons until the door moves but it only opens a crack
>"Anon..."
>play it off as a joke
>suddenly realize the button is a slider and I need to move it to the top to open the door
>I open it bit to make it look like I'm playing with him
>he uses his crazy nanotech enhancements to slide through the door before it's even open
>he could clearly have done that at any time
>I guess he was too lazy
***
>my one job accomplished, I start flicking through security feeds
>I figure killface will go kill the president and we'll be on our way
>mfw I see the room he's in
>it's full of turrets covering every angle
>he could easily have been killed the instant I opened that stupid door but wasn't for some reason
>guess the turrets don't recognize him as human
>tell him I've hacked the turrets
>boss lady starts bitching about how long she'll have to wait in the snow with her sniper rifle
>bitch it's not my fault you wore a backless bodysuit
>we're attacking Russia in the winter wear a coat
***
>suddenly the president walks right by my console
>"Incoming, uh, right now."
>president starts giving a speech about how great their weapons are and stuff
>one of them is pointing a gun right at her face
>powering it up
>no idea why though. I didn't hack it. maybe he's murdering the president too
>start poking around, see the files on the mechs. Maybe I *can* control them?
>mfw just a bunch of political BS about how nobody can know they got this tech from a spy with the enemy or whatever
>download it anyway
>DOOT DOOT DOOT
>Unauthorized access alarm
>oh shit oh shit
>sniper takes that as her cue to attack and starts firing wildly
>Guncrotch Mc Bulletmash takes that as his cue to attack and starts firing wildly
>huge mech battle erupts between bulletface and the mech suit
>president sheparded into the lift by guards
>I'm cowering in the corner as bullets fly everywhere
>mech is kicking gunmouth's ass
>"Anon I'm cut off! You must kill the President"
>I'm in the same fucking room as you
>whatever
>"Uh ... sure! She's getting away!"
>go find an elevator so I can follow her.
>put on a cool circuit board hologram of what I imagine hacking looks like
>if doompants looks at me I'll look cool
>he doesn't
***
>elevator is attached to the wrong gantry
>gotta jump over to where she is
>just barely make it and pull myself up. Pretty proud I chased down the target where deathkiller failed
>everyone stares at me
>guards run over
>maybe the glowing hacking circuitry was a mistake
>shit shit guards! I throw a teleport grenade at them
>NOTHING HAPPENS
>must have configured it wrong
>guards literally burst out laughing
>fuckers
>while they're laughing I draw my pistol and shoot them
>who's laughing now
***
>suddenly the mech shoots a giant laser at me from below
>guess murderface wasn't doing a great job keeping it busy
>cuts right through the gantry
>falling
>circuit hologram is still projecting on everything I pass
>manage to land on another mech, it's moving to grab me or something
>manage to jump off
>GUARDS
>EVERYWHERE
>turn on my invisibility and hide in the corner
>they leave
***
>sneak upstairs
>president is going into a room!
>follow her
>maybe I can complete the mission after all
>I'm in her room hidden in the corner
>try to shoot the guard
>I'm out of fucking bullets
>I guess I used the whole clip shooting those guys from earlier
>fuck
>sneak over to one of the guards and try to steal his pistol
>hologram disintegrates
>Everyone kind of freezes for a moment
>I grab his gun and shoot guard #2
>guard #1 grabs it back but I manage to pull the trigger and shoot him while we're wrestling
>hold down the trigger and it stops firing
>out of ammo
>these things use up ammo fast
>he must have spares somewhere but I have no idea where he'd keep them
>honestly I have no idea how to reload a gun
***
>pointing my gun at the President of Russia
>my empty gun
>start bullshitting like crazy
>"I'm not gonna kill you lol I'm the one who set off the alarm"
>"what would happen if the people of Russia found out their defender against the Omnics ... was actually getting her tech from the enemy?"
>pull up the video from earlier
>she buys it
>"what do you want?"
>fuck
>what do I want?
>just vaguely imply she'd better do me a favour in the future
***
>looking at my screen I notice the teleportation grenade from earlier
>I forgot to hit the "on" key
>motherfucker
>guards suddenly start prying the blast door open
>"I'll ... uh ... be in touch."
>teleport away
>tell the boss I chased her but she got away
>I'll just have to hope the President doesn't tell anybody I "blackmailed" her into nothing