Archive of Our Own

Eddie’s head hurts like hell.

He opens up his eyes in a startle, just to find himself in what seems to be a hospital bed. Frowning, Eddie takes a look around. There’s no one in the room, but he glances at his bedside table and finds a lot of stuff. Balloons, letters, stuffed animals, and a few kids’ drawings.

He smiles, despite himself. Sophia stopped drawing on the walls a few years ago, but her artistic nature keeps showing up in different forms.

Speaking of, oh God. His parents are going to kill him if he hurt himself during baseball practice, again.

Where are they, anyways?

And where’s his abuela? She should be right by his side, fuzzing at him.

Eddie tries to look for his phone, except he can’t find it. Ugh. A flare of pain shoots through his head, and he groans loudly. Fuck. That hurts. What the hell happened to him?

Suddenly, the cold lights are starting to make him dizzy. As he raises his hands to cover his eyes, he pauses, shocked. His arms are quite big, he’s pretty sure he wasn’t that ripped yesterday, he’s way more tanned, too, and, oh, is that a tattoo on his forearm?

No, no, no.

His dad is definitely killing him, and his mom is totally praying his sins away… Maybe his dad did kill him already. Maybe this is heaven. Or hell. Maybe his mother didn’t pray hard enough.

He will have to live with his abuela from now on, and to be fair it doesn’t sound half bad, she’s the best…

In the middle of his spiral, the door opens quietly. He holds his breath, and widens his eyes at seeing a woman dressed in plain clothes. Eddie has never seen her before in his life, he starts to panic immediately.

“Oh, Eddie! You’re awake!” she exclaims, excitedly. “Thank God. How are you feeling?”

He opens up his mouth to say something, ask her how does she know his name, what is she doing here, where is he, anything, but he can’t manage to let out any words, his throat too dry.

She widens his eyes, reaching the bed quickly, “Here,” the woman offers, holding a glass of water in front of him.

He pauses, stares at her with suspiciousness, but accepts it, drinking quickly through the straw.

“Want some more?” she asks, not unkindly.

Eddie shakes his head, “Who are you?” he croaks, afraid of the answer.

The woman seems to pale, “Uh— Eddie?” she starts, seeming unsure.

“Who are you?” he repeats, “Where are my parents? My abuela?

“Your parents,” she echoes, trails off, “Eddie, do you know what year it is?”

He scoffs, “Of course I do. It’s 2009.”

“Okay,” she agrees, “And, um, our president?”

“Obama.”

“Oh. Right. I’m gonna—I’m gonna get a doctor to come in and check on you, okay? You’ve been in an accident,” she explains, soothingly, “You’re gonna be fine. Just stay here.”

Eddie wants to know what happened in the accident. He doesn’t remember anything about it. Before the woman leaves through the door, he speaks, “Wait. You never told me… Who are you?”

She smiles at him, warmly, and Eddie frowns. “I’m Maddie,” she offers, “I’ll be right back.”

Just like that, the woman—Maddie, leaves.

Eddie has never met a Maddie in his life.

Dr. Jensen comes a few minutes later. She explains to him what Maddie told him already, that he’s been in an accident. Except, she adds that Eddie is apparently missing a few years from his life. It’s most certainly just temporary amnesia, she assures, but still, they have to run some tests.

Dr. Jensen also informs him that he’s a firefighter, and he got injured on the job during a call, except, she doesn’t explain much about it.

It’s 2026. He frowns at his hands, confused-- overwhelmed. He recalls doing his math homework yesterday, and now, just like that, it’s been years? Worse, it’s been almost two decades.

Seventeen years.

Eddie was seventeen years old a few hours ago. Apparently, he’s thirty-four now. It doesn’t make any sense.

Maddie doesn’t come back for more than a few minutes to smile encouragingly at him, telling him he’ll get better in no time. She also speaks outside with the doctor, gesturing with her hands, her voice sounding worried. Eddie catches something about… A buck?

Eddie raises his eyebrows, feeling something inside his chest, like it’s trying to claw its way out. He tries to hear more, but the only other word he catches is kids.

Huh. 

He has so many questions, and Maddie seems to be leaving in a rush, phone in her ear.

After a while, the medicine starts to kick in, and Eddie feels himself slowly getting to fall asleep. He’ll figure this out later, when he wakes up.

At some point, Eddie dreams about someone holding his hand. He even feels the weight of it. It’s warm, and big.

Huh.

Eddie wakes up again. This time, he finds a man sitting in a chair next to his bed, the position he’s in seems uncomfortable, Eddie doesn’t know him, either. 

The man beams at him, “Hey, Eddie! Glad you’re up.”

Eddie narrows his eyes, “Who are you?”

He’s met with a wince, “Uh, Maddie told me— but I didn’t…”

“Who are you?” he repeats, starting to get annoyed. Why can’t these people reply to a single question?

“I’m Chim. Your coworker. And friend.”

Eddie pauses, “Firefighter?” he asks.

“Yeah, well, I’m actually a paramedic, but yeah,” Chim nods.

Eddie stares at him. He can’t help but ask, “Maddie. Is she my…” he trails off. He didn’t feel anything for her as he saw her, that’s the thing. If they were together, he would feel something, anything.

To be fair, doesn’t feel much about girls, Eddie has been realizing lately. His friends all talk about them, and Eddie just nods, not understanding it at all.

He doesn’t think he likes girls, not really.

Chim’s eyes widen, “Oh, no, no. She’s your friend, too, and my wife.”

Exhaling a relieved breath, Eddie nods, “Okay. That’s-- that’s good.”

“She’s practically family to you, with her being the sister of—” Chim stops himself suddenly, closing his mouth.

“Of who?” Eddie inquires, curious.

“Uh, I’ll explain later,” Chim offers, noncommittally. “How are you feeling?”

“Old,” Eddie says, sulking a little.

In his dreams, Eddie keeps feeling that hand holding his own.

Next time he wakes up, there’s another man sitting on the chair. As Eddie glances at him, his heart starts to do stupid jumps inside his chest.

He knows this one. He thinks he’ll know him even with his eyes closed. Eddie loves him, he has a name floating around in his mind, but he can’t quite catch it. 

“Eddie?” the man whispers, surprised. His eyes are ridiculously blue, and his birthmark so, so pink.

Eddie smiles warmly, trying to fight the urge to reach for his hand. He lets out a relieved breath, “Hey,” he says, like a dumb idiot.

“You—You know who I am?”

“No, I—” he starts, and the man’s face falls a little, Eddie gets a ping of disappointment in himself. “I’m trying, I…” he closes his eyes, feeling his eyes prickling. Then, out of a sudden, something lights up. “Buck,” he breathes, shakily. That’s his Buck.

Buck’s eyes widen comically, he seems like he’s about to cry. Eddie feels warm all over. “Yeah, that’s right,” he whispers. “You-- you remember anything else?”

“My math homework,” Eddie offers, huffing. “I don’t—I don’t really remember anything recent. But you, your name… I know you.”

I don’t think I’m capable of ever forgetting about you, Eddie thinks to himself.

Buck pauses for a moment, seeming emotional. “That’s good, that’s—Yeah.” he says eventually, nodding, “Dr. Jensen said there’s high chances of this being temporary, and your memories should start to come slowly within the next hours or days. She said it might be good to reply to any questions you have about your life, as long as you don’t get too overwhelmed,” he adds, all in one go. 

Eddie nods back. Ridiculously, he just wants Buck to keep talking. It is nice hearing him. “Are you a firefighter, too?”

Buck smiles, and holy mother of God, it’s so pretty, all bright and boyish. “Yeah, I started at our firehouse about six months before you did.”

“Oh, did we meet there?” Eddie asks, curiously. He wants to know everything. 

“We did,” Buck confirms, nodding, “I—, uh, I was kind of an asshole with you at first,” he confesses.

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “Still, we ended up real close, didn’t we?” he asks, and suddenly, Buck saying something like that to someone flashes in his mind.

“Of course we did,” Buck says, then glances at him up and down, “Hey, does anything hurt?”

Eddie feels himself flushing, “No,” he says, “My head was hurting pretty bad when I woke up, but it’s all good now.”

“Oh, I wanted to be here when you woke up, but I had to stay with the—” Buck pauses, shakes his head, “Stuff. Had to do stuff. Work. You know? Uh, still, I’m glad Maddie was here. She’s my sister, by the way.”

Eddie nods, so that’s why Chim said she’s like family to Eddie. Of course she’s Buck’s sister. Everything is starting to make sense.

“Did you ever bring a small dog to the firehouse?” Eddie asks, suddenly recalling that. For some unknown reason, he remembers being jealous, too.

“I did,” Buck says, smiling. He seems pleased at Eddie remembering more stuff. “He was such a good boy.”

Eddie grunts. “Okay. Do we have some… Pet? Or enemy? Called Hildy?”

Suddenly, Buck lets out a little huffy laugh. Eddie wants to record it. “Um, no, Hildy’s your smart coffeemaker.”

“Okay…” he looks at his hands, trying so hard to catch the thing floating around in his mind. He knows it’s important.

“Anything else you’re recalling?”

“Boys,” Eddie blurts out. “I can’t—the details are fuzzy,” he explains, getting a little frustrated, “But there’s… I just know there’s boys. Maybe two of them?” he asks, then nods to himself, “Yes. There’s two.”

One is older, tall, he almost reaches Eddie now, and that makes him want to cry. The other is as small as a mouse, he fits perfectly into Eddie’s chest.

Buck opens up his mouth, then closes it again. Almost as if prompted, his big cellphone pings. The lock-screen lights up. He doesn’t hide it fast enough. That’s it. Eddie’s heart jumps inside his chest again.

“Are those… Are those our kids?” Eddie asks after he glances at the photo, his voice small.

Buck freezes, “I—”

“They look just like you, how did—”

“Eddie,” Buck seems to manage, “We’re not…”

“I love them both,” Eddie says, nodding to himself, “I know that, just like I know that I—”

Suddenly, there’s loud crying and screaming outside. It’s unmistakably coming from a child, and it sounds eerily familiar.

“Eddie, Eddie, I want to— I want my Eddie! Where’s—” the child wails, and Eddie jumps in his place, sitting straight on the bed, ready to bolt outside.

Buck seems to have the same reaction, “Stay here, Eddie,” he says, putting a hand on his chest. “Don’t rip your IV off.”

“Bring him to me,” Eddie asks, distressed.

“You don’t have to—”

“Buck.”

Buck nods and goes outside. The cries get louder as he opens up the door. It hurts like hell, he needs to get out of this bedroom. He needs to—

Still, he trusts Buck to bring the kid inside, their kid. God, he’s just a baby. Four years old, Eddie remembers. Is their other kid out there, too? He’s… He’s sixteen. Chris. Christopher, his first baby, how could he ever forget?

The wailing seems to stop eventually. Eddie is holding his breath.

Then, the door opens.

Eddie could cry at seeing Buck holding Theo in his arms. Theo. He remembers his name. His sweet little Theo, who stares at him with his cheeks puffy and eyes red.

“Eddie?” he asks, in a small little voice.

“Hi, baby,” Eddie says, relieved, opening his arms immediately and smiling wide.

Theo wriggles out of Buck’s arms quickly and jumps on the bed.

“Careful, bud,” both Buck and Eddie say at the same time. Theo pays them no mind, reaching Eddie’s chest and throwing himself at it.

Eddie holds him without even thinking twice about it. It’s like second nature to him. “Eddie,” Theo repeats, hugging him as close as he can. “Did you get hurt?” he mumbles, sniffling.

“Just a little bit, honey,” he says, rubbing his kid’s back.

“In a fire?” Theo asks, small.

Well, Eddie doesn’t know. No one has told him the nature of the accident.

Buck hops in, “It was, uhm, it was on the street, buddy.”

“I wanted to see you for ages,” Theo complains with a pout, “Told the lady you’re my Eddie.”

“Oh, mi amor, I wanted to see you, too. I always do,” Eddie says, dropping a kiss to his forehead, “Hm, I think I’m all better now,” he adds, winking.

Theo huffs a little laugh, “Better?” he repeats, hopeful, his big eyes wide.

“Yes, I feel like I’m a superhero,” he confesses in a whisper.

Theo’s eyes suddenly glisten, “Like Super-Man? And Spider-Man?” he whispers back, excitedly.

“Yup, just like them.”

“That’s like Chris and me,” Theo points out.

Eddie smiles, “I know, bud.”

Buck has been watching them with a little smile for a while now. He clears his throat, “Uh, Chris… He’s at school now.”

Eddie nods, grateful at the update, he can’t believe they have a sixteen year old. His kid goes to high school. Whoa. Two more years and he’ll graduate. Jesus, Eddie feels his eyes prickling again. He went to school just yesterday.

But he didn't, not really. He was probably with his family yesterday. His big, loving family.

It makes so much sense.

“Are you coming home now?” Theo asks in an impatient voice, bringing him back to reality.

Buck winces, Eddie guesses he probably won’t be back home today. “Um, that depends on the doctors, baby. But I’m sure I’ll be back soon,” he explains, ruffling his hair.

“Yeah, and then you’ll get to show Eddie the new LEGOs you’ve got, huh, buddy?” Buck says, encouragingly. “And the books!”

Theo sighs, a little dramatically, but nods, “Okay.”

“I can’t wait to see them,” Eddie promises with a kiss on Theo’s cheek.

“Okay,” Theo repeats, then, he yawns, closing his eyes and curling up into Eddie, “I’m gonna sleep now,” he informs them both decisively.

Buck opens up his mouth, then closes it. “Uh, wait, bud—”

Theo ignores him, getting comfortable. Eddie huffs a little laugh, adjusting his hold on the kid. “Shh, let him sleep,” he whispers.

Buck whispers back, “Eddie, you’re hurt and—”

“I missed him,” Eddie says, shrugging carefully, “And I miss Chris. So much. And I want to remember everything about them already, about you, about us,” Buck seems speechless. He adds, “Plus, somehow I know it’s not usually this easy to get him to fall asleep.”

“He has a lot of energy,” Buck concedes. “But he—”

“He’s perfect,” Eddie finishes almost involuntarily.

Buck scrunches his eyebrows endearingly, “Yeah, he is. I was going to say that he usually listens to you better about sleeping, though.”

Eddie smiles, feeling proud of himself. He glances down, “Is he…”

“Yeah,” Buck confirms, they’re still talking in hushed voices. “Totally asleep. I still don’t know how he does that.”

“Good. Just—leave him here? Until you have to go?” Eddie asks.

Buck nods immediately, “Sure, Eds,” he agrees softly, “Let me know if your arms fall asleep, though.”

Eddie would never let him know about that. Ever.

At some point, Eddie drifts off, too.

Someone is trying to take Theo away from him, Eddie realizes in dreams, he tightens his hold on him immediately, no one will ever— but, wait, he knows those hands, they’re too careful, and warm. Eddie awakens, just to find Buck close enough to touch, gesturing at the boy. He lets Buck grab Theo, and watches as he rocks him gently, mumbling quietly ‘It’s okay’ and ‘I’ve got you’.

Theo makes a little noise, but rests his head on Buck’s shoulder, holding onto him with his little arms. He doesn’t seem to wake up. Eddie’s about to burst with love.

“Maddie’s gonna stay home with him,” Buck explains to Eddie in a quiet whisper. “I’m picking Chris up, okay?”

Eddie’s heartbeat quickens at the mention of Chris, “Yes. Okay, bring him here,” he requests, almost desperately. “Please.”

“Of course, Eds. You need anything else?”

“No,” he shakes his head, “Just hurry.”

“I can do that,” Buck promises.

“Thank you,” he says. Just before he leaves, Eddie stops him, “Wait. Um, where’s my phone?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah!” Buck carefully opens up a drawer on the bedside table, “Here it is. Call me if you need anything, okay? I’m saved as Buck with a bunch of heart emojis,” he instructs, his cheeks getting pink.

Eddie nods, grabbing the device. It’s big, too. “Sure,” he agrees.

“Okay, see you soon!”

“See you,” Eddie replies, after he watches Buck and Theo leave, he tries to unlock his phone.

It lights up immediately as he glances at it, the little lock opening. Huh. This seems to be a new kind of technology. His lock-screen is similar to Buck’s, both Chris and Theo at the beach. Eddie searches for his Apps, finding the one he’s looking for, the gallery.

A little awestruck, he starts going through his photos. There’s a lot of the four of them, in the park, at the Zoo, at the movies, the aquarium… Eddie suddenly remembers Chris telling Theo fun facts about the sea animals. There’s photos of the kids, too, of them together and alone, in different places. Most of the people, Eddie doesn’t recognize. Then, there’s also photos of Buck and Eddie, and a lot more of Buck only.

Eddie wonders if they’re married. They gotta be, right? But there’s no ring on his finger, and he didn’t see anything on Buck’s, either.

It would be nice if they were. He likes the idea of it—marriage with his best friend in the whole world, his partner in everything, —and, oh, it makes him realize they’re partners at the firehouse, too —, the love of his life.

Even if he can’t remember most of his life.

God, he wants to, so bad it hurts.

Eddie keeps searching his phone, finding out a lot of stuff. Time passes quickly, and soon enough, his door is being opened again. “We’re here!” Buck announces. Eddie drops his phone, his heart squeezing at the sight of his baby.

He’s so big, Eddie thinks to himself, then, he used to be smaller than both my hands.

“Chris,” he breathes out, all the air punched out of his lungs.

“Hi, dad,” Chris says with a smile, walking slowly towards him, Buck helps him with his crutches.

He sits beside him, Eddie blinks hard and hugs him close, “Oh, Chris,” he whispers. From the corner of his eyes, he watches as Buck discreetly sniffles.

“Is it true? You do remember me?,” Chris asks after a while.

Eddie nods, “Not all of it, but I do,” he offers, “I’m sorry I had forgotten. I—”

“You hit your head pretty hard, dad,” Chris points out.

“And no one tells me how,” Eddie says, glancing at Buck, who shrugs noncommittally.

“It could be a little funny,” Chris offers after Buck doesn’t say anything, “If we ignore the amnesia of it all. We’ll tell you about it soon,” he pats Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie huffs, “If you say so, mijo.”

“And it’s temporary amnesia, he’s slowly getting his memories back,” Buck says, helpfully.

Chris nods at that, “Uh, I’m—I’m really glad you’re okay, dad.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Eddie tells him, marveling at his perfect, perfect boy… After a few seconds, something comes back. “Did you—you had to finish a science paper these days, didn’t you?”

Chris smiles, it makes Eddie feel warm all over, “Yeah, I turned it in on Monday. Got an A. Buck helped, you did proof-read it, too, then we all ate ice cream,” he confirms. “Theo was ecstatic.”

“That sounds about right.”

“When… When will you come home?” Chris asks abruptly, and Eddie smiles, hugging him again.

“I don’t know, bud,” he confesses. “Maybe tomorrow?” Eddie adds, glancing at Buck for help.

“The doctor said she wants to monitor you through the night,” he explains, “Hopefully, if everything goes well— and it will, you’ll be discharged tomorrow.”

Eddie nods, “That’s good,” he says, then, frowns, “Wasn’t I in this same room a few months ago?”

“Yeah,” Buck seems to hesitate, “Uh, you got… You got hurt.”

Eddie blinks, remembering the pain in his gut. “I got stabbed.”

Buck gapes, “Um, that’s ri—”

“Then there was an elevator, I couldn’t get out,” Eddie continues. “Once the doors finally opened, you came rushing to me.”

Chris is staring back and forth at them. “I did,” Buck says.

“You’re not a paramedic,” Eddie replies, a teasing tone in his voice. He doesn’t know how he remembers that.

“Well, you were b—” he stops himself, glancing at Chris.

“Bleeding on the floor?” Chris supplies, seeming unbothered.

“That,” Buck confirms, scratching his neck. “Sorry.”

“You saved me,” Eddie says, picturing it perfectly clearly. You always do, he wants to add.

Buck shakes his head, “The actual paramedics saved you.”

“Still. Thank you, Buck,” he whispers, probably staring at him like he hung all the stars.

“Glad you still act as you, dad, amnesiac and all,” Chris says, and Eddie doesn’t know what he means, but he grins at his kid.

Buck seems to choke on air.

They don’t stay for the whole night, because Theo keeps asking Maddie for Buck and Eddie, refusing to sleep again without any of them around, and Chris has school tomorrow.

Before Buck goes, promising him he’ll be back first thing in the morning, he tells him a friend of theirs will be staying with Eddie for a while.

Eddie accepts it with no complaints, hugging Chris goodbye and whispering into his hair about how much he loves him. He trusts Buck.

A woman enters his room a few minutes later. Eddie recognizes her from the pictures in his phone, and she seems familiar besides that, but his mind is blank while trying to remember her name.

“Hi, Eddie,” she says, softly, “I’m Hen.”

“Hi,” Eddie replies back, glad that someone finally introduces themselves. “We work together,” he adds.

“Mhm, I’m a paramedic,” she confirms, sitting down in the chair.

“With Chim. But did we—sometimes we both treat patients together, right? I have…” he pauses, focuses, “I have a med kit.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Who’s Bobby?” he asks suddenly, the name flashing in his mind. “Where’s he?”

“Oh, he’s our Captain, he came here earlier, back when you were still asleep with Theo,” Hen explains, “He cried a little.”

Eddie smiles, “I’m close with Bobby, aren’t I?”

“Definitely.”

There’s a beat. “You have a wife,” he says, relieved. Hen must get him.

Hen’s whole face softens. “Karen. She’s the best, you and her text all the time.”

“Mhm, I think—I think I associate her with wine?”

Hen grins, “That sounds about right.”

Eddie needs to ask her something else, now. He hesitates, then goes for it. “Uhm, Hen… Did I… Am I married to Buck?” he asks, dreading the answer.

Hen’s eyes widen, but her face is still soft, “As far as I know, you’re not,” she offers. He feels disappointed at it.

“Why not?” he inquires immediately.

“Oh,” she says, seeming surprised. “I think that’s a conversation you need to have with him,” Hen adds, carefully, “Maybe once you get your memories back.”

“I didn’t forget about him, not completely,” Eddie confesses, “I could never. And I—I think we should be. Married, I mean.”

Hen smiles, like she knows something, “Well, for the record, I also think you should be.”

Eddie smiles back, “Thank you,” he says, “I can’t believe we have two kids,” he whispers, dreamily.

There’s a beat, and then, Hen nods, “And they’re the cutest, too.”

Eddie is about to get discharged. He can’t wait, he hates hospitals. Buck, true to his word, was here as soon as he woke up.

He feels a goddamn army of butterflies inside him. Jesus Christ, Eddie needs to get a grip.

They don’t talk much, Dr. Jensen is giving them indications, Eddie is pretty busy cataloging every inch of Buck’s face, who seems very focused on writing down everything the doctor says.

Then, Buck is helping him into the truck. “The boys are back home with Hen,” he explains before Eddie asks.

“That’s good,” Eddie says, he hesitates, feeling the heat creeping up to his face, “I’m—I’m really glad I have you. You’re too good with them both, too. I don’t know if I usually say this enough, although I hope I do, but, thank you.”

“Of course,” Buck says, immediately, face soft. “There’s no need to thank me. I’ll always be here,” he promises solemnly, then, pauses, scratching his neck, “Uhm, before we go, Eddie— I gotta tell you something.”

Eddie nods, “Yeah?”

Please tell me we’re secretly engaged.

“I think—I don’t know if I’m getting this wrong, or, well, maybe I am… But you— and I, and, well, you see…”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts, gently. “Just tell me?”

“I feel like you think we’re together,” Buck blurts out, “Except, we’re not.”

Wait, what?

Eddie hesitates, shocked, “We’re not?”

“No, I—I’m sorry if I did anything that gave you that impression, we’re just… Close, you know?”

“We’re just close,” Eddie echoes, blinks. “But—but we live together. And… The kids. They’re carbon copies of you. You can’t tell me…” he trails off.

“We do live together, and we raise them both, but it’s not, uhm, it’s not as a couple,” Buck explains, wincing. Then, “Eds, you’re straight.”

Eddie frowns, “No, I’m not. I remembered that, like, a little while after I woke up, before I even saw you.”

“Oh,” Buck pauses, seeming speechless, “Well, that’s—that’s great. I’m… Woah, I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Eddie says.

“But, still, we’re not… Like that,” Buck continues, frowns at himself. “I mean, that sounds homophobic—I’m actually bi. What I’m trying to say is, we’re best friends, you know? There’s nothing romantic about it. Just best friends.”

“Best friends who live together and raise two kids,” Eddie adds, perplexed.

“Yes!” Buck agrees, nodding, “Exactly.”

“Okay,” Eddie says, but it’s not, not at all. He’ll be demanding answers soon.

“Best friends who live together, raise two kids and sleep in the same bed?” Eddie whisper-shouts as he enters their bedroom.

Buck flushes, “Um, we’re looking for a bigger house, actually, but—”

“Of course we are,” Eddie says, shaking his head to himself, trying not to huff a little laugh at seeing Buck’s reddening face. “What else, huh? Do we kiss each other in the mouth, platonically, too?” he asks, sarcastically.

Buck averts his eyes, “No!” he rushes to say, then hesitates, “Uh, well, there was this one time… But we were drunk!”

“Right. Don’t tell me we also shower together to save time and water,” he says, trying to joke, except, Buck opens and closes his mouth like a fish. Jesus Christ. “What? This is ridiculous, Buck. Why aren’t we in a relationship?” Eddie demands.

“We’re not… It’s not like that,” Buck says.

“It sure seems like that,” Eddie insists.

Then, “Buck! Eddie!” Theo cries from the living room. They both rush out, just to find him smiling wide, his face splashed with a bit of color. He’s proudly holding a drawing to his chest.

“I told him not to get dirty,” Chris says from the couch.

“I got a bit dirty,” Theo informs them all, still smiling toothily, “Eddie,” he says, walking to him to show him his drawing. “For you.”

“Oh, buddy,” Eddie says, scooping him up, drawing and all. He looks at it, and swoons, “Is that us?”

“Mhm, it’s us.” Theo confirms, proudly. “And a cat,” he adds, nodding.

Eddie notices the four of them, and, there’s a little cat next to them all, indeed. Specifically next to the smaller boy that seems to be Theo.

“It’s so good, honey, whoa,” Eddie says, impressed, “Thank you so much, we gotta pin it on the fridge, huh?”

“Yes,” Theo agrees, then giggles as Eddie kisses his cheek. “Love you,” he adds distractedly, wriggling out of his arms to go back to his drawing table.

Oh.

“Love you, too,” Eddie replies after the initial shock. He guesses Buck is weeping behind him, just like he was the first time Theo said those words to them both—to be fair, Eddie had let out a few tears, too.

Wait.

He remembers that. It was a Tuesday night. A few weeks after Buck and Theo moved in—very different from the first time Theo told Chris he loved him, which was, approximately two seconds after knowing him. Theo simply saw Chris and shrieked, running to hug his left leg with a cry of ‘I love you!’

Eddie couldn’t blame Theo. Eddie himself loved Chris as soon as he knew of his existence, too.

Chris had just looked at them both in panic, but they were busy dealing with the feelings, so, he carefully smiled down at Theo.

“Buck, can you help me in the kitchen?” Eddie says, his chest tight.

“Sure,” Buck agrees.

As soon as they are inside, Eddie frowns, “I don’t understand,” he says, feeling a little bit frustrated. “Why?”

“Eddie…”

“We have a family, and I love you, and I think you feel the same— why wouldn’t we be together? Have you rejected me in the past?” he wonders.

“I’d never reject you,” Buck points out, seeming offended.

“Then why?”

“It’s just…” Buck pauses, “I think you’re confused, Eds. Once your memories come back you’ll realize you don’t love me like that.”

Eddie doesn’t think there’s a world in which he doesn’t love Evan James Buckley like that. Instead of saying it, he raises an eyebrow, “And do you?” he asks, then explains, “Love me like that, I mean. The other me—the one that remembers everything.”

Buck clenches his jaw, shrugs, “That doesn’t matter.”

“Except it does,” Eddie insists. “I swear to you, Buck, I’m getting my memories back, and once I do, I’ll still be in love with you. Will you have me, then?” he asks.

Please.

“I—” Buck’s breath hitches, he shakes his head to himself, “We’ll see about that, Eddie,” he manages. “Come on, it’s time for dinner.”

A while after they tuck Theo in, Buck makes sure Eddie’s feeling all right, then, “I’m gonna sleep in Theo’s room.”

Eddie pauses, “Buck,” he says, “You don’t have to.”

“Don’t worry,” Buck replies, easily, “Theo will be over the moon about this. Just… Just get some rest, okay? You’ve been having some long days lately.”

“I’m always resting,” Eddie complains, but nods.

“Find me if you need anything, please?” Buck requests, it’s a little too endearing.

“Sure,” he agrees, “Good night, Buck.”

Buck smiles, “Night, Eds.”

Eddie watches as he closes the door, and slumps in the bed, defeated. He wishes he could rush forward the getting-his-memories-back of it all. Most of all, he wishes to know why he never made a move on Buck.

Is he dumb? Jesus Christ.

It’s as clear as water, that’s the thing. He feels all dizzy with excitement at the thought of spending the rest of his life with Buck—officially, romantically. He loves the guy, and is pretty sure he’s been loving him for years now.

And their family—God. Seventeen year old Eddie would never guess this, he has two kids with the love of his life, and both boys are happy, well-fed, healthy, smart and perfect.

What did he and Buck think, that they could simply co-parent, and then, at some point each of them could get another partner, maybe marrying them eventually? People would run from this thing they have, and Eddie wouldn’t blame them in the slightest.

He doesn’t want to be with anyone else. Just with Buck, forever, and non-amnesiac Eddie probably feels that way, too.

Buck is the guy of his dreams, really, why wouldn’t Eddie love him?

He tries to sleep, but can’t help thinking about his best friend instead. Luckily, a few more memories start to come back, they seem to be mostly about calls, now. God, there was a bee-nado?

After a while, he gets up, unable to drift off to sleep. He walks slowly to Chris’ door first, watching him sleep peacefully, which helps Eddie ground himself. Then, he walks to Theo’s, opening it, too. Buck is sound asleep on a mattress on the floor —since the boy’s car-bed isn’t nearly big enough — with a hand on the car-bed, and Theo is sleeping as well, his little hand holding Buck’s.

This is all Eddie needs, his three boys. They’re all he needs.

He stays there for a while, as quiet as a mouse, then goes back to Chris’ room as well—just in case. Eddie needs to confirm they’re all right.

Walking back to his own room, he suddenly recalls those moments after the Tsunami. The dark, dark night, and Buck’s eyes watering as he tried to say those horrible words to Eddie. But Chris was right there. Buck had saved him.

He remembers staying next to Chris for entire nights after that, making sure his baby was okay—Buck had been by his side many nights, too. The two of them, just watching Chris breathe.

Buck had been right next to him for almost a decade, now.

Eddie had been shot, and Buck had crawled under a firetruck to get him. He startles from the bed at the realization, looking around, his breathing shallow. Then, glancing at his shoulder, he realizes he’s okay.

Almost involuntarily, he gets up, going straight to Theo’s room, noticing it’s morning already. The scene he’s faced with makes him stop on his tracks, Theo is not longer sleeping on his car-bed, not anymore, instead, he’s curled next to Buck on the mattress in the floor, his little face content and relaxed, his breaths even, and Buck has an arm holding him protectively against his side.

Oh my God, Eddie thinks to himself, feeling warm all over. I need to marry him.

He slowly gets closer, trying to pick Theo up, except, Buck tightens his hold on him —just like Eddie had done at the hospital —frowning in his sleep. Eddie touches Buck’s hand carefully, and Buck opens his eyes in a startle.

“Wha—”

“Just gonna put him back on his bed,” Eddie mumbles, and Buck nods, loosening his grip. “Shh, baby, gotcha,” he whispers at Theo, holding him close until he’s sure the boy is asleep.

Once Theo is back on his bed, holding his favorite teddy bear, Eddie gestures at Buck, who’s been rubbing his eyes, “Come on,” he says in a mumbled tone.

Buck gets up, and his back cracks loudly. He wordlessly follows Eddie out of the room, closing the door behind him. “I’m gonna—” he yawns, gesturing vaguely at the couch.

“No. You’re sleeping on our bed,” Eddie declares. “I’m staying here, I don’t want to sleep anymore.”

Buck narrows his eyes, but nods eventually, “Okay, Eddie,” he agrees, walking slowly towards their room. “Let me know if you need anything,” he adds through another yawn.

That’s his Buck.

Eddie decides to busy himself with doing the chores around the house. He’s sure they have a lavender-scented detergent somewhere, so he goes to look for it.

Naturally, he finds it near the washing machine. He smiles, pleased at the fact that he remembered about it, getting the clothes ready, and opens the detergent bottle.

The smell hits him like a train, just as the rest of his memories come back. Eddie drops the bottle in shock, his knees giving out, he ends up on the floor. The well, the lightning strike, the cruise ship, El Paso, New México… Everything is coming back, and it hurts, it hurts so bad. He wants it to stop, please.

Eddie groans loudly, shakes his head, trying to get up. There’s a beat, loud footsteps, then, “Hey, hey, I got you,” Buck says, holding him close. “You okay?” he asks, carefully.

Eddie glances at him, scrunches his face, and sniffles, “I remember everything,” he croaks out.

“You— everything?” Buck asks, surprised.

“They took you away from me again,” he says, shaking his head, “You were hurt, and I couldn’t find you, oh my God, I thought—”

“Eddie, Eds,” Buck says, rubbing his back, “I’m all right, see? Safe and sound. You found me, bud. You did. We’re okay.”

God. Eddie holds on to him, hard. “You died for a while. Shannon died, too,” he whispers. “Chris had so many nightmares about it, and Theo has them too, about his parents.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck mumbles, nodding, “It’s—it’s been hard on the boys. But we love and take care of them, and they’re happy, healthy…”

Eddie sniffles, “They’re happy and healthy,” he repeats, eventually. “Theo’s about to start Pre-K,” he says, even though Buck must know this.

“In a few weeks, yeah,” Buck confirms, “He keeps asking if—”

“If he’s gonna make friends there, and if he’ll get another gold medal,” Eddie finishes. 

“Mhm,” Buck agrees, never letting go of him. “You wanna stay here?” he asks, not unkindly.

“No,” Eddie says, “No. Let’s get outside.”

“Sure, bud.”

Eddie is seeing everything in a new light, they walk to the kitchen, because apparently, all of their important conversations are held there, or on the couch.

Buck turns around, his face soft, and Eddie crashes into him with a hug. Buck stumbles a little, but hugs him back just as hard.

“I fucking missed you,” Eddie whispers into his neck, inhaling his scent.

“Missed you, too,” Buck says, squeezing him closer. “So much.”

“God, I always want to know everything about you, even if it hurts to think about some of it,” he says, feeling dizzy at having Buck this close. “Always want you here.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks, sounding breathless.

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, fighting the urge to kiss his neck. “I meant what I said yesterday,” he whispers.

“What do you—”

“I’m in love with you,” he says, Buck makes a little shocked sound, and Eddie retracts a little to watch Buck’s pretty face. “Have been for years. I was just afraid, didn’t want to—”

“Ruin things?” Buck asks, small, almost as if he knew the feeling.

“Mhm,” he confirms. “But I’m done being afraid now.”

Buck glances at his lips, then back up. “You are?”

Eddie nods, “You never told me… I asked you if you loved me this way, the version of me that remembers. Do you?” he inquires with his heart beating loudly on his sleeve.

“What a stupid question,” Buck huffs, grabbing his face to crash their mouths together. Eddie lets out a surprised noise, but kisses him back, eagerly. This is nothing like their first kiss —they were wasted, daring the other one to start it, it was sloppy and lasted too little for his taste —, this is everything. It feels like forever.

Buck manhandles him until his back is against the counter, which, hot, and changes the angle of the kiss, deepening it. “Love you,” he mumbles as he retreats a little, just to slot their lips together again, “Missed you,” he adds, “God. Love you so much,” pulling back and kissing him one more time, “Wanna spend the rest of my life with you,” he breaths out. “With our kids, and maybe a cat.”

“We’re not getting that cat,” Eddie manages to announce, holding his hand. He feels out of breath.

Buck giggles, “We’ll see about that.”

“I mean it,” Eddie says, tiptoeing to leave a little kiss on top of Buck’s birthmark. “Fuck, I want to marry you,” he breathes.

Buck widens his eyes, stills, “Don’t try and propose to me while I’m wearing my pajamas, man,” he warns, but his eyes seem to be glistening. “But… I also want that—I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” Eddie nods, about to tear up, “I love you.”

“Jesus,” Buck replies, blinking hard, “I love you, too.”

“I love you more!” a small voice declares from behind them.

Eddie flushes, turning around, and Buck gasps, “Uh, I—Hi, baby.”

“Hey, honey. Did we wake you, hm?” Buck asks, scooping him up.

Theo scrunches his nose, “Nope,” he says, putting both hands on Buck’s face. “I wake up super early all the time.”

“Is that so?” Eddie asks fondly, rubbing his back. Theo smiles at the attention, making grabby hands at him.

“Yes,” he confirms as Buck passes him to Eddie. Eddie grabs him easily, holding his kid close.

“Are the love declarations done, yet?” another voice says.

Eddie grins, rushing to leave a kiss on Christopher’s forehead. Theo does the same, still in his arms.

“Nope,” Eddie says, “I love you.”

“Love you, Chris,” Theo adds, grinning wide.

“I also love you, bud,” Buck tells Chris. 

Chris scrunches his nose just like his little brother did before, “Love you guys, too.” Then, glances up at Eddie, “Glad you’re fully back.”

“Yeah, I—”

“I’m also glad you two…” he gestures vaguely at both Eddie and Buck, “You know.”

“Thank you,” they both say in unison.

Theo repeats it, “Thank you!” because he loves to repeat stuff.

“Wait. Buck, oh my God!” Eddie says urgently, eyes wide.

“What?!” Buck replies, panicking.

“I got f… Fluffing hit in the head with a basketball? That was the accident? I thought—” he sighs, defeated.

Everything stills. Then, Chris lets out a little laugh, “Told you it could be kind of funny.”

“It’s not funny, Chris,” Buck says, but the corner of his mouth twitches, as if he were fighting down a smile. “Eddie, baby, you did get hurt like that,” he confirms.

“Jesus Christ.”

“It was heroic,” Buck adds, gravely.

“He-wo-ick,” Theo repeats, nodding in agreement, he rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“This is not helping,” Eddie says, but he’s fighting down a smile, too.

“On another note, I’m starving,” Chris complains, dramatically, “Let’s all focus on breakfast.”

Buck walks past Eddie, pecking him on the cheek and starting to chat animatedly with the boys about what they want to eat, then, gives them a biology lesson on sharks. Eddie feels his heart full, knowing this is his life.

After a while, once they’re all sitting down eating their food, Theo, sitting comfortably in Eddie’s lap, whispers in his ear with a sweet voice. “Can we get a cat? Please?”

Almost as if they all planned it, both Buck and Chris nod simultaneously at it like it’s a great idea, and suddenly, the three of them are staring at Eddie pleadingly with their big blue eyes.

Oh, fuck.