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“Do you need anything or can we go straight to set?” Colt asks as he pulls away from the pick-up lane.
Ryland looks a little sick. Off center. Colt knows that his brother hates flying though. Even when he tries to mitigate the motion sickness with medication he ends up looking a little green. As long as his stomach gets the chance to settle it should be fine.
Colt is just happy Ryland is here.
Ryland shifts in the passenger seat. He hasn't looked at Colt once. Not directly or for any significant amount of time. Colt can tell. He feels Ryland divert his gaze constantly. He chalks it up to Ryland's usual nervousness. The flight probably stressed him out.
“Set is fine,” Ryland says. It feels subdued. He's likely just tired from traveling.
Colt knows Ryland will probably, eventually relax. It'll just take some time. Nothing to worry about.
Colt can fill in the space for now. Try to draw out his brother from his shell and build him up. He tells Ryland about the current set, a recent fight sequence he had to do and brags about Jody a bit as he drives them to their destination.
They pull up. Ryland follows behind him. He's met a lot of people on this project from the last production when he came to visit back some three or maybe four months ago. Colt knows that it can't hurt to refresh his memory though and reintroduces him around the off-set, back stage areas.
For the most part people are friendly, if a little distant. People are bustling trying to get things rocking and rolling for the day. Even with that no one is too busy to at least say hello. There's the odd look here and there. A few people seem to recognize Ryland a little quicker than expected, but Colt remembers all the whispers from last time. Ryland had definitely made an impression then. Everything is going smoothly.
That is until Colt brings Ryland to make-up. It is hectic. Chaotic. More than usual. The department lead turns as he opens the door. She looks away from the face she's currently working on, at him and then the board with the day's timetable scrawled on it. Colt raises his hand about to say hello when she interrupts him.
“You're not supposed to be here yet,” She says.
“I know, I know,” Colt chuckles. “I just wan-”
She doesn't let him finish.
“If you're not here for makeup you need to leave.” Her tone is commanding, leaving no room for argument. She sighs, composing herself a bit. Her tone shifts, a little less aggressive. “Listen, it's not you, I'm down a person. Savannah didn't show up. We're short handed. So, please, just go.”
“Damn that sucks,” Sure enough, now that he looks, Savannah is missing. Colt gets it. Turning to Ryland he claps a hand on his shoulder and steers them away. Maybe they can come back later.
Colt doesn’t have a lot more time after that but manages to find a spot off to the side for Ryland to hang out. He's got to go suit up, Jody and Dan are also busy with their own tasks. Ryland will be by himself for a bit, but between Colt and his two other favorite people, Colt thinks Ryland will have plenty of company throughout the day. Ryland should be fine by himself here or there.
“Stay here for now, I'll be back in 20 minutes okay?” Colt reassures.
“It's fine, Colt. Go do what you gotta do,” Ryland waves a hand to dismiss him.
As Colt turns and starts toward wardrobe. Tom is walking the opposite direction . Colt nods to him as a greeting, one that Tom returns with a surprisingly friendly “Hey, bro.”
Strange.
As the distance between them closes, Colt ends up meeting Tom's eyes. Just keep walking. He tries to mentally implant that message to Tom with a look that probably looks more hostile than he intends it to.
Tom hasn't been particularly annoying the last couple months. At least, not in a direct way. His normal antics of picking at Colt's work still happen here and there, but he hasn't been doing much else. Colt hopes that Ryland being here doesn't open that whole mess back up. Colt doesn’t want to deal with any of Tom’s antics. He really doesn't want to have to remind Tom to back off again.
His hopes are quickly stomped. His message goes unreceived. Ignored.
Colt watches, over his shoulder, as Tom with his usual (arrogant, pretentious) stride, walks directly, without hesitation, up to Ryland.
He doesn't have time for this now. Wardrobe will be pissed if he throws their schedule off. It doesn't stop him from quietly seething, fists clenching. He sends a glare to the back of Tom's (stupid) head before continuing on his way.
He can deal with it later. Try talking to Ryland or get Jody to keep an eye out. Remind Tom to back off again. He doesn't want to have it become physical. He thought they were done with this. A verbal warning was enough before it'll probably work again.
Colt's day is unfortunately pretty stacked. Tom and Gail add to it a couple times by having him do stunts sometimes second or even third times. He doesn't get to spend as much time with Ryland as he would like. He tries to keep a watchful eye when he can though.
Tom seems to be acting reasonably and hasn’t approached Ryland again. At least there’s that. It doesn’t stop Colt from finding a moment to tell Ryland to “be careful,” to “walk away” if Tom approaches him. Ryland has not relaxed one bit since the morning. Colt knows Ryland can tend to be a ball of nerves on a good day and especially in a new situation or with new people. All the same, he had expected Ryland to eventually chill out. Either because Jody and Dan can keep him company and give him a safe space or by just getting used to being here. Unfortunately that doesn’t appear to be the case and he can see Ryland getting more jittery and shaky by the minute. Maybe it’s just because it's the first day and will resolve tomorrow. Maybe Colt can help somehow tomorrow when his schedule lightens.
Even with how busy he is today Colt still hears whispers amongst the cast and crew. It's par for the course. As always he tries not to put much stock in it and avoids what he can. Some gossip still breaks through though. It can’t be helped when you put a bunch of people together on an extended project such as this. Cliques, rumors and gossip always eventually happen.
As he is waiting in make-up, so they can remove some rigid collodion on his forearm he hears, “I can’t believe Savannah just quit like that.”
A couple production assistants on his path try and fail to be subtle, “Tom’s boyfriend is here.” the word boyfriend said like a question. Like they aren’t sure it's correct.
Weird.
He hasn’t seen anyone he doesn’t recognize. Maybe they are in Tom’s trailer. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t seen Tom try anything with Ryland. Other than that morning interaction Tom has been mostly distant thankfully. It's odd to think of Tom having a relationship serious enough to qualify as a “boyfriend” but it definitely explains a few things. He hasn’t been flirting with cast and crew. That overheard call with Iggy also comes to mind. Tom no longer pursuing Ryland in conversation with people. Colt assumes that was just a ploy to get under his skin anyway, but he had stopped. That’s the bit that matters.
Colt considers he may have overreacted earlier. Tom might have just been saying hi to Ryland. He contemplates if he should address it with Tom. Not apologize exactly but just recognize his bias and confront it. Nah. Tom probably didn’t even realize and if he had Colt doubts he cares. Either way the “boyfriend” being here might be a good thing. Keep Tom in check.
The rest of Colts day is fairly easy. He gets a little time to hang out with Jody, Dan and Ryland. It's enough that they can coordinate plans to get drinks later at a local hole in the wall. Ryland continues to be jumpy, high-strung. It's odd. Even when they are out by themselves it feels like Ryland is trying to do all he can to hide. It's just Jody and Dan. Colt doesn’t understand the issue and he can’t seem to fix it no matter what he tries. By the time they get back to his home, Colt is frustrated. Hopefully tomorrow is better.
It's not.
Ryland is still stressed out. Colt just wants to shake him until he says what’s wrong, but Ryland is being remarkably avoidant. He’s being extra careful with watching his words. It makes their interactions feel strained and stilted. Colt just wants to help, but he can’t do so if Ryland won’t talk to him. He also knows forcing him won’t work. All he can do is poke and prod a bit and hope Ryland will come around.
The day goes well enough for production. Crash through a window. Thumbs up. Fall down some stairs. Thumbs up. Hit a wall. Thumbs up. It's all good. Definitely doesn’t hurt. Absolutely no bruises. Sure, yeah. No big deal.
Colt walks off after a shot that frankly took too many attempts to get right. He's a bit sore, but that’s a price he’s willing to pay. Call it pride, but he gets to do a sick fucking job and his favorite people are here. He takes a glance at Ryland to see where he’s at. Off to the side by one of the trailers. Jody is closer. Colt decides he can take a little detour on his way to her to talk to Ryland instead. He’s done for the day anyway. The crew is working on setting up for the big final drop that they’ll do tomorrow. Everything has to be calibrated, dialed in. Colt knows he can trust them to set it up safely.
Gail and Tom are standing a few feet away from Ryland on his path. Colt glances at them, throws finger guns at Gail. Not Tom. Even if both Gail and Tom return a single one back to him. Whatever. Once he reaches Ryland he throws an arm over his shoulders.
“What are they setting up?” Ryland asks, looking up at the rig with apprehension. His voice a bit shaky.
“Oh, just a twelve story drop,” Colt responds with a mask of confidence. He’s a bit nervous about it, but he’s not going to let Ryland see that. Ryland can freak out enough on his own without Colt adding to it.
“Twel-twelve stories,” Ryland stutters. He pulls his glasses down and gives the rig a calculating look. “Colt…”
“What?” Colt knows what's coming. Ryland has done the same before when he’s seen Colt’s more dangerous work in movies. This is a bit different, Ryland is seeing it in person. Is going to witness it live.
“The force of that could cause debilitating injury or death if something goes wrong,” Ryland sways a bit. He starts rambling numbers and math that honestly goes over Colt’s head but he gets the gist. Distance. Time. Velocity. Colt doesn’t really want to hear all the gritty details. If he knew them it’d make things way more nerve wracking.
“I’m gonna stop you there, Ry” He says. “I trust the crew. Everyone here is invested in it. Failure would halt production. No one wants that. They will do everything they possibly can to make it safe. Don’t worry.”
“You expect me not to worry?”
As Colt is about to respond Gail’s phone loudly breaks their conversation. She answers, quickly interrupted, an angry sounding voice muffled against her ear. After a moment begins to walk away.
Gail’s voice carries though, talking with her normal cadence, unconcerned about her volume, “I understand that this needs to be taken care of, I’ll get it handled”
It's always something. Why can’t everyone just chill out? At least Jody is cool. At least Dan can hang. If Ryland could stop being so damned fidgety he might also make the list of chill people. Aw fuck it, Ryland is chill in his own way. Colt’s not going to fault him for being anxious.
“Seriously, don’t worry,” Colt tries to emphasize by repeating it. He gives Ryland’s shoulder a little tap. Jody looks like she’s finally available for a moment. She jerks her head a bit in a motion to beckon him over. “Gotta go.”
Colt approaches Jody, grinning broadly. She gives him an uncharacteristically serious look in return. It throws him off.
“Have you…” She starts like she’s trying to find the right words. “Can I show you something?”
Normally Colt would try to crack a joke. Drop an innuendo maybe. Jody’s tone though makes him rethink that. It's not the time.
“Uh yeah.”
She hands her phone over. It's open to a post on twitter. She explains that one of the wardrobe assistants had sent it to her. It takes Colt a minute to really start putting pieces together.
That’s Ryland. He’s absolutely certain.
Who is he with though? They look familiar, of course they do. Colt doesn’t want to believe it though.
Colt looks back at Jody, hoping she will say something. She doesn’t, just levels him with her gaze. Waiting patiently with a hand held out in a way that prompts him to look again.
Colt turns back around to look at where he’d left Ryland, standing next to Jody now instead of facing her. His brow furrows. He tilts his head contemplatively. He needs to confirm this. He doesn’t want it to add up to what his brain thinks it does. Tom has moved next to Ryland but isn’t too close. Colt checks himself. Tamps down on the part of him that might just be a bit overprotective. Tom’s been good. He doesn’t need to go over there. There is a friendly distance between him and Ryland. It's safe. But Jody’s phone is still in his hand so he looks back at the photo. Pieces are adding up bit by bit.
Look down. The build of his body matches.
Look up. Tom and Ryland are talking. Ryland is smiling. A laugh.
Look down. The hair is the same cut and color.
Look up. Tom gives Ryland a soft look in return. A small lean toward each other. Tom turns to face Ryland slightly.
Look down. The jaw line matches. The face is the same.
This photo is Ryland Grace with Tom Ryder. There’s no mistake. The proximity can’t be mistaken for anything other than romantic. The boyfriend that people have been talking about is Ryland. The guy his brother gushed about is Tom. The puzzle pieces click.
Colt feels blank for just a moment. He hands Jody her phone back. Brain catching up. He thinks he can hear Jody talking to him, but the words don’t process. He takes a breath. Then the anger hits.
“I’m gonna beat the shit outta him,” Colt growls in a low tone, before he shakes his head and speaks in a clearer, somewhat louder voice, “I’m gonna fucking beat the shit outta him.”
He gets one step before Jody’s hand grabs his upper arm.
“Colt. You can’t.”
Colt shrugs her off. Doesn’t respond. And makes a beeline directly over to Tom. Ryland sees him first. He stops mid-sentence. Looks apprehensive, anxious, maybe a little afraid. Everything makes too much sense. Ryland’s nervousness. The fidgeting and jitters that didn’t go away. Tom notices Colt. Their eyes meet. Colt grabs the collar of Tom’s shirt and pushes him into the trailer wall.
He raises a fist.
“Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn’t do it, Asshole,” Colt demands.
Tom raises his hands one to each side in what appears to be surrender. He’s not a fighter like Colt. Nowhere near as skilled. He will try to work his way out of this with his words, but Colt doesn’t really care. Ryland grabs the forearm that is gripping Tom’s shirt. Tries to pry him away, but Colt won’t budge. Tom didn’t back off. Colt feels resentment. Ryland has been lying to him. Colt feels betrayed.
“I can give you two,” Tom stays annoyingly calm for a guy about to get his shit wrecked. Colt tightens his grip. Tom tilts his head toward Ryland. “He loves me.”
“Oh fuck you,” Colt clenches his fist tighter. About to take a swing when a hand grabs that arm, stopping him. It's not Ryland stopping his fist, he’s still in front trying to jostle Colt’s hand from Tom’s shirt.
“Also… them,” Tom indicates behind Colt with his chin.
Colt turns to look. Two large men stand to either side of him. One is grasping his arm. The other ready to intervene as well. Tom’s security. Colt can recognize a losing battle. Ryland steps back. Colt takes the opportunity to give Tom a little shove into the trailer before he drops his fist and lets go of Tom. Tom smoothes his shirt out and squares his shoulders. He gives off an air of being unimpressed. Like this is a victory he doesn’t really care about.
“Fine, fine” Colt concedes. “Ryland, come on. Let’s go.”
Ryland looks conflicted. He looks between Colt and Tom, unsure. Tom reaches out putting a hand on Ryland’s arm.
“It's okay. You can go with him. It's your choice,” Tom reassures. It doesn’t fit into the picture Colt has of Tom for him to act like this. It makes his world tilt a little. It doesn’t make sense.
Ryland takes one more moment. Nods. He follows behind Colt. They have a lot to talk about.
The ride is silent and uncomfortable to Colt’s place. They somehow without communicating both decide the truck is not the place for this. When they arrive, that silence lingers. Unnervingly so. The air feels thick with a plethora of feelings. Betrayal. Guilt. Anger. Uncertainty. It sticks in the corners of Colt’s kitchen making the space feel smaller than it is. Someone needs to start this conversation. Neither of them knows exactly where or how immediately. Colt knows it's on him. If he doesn’t they will never do it and this will continue to fester. It's just that Colt doesn’t know what part really bothers him the most. Is it that Ryland lied to him? Or is it Tom? Does it matter?
“How long?” Colt asks.
“How… How long, what?” Ryland returns. Not in an insulting way. More like he’s trying to figure out what Colt actually wants to know.
“When did this start? When did you start dating? How long has this been going on? How long have you been lying to me, Ryland?” There’s a frustrated edge to his voice, but he’s trying not to let himself lose it. Not yet at least. He still might, it's not off the table, but he knows it won’t be helpful. A mantra of “stay calm” plays in the back of his head.
“I texted back,” is the first confession. He starts detailing things. He doesn’t give everything down to the smallest bit but the big things. The phone call at the bar. The first date they had a few months ago and the ones that followed. How he’d been in L.A. for a week already when Colt picked him up from the airport. The sneaking around and trying to avoid detection. Avoid going public. Colt listens. He knows interrupting might stop Ryland in his tracks and Colt needs him to be honest.
When Ryland starts to slow down and lull Colt asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He needs to know. They’re brothers. Their lives may be different, but they’ve always been close. They may have physical distance between them but it's never been an issue for them. Texting and phone calls and visits to each other's places or cities kept them connected. They kept secrets to a minimum. Or so Colt thought.
“I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t,” Ryland admits. He’s upset and stressed. Arms crossed in front of him. He’s tapping a finger near his elbow. He rocks a bit. Eyes a little watery, refusing to meet Colt’s face. If this were any other conversation Colt would hug him. Try to fix it. Not this time.
He just needs to keep asking questions. Keep this going.
“Did he stop you? Tell you not to?”
“No, no, no,” Ryland shakes his head. “It was all me. My choice. I didn’t know how to tell you. And then it just was so long and it felt like there was no good way to do it.” He pauses, lips trembling. A few tears slip. He uses his sleeve to wipe them away. “I was going to this week, I wanted to do it face to face. But that photo and the posts…”
“Okaaaay?”
“And you hate Tom”
Colt knows he shouldn’t interrupt but he has to clarify, “I don’t hate him,” Ryland looks at him in disbelief. “I don’t. I just don’t like a lot of things about him. I respect him as an actor at least. And he’s the reason I get to do what I do. Contractually. But as a person? He sucks. He’s a douchebag.”
“See, that's it, that’s why,” Ryland sounds offended. “You don’t know him how I do.”
“I know him plenty,” The anger is coming back. Colt needs Ryland to understand. “I’ve known him longer than you. He’s a dipshit. An asshole. He uses people. You shouldn’t be with someone like that. You’re so much better than him. You’re smarter than this.”
“He’s nice. He cares about me.”
“No he doesn’t.,” Colt raises his voice. Not a yell but still aggressive enough for Ryland to startle. “You’re just another in a series of hook-ups for him. He’s gonna get bored of you. Then he’s gonna drop you like you’re nothing. Last I recalled you wear regular glasses”
“No he’s not and what does that even mean?” A few more frustrated tears fall as he furrows his brow.
“It means that you must be wearing rose colored fuckin’ lenses because I don’t understand what the hell you could possibly see in him,” Colt rarely swears at Ryland, but he’s frustrated and angry. “Why don’t you get it?”
Ryland doesn’t speak for a moment. Hurt. He looks down and away before looking directly at Colt for the first time in this whole argument.
“Because what he said was true. I love him,” he says with finality. He steps away. Grabs his bag from the living room. When Colt asks where he’s going he doesn’t respond, just steps out the door.
There’s a knock on the trailer door. Colt turns away from Jody and answers it. It's Ryland.
“Oh hey, Ryland,” Jody says cheerfully. She knows about what happened last night. She called Colt out for being an idiot and not keeping his cool. Colt appreciates that she will keep him in check. She sneaks through the open door and whispers “keep calm, talk, listen.” to Colt as she passes.
Ryland steps in. He looks like a wreck. Like he stayed up all night, crying. Colt feels terrible. His mind tries to supply some levity. He might have more in common with Tom than he thought. They are both assholes. He knows he fucked up.
“I’m sorry,” they say almost in tandem.
They talk it out. Colt tells Ryland he has nothing to be sorry for. Ryland vehemently disagrees. He lied to Colt. He really does need to apologize and he does like three more times. Colt keeps his cool. Ryland still ends up crying.
Colt may not understand why Ryland likes Tom. It's not up to Colt though and if Ryland is happy then he can let it be. For now.
“Okay, that’s enough, We’re both sorry. I think we’re good” Colt says. Thumbs up. He opens his arms and Ryland meets him for a hug. “If he hurts you, I’m still gonna break his fucking face though.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Ryland dismisses as he pulls away.
Another knock, this time a PA. They need Colt back on set. They want to do the 12 story drop again, but backwards. Colt flirts with Jody on channel 2 on the way up. Spicy margaritas sound like a great plan. They rig him up and he takes one last look down. Jody’s ready at her camera. Tom and Gail are standing by the control set-up. Ryland is standing nervously further away.
Thumbs up.
Flail a bit on the way down. Make this drop look real.
It feels faster than before. A line snaps. Darkness.