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“What is the point of learning chemistry?” Nina groaned, falling onto the grass on the back of their school. The weather was so nice, the sun high in the sky, bright and warm. It gently hugged everyone’s skin. It was so different than a few nights before, when Wylan came to Jesper’s house. It was clear that spring had already started.“I’ve definitely failed”.
“I like chemistry” Wylan hummed, already laying on the blanket thrown onto the ground. “Was the test that hard?” he asked, looking at Kaz, who sat on the bench and stretched his bad leg. Next to him was Inej, with her legs crossed under her.
“It was doable for someone who prepared” he just said, sending Nina knowing look. “Even Jesper said it was fine”.
“Jesper has a nice tutor” Inej said with a smirk, lightly hitting Wylan’s knee with her foot. He didn’t say anything, just blushed profusely.
“Tell me Wylan” Nina stretched her arms over her head. “When you tell us you’re going to the cafe to learn, are you really helping Jes with school or is it just excuse to-”
“Do not finish that sentence” he groaned, covering his face with his hands. “We really do learn” he added. “And he’s also helping me. Ugh, last week Rollins told us to prepare an essay and we always write it on the computers, but this time he insisted it has to be handwrited. And I’m sure he was looking at me” he was worried Rollins would say something to his father.
“This old fucker” Kaz murmured under his breath. They all knew he hated Pekka Rollins, but besides the fact it was something from the past, they didn’t know why. Maybe Inej did. “I’m sure you're a thousand times smarter without once reading a book than this-”.
“Kaz!” he snapped. “Say it louder so they can hear you in Belendt!” Wylan knew that for his friends it wasn’t a big deal, they truly didn’t care about his inability. When he was with them he was close to believing it seriously didn’t make him stupid. But if anyone else would find out his father would kill him.
“Fine” Kaz just rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, where is Jesper and Matthias?” Inej asked. She and Wylan were a year younger, so they both went to a different class than the rest of their friends. Their teacher let them go on the lunch break earlier this time.
“Matthias has some football meeting. They are playing against a new team next weekend” Nina explained. “And you're not there to watch?” Inej teased.
“I said meeting, not a practice, my dear Inej” she laughed. “No sweaty muscles to watch. I have no interest in listening”.
“We know” Kaz added dryly. “So Rollins made you write an essay?” he asked.
“Yeah, like a condition to pass a year” Inej sighed. “You’ve never had to do something like that?”.
“No” he just said. “It really sounds suspicious”.
“Scheming face” Nina murmured under her breath. “What are you writing about?”.
“The influence of belief in Ghezen on Kerch culture of work” Inej proudly explained. Her response was met with snort from Kaz. “Why this?”.
“I just think that’s so different from other cultures, it’s worth my interest. What’s so funny about that?” she knew Kaz for a long time, so it was something other than being mean.
“Well, the belief in Ghezen is just an illusion. None of the wealthy men care about him. They may say differently, but the truth is their god is Kruge, not Ghezen. You don’t have to look for an example, it’s sitting right here” he pointed to Wylan who was listening with furrowed eyebrows.
“As far as I’m concerned I’m not a wealthy man? And why would you think I care about money?” he was truly surprised his friend saw him like that.
They all knew that his house was not the kind one, they knew his father was not a kind man. Of course he didn’t tell them about his abuse, but they figured themselves, when he came to school, hiding bruises a few times. They knew about his dyslexia, so they also connected the dots. They noticed he often didn’t have anything to eat in school. The first time they gave him food for lunch, he almost cried.
Wylan was so grateful for his friends and boyfriend.
“I’m not talking about you” Kaz cleared. “I meant your father. He confused faith with desire. He just wants Kurge, not Ghezen’s grace. Ghezen never said to beat your child if they can’t read” he spat. “Sacred is Ghezen, and in commerce we see His hand” Kaz recited. He didn’t talk about his past, though it was obvious he’s native Kerch. He didn’t have any accent and his beauty was also clearly from this part of the world. “Nothing about violence. I don’t think Ghezen would say starving your kid or any form of abuse is profitable”.
Most people, especially other students, probably thought that Kaz Brekker was cold, scary. Some might even call him ruthless. The Great Bastard of the Barrel. Dirtyhands.
But if you asked one of his Crows? Entirely different story. Obviously it’s not like he was an example of the most open person with his emotions. His face was mostly blank, sometimes with a knowing smirk. But deep down he cared. He would do anything for his people. He once called them crows and then explained that they’re particularly interesting birds.
Crows remember human faces. They remember the people who feed them, who are kind to them. And the people who wrong them too. They don't forget. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for.
Those who were meant to know, knew.
So when Kaz talked about Van Eck like that, Wylan, Nina and Inej understood what he meant. He hurts one of my Crows. He’ll regret.
“That’s why I want to write about that” Inej interfered, before Kaz would fall into his vengeance mode. “It’s the only religion that worships one god. All others have at least several Saints or figures. And that means they have different patrons for different things. And here the religion is only about profit and Kruge”.
Inej respected Ghezen believers, since her faith was also very strong, but from what she saw in Ketterdam, most of them were fake. It was rare for Suli people to not worship their Saints. Someone was either a believer or a non-beliver. There was no need to act one way and believe another.
“You okay?” Nina asked Wylan who was quiet since the discussion began. She probably felt his rapid heartbeat. It caused both, Kaz and Inej, to turn to them. “Mhm” he just hummed.
“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable” Inej instantly raised from the bench and sat next to her friend. “No, no… You did nothing wrong” he assured. “I just… I think Kaz is right. And it’s hard to acknowledge that my father's actions are harmful and wrong, when all he did my whole life was assure me he does everything for me and that he’s kinder than the world would be. And now here we are and you all are so good and I know he’s wrong” he admitted. And it really was hard. To understand all his father ever did was hurt him, not care for him.
“Wylan” Kaz spoke. “You will be the one to come out victorious from this” and even if he wanted to say more, to open up more with them, he just couldn’t. But it was fine, because he was making progress. One day he will be able to say everything he wants. And just accidentally he looked in Inej’s direction. “Brick by brick, Wylan. Brick by brick”.
Wylan didn’t say anything after that. There was no need. And even though he wasn’t one for revenge, he would let Kaz do what he wanted. As long as it brings him his desired freedom.
Oh, how glorious it would be. To be free from his father’s wrath, insults, abuse.
“What are you writing about, Wylan?” Nina asked and then winced, when she heard how it sounded. But he just laughed. Two years ago tears would gather in his eyes because of that word choice, but now his friend's reaction was funnier than anything.
“Well I really did enjoy the story my Mama once told me. It was an old legend about Sjonger. He was the greatest musician known to man and some even say his power was stronger than Ghezen’s. So when his Lover died, buried under tons of Kruge, he went to Ghezen, who was then the king of the Einleasstaad, to bring his Lover back. But Ghezen only valued profit and to bring back The Lover he would have to burn the Kruge. He feared people might follow Sjonger, because of his talent. It was said his music was able to move the stones and calm the most dangerous animals. So Ghezen gathered the Merchant Council and they used their most powerful indentures, Durasts, to Fabrikate Sjonger’s lyre to his fingers so he could no longer play. He was so devastated, his only power to bring back The Lover was gone, he got on the first ship he could find and threw himself into the water in the middle of The True Sea. The Zemini Saints took mercy on him, since he was immortal of course, and put him into the sky as a Lyra Constellation, where he no longer suffers”.
“Oh, Saints” Nina muttered. She lived in Ketterdam long enough to know some basic folk stories, but this one was new. As she took in the faces of her other friends, they weren’t familiar with this as well. “I’m literally speechless”.
“You sure about that?” Kaz snorted, probably pissed, that he didn’t know something. “Cause from what I recall you never shut up, Nina Dear” he smirked.
“Okay now, listen to me mr. Bad Haircut-”.
“Guys” Inej laughed. It was the only reason Kaz didn’t bother continuing his argument with Nina. “I wanna hear more about Wylan’s essay, you can argue later” she promised, lightly nudging Kaz’ knee with shoulder.
“I just thought that this tale is so heartbreaking and so worth knowing… Most Kerch people are aware that at first there were more gods than just Ghezen, but when… I guess you don’t know how the mercher’s kids are supposed to be raised?” he asked Inej and Nina and continued when they both nodded. “Okay, so… When the mercher’s child is born it’s brought to The Church of Barter after exactly ten days, until then the family stays in the house and it’s the only case when father is allowed to miss Council meetings. Anyway, it is said that Ghezen was fighting with other Kerch gods for ten days, before he won, so that’s why after ten days. The whole Council is there and the parents must choose the blessing for their child. Obviously all of them ask something like may our child bring honor to the family and may the profit our child brings to the family be worth Ghezen’s grace, stuff like that… and after the ceremony the mercher comes back to work and the mother stays home with the baby. Later, since the kid's first birthday, the whole family has to go to church every Sunday. When the child is old enough to start education, there’s gathering in the church, where one of the first things they’re taught is The Grutteferhaal of Ghezen. And basically it’s the story about how the other gods were too similar to people and they had weaknesses that blurred their thoughts. So Ghezen had to fight with them, for said ten days, and when he killed all of them he became The Iennichste. This whole thing is just to show how Ghezen fought in people’s name and now we should work to provide profit… blah, blah. After ten days of everyday meetings in church there’s another big celebration when the child promises to bring their family the blessings that were asked by parents” he clearly remembered everything from when he was a child. Inej saw how stiff he was and definitely uncomfortable. “So, I’d like to write about the reason why most of those legends died. Usually they tell us just about this last fight, but there’s more gods that were killed earlier”.
“Like Sjonger” Kaz murmured.
“Like Sjonger” he admitted. “But I really enjoy those myths. They remind me about my Mama a lot. Also Jesper promised to help me. I’m gonna ‘write’ it” he showed the quotation marks with his fingers. “Using my laptop and he’s gonna rewrite it by hand” he sighed. “I know he’s before finals and everything, but he said that’s not a pro-”.
“Wy” Nina put her hand on Wylan’s knee. “You don’t have to explain yourself”.
“I know” he sent her a small smile. “Thank you” he hugged her with one arm.
“Oh, Zenik, why are you trying to steal my men!” Jesper’s frown was so dramatic they all, maybe except Kaz, burst out laughing.
“Well, he is very cute” she smirked. Inej returned to her place on the bench, next to Kaz, when Jesper came closer to their blanket with Matthias in tow. “Why are you stealing Wylan?” he just asked, lowering himself next to his girlfriend and kissing her cheek.
“He’s cute and smart”.
“He is smart” he nodded, observing Wylan’s face when he realized Jesper’s holding two lunchpacks, instead of one.
“For you, babe” Jesper only smiled and sat on the last free spot. “From Da, with love”.
“Thank him, please” he whispered. Both of the Faheys probably predicted his father’s punishments after last Friday’s events. “I love you” he softly kissed his lips with a smile.
Jesper stretched his long limbs and laid down, with one bent knee, so Wylan could rest his back on it.
“I love you. The test went great” he announced proudly. “Even Kaz was inspired by my answer while writing” he snorted.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about” he rolled eyes. They spent the rest of the break talking about the test, the finals and the plans for the next weekend.
“You guys coming to the game?” Matthias asked, when he told about his meeting with the coach. “It’s my last match as a captain” he was heartbroken to leave his team, but he also knew they would be alright. He also looked forward to join a new team during his university years.
“I’m sorry, Matty” again Wylan looked anywhere but on his friends. Even though he was usually confident around them, for some time now he looked more tired and stressed than usual. “The situation at home is… not the best at the moment? Father is more angry than usual. And there was an… um unpleasant situation on Friday so I spent all weekend with Jespers and only came back yesterday… I’m not allowed to leave the house a lot now. But it’s only three weeks before I’m eighteen and then I’ll move out” he sighed. “I just want to avoid him as long as I can… So, you know, he won’t have another reason to be angry?”.
“I’m sorry, friend” Matthias gently patted his head. “I understand. I’m sure others will send you a lot of videos and photos” he assured. “Especially Nina” Inej smiled. “And we will leave the celebratory dinner for when you can come with us”.
“What exactly happened, Wylan?” Kaz asked with a serious face.
“He got angry because of the grades. Nothing too bad” he shrugged, but then grimaced when Jesper decided to add “I don’t know if bruised ribs and arms is ‘nothing too bad’”.
“He did what?!”.
“Guys” Wylan pleaded. “Leave it, please. I’ll be free in a moment”.