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1. In The End, I'll See Myself Again by marielleheller

   Fandoms: Nirvanna the Band the Show (Canada TV 2017), Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025)  

   • Mature
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • F/M, M/M
   • Complete Work

   23 May 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Matt Johnson/Jay McCarrol (Nirvanna the Band the Show)
   • Jay McCarrol & Reid Janisse
   • Jay McCarrol (Nirvanna the Band the Show)
   • Matt Johnson (Nirvanna the Band the Show)
   • Reid Janisse
   • Drug Use
   • Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
   • Drug Addiction
   • Rehabilitation
   • Marijuana
   • not like. Explicit sex but talk of sex
   • Sexual moments
   • nudity and breasts especially
   • Erections
   • Masturbation
   • Jay McCarrol Torture Chamber
   • Coverband Matt only appears in part 3 but i promise the other two parts are Jay being fucking Haunted by him
   • Reid is Jay's only friend <3
   • Isolation
   • some original characters - Freeform
   • Bisexuality
   • GLOSSED over unfortunately but jay does like men
   • Mommy Issues
   • parental neglect i'd say
   • OCD tendencies
   • Dermatillomania
   • Skin picking
   • light body and food issues
   • light sexual degradation
   • and light sexual enjoyment of pain
   • Suicidal Ideation
   • Mentions of Suicide
   • no plan to actual commit
   • Passive Suicidality
   • Famous Jay McCarrol
   • i would say like. jay needs a break but untrue
   • i need to hurt him MORE!
   • Hospitalization
   • kind of overdose
   • reid is like jay's ONLY friend so i did flesh him out hope that's okay with y'all <3
   • author MAJORLY projecting <3

   Summary

   If I threw away the only person who ever loved me… it should mean something. It should be worth it.

   In 2008, a then-unknown Jay McCarrol left his roommate and his band to pursue fame as a solo artist. The intervening 17 years were a series of highs and lows, riding the wave of fame while it was not always kind to him.

   An exploration of Famous Jay's career and the struggles with losing your only friend in pursuit of fame.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   33,803

   Chapters:

   3/3

   Comments:

   32

   Kudos:

   87

   Bookmarks:

   13

   Hits:

   1,163