Archive of Our Own

Eva was studying abroad. That was the most voluntary information Ryland had gotten from her so far. During campus orientation, she'd walked up to him and said, brisk, "Hello."

Ryland replied, in the way of a painfully awkward university freshman being greeted by a an extremely intimidating grad student, "Uh. Hello."

Eva had nodded and sat down beside him. He didn't actually get her name until they were getting their student cards. But she stayed by his side the entire orientation.

And well, if you sat beside Ryland Grace, you were getting an earful. So he talked nervously to her. About the available nearby fast food to their dorms. About the weather. About biology. Okay, a lot about biology.

Unlike anyone else Ryland had encountered, Eva did not eventually peel away. The two stayed a pair through the campus tour and all the various sign ups. He talked. She, presumably, listened. Ryland couldn't believe his luck that he'd make — a friend? — on day one orientation and kept waiting for the illusion to disappear. But Eva didn't. On day two, she rejoined the group and sat beside him again.

"Eva, right?" Ryland asked, bumbling. He'd been working himself up the whole night promising that if he saw her again, he would make like, an actual attempt at friendship.

"Eva is fine." She agreed, completely level. "You are Ryland Grace."

"Ryland. My grandmother calls me Ry. You can call me anything you want." Okay, he couldn't help himself. "Just don't call me late for dinner!"

Eva stared at him. Ryland fiddled with the strap of his bag when she didn't say anything.

"It's uh — sorry." Ryland said.

"For what?" Eva said.

"Uh."

And then, amazingly, she did not leave. When they wrapped up orientation outside the student union, Eva said, "I will be having coffee here every morning."

"Okay…" Ryland said, still fiddling with his bag strap. He'd tied it into a knot.

Eva raised a single brow. "You will be here too."

"Oh— oh, okay."

Eva pat his arm, once, prim. "Good."

Then she left, Ryland staring after her unsure if he should celebrate being gifted a companion so easily or worry he was being indoctrinated somehow.

His roommate Ben didn't believe that his friendship with her was that easy. Well, Ben didn't believe it was a friendship at all.

"Damn, how'd you get her attention?" Ben said with an impressed whistle as Eva approached them.

"I have no freaking idea." Ryland told him, the two of them sitting on the stairs outside their dorm. He'd been waiting for Eva, and his roommate had tagged along because he couldn't believe Ryland had 'bagged a girl on the first day'.

The notion made Ryland uncomfortable in ways he pretended he wasn't. Of course any hot blooded man would be thrilled to get the attention of any woman, let alone Eva Stratt.

"Eva, right?" Ben strode fearlessly up as she got close. She was wearing a long coat that made her look distinguished and cool in a way Ryland could never dream of. "Wow, you look even better than I imagined! What are you doing hanging with a dweeb like Ryland?"

It was meant in friendly, roommate jest. Except that Ryland found his comments stinging and had yet to click with Ben. Ryland was sensitive, his grandmother always said fondly. Especially to the types of boys that girls usually liked. Though he'd never been sure he wanted to be the type of boy that girls liked, like that.

He'd rather they liked him how Eva did. Like friends. The kind of friends where she looked at Ben as if he was gum on her shoe, then promptly ignored him to say, "We're on a schedule, Ryland."

"You got it." Ryland hopped down from the stairs and awkwardly waved at his roommate. "See you later, man."

"Bye." Ben raised his hand, mystified and defeated, like no woman had ever ignored him before.

"Not a fan of jocks?" Ryland asked, hands in his pockets as they strode off toward the quad. It was the first time they were meeting up outside of having coffee together every morning for the last few weeks. Eva had informed him that they were going to attend the Career Fair and he was still far too intimidated by her to say no.

"I have no particular opinion." Eva replied measuredly, before glancing at him with her calculating stare. "Are you?"

Ryland didn't know if she meant as a roommate, or a friend, or beyond. Either way, "Less that and more that jocks don't usually like me."

"That one certainly does seem like a waste of space." Eva mused.

"Aw, he's fine." Ryland said, but he didn't really mean it.

"You are lying." Eva called him out, bland and unaggressive. "That's okay. I will keep the losers away from you until you grow a backbone."

"I ... don't know how to feel about that." Ryland said, somewhere between amused and affronted. He kept his hands in his pockets and reclined back a bit to meet her eye. "You don't think I have a backbone?"

"There is always room to grow." Eva said. "A person should not let what others think of them determine how they live their life."

"That's a nice thought." Ryland snorted. "Is that what this is, then? I'm your pet project?"

"Interesting hypothesis." Eva replied. "What purpose would that serve me?"

"I don't know? I just mean, I don't quite get why you want to hang out with me, I guess."

"Is there a reason I shouldn't want to hang out with you?"

"Stop asking me questions! Ben didn't think it made sense you'd want to be friends with me, so is this like... I don't know. I don't know."

Eva considered his words for a minute, still walking towards the Career Fair, like this was totally normal. That an international grad student who looked like she truly had her life together wanted to be near him, categorical mess since the 90s.

"Your sweaty roommate presumes I am seeking a sexual relationship." Eva said, slowly.

Ryland sputtered. "You could put it like that, yeah."

She glanced over again, calculating blue eyes. They were nearly the same colour as the crisp, November sky. "That wasn't my intention, no. Was it yours?"

"No." Ryland said, too-quick with a gust of relief. "I want to be friends, I really do! It's been great having coffee with you and stuff. This just isn't a normal situation for me, okay?"

Eva continued to look at him, and she didn't say it, but he could hear the undercut of his own words -- having friends wasn't a normal situation for him -- and he cringed. She said, "I see."

Ryland slung his hands deeper in his pockets and hunched his shoulders up by his ears. He was already putting his foot in his mouth, as per usual.

"There is a graveyard tour this weekend." Eva said, her own shoulders straight and chin forward as she spoke. "They will be discussing the local cemetery and the history of the persons housed there. It is a topic I am interested in."

"History." Ryland echoed, because that was one of the few pieces of information he'd gathered from her ID badge. Masters in History. "You like history."

"I do. And if it has not gotten through your head yet, I am inviting you to join me."

Ryland swallowed against a lump in his throat. The cool wind whirled around them, crunch of deadened grass under their feet. He had to ask, both as a confirmation of a lack of romantic intent and as a presence of platonic desire, "As friends?"

Eva exhaled slow, steady like the wind. Then she cut her gaze to him from the side of her eye and said, "Yes. As friends."

"Okay." Ryland replied, mouth dry. Trying not to get too excited, though he could practically feel his metaphorical tail wagging like a dog with a new toy. "That's -- that's great. Awesome."

Eva glanced away, and said softly, "You might think so," then she straightened up, "Regardless. I expect you to choose an activity that interests you for the next weekend."

Ryland bounced on his heels, because Eva had been listening to him ramble and make bad jokes and stumble through life for the last couple months and still wanted to be friends. The tight-band-relief of just friends, something other men considered a curse and Ryland was so, so desperate for. "Oh yeah, absolutely! I heard that some other bio majors we're going to borrow a lecture hall to screen Gattaca, that could be fun. Oh! Or we could go to a trivia night they're doing at this cafe I love, I bet you make a killing at trivia."

Eva huffed lightly, and by God was that a smile? "That's a good guess."

The thrill of Being Good At Friendship ran through him, and as they approached the entrance of the Career Fair he thought to himself that she wasn't nearly as hard as she looked.

[]

"Stop fidgeting." Eva said.

"Why don't you just ask me to stop breathing." Ryland hissed in the corner of his mouth.

"That would be counterproductive."

Ryland sighed. He bumped their shoulders together. They were waiting for the elevator so they could get to the campus flu shot clinic and he wasn't sure what was making him more nervous — the elevator or the impending shot.

Being friends with Eva was a lot of practical past times. She took him to the farmers market, to the post office, to the library, to the laundromat. And in this case, she had informed him they were getting their flu shots.

The doors pinged open. Ryland hesitated, cursing himself internally, because it wasn't like his fear of elevators was rational. Eva didn't move either.

"I think I'd rather have the flu." Ryland said.

"You had a cold last month and cried." Eva informed him. Since they hadn't moved, the doors to elevator closed again, and neither of them made to stop the slow shut.

He had cried. Eva came to his dorm room with a styrofoam container of chicken broth and crackers and he cried like a baby because he was hundreds of miles away from his grandmother and miserable and alone. And then he wasn't, because Eva was there.

Ryland couldn't help but think he'd done something pretty amazing in a past life to deserve a friend like her. She never seemed to waver, where other friendships frayed and dissolved after extended exposure to the experience of Ryland Grace, she was still there.

"We could take the stairs." Eva offered.

A jolt of surprise went through him, even though it shouldn't have surprised him by now. Eva could read people like a book, it was no wonder she'd caught on that the flu shot wasn't the only problem. He grimaced and said, "It's on the tenth floor. And you've got heels."

Eva glanced down at her boots, with a small sensible heel. "I suppose."

Then she poked the button again. The doors opened immediately, the elevator car idle and waiting, and offered her hand.

"For real?" Ryland said, somewhere between pathetically grateful and incredulous she would even offer. Her practicality didn't typically manifest in physical affection levels of kindness.

Her response was to merely continue standing there with her hand out, waiting, face calm.

Ryland took her hand and entered the elevator with her. His palms were sweaty but hers were cool and her grasp was just tight enough to instill a sense of presence. When they stepped off the elevator at the tenth floor, he released her grasp and gave a nervous, grateful smile.

[]

Ryland opened the door on Christmas Eve to find Eva on the other side with snow in her hair, a scarf tied neatly around her neck, and a bottle of champagne in her hand.

"Eva?" Ryland sniffed, immediately wiping at his face with his sleeve. "Shoot, sorry, come in, come in."

"Why are you crying?" Eva asked, with her flat affect slid into something a little long-suffering.

"You don't cry, so I'm crying enough for the both of us." Ryland shot back snottily, taking the champagne out of her hand and already peeling the foil as he entered the kitchen.

"Hilarious." Eva deadpanned. Her resting-bitch-face made her hard to read, but Ryland had the unique privilege of being her friend for the last three years and knew better. She was worried about him.

"You didn't have to come." Ryland said, awkwardly.

Eva unwound her scarf. "Don't be ridiculous. I can't have you drinking alone."

Ryland didn't point out that he didn't possess any alcohol in this apartment until she delivered it, merely pressing his thumbs into the cork and popping the it off with a pleasing sound. He poured them champagne into mugs, giving Eva the one covered in various images of Snoopy.

Eva huffed, light amusement, then raised it. "Cheers."

"Cheers." Ryland echoed. "To the future?"

In the Christmas lights hanging from his window-sill giving a faint glow behind her, Eva paused. Then she tipped the ceramic against his and said, quieter than ever, "To the future."

Ryland drained the mug, then turned to open his fridge and see if he had something feeble to offer for a Christmas Eve feast. "You really didn't have to come all this way, it's pretty cold out."

"For you, perhaps." Eva dismissed, and it unnerved him when he turned to see she was still looking at him in her quiet contemplation. The snow had melted into her hair, darkening the tips with moisture. He was embarrassed to have been caught crying over a lonely Christmas when his salvation was right here. Eva watched him slice an apple into quarters and accepted a piece before she asked, "What do you think of the future for yourself, Ryland?"

"Hm." Ryland dug out some peanut butter to dip his slice in. Eva politely declined with a raise of her hand. He shrugged and scooped out a large lump, and spoke around a full mouth, "Grad school?"

"I meant." Eva shifted, and Ryland could almost dare to call her uncomfortable. "I'm returning home in the spring."

The apple in his throat suddenly became very hard to swallow. He didn't answer at first, instead busying himself with pouring more champagne and using that as a lubricant to get it down. And another gulp for the push to actually talk about the thing that had been giving him a cold trickle of dread down his spine ever since Eva said she was graduating soon.

"I know you are." Ryland said. "I'm happy for you, I know you miss it."

Eva never stated anything of the sort out loud, but Ryland knew. Her occasional nose wrinkles at the worst of American culture, like the soggy midnight McDonald's burgers or the Superbowl or truck nuts, told the story on its own. She received care packages from home with coffee beans that she rationed as if they were the only thing keeping her alive, and when she spoke on the phone in her own language her shoulders relaxed to something almost soft.

Eva was scanning his face, cool eyes trying to solve him. He appreciated the sentiment, but the pressure of Eva Stratt deciding to fix his disaster of an existence made him take another big swig of champagne.

They finished the apple together, half each, then sat on his IKEA couch to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol with their mugs of fizzy alcohol. Eva tucked her feet up, something about seeing her without shoes in warm socks was truly the biggest indicator of their friendship to him.

"Why didn't you drive home for Christmas?" Eva asked, when the mugs were empty and the Muppets were singing.

Ryland shrugged. "Can't afford it."

"Go next year." Eva said, and it was an order.

"Who knows if I can afford it next year?" Ryland hugged his couch pillow closer to his chest. "It's fine, Eva, really. I'll be fine without you, I was fine before you came along."

"I won't be gone forever." Eva said. "I'll visit."

"Visit? Over the Atlantic?" Ryland said, a little amused. It wasn't her walking fifteen blocks from her apartment, it was a lot, lot more. The chasm growing between them making his heart ache.

"Of course." Eva said, and it was so like her to sound incredibly matter-of-fact about something ridiculous. "Plus I will call you every week. And I expect you to answer."

Ryland felt like his throat was going to close, and it came out with a damning rasp, "I'll answer," as if he wasn't the one clinging to her aspiring coattails. She had so many offers already at home for big, important jobs. And he was fighting for a spot in grad school to pursue his dreams of bathing in science his whole life.

The unyielding nature of her statement made Ryland feel like maybe this friendship meant as much to her as it did to him, which was insane. It couldn't be possible, because he was a spot in her shadow as she was flying high. And to this day, he had no idea why she ever bothered to say hello to him.

The sky darkened to night, leaving only the flickering TV screen and dotted lights. When Ryland walked her to the door, Eva tied her scarf and faced him with a set jaw. Ryland smiled just a little, because he knew she'd made a decision.

"I'm going to teach you to drive." Eva said, nodding. "That is my Christmas present to you. Then next year, you can drive home and visit your grandmother."

Ryland's smile grew. "Eva, it's dark, snowing, and more importantly we've finished a bottle of champagne between us."

Eva swatted his arm. "Not right now. But I will."

"Okay. I believe you." Ryland kept smiling at her, bubbling with alcohol and company. "Thank you. Can I have a hug?"

Eva sighed. "Do we have to?"

Ryland laughed. "I could start crying again, if that would help."

Most of their hugs were awkward side pats from Eva as he cried about his latest life failure. She wasn't particularly affectionate at the best of times, but Ryland was pretty sure he was wearing her down. Like an ocean tide over rocks.

In her winter coat and scarf, she opened her arms carefully, and he kept the silly grin on his face and he stepped into her grasp. He insisted on swaying back and forth, because this was a happy hug damn it, and he was going to enjoy it. Eva gave a light huff in his ear, a win in his books, and after a long minute rested her cheek against his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Ryland Grace." Eva said, quietly. "May you get all the happiness you deserve."

Ryland squeezed her, and felt so happy. "You too. Thank you."

[]

"Have you chosen your thesis topic yet?"

"Good morning, Eva." Ryland said, face-down in his pillow.

"Good morning, Ryland." Eva's voice said, five thousand miles away. She was typing away at her computer. "Have you chosen your thesis topic yet?"

Ryland groaned. "I know you know how time-zones work."

"And I also know you have an eight AM class and should be awake already."

"How did you get my schedule? Never mind, I'm sure I don't want to know. I can still make it." He glanced at the time and grimaced. Okay, maybe he was cutting it a little short. He stood up and started hunting for clothes. "Why are you so invested in my thesis, anyway? The extent of your knowledge on molecular biology is restricted to Rosalind Franklin."

"As she deserves." Eva defended coolly. "And am I not allowed to be interested in my best friend's academic pursuit?"

Ryland took a moment to jump up and down, pumping his fist in the air at being called her best friend.

"Stop that. Don't you dare." Eva's voice cut in.

"Yippee!" Ryland said.

Eva sighed so deeply. It was like she was in the room with him pinching her brow between two fingers. Not five thousand miles away.

"I know you're just saying that because you know it'll make me answer you but I'm taking it as a win anyway." Ryland declared, pulling his jeans on. "I was thinking about exploring the foundations of life, but it's a pretty heavy field. Why?"

"Why do you assume I have an ulterior motive?"

"You're being weird about this." Ryland defended, because she was.

"And what about your dissertation?"

"My — since when am I getting a doctorate?"

"Of course you're getting a doctorate."

Ryland was oddly touched that she believed in him with such certainty. But it was inconvenient at 8AM in the morning. "I'd have to have something worth doing original research on for a doctorate."

"You don't have an idea already?" Eva's prompt key clicking paused in the background.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryland asked.

"Let me know when you figure it out." Eva said instead of answering. "You're late for class."

"And who's fault is that." Ryland grumbled, fumbling to shove his laptop in his bag. "Alright byeee best friend — no take backs!"

She hung up on him. With love, he presumed.

[]

Ryland got about twelve hours' notice for Eva's arrival. She called while he was eating Chinese food from the container in his underwear, like the huge loser he was.

"You will be picking me up from the airport at seven-thirty." Eva told him.

Ryland glanced at the watch he wasn't wearing, then had to pull his phone away from his face to see the time. "I am? Wait — you're coming? What's the occasion?"

"You do still have my car, right?" Eva asked, instead of answering.

"Yes, I still have your car." Ryland said, long-suffering. Before she'd moved back home she taught him to drive twice a week then left him her little Volkswagen Beetle for cheap. "What's got the most important person in the world coming all the way over the ocean just to see me?"

"I have a meeting in Boston." Eva replied. She didn't deny 'the most important person in the world' thing. Ryland knew she was dominating at the ESA even after only a few years, but he'd never doubted her for a second. "I'm making a stop."

They hadn't seen each other since she left, though the ache of it wasn't nearly as bad because she did, in fact, call him every week. Sometimes multiple times a week. Anyone who knew them might think Ryland was the clingy one, and he was gleeful that it was almost never him who had to initiate contact.

Ryland waited at the airport gate with two coffees in hand. Even though it was almost eight AM and he was exhausted from his rabbit-hole research the night before, he didn't dare take a sip from either. He knew what Eva was about.

She strode off the plane with a long coat hung over her arm and the only sign of disarray a slight scrunch of her hair on one side. She didn't smile when she spotted Ryland, but her pace increased half a step and she walked straight towards him.

"There's my favourite human!" Ryland greeted, holding the coffees out first. He knew her priorities.

"Ryland." Eva said, and took both coffees, taking a long sip from one. "Thank you for picking me up."

"Are you kidding?" Ryland bounced on his heels, hands in his pockets. He was full of giddy energy of no sleep and lots of ideas. "I'm so glad you're here. I've had a breakthrough."

"Oh?" Eva set down her coffees so she could shrug her jacket on, giving him a curious look. Expectant.

"The Goldilocks zone is a ridiculous idea!" Ryland told her. "Think about it — are we so narrow minded that we assume our situation is the baseline for all existence? A few hundred years ago we didn't even know evolution existed, and now scholars assume we've discovered everything there is to know?"

Eva smiled. An actual smile. Then she said, "It's good to see you."

Ryland could've exploded with happiness. Instead he opened his arms in offer, and squeezed her tight when she stepped into the hug. "I've got enough ideas to complete my thesis and my dissertation at this rate. I've got so many thoughts about it."

"I can't wait to hear." Eva said, and by God she sounded like she meant it. How did he ever get so lucky in the friend department? She pressed her nose into his shoulder for a short moment. Then pulled back, serious again. "We've got ten hours until I need to be back here for my flight to Boston. I want to see the bookstore you've been telling me about."

"Yes ma'am." Ryland saluted, bouncing on his heels again. "And I expect at least one more hug before you go, you missed out the last couple years."

Eva rolled her eyes, but Ryland was sure she wasn't actually upset about it.

[]

"I still don't understand why this is so important to you." Ryland said.

This was a common sentiment he'd come to expect from Eva after their many years of friendship. He followed along with her requests in a sort of bemusement by now, knowing arguing was useless.

"There may be situations in life where needing to wear glasses might have you at a disadvantage." Eva said, measured. She was typing an email on her phone as they sat together in the waiting room. They were the only two in their corner, and Ryland's knee was bouncing.

For his birthday Eva booked him a consult for laser eye surgery and paid for everything. Even showing up to be his person on the surgery day to guide him around afterwards, flying in all the way from Georgia. The country.

"It's sweet that you want me to have all the advantages I can." Ryland began.

"I'm not sweet." Eva interjected.

Ryland ignored her and kept going, "But like, it's a lot of money to pay just for that."

"Psh." Eva waved her hand. She didn't disclose how much money she made, however Ryland knew it was a lot. "Besides. What if your glasses break?"

"I'm in academia, Eva." Ryland said, bemused. "Where could I be that there wouldn't be an optometrist to fix that?"

Eva looked back at her phone, but her fingers didn't keep typing. After a long minute, she said instead of addressing that, "I want you to succeed."

"I want that too." Ryland bumped their shoulders together. "But maybe get me a card for my next birthday, okay? Or else the guilt of not being able to return the favour on my grad student lack of paycheck will get to me."

"I liked the scarf you knit me for my birthday." Eva said, prompt like she was offended on the scarf's behalf.

Ryland's face warmed. "Aw. Thanks."

They kept waiting together. Ryland's knee bounced. A person walked up to the receptionist. A dog walked past the window outside. The clock ticked.

"Do you think I will?" Ryland said, cautious.

Eva could effortlessly follow the garden path of his winding thoughts and said, "Succeed? Yes."

Ryland took off the glasses he wasn't going to need shortly and rubbed his face. "It's been… a lot, the last couple months. My thesis supervisor spends every meeting trying to talk me out of this research. And I… I don't know."

Eva very solemnly grabbed a magazine off the table and whacked him with it.

"Hey!"

"Stop that." Eva said. "You have an original idea. You're thinking outside the box. Do you know the linguist Daniel Everett?"

"No… wait. Yes. He's the one who studied the Pirahã language. And got exiled from his field by Noam Chomsky."

"Correct." Eva said. "He documented that the language did not show any features of recursion, which went against Chomsky's theory of universal grammar. Chomsky set the field against him simply because his observation did not fit the accepted norm. But Everett wasn't trying to disprove him, he was only trying to discuss what he'd found."

Ryland nodded along, knee still shaking, fingers knotted together. "So you're saying, don't think of it like trying to disprove everyone else, but to show what conclusions I've reached on my own."

"Yes. Stand up for yourself. Your ideas are worth hearing." Eva said.

Ryland wiped his eyes. "Don't make me cry right before I get my laser eyeballs."

Eva tossed the magazine back on the table. "Then you won't need my advice because you can just explode all your adversaries with a glance."

The rare Eva joke had Ryland laughing and shaking off his nerves right before they called him in.

[]

Ryland was laying in his childhood bed, crying.

It was mid-afternoon. The sun urged through the blinds, painting lines on the floor. Ryland hadn't moved from his spot in far too long. His phone had rung a million times before it finally ran out of battery. He had a paper due. He had taken on TA-ing one of his advisor’s classes and missed the last three office hours, let alone the stack of grading. His dissertation had revisions he hadn't even looked at.

None of it mattered in that moment because his grandmother was dead.

Her name was Iris. She'd worked as a receptionist for a family doctor her entire life, right up until the day she died. She kept ribbon candy at her desk and Ryland broke a tooth on one when he was ten. She taught him the value of hard work, consistency, and knitting. She also taught him there was never a wrong time for a bad joke, that being weird was the best way to live, and that he could do anything he wanted as long as he was kind.

Ryland loved her to death. She could never get vacations from work to visit, as there was always a staff shortage and she was dedicated to helping her doctors. But the last few Christmas holidays since Eva gave him her car, he'd driven home for the two days she had off and they'd drank grocery store wine and sang bad pop music together in the kitchen as they made a feast of macaroni and cheese.

He couldn't believe she was gone. It had felt like she was going to live forever, manning her clinic's reception desk until the end of time, remembering every patient by name and calling Ryland on the work phone during her break to make sure he'd watched the latest episode of their soap.

It was probably stupid, but Grace hadn't even considered that she might die. It unravelled his fabric of reality, because she was the singular constant throughout his life. And he was pretty sure he'd taken that for granted, because now he was completely unmoored, cast out to sea and abandoned. Sobbing in a twin bed ignoring all the work he'd built for himself to this point.

He didn't know how long he would've stayed there, and he didn't get to find out, because there was a tap on his bedroom door.

"Eva?" Ryland said, fairly sure he was hallucinating. She was wearing a zip up hoodie and her long hair was braided. She was supposed to be in Vienna.

"Hello Ryland." Eva said, quiet.

"How…" Ryland rubbed his eyes, wet and useless. How did she know his grandmother had died? How did she come all the way here? How did she find his childhood home? How did she know he needed her more than he'd ever needed anyone?

"There's a key under the doormat." Eva said. She raised a plastic bag in her hand. "I brought you soup. I spoke on the phone with the coroner and arranged a date with the funeral home. If you give me her address book, I can reach out to whoever needs to be contacted to attend the funeral."

He'd already been crying, but Ryland managed to burst into further tears. He pulled his knees up to his chest and sobbed into the knitted blanket over his lap.

Eva sighed. Her footsteps approached, setting the plastic bag down beside them and sinking the bed as she sat on his left.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Eva said, still quiet. Matter of fact. He'd lost something, and she was sorry for it.

The steadiness was unravelling. In the last few days of falling apart in his childhood home, he'd truly felt like he'd been taken apart in pieces and strewn out in the road. Squishy and fragile and so painfully alone. He hadn't even begun to think about her body, let alone a funeral, and the overwhelm of it all was proof in the ignored calls on his phone. He couldn't deal with it.

But Eva could. And she was here. When he pitifully turned his body-wrenching sobs in her direction, she rubbed his back and hummed. Unmoved by his display of emotion, not the first time but surely the worst. His world was falling apart. But he trusted Eva could help him put it back together. He was so lucky to have her.

"I'm dehydrated just looking at you." Eva said, after a while, pulling him back and thrusting the soup upon him. "Have the soup."

Ryland gave a broken chuckle at her obvious discomfort at his emotions. But she was still here. "Okay. Are you — did you — um."

Eva raised a brow, waiting for a coherent question.

"Are you missing anything important?" Ryland asked, meeker than he'd ever heard himself.

Eva scoffed at him, like the question was ridiculous. She didn't elaborate further.

"Okay." Ryland said again, lamely.

"Soup." Eva insisted. "Anything else can be later."

Ryland exhaled shakily. His fingers trembled as he pried off the lid, but the broth was still hot and the perfect amount of salt to replenish all his heartsick crying.

Three days later, Ryland attended his grandmother's funeral with Eva at his side. She organized everything down to the flowers and the shine on his dress shoes.

"Your girlfriend is very sweet." Dr. Hui, who'd worked with his grandmother and also had been Ryland's own doctor for his whole life, said to him after the ceremony.

"My what?" Ryland said, still too stunned to really compute something so nonsensical.

"The beautiful young lady who hasn't left your side all day." Dr. Hui's kind smile, softened with grief, still lit up her laugh lines. "I spoke with her on the phone. She must care for you very much to handle all of this hullabaloo. Had you ever introduced her to Iris? She never mentioned anyone."

Ryland stared at her for a long moment, eventually catching up that she was referring to Eva as his girlfriend. "Oh. Eva's my best friend. We're not… that."

"Sorry for presuming." Dr. Hui actually sounded apologetic, unlike all the others in his life who pushed him into the romantic norm. "What a wonderful world to have a best friend with that much care. I hope you two can stay close forever."

It was too much for that particular day. His throat closed and he nodded woodenly.

Eva returned to his side with a water of bottle. He accepted it silently. Dr. Hui offered her hand for Eva to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Eva." Dr. Hui said, warm smile glowing.

"You as well." Eva said, neutral. "And thank you for attending today. Ryland really appreciates it."

Ryland nodded mutely, like he'd done the dozens of other times she'd taken over the whole 'people-ing' thing for him already.

"Oh, Iris would've loved you. I've spent a lot of time patching this kid up for her over the years." Dr. Hui pat his shoulder and gave him an affectionate squeeze. "She'd be truly grateful to have someone out there taking care of him now."

Eva's composure broke a little. Not that a stranger would notice, but Ryland caught the way her lip twitched and the nervous swallow. She said, "Thank you for saying so. Excuse us."

"You okay?" Ryland asked quietly, as they fled.

"Don't you ask me that right now." Eva snapped back with no heat. Then exhaled, heavy. "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. Come, someone's brought photos and I'd think you'd like to see them."

Ryland let himself be led, too emotionally fried to dig any deeper.

[]

When Ryland had passed his dissertation, he called Eva to tell her the good news. But he didn't even get a word in before she answered the phone by saying, "Hello Dr. Grace," like she'd been waiting a very long time to say it.

His career in academia hadn't been easy. The loss of his grandmother had put a real dent in his mental health, but even as Eva was conquering the world, she still had groceries delivered to his house and weekly phone calls and emails back and forth with her editing his replies to respond to criticism professionally.

But by now, he'd established himself as an alternative thinker in the molecular biology field, focusing on speculations rooted in open mindedness for the potential of unique life. That didn't stop the critics, but it at least kept him from being written off as a pseudo-scientist. He explored cases of evolution that led to life in miraculous places like the bottom of the ocean and argued for expanding their criteria for possible existence beyond their narrow spectrum. They couldn't assume they were the only blueprint! It was egotistical and —

Anyway. By the time he was invited to the UNESCO conference in Denmark, he was a side-eyed but respected scholar. So he was surprised to arrive at the airport and find Eva waiting to pick him up.

"Eva!" Ryland dropped his bag and opened his arms for a hug immediately. "What the heck, you didn't tell me you were coming!"

Eva allowed the hug, patting his back and giving an exhale of surprise when he briefly lifted her off her feet in a squeeze. "I was in the area."

"You were just in Morroco?" Ryland said.

Eva merely pat his back until he released her, then she smoothly fixed her hair out of the disarray he'd incurred on her perfect mysterious figure. The luck of being the only one to get the gift of getting underneath her layers.

"I thought it might be a good opportunity." Eva said. "Networking."

"Networking." Ryland repeated. He didn't often doubt Eva, as she knew everything, but this was a new one for him. He was reasonably suspicious and confused why she would bother with subterfuge when she never usually cared for it. "Eva, I told you I'm doing fine. I'm not letting the haters get to me. I'm eating and sleeping and my supervisor has been talking about letting me maybe take on a Bio 100 level class myself. Things are good. I'm good."

He didn't quite understand the doubt, the double-checking she'd been doing, the metaphorical hovering. He didn't know what she thought was going to happen to him. It made him feel like she knew something he didn't, and he didn't like that.

"I know." Eva replied. She pulled her curtain of orange-blonde hair to the other shoulder. It was a nervous tick. Strange.

Ryland deflected with a joke, since she wasn't cracking, smiling wide, "If you missed me, you could just say so."

"I always miss you." Eva said, plain as can be.

"Aw." Ryland couldn't be helped if he teared up a little at that. It had been a long couple of years, alright?

"You ridiculous man." Eva said, as she pulled out a handkerchief, but it was blandly fond.

"I'm your ridiculous man." Ryland sniffed and dabbed at his eyes. "BFF's forever."

"You just said 'best friends forever forever'."

Ryland laughed. He picked up his bag and said, "Let's get a taxi together then, since you're here. Ever had Danish food?"

"Yes."

"Well that's great, because I haven't." Ryland said, cheerily and only a little damp. He hooked arms with Eva and was ecstatic that she allowed it, feeling like a completed part of a whole again. "What do you recommend?"

She stayed at his side the whole conference. It seemed like maybe she was waiting for something, but nothing really happened. They both made some new network connections. He heard the words 'power couple' a few times and wondered if there was a word other than 'couple' for the special kind of relationship he had with Eva. And they parted ways once more at the airport, the tension falling out of Eva's shoulders slowly.

[]

"Are we going to die?"

The other end of the phone gave a quiet sigh. He heard Eva excuse herself. He had no idea where she was right now or what time, but it was four AM for him and he hadn't slept a moment.

"You think I know the answer to that?" Eva asked, once the noise behind her sealed off with a shut door.

"Don't you?" Ryland asked, because she knew everything.

He couldn't get the data out of his head. As a scientist, he knew better than anyone that the dimming of the sun was a very, very bad thing. But he had three classes to teach tomorrow and some incredibly smart students who were going to ask him questions. About their futures and their lives and —

All these young souls he taught day in and day out, roping them into the world of molecular biology and the gift of science and curiosity, and he couldn't even promise anymore that there was a point to their university career, if they were all going to die —

"Dr. Grace." Eva said, like an order. His quickened breathing stopped. "Have you ever known humanity to take anything lying down?"

That was exactly what he wanted her to say. The tight band loosened around his chest. "What can you tell me?"

"I could tell you a lot, if you wanted to help." Eva said.

Ryland blinked and stared at his popcorn ceiling. "Me?"

"I thought we'd been working on your self esteem, Dr. Grace." Eva said. Keyboard clicking again in the background. Always working. "I certainly think you'd be qualified."

In the last few years some of his students had taken him as their PHD advisor and he'd started a community of like-minded scholars who were building a corpus of articles and studies on the concept of something slowly being coined as the Expanded Evolution Theory. One of his students, a sly jokester named Lila was calling it Grace's Law, and to his horror it was catching on.

"I'm not sure that the sun dimming is within the molecular biology spectrum." Ryland said, uncomfortable still after all these years. Eva could try all she'd like to hype him up, she was his biggest and sometimes only supporter. The critics continued to voice their loud and powerful dissent.

"That remains to be seen." Eva replied. "I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, go back to sleep. When you need to worry, I'll tell you."

"Heh." Ryland ran his hand down his face. "It's terrible you know that it actually makes me feel better. What would I do without you?"

"Explode at a colleague at a conference and get expelled from academia and become a middle school teacher." Eva said, promptly.

"Wow, you've thought about that way too hard." Ryland laughed. "Middle schoolers might not vape in class, though. Maybe I should switch."

"Let's not joke."

"Do you remember who you're talking to?"

Ryland earned his second sigh in one conversation.

"You're the best. Love you!" He said, half to bug her, half achingly serious.

"I am in a public setting." Eva replied.

"Aw, but if you weren't, you say, 'I love you too', right."

"You have the scientific capacity to make an educated guess." Eva replied, which was a yes. Score. "Good night, Dr. Grace. I'll see you soon."

"Good night, Eva Stratt. You'll — wait, what?" But she'd already hung up on him.

[]

Ryland was teaching his favourite class when he saw Eva sitting in the back row.

She wasn't taking notes, or on her phone. She was merely sitting with two coffees on the corner desk and her hands folded over her raised knee. She was listening intently, and when their eyes met, she gave a little twitch at the corner of her mouth.

It was time, then. As he wrapped up the class he said, "If you have any questions, I'll direct you to my TA. I might have something coming up this week and I don't want to accidentally ghost any of you."

The class emptied. Eva walked in the opposite direction of the flow exiting to come to the front of the lecture hall with her coffee.

"The ArcLight probe splashed down this morning." Eva said.

"Where do you need me?" Ryland asked, already packing his laptop into his bag in anticipation.

Eva looked pleased. "We've got everything set up and waiting. You're going to get the first look."

"Geez, Eva. You don't have to give me any favouritism, you know." Ryland rubbed the back of his neck.

"I need a molecular biologist who is not afraid of pushing boundaries. I would be at your door either way."

"Aw, twist my arm." Ryland smiled at her. "Let's get cracking then, the world is waiting."

Eva smiled back.

[]

"Eva, you've talked me into some things over the years, but this one really doesn't make sense."

"Yes, it does."

Ryland waited for the explanation. When it didn't follow, he laughed, and said, "It doesn't make sense just because you say so! Your influence doesn't go that far."

The two of them had just left their latest meeting. As the world's leading expert on Astrophage, Ryland found himself in a lot of meetings. He preferred the lab he'd been given and absolute free reign on projects and ideas for their Hail Mary. Plus the crew they were working with were dedicated and intelligent and friendly. It truly felt like all the puzzle pieces of his life were falling into place, like this was always where he was meant to be, doing what he was meant to be doing.

Except, perhaps, astronaut training.

"What's wrong with supervising the training? You can see if there's anything we haven't considered." Eva added.

"Big, big, huge, enormous difference between supervising and participating." Ryland told her, dancing around to walk backwards and face her. "Seriously. Not doing it. Look at me, I'm serious."

"It builds character." Eva said, unphased by his antics.

Ryland couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh, because she was truly ridiculous. "Eva, come on! You know I can barely tolerate an elevator." He dropped that last part to a whisper. He didn't need the whole Vat to know.

"Dr. Grace." Eva replied, stopping and forcing him to stop too, least he back-track further away from her. "Humour me?"

"That's a big ask." Ryland said. It was funny, actually. That was something she'd said in the meeting. They had been discussing the coma slurry, and Eva had asked if it could be modified to have a pleasant taste. Dr. Lamai had inquired why, since coma patients don't care, and Eva had said the same, 'Humour me.'

Since she was the most powerful human in the world, the request was taken on board immediately. But Ryland wasn't looking at the most powerful human in the world right now, he was looking at his best friend.

"I think that the experience could help." Eva insisted. "I'm open to bribery. What do you want?"

"Not to do it?"

Eva waited expectantly. Curse her.

"I don't think we have the time to spare." Ryland tried again.

"I'm not talking about anything extensive. Just enough to make you comfortable knowing what an astronaut needs." Eva's voice wove into the cracks of his resolve, like it always did.

Ryland sighed loudly and dramatically. "Okay, but you know I'm going to complain the whole time."

"Thank you, Dr. Grace." Eva said.

"Yeah, yeah, you owe me lunch. And none of those rat sandwiches."

"What?"

"Oh, haven't you heard? The kitchen—"

[]

"Eva?"

Ryland watched his best friend not even react to the call of her name. It was strange and completely unlike her. He waved a hand in front of her face, and she jumped, eyes flicking up to him with a brief, haunted look.

"Woah, you okay?" Ryland bravely touched her arm, giving a gentle squeeze. He offered a nervous but reassuring smile. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I…" Eva's mouth closed and she shook her head. After a hesitating moment, she grabbed his hand and squeezed back, then dislodged the touch. "I'm fine. My apologies, I was lost in thought."

"Oh yeah?" It was strange, after all these years of friendship, she never seemed to have any doubts, any hesitations on what she needed to do or any angsting over decisions. She'd helped him probably a thousand times with his own indecision, so it was a guilty amount of giddiness that he wanted to return the favour. "What's rattling around in the most important brain in the world?"

Eva didn't reply. The two of them were alone in her office, working side by side, the fearsome duo combined to save the world. For the millionth time he felt so lucky that she'd approached him back on his first day of university orientation, like it was a predestined path to give him this amazing purpose in life.

Ryland put his laptop aside and pulled his chair closer. "You can talk to me. Heaven knows I could use to return the favour. You've done everything for me. Let me help, let me listen."

Eva's gaze slowly raised to meet his eye. He smiled again, as charming and warm as he could be. And to his surprise, he visibly watched Eva chicken out, turning away and saying, "I was thinking about the beetles. Do you think we should account for more space inside to send something back? We can't assume it's only information that would need to be returned."

Disappointment flooded, but he let it go. "Of course, I'll talk to the team. Let me know if you need anything else."

When Eva returned to her work, her fingers didn't move across the keyboard and her gaze stayed locked in one place.

[]

Ryland was worried.

Eva had been off for a while, and being at the cosmodrome only made it worse. It was perplexing, because everything he knew about Eva told him that she would only become steadier in times of pressure, not less. He tried his best to help her — insisting on occasional hugs, bringing her extra coffee, staying close to her side as much as possible — but it only seemed to make things worse. He didn't know what to do.

In all their years of friendship, she was the stable consistent in his life. The one who pushed him to be bigger and better than he ever felt he could've been on his own. To improve himself, to be bold and brave and confident. And he didn't know what to do with an Eva who was faltering at the last steps, because it went against everything he knew. He wanted to help her as much as she helped him. He didn't want to lose her to whatever damage this impossible situation was causing internally.

Four days before the launch, he knocked on her quarters door with champagne and two mugs hooked on his thumb.

Eva opened the door with a dark shadow over her face and orange-blonde hair knotted up with a pen on the top of her head. She stared at him and his goofy smile and offered champagne and her expression crumbled further.

"Aw, Eve." Ryland knew she hated nicknames but this one slipped out, wrenched in sympathy and compassion. He said, coaxing, "Come on, I couldn't have you drinking alone."

Eva exhaled shakily, then let him inside. Her quarters were in uncharacteristic disarray. When he used to visit in university she had her room neat down to her sock drawer. Now it looked like a stranger lived there.

"Champagne?" Eva said, clearing papers off her chair to sit. "I seem to remember your hungover phone call after you got your teaching position that you were never drinking champagne again."

"We're celebrating, aren't we?" Ryland coaxed. "It's almost over."

"It's not over yet." Eva said, but didn't turn away the mug when he handed it to her. In fact, she took a long gulp with almost desperation.

"Not much left to do but launch." Ryland swirled his mug but didn't take a sip. Okay, maybe it really did still taste like overindulgence to him. "Are you… scared? Of what comes next?"

He thought about all the things they'd done to get to this point and how there was still a yawning gap of thirty years before there were any results to justify their means. And Eva was the figurehead of it all. But Eva and fear in the same sentence just didn't make any sense.

Ryland was missing something, he was sure of it. He watched Eva stare into the middle distance, gaze dark and hollow.

"Can I propose a hypothetical to you?" Eva said eventually.

"Hit me." Ryland said, perhaps too eager, but desperate to help.

"If you were given a second chance to fix something, would you change the circumstances even if there's a chance it might break something else?"

Ryland thought about it for a minute. "I suppose it would depend on the weight of each side. Is it more important to fix or not to break?"

Eva put her head in her hands. It was alarming. Ryland set down his mug and knelt in front of her. "Hey, hey, it's okay. What's really going on?"

Shuddering from head to toe, Eva shored her shoulders higher by her ears. She said, muffled through her fingers. "I know it's more important not to break what worked the first time. But why was I given a second chance then?"

Ryland stared at her, brow furrowed, mystified, and rested a careful hand on her arm. He had no idea what she was talking about. Something to do with the launch? But why would it be tearing her up so much?

Eva jumped at the touch and looked at him. Her eyes were glossy.

"What can I do to help?" Ryland asked, helpless. Pleading.

Eva's fingers tightened until her knuckles went white. Her gaze stayed locked on him for an almost uncomfortable amount of time, then she said, "Can you collect the science team in the morning for a refresher on Astrophage handling?"

It was out of left field. It should've felt completely random, but somehow the weight of her words made the question seem bigger than it was. With equal care, he said, "Yeah, of course. anything you need."

Eva shuddered again. She reached for her mug and refilled it with champagne.

Ryland took his own, raising it to hers. "To the future?"

"To the future, hopefully there is one. God help us." Eva tapped it against his. "Tell me, why have you stayed friends with me all these years, Dr. Grace?"

That wasn't an easy answer to sum up in words. Ryland sputtered, "Because you're the best? Duh?"

Her quarters were quiet. She got up and sat on the edge of her bed instead, patting beside her. Ryland easily took the spot, taking up her left as easy as breathing.

"Would you still be my friend if I made the wrong choice?" Eva asked, so quiet he almost couldn't hear her. "If it cost us the world?"

"Eva, come on."

"I'm serious."

"I know you are, it's just ridiculous. You've done more than anyone. And now we simply have to trust in the process. Believe in the Hail Mary. And if that doesn't work out, I'm still going to be your best friend until the end of time." Ryland promised, feeling strangely giddy that Eva would ever need that kind of reassurance from him.

Eva exhaled slowly. "Then maybe it will be worth it."

[]

"I don't understand." Eva said.

"It seems that they mixed up the measurements—" The analyst began.

But Eva didn't let him finish. "I don't understand. They just had a refresher on Astrophage handling. How could this have happened?"

"I—I don't know." The analyst stammered. "I can't exactly — exactly ask them now?"

Ryland leaned over the footage. He grimaced. It was one of the lab techs, who'd slept in that morning and hadn't attended the refresher. He voiced this thought to Eva, including, "I guess he was off his game and tired. That's… ridiculously unfortunate."

"Ridiculously." Eva echoed, turning pale, and lowering herself back down her to chair. She waved a flippant hand at the analyst and said, "Leave now."

"Thank you for your help." Ryland added, and made sure to shut the door behind him. Then he turned back to his best friend. He knew this wasn't what she needed right now, already having some kind of stress induced meltdown the night before. "Alright, what do we need to do to move forward?"

An aching pause hung before Eva looked up at him. "I can't do this."

Ryland looked back. He almost said, do what?

Then he thought about it. And he knew the answer. A chill fell over him. "Oh."

"I don't want to lose you." Eva whispered, stilted and wooden.

Ryland sat down. His limbs were numb. His eyes began to water and obscure his sight, the vision of his best friend. "No."

"I—I tried so hard. To prepare you this time. But now I'm the one who's not prepared."

He was numb numb numb. "I. I can't."

"You're the only one who's trained. Who knows the mission inside out. More people die the longer we wait. You have to." Eva said, like the words hurt her. "I tried but I can't keep you even if I wanted to, there's someone waiting for you. You have to go. I'm sorry, Ryland. You have to."

The numbness spread inwards towards his heart. "I can't, Eva. I can't."

"God, please don't make me do this again." Eva looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly.

Ryland wanted to hug her. Instead he gripped his chest and left her office, mind racing, heart stuttering, disbelief and fear and confusion and —

He understood the logic. But it was too much to ask. He didn't want to die. He couldn't just — he couldn't just throw his life away. He was supposed to be at Eva's side after it all. They did this together. They were going to face the fall out together. He wanted to go back to his university and teach his students and raise the next generation of scientists to be curious and kind and think big. He wanted to keep living.

Ryland took himself outside and sat with his back against the hard wall, looking up at the cloudy sky. No sun. It was going to get darker. And colder. And then all his students, all his future students, they would suffer and die. Catastrophic environmental events. No one would be safe.

Eva could die. If he chose to stay, he might lose her anyway. And then he would have to live with knowing he could've saved her and didn't.

He pulled at his hair. It was a truly impossible decision. He couldn't do it. He couldn't.

… he couldn't not do it.

That was the problem. Ryland knew what he had to do. He knew he was the only one who could do it. He knew the project inside out, he knew that waiting to train someone new would lead to innumerable deaths. He could do it if it meant his best friend got to live.

He sat there for a long time, staring at the clouds.

By the time he returned to Eva's office, she was tapping rapidly at her computer, phone between her shoulder and ear. She looked up at him and her expression flashed with immeasurable pain.

Ryland was sure he looked the same. He said, quiet, "Hang up the phone."

"I'm seeing if there's someone else." Eva said, strained.

"There isn't. Hang up the phone."

After a moment of aching eye contact, Eva hung up the phone and tossed it aside. Her hand was shaking. "I can find another solution."

"I am the solution." Ryland stated, numb.

"You don't want to do this." Eva said. Torn in two.

"I don't." Ryland agreed. "But I will."

The silence hung heavy and thick and loaded. His hands were shaking too.

Her phone rang on the desk. Eva silenced it without looking. She closed her laptop and stood, approaching Ryland and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

Ryland hugged back just as hard, hand in orange-blonde hair, squeezing his eyes shut and memorizing how it felt. To be loved by Eva Stratt.

"You'll have to put me out early. I'm not doing that launch while awake." Ryland whispered, the idea of willingly sitting through that horror show just beyond his bravery.

Eva choked a sound, then said, "I can do that."

"Are you crying?" Ryland asked.

"Absolutely not." Eva said, face hidden, with a sniff. "I would never put you out of a job."

That only made their hug tighter. He never wanted to let go. But after all these years of Eva doing everything for him, giving him companionship and care and organization and motivation — he wanted to give her everything back. To save her.

Ryland wouldn't see it, but when his body was loaded on the elevator to the launch, Eva stayed by his side the whole time, holding his unconscious hand.

[]

"What the heck is this?"

"Is box." Rocky said, helpfully.

Ryland turned the box around in his hands. It was plain and simple, with sharpie written on the lid that merely said, 'OPEN WHEN SUCCESSFUL' in achingly familiar handwriting.

"Oh." Ryland said, running his fingers over the letters. "It's from Eva."

"Grace's ♬♫♬♪?" Rocky said. They hadn't come up with a translation for the concept, but apparently in Eridian there was something like mates but platonic and so, so important. When he had first tried to explain Eva, Rocky had offered the word, and Ryland had latched on desperately. Yes. That was what they were. So, so important.

The two of them were tying up loose ends, getting ready to go their separate ways. Ryland supposed that counted as 'successful', and opened the box. There was a USB stick inside. It was in the shape of a champagne bottle. A smile tweaked the corner of his mouth, equally nostalgic and painful, and moved to Mary's computer to plug the drive in.

"What is that, question?" Rocky stumbled closer in his ball, bopping Ryland's shins.

"She sent me a message." Ryland queued up the only file, a video. "For when we succeeded."

"Grace's ♬♫♬♪ always knew would succeed." Rocky said, like he was proud too.

"Yeah. She believed in me." Ryland fondly recalled, getting a little choked up.

He hit play. Eva sat at her desk. She looked exactly how he'd last seen her, she must've recorded it the same day. Her eyes were still red.

"Hello Ryland." Brisk. Matter of fact.

"Hi Eva." Ryland replied needlessly, feeling his tears well up.

"Leaky leaky." Rocky said, but it sounded like he was just trying to break tension.

"Congratulations." Eva said, and swallowed hard. "Thank you. You know I will always miss you."

"Miss you too." Ryland sniffed.

Then Eva smiled a little. And said, "Hello Rocky."

Rocky physically jumped in his ball. Ryland's heart skipped a physical beat and said, incredulous, "What the heck?"

"What the fuck, question?" Rocky said.

"This is my best friend." Eva's smile widened, like she knew they'd be freaking out. "Please take care of him for me."

Then the video shut off.

Ryland stood up and leaned against the keyboard. "You're kidding me. How did she know? How did she know?"

"Amaze amaze amaze." Rocky waved all his arms around. "Grace's ♬♫♬♪ is amaze!"

"That's impossible." Ryland breathed, and then laughed, running a hand down his face. "What the heck, Eva! Come on! You can't do that to me."

He was thinking about all the moments he wrote off, all the weird knowledge she had, and kept laughing until he cried. Rocky leaned into his side, still singing her praises.