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Blue stares wide-eyed at his mom, jaw slack.
"Momma, what did you just say to me?" asks Blue seriously as he looks at her.
"I said that you are the reason that I have to do this," replies Dixie as she waves her hand in the air. "You're insecure! That's the whole problem, Blue! If you weren't so damn insecure in everything, I wouldn't have to fight for my place as your fucking Mother!"
"Insecure?! I'm not insecure, you're fucking manipulative!" snaps Blue as he raises his voice for the first time at Dixie, his eyes filling with tears as his anger takes over. "You think everything has to go your way, and you're so pissed that Dad chose Blythe, that you keep fucking it all up! We were fine! Until you used me to try and baby trap Dad. We were actually getting somewhere!"
"Blue, don't you talk to me like that," sneers Dixie as she steps forward, a finger pointed in his face. "You have no idea what I've had to do because of that bitch! And your dad is a coward too. Where do you think you get that shit? Huh? Cause it sure as hell ain't from the Bennings' side."
"You chose to do that because you couldn't accept that Dad is in love with Blythe!" sneers Blue as he gently pushes her finger out of his face. "Momma, you did this to yourself, and now you want me to fit into your shitty box. Well, it's not going to happen. Whatever you have going on with them has nothing to do with me, but if you want to ruin my relationship with my father, then you'll ruin ours too."
"Are you threatening me?" asks Dixie, her eyes blown wide as she looks at him.
"No, Momma, I'm not threatening you. But I finally understand why you've done and continue to do all this," replies Blue with a weak laugh as he steps back, tears sliding down his cheeks. "It has never been about me, about your son and his happiness. No, of course not. How could Dixie Bennings ever care about anything other than herself? You made the choice to try to drag Dad back into your orbit, then you made the choice to keep me from him because he wouldn't come back"
"Blue, you know damn well—" Blue doesn't let her get the sentence out as he chokes on a snort.
No, Momma, you just keep going, don't you?" asks Blue as he continues, his interruption loud voice cracking and all as he stares her down. She's pale, tears are sliding down her cheeks, but Blue can't stop. "Because now that I have him in my life, you want to tear everything apart because you fucked up and your actions are back to haunt you. Don't think I'm playing favorites. Dad should've worn protection, and I hate that I'm saying that, but you lied, Mom. You're both guilty, but he hasn't been actively trying to tear us apart. He and Blythe convinced me to try to call you on my birthday because they understood how sad I was. They're the reason I called. But you don't give a shit about that, do you? It doesn't matter in your narrative because you were scorned, right Momma?"
"Blue, I didn't—" Dixie tries to speak, hand trembling as she raises it to her chest.
"Don't Momma," says Blue as he steps back again. "Just fucking don't."
Blue turns and leaves the studio, shoving the door open harder than he ever has before. He can't listen to his Momma talk anymore.
He can't say anymore.
He just can't do this anymore today.
It's not until he gets to the car that his Dad and Blythe bought him that he realizes his phone is vibrating in his pocket.
Blue tugs it out and groans when he sees Ry's face on the screen, then he answers it just before it can go to voicemail again.
"Hello?"
"Blue, where are you?" asks Ryan loudly, voice filled with panic.
"At my Momma's studio," replies Blue as his brows furrow. "Why're you asking that?"
"I need to see you," his voice goes quiet, cracking. "Mom and Dad are… They're not okay. None of us are okay."
"Add Momma and I to that list. I just got into a big argument with her," replies Blue softly as he starts the car. "Where are you at? I'll come get you."
"At their house. I'm at the end of the driveway. I took off and then stopped," says Ryan with a laugh that's all pain and no humor. "How soon can you get here?"
"Give me twenty? Do you want to stay on the phone and talk?" asks Blue as he presses down on the gas.
"I don't think I can talk yet, but staying on the phone sounds nice," replies Ryan wetly as Blue pulls onto the road.
"Okay, well, I have one question that I hope you will answer before we just exist on the phone. If that's okay?" Blue's voice is gentle as he hits the gas properly now that he's on a free road that goes for miles before there's a single stop sign.
"We'll see if I do," Ryan's voice holds amusement despite the way it cracks.
"Where did Sam go?" asks Blue quietly because he knows that Ryan and Sam were going to Blythe and Don's today.
They were supposed to be doing lunch according to the invite text he'd received in the group chat where she put his name down to make sure he got notified about it.
"We were announcing the divorce," Ryan's voice is quiet, a little broken, a little bruised. But quiet. "Everything was settled recently, but the process started last month. She left to catch her flight. She's leaving for Arizona in half an hour."
"I thought you two were working things out," says Blue quietly, his heart pounding into his throat. "I'm sorry it didn't happen."
"Don't apologize," replies Ryan with a cool chuckle. "I knew it wouldn't work two weeks into trying to make it happen. My heart didn't belong to her anymore."
"At least you know what you want," murmurs Blue with a hollow laugh.
"Do you not?" asks Ryan in confusion.
"In some cases, I do," replies Blue as he turns onto the road of Don and Blythe's driveway. "But in others, I don't. That's not important though. I'm here."
Blue pulls across the driveway, watching as Ryan walks to the car, ending the call, and he waits for Ryan to get in.
"So, where should we go?" asks Ryan as he settles into the passenger seat comfortably, almost like he was made to sit in it.
"Somewhere I can scream, probably. But since you're coming with me, I'll let you choose. What did you have in mind, Ry?" asks Blue as he prepares to pull away from the Hart mansion.
"Head for the windmills, it's a twenty minute drive, but once we get there, it'll be just us. We can scream all we want without any problems," replies Ryan softly as he reaches a hand over and pats Blue's thigh before drawing it back to himself.
"Alright, Ry, be my guide," says Blue softly as he pulls onto the road steadily.
Silence guides the drive, Ryan points out when to turn, marking how close they are from pure experience of the drive itself. But otherwise, the only noise that's heard is the rumbling of the car and crunching gravel.
"I'm not your biological brother," says Ryan as they drive up to a windmill. "Or at least, not entirely. DNA says I am, but it also says I'm the son of someone else. I don't get it, but apparently, it's possible? It's called tetragametic chimerism."
"That's why they were fighting," whispers Blue softly, surprise echoing through him. "Don found out."
"After he apparently was supposed to meet your mom yesterday," replies Ryan with a sigh as he lets his head lean against the dash. "This whole situation is a fucking mess."
"Sounds like it. My mom must have blackmailed him into it though. There's no way he'd ever consider it otherwise," says Blue thoughtfully, though he's not even sure if he believes his own words.
He's seen the way Don looks at his mom.
Like he's still in love with her.
"Kind of, but he actually agreed to the deal because he was jealous," huffs Ryan with a shake of his head. "There was blackmail involved, the song obviously, but honestly, Mom said that she feels like dad can't ever get out of your mom's orbit. She's— She was talking about divorce."
"I guess it would make sense," sighs Blue as he shuts the car off. "It would end up similar with Blythe, I would think? Love makes people dumb sometimes, but I think in this case, his heart is actually, completely, divided in two."
"Which isn't right!" Ryan's irritation grows as he sits back and looks at Blue. "He shouldn't be divided. His heart knows who he belongs with, and yet he's basically been leading them both on. He's causing the hurt."
"He is, and I won't defend it," says Blue quietly, his chest hurting a bit because "But I think they both were there at specific points in time, where he needed a new purpose. That's probably why he can't separate it. The feelings in his chest. He needs therapy."
"Damn right he does," grumbles Ryan as he shakes his head again. "Sorry, I've been ranting about those two, and I didn't even ask what happened between you and your mom. I'm pretty good at listening, if you'd like to tell me."
"Nothing good," somehow, Blue feels more hollow than he had before as the chuckle falls from lips that curve into something tired. "She was pissed at me for not going along with her. She wanted me to sing on the track, then she wanted me to help promote it. I told her no, asked why she was even doing this in the first place, and it somehow turned into my fault for being insecure and having no backbone. So, I snapped, stormed off, and here we are."
"Wow," sighs Ryan as he reaches over, warm hand settling on Blue's shoulder. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that with her."
"So am I, but that's what I get for letting her back in. For not trying to hold strong to the boundaries I'd tried to set," Blue's voice is quiet as he stares out the window. He doesn't shrug off the hand on his shoulder, he just let's himself slouch under it instead. "But it's okay because I won't make the same mistake again. I'm tired of this… constant back and forth with no change. I'm tired of being forced to choose and put down for not choosing at all. It's ridiculous."
"It is, and I'm sorry that you've been dealing with it. But now, you know you can always call me. I'll be your ear, whenever you need me to be," offers Ryan gently as he squeezes Blue's shoulder with reassurance, unknowing how that touch sends warmth through his younger brother's stomach. "Though, now that I think about it. I have a question too. You and Taylor have been weird recently. Everything okay?"
"Me and Tay?" asks Blue as his brows hike high when their eyes meet. "Yeah, we're fine. She let me crash at her place for a bit, and we figured out that we weren't going to work. It was a feelings realization thing. We like each other, a lot, but our hearts are heavily settled with other people. So, after we ended things, she and Roxie helped me find an apartment. I got moved in a couple days ago."
"Oh, I didn't realize you two had ended things. Though, I guess that does make sense for how things have seemed at the house," Ryan's voice is soft, like everything has slotted into place in his head.
"Oh, yeah, I didn't even think about it," replies Blue sheepishly as his face twists into a grimace. "We told Dad, but I figured Rox would've passed the news on since she was the first one to know. That or Taylor would."
"Hey, it's not really any of my business, and Rox probably did tell me, or try," says Ryan gently, like he can hear the guilt in Blue's voice. "Things have been hectic in my head with the whole divorce situation, so I haven't been all there. But I'm glad you two are going to stay friends at least."
"Yeah, definitely friends," laughs Blue quietly, and he's grinning because he doesn't feel quite as hollow in this moment. "I actually helped her plan out how she's going to ask out her crush earlier, and I cannot wait to get the message about how it goes. I'm certain she's going to get a yes, but it'll still be nice to get the news."
"Is it Rox?" asks Ryan as his brows furrow, suspicion curling through his voice like the wind outside.
"Yes, but you cannot say you found out from me. Taylor will kill me," replies Blue seriously as he lets his head fall back against his seat. "She's supposed to be asking her out after our shift tomorrow, and I am not dying before I get the confirmation text."
"Well, she knows that I knew she had a crush on her when she first joined. So, when I bring it up after, she won't question a thing," says Ryan with a snort as his hand slides down from Blue's shoulder to his forearm. "But if you know about her crush, then she knows about yours. Is it someone we all know?"
"Uhh, I mean you could say that," Blue's nervous chuckles gives more away than he'd like. But he's certain that Ryan would never guess that he's got a crush on him.
Who would think their half-brother had feelings for them, ya know?
"Yeah? That's awesome! Do you plan to confess or anything?" asks Ryan curiously, voice soft and a little unsteady in a way that Blue hasn't heard before.
"Ha, confessing would be a monumentally stupid idea on my part," replies Blue with a shake of his head. "I couldn't. But I'm not upset about it. It's something I made my peace with as soon as I realized my feelings."
"Well, if you ever want advice, I'd be glad to help," says Ryan gently as he sits back more comfortably in the seat.
They came out here to scream, let their anger, hurt, guilt, whatever it was they were feeling out into the wind.
Instead, they sit in the car, watching the blades of the windmill turn, providing comfort to each other.
Blue thinks this is enough, in the best way it can be. This , between them, is more than enough.