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Parrot gazes out at the river, killing time as he waits for the attack. Wondering about 4CVIT’s progress, he hums under his breath.
“Who taught you that?” Reina’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. It’s rare that she has much to say - always silent, an introspective sort of person.
“What?”
“Who taught you the song?”
“The one I was humming?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that one.”
“One of my… old friends.”
“Who?”
“Lu-Luigi.”
“Oh,” Reina says thoughtfully. “How are they?”
“They’re - they’re dead, Reina.”
The other blinks. “Oh - I’m sorry, I didn’t really mean to… I’m sorry that your friend died,” she finishes lamely.
“It’s fine. It’s been a long time, Reina.” Two years? Three years? And yet he can still remember everything clearly in his mind’s eye. The undignified hunk of an emerald that Luigi got; the rainy evenings, looking out at the fogged-up, polluted lights of the city; a gilded axe slamming into him; Luigi crumpling to the floor, lifeless as something dies inside Parrot.
“...rot?”
“Huh? Oh, um, sorry, I wasn’t listening.”
“No, it’s fine,” Reina waves the apology away. “I was just asking you, do you have any other friends other than Theo?”
“I mean… I have you. And I’m on good terms with a lot of people. But, I wouldn’t call them… friends. Maybe Horace, and Fymada. I used to have a lot more friends, though.” Stupid of him to say, now he has to explain-
“Oh?”
“Well… I seem to have bad luck, in terms of friends,” he starts reluctantly. “I - I mean, as in, they all die.”
“I’m sorry,” Reina says quietly - almost whispers. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s fine,” Parrot says, even though some part of him is screaming at him to take the offer and back down. “I had the friend I told you about, Luigi. He was the first person I lost. We were in the Mining Civilization and he - Reddoons killed him.”
“Why?”
“We were trying to rob him.” Parrot laughs a little at their stupidity. What he would do to go back to the days of long-ago, of before-it-all, when he didn’t carry the scars of his friends’ deaths, when ghosts didn’t wrap around him and weigh him down like a coffin. When spirits didn’t promise to stay next to him until he died. “He trapped us in the Mining Civilization, all of us escaped except for… except for Luigi.”
“You shouldn’t have tried to rob Reddoons in the first place, wasn’t he leader of Capital City?”
“Well, there wasn’t a capital city back then, but he was still really powerful. He was a tyrant, like Ashswagg.”
“Ashswagg?”
Parrot blinks. “You don’t know about Ashswagg?”
“I mean, I’ve heard of him, but I don’t know what he did to get such a reputation.”
“He was the leader of the Mafia. The Mafia was, um, a bunch of invisible, netherite players. Like a massive army of them. He commanded them with fear, because he had gotten each and every one of their pearls and put them in a stasis chamber to the void. We managed to defeat him, though. He’s also why there’s no more ores on the server.”
“Oh, no wonder. Did people die?”
“Ye - yes. A lot of them, but I didn’t know them. There was only one, called Dean. We met him at the End civilization.” Where Wifies would claim it had all started. When running from the Mafia was the worst that had happened. What he would give, to go back to those careless times, to be able to say I trust you to Dean, to be able to stop it all. “We were good friends for a while, but he… died when Ashswagg pulled his pearl.”
“Theo was your friend back then?”
Parrot snorts. “Oh, no, that was way long ago. Years ago. I hadn’t even met Theo, I think.”
“Then who was we?”
“Um, like. My best friend, back then. He and I were good friends for a while. Until, um, we had an argument. He thought that Dean was a burden - this was before he died - and I didn’t. And he didn’t want me to find the city in the Farlands.” When an argument was the worst that had ever come between him; before the mess of Paragon.
“Was Dean a burden?”
“No. He wasn’t. He just, I, um. I just, I didn’t trust him eventually, so I failed him. Basically.” He takes a breath, almost chokes on it. “We, me and Wifies, we split up. But then we met again at the Farlands city, and that was also where I met Theo. We became good friends. And then I sort of made up to Wifies.” Would anything have changed if he hadn’t made up? Would Paragon have happened? Would Wifies still be alive? Would Nufuli be alive? What he would give to go back and change it all. “Wifies died… he joined the Mafia to save me. And then - Ashswagg pulled - pulled his pearl. And he died,” Parrot lies. He rubs the back of his hand against his eyes.
He did die in a way, though. He was dying of an illness ever since the End and Parrot had never, ever seen it. He could have done so much, but he had done nothing, had remained blind. How could he not see it? Was he really that ignorant? The back of his hand is warm with freshly shed tears.
“I’m sorry, Parrot. You don’t have to keep talking,” Reina says, biting her lip.
“N-No, it’s fine. It’s fine.” Lies, lies, lies. Nothing will ever be fine again. “N-Nufuli, he died from a trapper.” From Wifies, from his best friend who had gone crazy. “He liked - he liked the touching stars. It’s too early to see them now, I th-think.”
“Okay,” Reina says softly, carefully. “Two stars touching each other?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you could show them to me, later.”
“O-Okay. I’d, I think that’d be nice.” It feels like breathing life into a ghost. He can almost hear the echoes of Nufuli’s voice. “I… y-yeah, the list goes on. I have terrible luck,” Parrot says, laughing through his tears. “A-A lot of people died in the election.” He’ll never be free of their ghosts, wrapping around him and whispering vengefully, Was it worth it? Once you’ve finally gotten this kingship you so desperately wanted, that you killed us for, look back on it and ask, was it worth it? “Boomie was the first.” He hiccups. “Boomie and I got trapped in, like, a prison together. It was called ‘The Lobster Pot’.”
“Silly name.”
“Yeah. I freed him and we travelled together in the Great Sea, but, um, Wemmbu blew him up.” You promised you’d keep me safe, the ghost of Boomie whispers, curling around his neck. Where did I end up? You didn’t do anything Parrot, anything. You could have stood there and taken the blow, you could’ve been observant, but no, you had to fail me. You killed me.
“Parrot? Are you okay?”
“I’m f-fine.” He sniffles. “Dangit, I’m fine. S-Spepticle, he was a good friend. He called himself ‘The Owl’, and he looked up to me… and… he helped m-me during the election. And when Lettuce tried to execute me, he took the blow for me. He died.” I looked up to you. I looked up to you, Parrot, I really did. Where did that get me? Why couldn’t you just own up to your mistakes for once? But no, you’re too selfish to step up for once and take the blame. I’d still be alive!
“And Ace, he was Lettuce’s second-in-command. He betrayed Lettuce to help m-me. I mean, really. Me. Who am I to get his help? And he paid the price. Lettuce killed him.” I’d rather die standing than live kneeling, but why did you have to hide in that goddamned tunnel while they slaughtered me? Couldn’t you have done something? Even talked to Lettuce? You did nothing, Parrot. You were scared, a selfish coward who feared for their own life and fled the scene as fast as possible. “A-and that’s it. I’ve been watching people die my whole life.” Instead of doing anything about it.
“Parrot,” Reina says gently, reading in between the lines, “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything.”
“But I could’ve stepped in-”
“Everyone cares about their own life, Parrot, you’re not at fault for doing so.”
It’s an argument he’s had hundreds of times with Theo. “Okay,” Parrot sighs, not believing a word of it. I don’t want to argue this with you right now.
“Okay,” Reina says. She doesn’t push, and Parrot’s grateful.