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Nothing Fucks with My Baby (Lesy, Language Please) (No, fuck off)

Summary:

Ooops, all tweets!

Notes:

Please ignore any errors, if I notice I forgot to like, toggle verified or messed up a date or whatever, it's usually too late since I have to go into a tweet editor, make the tweets, and then get image urls just to get them into a form I can use. Sorry not sorry. I like multimedia fics but it's a lot more work than just writing regular stuff!

ETA: added princelokiofasgard as cocreator for doing the image descriptions for potential visually-impared readers. It saved me a lot of time :D

ETA 2: if for some reason you can't see the photos, the commentors who had the same problem suggested: a) VPN or b) downloading the fic. Seems to be working fine for most though, yay!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Olesya Ilyukhina @sunnyoly Apr 3, 2052  Ry, talking to Cat: who's the most handsomest kitty on earth? you are, yes you are! *takes him to mirror to show him how pretty he is*  Stratt, talking to cat: Get your paw out of my coffee cup. You are a disappointment to the family line  43.3K  196.6K  SwiftScottStan @Evaswiftseras2 May 3  I can't believe THE dr ryland grace talks to his cat just like the rest of us. what a time to be alive  62  1K  ♡  2.3K  Faust the Cat Fanpage @faustunofficial May 4  i cant believe eva stratt is so mean to me. im just a lil guy. worst crime committed against anyone ever.  175  3.5K  ♡  9K  ExtinctPenguinRevengeClub @saddeadbirds. Jun 1  i beg to fucking differ  1.6K  2K  ♡  5.2K

 

 

Vintage Cartoon Enthusia @animesommalie. May 1, 2052  Hey @sunnyoly why does rocky have he/him pronouns if his species doesnt have gender?  102  995  Olesya Ilyukhina @sunnyoly May 2, 2052  he wanted to match ry. he refused to be they/them'd  16.6K  1 23.2K  Xenolinguist @erdnconjtbles Jun 1  I'm actually sobbing rn that's toooooo cute

 

 

Olesya llyukhina @sunnyoly  Faust's favourite places to sit: ry's lap, ry's shoulder, on top of rocky's carapace when he's in his lil suit Faust's favourite things to chew: mY fuCKing hAIRsss??!!!  #rudekitty  12:00 PM May 7, 2052  17.2K Retweets  1.1K Quote Tweets  79.5K Likes

 

 

Sun's Alive; RIP The Summer Bea @smmrh May 3, 2052  Hey @sunnyoly why doesn't dr. first officer ryland grace sir have a twitter?  9  77  623  Olesya Ilyukhina  @sunnyoly May 5, 2052  He does not like to be Percieved.  5.3K  10K  16.8K  abc  Spell Check Bot @learntowrite May 5, 2052  *Perceived. "I before E except after C"  101  2  1  ✔ @sunnyoly Jun 1  SAINT Olesya Ilyukhina  youre going to hell for questioning a saint. fuck all the way off. im sending mary to hack ur mainframe n kill what you love. watch ur 1s and Os, loser  5.3K  3.4K  16.8K

 

 

SAINT Olesya Ilyukhina  @sunnyoly  stratt is trying to get me to put LOWFAT CMeTAHa in my grandfathers borscth recipe??? this is the WORST thing she has ever done in her life ever and no i will not be taking questions. dragging her ass to the hague ASAP.  12:00 PM May 5, 2052  15K Retweets  977  Ouote Tweets  20.3K Likes

 

SAINT Olesya llyukhina @sunnyoly May 6, 2052  listen. If ONE more fucking pap takes a pic of ry without asking for his explicit consent, i WILL use my magic saint powers to combust you on the spot? You think i don't have power here? let the man go to the doctors in peace, fucking @jhnsmithtmzed.  16.6K  23.2K  159.1K  @sunnyoly. May 6  SAINT Olesya llyukhina  also, i KNOW you live at 1***** N 23rd ave, and thank your lucky  fucking stars that Ry won't let me doxx your ass fucking fully. and to all paps and journalists: i WILL put a hit out on your fucking head if you bother my family even slightly. fucking STEAMING rn.  5.3K  3.4K  16.8K  SAINT Olesya llyukhina @sunnyoly May 6  fuck a hit, i'll fucking kill you myself. I've been exercising in 1.5 gs for the past 4 years and eating nutritionally perfect Sludge. I will snap your neck with my own bare hands. LEAVE HIM ALONE.  342  771  12.5K

 

 

SAINT Olesya llyukhina @sunnyoly  1. That's DR. Ryland Grace, COMMANDER Yao Li-Jie, and SAINT Olesya llyukhina to you, loser.  2. Fuck ALL the way off  3. Your name is a fail just like you, Y6ñiogok  THE TECH DECK  Olesya llyukhina and the Need for Social Media Training  Reporter: Jaxon Fiv  It's the first rule of social media: think before you post. The second rule of social media: if you're famous, hire someone to manage your accounts. But Olesya llyukhina apparently hasn't gotten the memo, no, insisting on tweeting whatever comes to mind and apparently refusing any and all social media training. While her companions in space, Ryland Grace and Yao Li-Jie, and even proported 'roommate' World Prime Minister Eva Stratt refuse to have any social media presence at all beyond an official capacity (which can be its own mistake)...  Comment Actions

 

 

 

Notes:

I KNOW the dates and her changing her name in her bio are all out of order. I made them all out of order, in my defence. Also, you would not BELIEVE how hard it is to find a fake newspaper article generator that lets you write your own headline AND body AND doesn't use AI to just write it for you and overwrite anything you wanted in the body. I had to use a canva template for that last one.

Sorry about the (current) lack of image descriptions, I promise I'll fix it! Hell, if anyone wants to add those in the comments so I can just copy and paste them in later, I'll add you as a cowriter for the work and send you millions of nice thoughts.