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I Hired Galar's Most Dangerous Trail Buddy

Summary:

(Inspired by Doppelganger-doodles on tumblr!)

Branzy plans to leave his hometown to set off on a grand research journey across the unfiltered wilderness of the world to hopefully finally put his degree in Pokemon Ecology to good use, but there's one big problem...he SUCKS at battling wild pokemon! His dear friend Rek recommends he check out a website that might make the journey a little safer, but Branzy's not so confident on how much he trusts a stranger to keep him safe. Little did he know, that one suggestion would introduce him to a man named Clown Pierce, who sparks his curiosity.

What will happen in this months long adventure? Will hiring this mysterious battler be worth it?

Notes:

The team list and several other headcanons for this story come straight from my great mutual Doppelganger-doodles on tumblr and all credit for the inspiration of this fic goes to them! Go check out his blog!!

That being said, welcome to the wonderful world of Clownzy Pokemon au, I hope you have fun 0_<

Chapter 1: The Day Before

Chapter Text

Branzy scans his eyes across the small crowd of people sitting on the patio of the cafe, it’s large sunbrellas are doing little to help under the slightly overcast spring sky, but they’re cute anyway. He sees plenty of people, a few of them with partner or service pokemon sitting under their tables. It’s a simple place, one of the ones popular with the locals but not that busy with out of towners. The building is tucked away between bigger ones, looking a little worse for wear on the outside, not as scenic as several of the other steam punk tourist traps in Galar. 

 

However, as soon as you step inside the place is overwhelmed with a warm ambiance and cute decorations. A gentle, lilting playlist fills the air as he enters through the main door. There’s a sign on it stating that pokemon battles are explicitly not permitted, and that anyone with a rowdy pokemon may be removed from the premises. Boy, is Branzy glad he doesn’t work in food services anymore.

 

He waves politely to the people behind the counter, one of them being a woman named Lizze, who co-owns the place with her husband, before moving on to the patio. The person he’s meeting up with told him they already ordered for them both, probably paid for it too the scamp. Finally, after the swinging glass door shuts softly behind him, he hears a familiar voice.

 

“Over here Branzy!”

 

He turns on his heel, spotting Rekrap’s bright blue and gold puffer vest now that he knows where to focus. Rek is sitting under one of the sunbrellas, beaming and waving with his Luxray sniffing curiously at his shoes. True to his word, there's two drinks on the black metal table.

 

“Well hello, Rek,” Branzy greets, smiling as he approaches and pulls out a chair across the table.

 

Rek glances around him before lifting an eyebrow, “No Koffing?”

 

“Ah no,” Branzy cringes rubbing at his nape sheepishly, “She may be recovering after a visit to a nurse Joy…”

 

“Branzy!”

 

“I know, I know, okay,” He whines, letting Luxray paw at one of his shoelaces as he grabs the only warm drink cup on the table, “I didn’t mean to!”

 

Rek shakes his head, ignoring the sideways glances from other guests at his outburst. “You gotta tell me what happened, so I can decide if I need to change you from ‘genius’ to ‘idiot’ in my head again.”

 

With a sigh, Branzy lifts the cup to his mouth and takes a swig, immediately grateful for the taste of smooth coffee with some moomoo milk and syrups. He’s known Rek for a long time, since his Luxray was still a Shinx and he’d still been rooming with Jaron back in university. It’s no shock that he knows what Branzy’s go-to drink is, or that Branzy himself knows that Rek hates coffee and is definitely drinking some kind of lemonade. It may be embarrassing, but there’s not many a story Branzy would keep from his friend, unless he was scheming of course, but that doesn’t count.

 

“Just went a little too far off one of the trails, but it’s not my fault! I thought I saw something cool!”

 

“Branzy, you know this is why me and Chief are so nervous for you to go off alone.” His eyebrows are drawn together, a sufficiently sad looking face of worry that could pull even an Absol out of its cave.

 

But Branzy has heard this concern before, has had this conversation with his two friends many a time in the preceding few months to today. Tomorrow, he sets out on a research trip across the continent, a journey that will take him to many scientific hubs but also through miles of untamed wilderness. Was he hired to do this trip with a team? Well not exactly, but he has many plans for making money along the way and he’s a big boy. He’s determined that this could be his next big Thing, a chance to finally use his degree for more than just getting by.

 

“Why don’t you just stay here,” Rek continues, “Keep running your specialty pokeball store and doing local research, where you don’t have to battle?”

 

The store is part of the reason Branzy isn’t too nervous about money. He’s run the place since he’d gotten out of school, had started it out of his living room making various pokeballs by hand with recycled parts and repairing the occasional redstone trinket. He’s left it in the hands of an extremely talented young man he’d been working with for a while named Mumbo, so he’s not too worried about his clients or the business failing in his absence.

 

“Straight to the point huh,” Branzy tries to deflect, “Can’t even talk about that Dubwool I got you? How’s he been doing?”

 

“Oh just awful, he doesn’t get along with anyone! I’ve got bruises and bruises from all the times he’s rammed me,” Rek complains, momentarily letting the topic drop much to Branzy’s relief. He doesn’t want their last time hanging out to be full of arguing or tension.

 

He snickers, hiding his smirk with his hand as he imagines the picture of his friend trying to do work around his little plot of land only to get bowled over when he least expects it, “Oh nooooo, I was so sure he’d be a good fit for your team.”

 

Rek only rolls his eyes, huffing good naturedly. He’s a trainer, who does his own fair share of traveling to compete in local tournaments for extra cash and fun while he works on his certifications for setting up his own training gym. Branzy had never gotten the appeal himself, but it seems to make his friend happy so he tries to attend them when their schedules line up. He probably won’t get to see one for quite a while, he thinks a little glumly.

 

They spend the next half hour chatting and joking, showing each other pictures and sharing gossip as they are wont to do anytime they meet up. Rek’s Luxray stays calm, going between snoozing under the table and glancing around, even getting up to sit next to Branzy and beg him for attention at one point. 

 

It’s while Branzy is distracted petting and cooing at the thing that Rek strikes, devious as he is. He attempts to make the subject transition subtle, but of the many things Rek is good at, being anything but utmostly genuine does not make the list, so instead he clears his throat and immediately Branzy is groaning internally. However, like any good friend he glances back up at Rek to show him he’s listening.

 

“Sooo, I heard from…someone-”

 

(Meaning he probably went searching the internet without talking to another soul)

 

“-That there are these people you can hire to travel with you, as like a buddy system! So you don’t get lonely or-or lost…” he slowly fizzles out, clearly unsure where to go next.

 

Not willing to let the subject of his leaving come back up again just yet, and maybe also a little entertained by the magikarp out of water that is Rek trying to lie, Branzy hums and lifts his eyebrows in a casually curious manner.

 

“Oh, are you going to another tournament soon?”

 

“No?” Rek looks really confused for a moment before he abruptly cuts himself off with a sigh, rubbing his face with a hand, “BranzyCraft you are the worst. You know exactly what I was implying!”

 

Branzy laughs, “What makes you say that,” he teases before sobering himself at Rek’s exasperated look, “Yeah, yeah I know, Rek.”

 

They make eye contact, Rek's eyes the clearest and most sincere they’ve been in a long time, which is saying a lot for such a sincere person. Their cups are long empty, the crowd of people around them having changed since Branzy sat down. He’s going to miss Rekrap so much, he realizes.

 

“Then, will you think about it?” His voice is almost pleading, as if it’s the most important thing in the world.

 

Branzy doesn’t want to lie to Rek, not right before he leaves and they may not see each other for a long, long time. Tricking and pranking and joking is one thing, but not lying, not now. He’s never heard of this so-called ‘buddy system’, and like usual he remains wary of anything that requires depending solely on another person, but for Rek?

 

“...Yeah, I’ll consider it,” he relents, speaking honestly.

 

For Rek? To see the beaming smile he gives as soon as he hears those words? Branzy might even kill a man.

 

-0-

 

They stayed at the cafe for a little while longer, shifting to talk about the various things Branzy is actually planning to research on the journey and other simple joys until finally, it was time to go. Rek had pulled Branzy into a hug that was quickly and emotionally reciprocated before pulling back and putting a hand on his shoulder, "Thanks for considering my suggestion," he had said, "I’ll send you some links about it when we both get home."

 

Branzy had to swing by the local nursery right after their hang out to pick up two Evees he’d adopted for the sake of studying their evolution patterns before heading home. Granted, the whole studying thing might have come only after he’d agreed to take the two in but he can’t help that their sob story rang so close to his heart. Plus, he gets impulsive after a drink or two and he wasn’t going to just reject an invite to a going away dinner hosted by Mumbo and a few of his friends from the shop.

 

He chucks his shoes off at the door and hangs his coat up. Seeing as Spring is finally coming into itself it might not be long before he doesn’t need it anymore. He puts away his keys in the little luxury ball themed bowl on the entry way table and stumbles his way into the kitchen.

 

While digging through the fridge looking for something to eat his thoughts wander back to Rek and his suggestion. He had told him he’d consider it after all, and seeing as he’s leaving tomorrow he needs to come to a conclusion by tonight at the latest. He absently goes about making himself a simple curry while he thinks about it.

 

Branzy, while a friendly guy, will admit that he’s not exactly the most fond of trusting strangers right away. He’s done his laps enough in the parts of the world that have shown him how some people truly do have it out for others, he can’t afford to let just anyone be his shadow for weeks alone in the wilderness.

 

What if they take his money only to never show up? What if they leave the second something actually dangerous happens? What if this ‘buddy system’ is all just a hoax to get someone alone in the wilderness only to kill them and blame it on wild pokemon or a freak accident?

 

Logically though, Branzy knows that he’s terrible at battling. He never got into it as a kid or a teen or even a young adult, and now at thirty something he still gets his butt handed to him by mid level wild pokemon when he goes too far off the trails. The evidence of that lies in none other than his current partner pokemon, Koffing. Today’s battle was an utter mess. He’d had to make a run for it as soon as she went down and only made it back because the wild ‘mon was distracted by something or other. He can’t hope to get that lucky every time, especially not on such a long journey.

 

Decisions, decisions.

 

Only after he sits down to eat and pulls his rotophone out of his pocket does he remember that Rek had said he’d send him some information. He might as well check it out while he waits for the curry to cool, it beats staring around his mostly packed up apartment thinking himself in circles.

 

He opens his phone (password protected, duh) and finds Rek’s messages at the top of his log, above messages from old friends wishing him well on his trip and the message from the adoption company telling him he was good to pick up his evees. He clicks on Reks' contact (labeled as Melon Guy due to a brief but very intense phase he’d gone through) and sees some new messages. There’s a couple of links, all to the same website as well as a few emojis of Rek style encouragement.

 

He picks one that he hopes will take him to the home page of the site, pleased with himself when he chooses right.

 

The website is sleek, professional but not intimidating. The home page is labeled in capitol letters “Pokebuddies, for when you need a helping hand!” There’s a small blurb underneath it that explains how the process works. It seems the website has a collection of registered “Buddies,” people personally vetted by whoever runs the site to be professional and skilled, while also allowing anyone to sign up as a new helping hand or a seeker. There’s a profiles page, a forum page, and a map page. Each one looks as professional as the home did but Branzy quickly gets overwhelmed by the sheer amount of options on the site.

 

He exits back to his conversation with Rek, taking a quick break to spoon some curry into his mouth before realizing it's still a little warm and having to hahh-hahhh until it stops burning. This is the type of thing a stranger might get annoyed about after traveling solo with him for a while, he thinks harshly before shaking it off and checking the next message.

 

Rek had left a message on this one saying “Hey, I can personally attest to these guys, I’ve actually met them at tournaments and they are all kick butt at battling!”

 

The first link leads to a profile, as do the other two. He decides randomly on which one to look at first, landing on a page for someone named ParrotX2. He scans through all the information, noticing how many of this guy’s pokemon are flying types before deciding that he wouldn’t be a good fit. There was nothing specific about him other than he was based in a town very far away, and the chances of him reaching Branzy’s hometown in Galar in any reasonable span of time seemed slim.

 

The next page is much the same, nothing specifically stands out with them. They seem strong and professional, and if the third guy doesn’t work out either then this one is closer than Parrot at least. Vitalasy is their screen name, he notes down before moving on to the last link.

 

To his surprise, the third profile is much more bare bones compared to the previous two. Instead of a headshot for their profile image there's a stark black and red logo, a jester’s hat. He immediately feels put on edge by that, unsure why the page makes him sit straighter in his seat and push his food away to lean his elbows on the table. The account is called Clown Pierce, and among the few details on the page sits one point that almost seems impossible. This Clown Pierce guy is only about a 20 minute train ride from where Branzy plans to leave from tomorrow. 

 

The odds for that make Branzy shake his head in disbelief, he’d almost settled for the fact that if he went through with this he’d have to at least delay by a few days, but Clown could be here by tomorrow, in time to leave on schedule, if delayed by only a few hours.

 

But does that make up for the ominous energy Branzy got from his profile? He’s a naturally anxious person, he knows that, but by now his gut has saved him at least a few times, and this is such an important thing that he can’t be reckless about it. Hah, Rekless.

 

Wait. Rek. He said he’d met these people, maybe he can help Branzy decide. So, Branzy slides back into their chat and types up a quick message before impatiently going back to his curry, now at a much more reasonable temperature, if a little cold.

 

You: Hey Rekrek!

 

Melon Guy: Yoooo Branzy!

Melon Guy: Wsp? Did u check out the links?

 

You: Yeah! I had a question about one of them

 

Melon Guy: Shoot

 

You: That Clown Pierce guy, he’s not…a serial killer right

You: Right?

 

Melon Guy: Lol no

Melon Guy: He’s just kinda private

Melon Guy: He’s like that at tournaments too but he’s cool!

 

You: Okay

You: Yeah yeah thats good

You: What do you think about the Vitalasy fella?

 

Melon Guy: He’s good too but I think he might be competing in a tourney rn

Melon Guy: :( 

 

Branzy puts his phone down and rubs his hands over his face. Of course the safest option isn’t even available, of course. Because Branzy has a soft spot for his best friend he has to actually maybe potentially meet up with someone who gives off very scary vibes through just a website bio.

 

You: Ok, thx Rek!

 

Melon Guy: Of course Branz

Melon Guy: Let me know if you need help making an acc! 

 

Right, Branzy still has to make an account, and send Clown Pierce a message, and hope that he sees that message in time, and then hope he accepts it. Or maybe hope he doesn’t? If he doesn’t see it in time or turns Branzy down, then Branzy can still tell Rek he gave it an honest shot and he won’t have to trust some random to sleep in a tent 10 feet away from him!

 

With that in mind, Branzy starts on his account. He makes sure that he’s set as a seeker and he fills out the information boxes one by one until he ends up with an account that looks roughly like it was made last minute by a desperate traveler. So, at least it’s honest, right?

 

Branzy Craft

Status: Hiring

Location: Galar

Task/s: Accompaniment, Protection

Bio: My name is Branzy and a friend recommended that I hire someone to keep me safe during an upcoming trip I’m making from my home town in Galar to the surrounding wilderness areas, mostly on foot. I’m a researcher and along the way we’ll be stopping at several towns so I can try to talk to the local professionals and gather more information for my upcoming work!

 

He rereads it a few times before deciding it’ll be fine and moving back to the profiles page to find first VItalasy and then Clown Pierce. He might as well shoot the shot since Rek was only maybe sure that Vitalasy would be unable to help. He sends them both a request, which he’s slightly disappointed to learn is an automated function and he won’t be able to message either unless they decide to inquire further.

 

In the meantime he finally finishes up his curry and carries his dishes back to the kitchen to do one last load before he leaves. While he’s gone he’s letting the landlord rent it out again under the condition that when he returns he’ll be able to rebid on it against whatever tenant takes his place until then. It means he had to send most of his stuff to be stored in Rek’s and Chief’s garages but he didn’t have that much and he’s not particularly in love with the apartment. It’s served him well but he doesn’t plan to be back for a long time and he can worry about it all when he eventually returns.

 

He spends the next few hours double checking that he’s well packed with a strong camping bag and all of his pokemon are settled into their balls for the night. Usually he would let them out for a few hours to play or hang out, but he doesn’t want to risk any accidents causing a mess he has to clean or lose his downpayment over. Instead, he finally gets himself in the shower and then ready for bed. All the curtains are closed, the door is locked, and breakfast will be something quick and easy in the morning.

 

When he sits on his bed for the last time in a while he remembers to check his phone, not particularly hopeful for any responses but finds himself pleased to see that both Vitalasy and ClownPierce had seen his requests. He opens Vitalasy’s message first, unsure what result he’s crossing his fingers for.

 

(Registered Buddy) Vitalasy: This is an automated message. This Buddy has all requests set to auto-deny for the current time period. Reason: Occupied by another task

 

Ah, bummer. Turns out Rek had been right about the whole busy thing.

 

As Branzy exits the chat log and hovers his finger over the button to check Clown’s response he finds himself pausing. He feels another swirl of dread and uncertainty in his gut. What if he says no and then Branzy has to tell Rek he’ll be alone out in the wilderness for months? He had been skeptical of the whole idea at first, and still is, but he can't deny that he knows having someone with him would soothe his friends' nerves ten times over. And maybe he’d gotten a little into the idea too, again he’s a friendly guy and he’s never tried being so totally isolated from humanity for as long as he will be in the deepest parts of the wilderness, cut off from even his rotophone.

 

But again, he’s going to be completely cut off from even his rotophone, does he really want this message to say yes? Does he want to risk being stuck in that situation with a stranger all because Rek has met this guy in passing and is nervous to let Branzy (who is a handful of years his elder by the way) adventure on his own?

 

Finally, he takes a deep breath and just presses the screen.

 

(Registered Buddy) ClownPierce: Okay Branzycraft, you’ve made me curious. Why don’t we meet up to discuss further?

 

So it’s not a no or a yes. By Arceus, this guy knows how to make a man nervous and he hasn’t even met him yet! Branzy can’t be sure why he’s so confident that the ominous nature of the message is intentional and not just his own anxious projection, but for some reason he is.

 

Oh god, what does he tell Rek?