Chapter Text
We were three months into our journey to Erid, and I could already tell it was going to be a long four years. Fighting boredom was a necessity if I was going to avoid driving myself nuts, so Rocky and I worked out a schedule to fill the time. For an hour every day, we each took turns giving “lessons” to each other on our respective species. Last weeks’s topic had involved religion, which had gone a bit off the rails, to put it mildly. By the end of the lesson, I don’t think either of us understood what the other was talking about, so this week we had decided to take a step back and talk about human and Eridian biology, which was more in my wheelhouse.
Today was Rocky’s turn to discuss his species' biology, and it was not lost on me that I was currently living a xenobiologist’s dream. Learning about the inner workings of an alien species directly from a member of said species, if only my former microbiology peers could see me now. Take that, haters.
Okay, maybe that was a little childish, but as the savior of Earth and Erid I feel like I deserved to be a little childish if I wanted too. Sue me.
Rocky was currently explaining what happens during Eridian sleep. He’d even made a life size xenonite anatomical model to help my tiny, human brain understand, which was considerate of him. It was kind of the coolest thing I’d ever seen, and I’d seen inside an alien spaceship.
My own model of human anatomy that I’d built out of garbage was considerably less impressive and was ultimately retired to the scrap heap of shame when Rocky pointed out that, since he could see inside of me, there really wasn’t much of a point anyway.
“Hang on,” I asked as Rocky explained that the thick vessels that pumped mercury-rich blood through his body stopped pumping during a normal sleep cycle. “If your bodies shut down while you sleep, then how do you tell the difference between asleep and, well, dead?”
Rocky gave me what I called the “stupid question” look, which I’m surprised he was able to pull off given that he didn’t have, you know, a face.
“Sleep is temporary,” he explained, like I was an idiot. “After sleep ends, Eridian wake up. When dead, don’t wake up ever ever ever.”
I rolled my eyes, “Well yeah, I know that, so you don’t know if someone is dead for sure until they don’t wake up?”
“There are signs,” Rocky explained. “Sleep almost always happens while standing. Eridian lay down to die.” He paused for a moment, and then in a softer, more melancholy tone said, “Rocky watch crew lie down one by one and Rocky hope crew just sleeping, but crew never wake up.”
I’d never wanted to hug my friend more than I did at that moment. He looked so sad, and I immediately felt like a garbage friend for bringing up something that was clearly so traumatizing for him.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Rock,” I told him. “That sounds terrible.”
If he wanted to change the subject or end the lesson for today, I’d understand. Heck, that’s what I’d do, and I was about to suggest we just call it quits when he asked a follow up question.
“How humans tell difference, question?”
“Between what?”
“Between alive and dead,” he tapped a foot against the floor impatiently, like the question was obvious. I guess it made sense. For a species where death and sleep looked so similar, it was only natural for him to wonder how that worked with humans since our bodies were so active during sleep.
I tried to explain it in a way Rocky would understand, “Well, when a human dies, it’s not like sleeping at all. It’s a lot more… quiet. The body stops breathing, and then the heart stops.”
“Death immediate when heart stops beating, question?” he asked.
“Well, not exactly,” I explained. “Technically death happens when the brain dies. We call it brain death. Without the heart to pump blood and oxygen to the brain it kind of suffocates, so if someone’s heart stops you have to restart it quickly, usually within a few minutes otherwise the brain will die or be permanently damaged.”
“Restart heart how, question?” Rocky asked.
Yeah, with no context, the idea of restarting someone’s heart must sound pretty insane. This was probably going to require a physical demonstration, but thankfully, we had all the necessary materials on board. I clapped my hands together, shifting excitedly into “teacher mode.”
“Electricity! That’s how!” I declared with dramatic emphasis. “Us humans have something called a defibrillator. There’s one over on the wall in the med bay, actually. Here, I’ll show you.”
There was a lot of loud shuffling as Rocky transferred into his ball and the two of us made our way down to the med bay where Armando was busy doing absolutely nothing, as usual.
“Morning, Armando. Don’t mind us.”
Ah, there it was. A small rectangular shelf was pinned to the side of the wall with the words “AED” on it. I opened the door and pulled out the machine before sitting cross-legged on the floor and spreading out the nodes and wires so that Rocky could see. He enjoyed learning about the inner mechanics of Earth machines.
Rocky’s ball rolled up so close it bounced off my knee. I could tell his curiosity had been piqued. Good, maybe that would distract him from the depressing memories I’d dredged up earlier.
I opened it up and started explaining what everything was, although I was careful not to turn it on. The last thing I needed was to accidentally electrocute myself while trying to explain something; although, it wouldn’t have been the first time.
“Okay, so there’s a start button that you press, and it runs you through the instructions about where to put everything. That way, even if you don’t know how to use one of these, it’s still fairly intuitive. You see the nodes? Those go on the person’s chest. An electrical current goes from the machine to the nodes and shocks the heart with electricity to get it beating again.”
Rocky examined it very closely, occasionally humming and tapping at the xenonite in order to get a better look.
“Amaze amaze amaze,” he said. “Eridians do not have a machine like this. This always work, question?”
“No, not always,” I answered regretfully, “But there’s other stuff you can do as well to help it work better. CPR is where you press your hands on a persons chest to try and get blood flowing from the heart.” I linked my fingers together and did a quick simulation of what that looked like. Rocky put his hands together and did his best to mimic me. It reminded me a bit of our first meeting when we imitated each other's movements. Good times.
“I had to learn how to do it when I became a teacher. CPR is an important skill because it can help keep the brain from dying while you work to get the heart restarted,” I explained.
Rocky took a minute to process this information before asking, “How know brain is dead, question?”
“Hmm… theres probably a more accurate explanation on the computer somewhere, but I think it’s when electrical signals stop?” I’d definitely known a more detailed answer at some point in my life, but the brain had never been my area of expertise, so my own brain hadn’t bothered to retain the information. Stupid brain.
Rocky nodded his carapace (a habit he’d picked up from me), “Ah, understand. Brain like machine. Machine need electricity to run.”
“Exactly,” I clapped my hands together again. “You nailed it on the head. Heh, no pun intended.”
Rocky just stood there and stared at me even more blankly than usual, “What is pun, question?”
“It’s a joke.” I cringed. “Sorry, That was probably in bad taste given, you know, that we’re talking about death and stuff.”
Rocky stamped his feet on the floor of his ball and chirped, “All Grace jokes bad. Rocky best at jokes.”
“Oh yeah?” I laughed, putting a hand on my chest defensively, “I’ll have you know that my students thought I was hilarious.”
Rocky let out a sound that sounded like a cross between a trill and a snort, “Just because Grace students laugh at Grace does not mean Grace jokes funny.”
“Hey!” I feigned offense, but there was a big, goofy smile on my face that totally gave me away. God, I loved this silly little alien.
It was nice, these small moments we could have together now that the threat of planet-wide extinction was no longer hanging over us. Before, any time we had fun, there had always been an astrophage-shaped elephant in the room. Any delay in our mission could mean millions more dead and gone and for what? So that we could screw around? Not that we didn’t do plenty of that because, well, we did (the well-used karaoke program in the don’t go crazy room was proof of that), but there was no guilt now. Time used to be the one thing that constantly felt like it was running out, but now, we had so much of it that it was almost overwhelming.
I was sure eventually we’d get sick of each other (four years is a long time), but now we had absolutely no excuse to not enjoy each other’s company and learn as much about each other as we could. Heck, if it wasn’t for the eventual threat of cabin fever, nutrient deficiency, and mind-numbing boredom, I’d say we were living the dream.
Rocky chirped with laughter, and I thanked my lucky stars that, of all of the sentient species that must exist in the universe, I was lucky enough to meet one with a mostly compatible sense of humor. If it wasn’t for our ability to laugh at each other, this trip would be whole lot less fun.
Given the way our serious conversation had derailed into mayhem (as they often did), I figured today’s lesson was probably over. Standing up with a stretch, I made a note to bring the defibrillator machine over to one of Rocky’s enclosures later so that he could examine it more closely. He’d seemed genuinely fascinated by it when I first brought it out, and I trusted that he’d return it more or less in one piece. Surely Armando wouldn’t miss it for a day or two.
Looking up at the empty white shelf where the defibrillator went, a red heart with the words “AED” printed on the glass door, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu, and then a memory came back to me in fragmented pieces.
The school bell ringing… chairs scraping as students left their desks… a bustling hallway… a scream… ushering students back into classrooms… standing there helpless… someone calling for an ambulance…
Rocky’s voice snapped me out of the strange trace I was in, “Grace need help with something, question?”
I looked down and realized that I’d been holding the machine in my hands and staring at the wall for at least the past minute. No wonder Rocky was concerned.
I wiped a sweaty hand across my forehead, “No no, I… I just remembered something. That’s all.”
“What Grace remember, question?” Rocky asked, his voice quiet.
Rocky’s people never forgot anything, so even though I’d explained the concept of amnesia to him many times, I don’t think he ever fully got used to it. To him, the whole idea was terrifying, like something out of a science fiction horror novel. Some days, I was inclined to agree with him.
This happened sometimes, random moments where I recalled details of my life that hadn’t been there before. Sometimes they were good, sometimes they were bad. Most often, they came in bits and pieces that took days to puzzle out. It was rare that I recalled such a large flash of information all at once. The last time had been on Rocky’s ship when I remembered the truth.
That I was a coward. That I wasn’t the brave human Rocky thought I was.
I still hadn’t told him about that memory; I was still too ashamed, but I’d talked about other memories with him before. It was hard to share a living space with a guy and not confide in him every now and again.
Besides, describing the memory helped. Rocky was a good listener when it really mattered, and he could tell when something I remembered upset me, this time being no exception.
He waited patiently while I sank to the floor, my back against the wall.
Once I started talking, it was difficult to stop.
“There was a janitor at my school,” I told him. “I didn’t know him that well, but he was a nice guy, got along well with the teachers and the kids. He helped me set up the solar system model in my classroom because I was too scared to get on the ladder.” I let out a short, bitter laugh at how ridiculous that sounded now given all of the insane things we’d done in the past few months.
“My third year teaching, his heart gave out and he just fell over in the middle of the hallway. I heard kids screaming, and I ran outside. I saw him on the floor and froze. Luckily, the gym teacher was also there and started CPR. They got a defibrillator going and everything.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding, my voice shaking.
“Nothing worked and he died, sudden cardiac arrest. I should have felt sad, and I was, but mostly I was just so goddamn relieved. Relieved that the gym teacher had been there. That I wasn’t the one who had to hold someone else’s life in their hands. God, I was so selfish. He had a wife and kids… I… I can’t imagine…”
Rocky cut me off, “Not selfish. Grace is brave brave brave. Death is scary. Is normal to be afraid. Rocky was afraid when crewmates died, does that make Rocky selfish, question?”
I wiped a tear off my face, stupid leaky space blob, “Of course not, but that’s different…”
Rocky shook his head, “No, not different. Death always scary. Humans live short lives. Death after short life always sad. When Eridians die after long life we grieve, loss is felt throughout thrum, but we also celebrate life of our Elders when they are lost. To feel many emotions is normal. Was janitor very old for human, question?”
“That’s the thing,” I explained, my voice still rough from all the leaking. “He was only in his late twenties, younger than I was. It was totally unexpected.”
Rocky nearly tripped over his own legs as he scuttled up to me in shock, “20 EARTH YEARS? Grace say humans live 80 to 100 years! Why heart fail after only twenty years, question?”
“He was a little older than that,” I clarified. “Probably around 28-ish?” I’d hoped that small correction would calm Rocky down a little, but if anything, he looked even more alarmed.
“Why? Why why why?” He asked me, repeating the question over and over.
“I dunno, Rock,” I answered. “It just happens sometimes. Eighty years is the average, but not everyone makes it that long. Sometimes people’s bodies give out with no warning even younger than that, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. That’s just life.”
Rocky started pacing back and forth, clearly upset, “Bad bad bad. On Erid this never happens. If life is cut short, it is because of accident or violence. Sometimes sickness, but that is rare and never sudden. Humans are very fragile to break on own with no warning.”
I tried giving him a comforting smile, “Not everyone can be as tough as you guys, Rock. Humans are pretty squishy and complicated. A lot can go wrong.”
Rocky fingers tapped against the xenonite like he always did when trying to solve a difficult problem.
Eventually, he straightened his legs with conviction and declared, “On Erid, Rocky make sure Grace have many doctors. Doctors monitor Grace insides and make sure nothing ever goes wrong. Grace live long long long time.”
From the look in his eyes (or carapace, whatever), I could tell he was dead serious about it too. What did I ever do to deserve a friend like Rocky? Nothing, that’s what. I could save Earth and Erid a million times over and not deserve this guy.
I decided not to mention my own doubts about my lifespan being as long as he hoped. Even if I made it to Erid and even if they could figure out a solution to the nutrition problem, the strain of being so poorly malnourished for such a long time would have a lasting effect on my body. No matter how complete my recovery, I would never return to my prior level of fitness. My organs and metabolic systems would have undergone permanent damage.
Rocky didn’t need to know any of that, though. He’d already seemed so shaken by the news that some humans died before their time; he didn’t need to know that I might end up being one of them.
I gave him a genuine smile this time, “Not sure it’s that simple, bud, but thanks. I appreciate it.” I rested my hand on top of his ball, “If it means anything, I don’t intend on leaving anytime soon. You’re stuck with me for a good, long time, I promise.”
He chirped happily, “Good good good. Rocky would not have any other way.”
***
Nearly six years into living on Erid, and I still woke up late.
I’d never been much of a morning person, even back on Earth, which had been difficult when I had to wake up early enough to bike three miles to school every day regardless of weather. The best perk of being the only famous alien teacher on all of Erid? I was allowed to make my own schedule.
No more 7:30 am first period classes for me. No, sir. I earned the right to be lazy, darn it. Even the savior of Erid wants to be able to hit the snooze button sometimes.
Okay, maybe it’s more like many, many times, but who’s counting?
Rocky, that’s who.
He came by at the same time every morning, and if I was still in bed by the time he got here then he’d cook my proverbial bacon. We weren’t roomies anymore, but I still wouldn’t put it past him to physically drag me out of bed in the morning. As much as I loved the guy, he could be ruthless when it came to matters of my health, and unfortunately he didn’t consider bed-rotting all day to be a healthy lifestyle choice. Regular drill sergeant, that guy.
I used my arms to leverage myself up from the bed with a pained grunt and then used the cane next to my bed to shamble my way into the bathroom. My body hurt more than usual today, but surprisingly it was not my knees this time that were bothering me. Nope, this morning’s complaint came curtesy of the awful heartburn I’d been having recently, a regrettable side effect of getting old without a constant supply of TUMS at your disposal. It was especially bad this morning, so I rubbed at my chest to try and dissipate the uncomfortable, burning feeling.
Come on body, I thought. You’ve eaten the same thing every meal for the past few years. If we stop being able to handle meburgers and vitamin shakes, it’s not like we can just switch to a Low-FODMAP diet. Erid living may have its perks, but the menu here is pretty limited.
Adding to my discomfort, there was also a new pain in my arm that hadn’t been there last night. Luckily, it was my left arm that felt sore and not my right, so I could still lean on my cane just fine. It was just another thing to add to my long laundry list of bodily complaints.
I tried to stretch out the limb to shake out the pain and groaned as that just made it worse. Someone should really talk to the big man upstairs about making it easier to get old on a planet with two times Earth gravity, but I doubt even he has jurisdiction all the way out here. Most Eridians pray to the planet itself, the rocky terrain of which they believe was made from the massive carapace of the first ever Eridian who died long ago. At this point, I’d try my luck with the giant, rocky, planet corpse if it could get me some ibuprofen and maybe an antacid. I ran out of both of those things a long time ago, and you don’t realize how much you’ll miss stuff like that until it’s gone.
I could have asked the scientists around here to make more medicines for me to use, but then I’d have to explain to Rocky why I’d let it go on for so long without saying anything. I really didn’t want to hear that lecture again. Was it stubborn and illogical of me? Absolutely, but if it wasn’t for my innate human stubbornness, I wouldn’t have made it past my first year on Erid, much less long enough to get all achy in the first place.
Operating on pure zombie instinct in lieu of actual wakefulness, I reached out for my fancy xenonite toothbrush and started the gentle process of cleaning a mouth that was only around 50% real teeth. After healing from the scurvy that made my smile resemble a broken piano, the empty holes had been filled with high end implants cursory of Armando and my lovely dental health team that I’d dubbed Plague Sabbath. For a species that had never had a need for dentists before I arrived, the Eridians tasked with this particular aspect of my health had taken to the job with gusto. After reading about the long tradition of humans using gold for teeth replacement, they’d managed to cook up a shiny white gold alloy that didn’t look exactly like real teeth, but was passable at a distance.
Honestly, apart from the fancy alien teeth, I didn’t look all that different than I remember other men my age looking back on Earth. By my best estimate, my body was around 55 years old, but exact birthdays were hard to keep track of because Erid didn’t follow an Earth-based 365 day calendar. The time dilation also meant that my body was younger than it would have been had I stayed on Earth, which only made things more confusing.
By Earth standards, I wasn't even that old. Heck, if I was back on Earth I probably wouldn't even be retirement age yet for another decade or so. The gravity situation on Erid just made my body wear down twice as fast as it should, which meant that I felt old. Combine that with sleeping through my early forties, and I sometimes I felt like I'd speedran being middle-aged and skipped right to being old and cranky.
I looked at my disheveled appearance in the mirror and tried to flatten my hair down into something remotely presentable. Both my hair and beard were almost entirely grey now, but I wasn’t going bald yet so I embraced the George Clooney look with the knowledge that it could definitely be worse. Besides, it wasn’t like anyone else on Erid could see the color change anyway.
I was in the middle of getting dressed, a slow, careful process on a day like today when just about everything hurt, when the loud, excessive knocking started.
“I’m coming! Give me a minute!” I yelled, my voice cracking a bit at the end. Darn it, I needed to sound less like crap if I planned on avoiding Rocky’s bloodhound-like scrutiny.
The knocking continued as I pulled on my shirt with a sigh. For a species with such a long lifespan, patience was not an Eridian virtue.
Grabbing my cane, I made my way to the front door, “I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold your horses.”
I opened the door to see my friend standing there impatiently in his xenonite suit just like he was every morning. Despite the pain and exhaustion, I was happy to see him. A sight for sore eyes (or in this case, everything but eyes) indeed.
“Grace always take so long to answer door, even though Rocky come at same time every day.” He waved a chastising arm at me. “What is point of clock if Grace not pay attention to time, question?”
“So judgy. I thought we were clock bros?” I asked innocently, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. God, I felt exhausted, and not a normal level of exhaustion either. I felt like I’d been run over by a cement truck, and unless some really weird stuff was happening in my enclosure while I was asleep, I was pretty sure that couldn’t be it.
Rocky raced up the steps and stamped his feet with impatience, “Grace and Rocky always bros. Grace is just lazy.”
Rock loved to chew me out for being slow in the mornings, but I could tell he was just as happy to see me as I was to see him. That’s the thing about having a best friend like Rocky. Once you get to know him well enough, he’s like an open book. It also helped that we knew each other better than anyone else in the world. We’d been together through thick and thin, Rock and I, and with any luck it was all sunshine and butterflies from now on, even if the butterflies had to be made from xenonite.
Swapping out my indoor cane for the specialized one Rocky had designed to work better in the sand, I pulled on my favorite sweater gingerly, careful of my aching arm, and joined him outside.
“Grace alright, question?” Rocky asked when he saw me moving slower than usual.
There was just no hiding anything from that guy. He knew me too well. Bloodhound indeed, even if he lacked the actual ability to smell. How he did it, I had no idea.
“Yeah, I’m just feeling a bit sore this morning,” I explained, trying to brush it off. I’d spent hours last night setting up for today’s class, and I knew the students were excited to learn about Sol’s solar system. It wouldn’t be fair to them to postpone the lesson just because I felt lousy when most of them were probably on their way to class already.
“Grace want to go back, question?” Rocky asked. “Use wheelchair, question?”
“No, no…” I waved him off.
“Rocky will carry Grace on his back like pebble if Rocky has to,” he warned.
I wheezed out a laugh at that. It was common for Eridian children to perch on their parents’ backs when traveling for long distances, which was adorable when they did it, but I doubted that I could perch on my best friend’s back like a man riding the world’s tiniest, weirdest horse without feeling absolutely ridiculous or falling off and hurting myself. Although, the fun mental image did momentarily dull the pain.
“Oh, I’m sure my students would get a kick out of seeing that,” I told him, breathing harder than usual as we walked along the shore, but I tried not to be too obvious about it. “I don’t think I’d ever live it down… but no, it’s not my knees this time, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
He scoffed, or as close as he could get to imitating the sound, “Rocky always worry about Grace. If not knees, then where Grace hurt, question?” He started poking at random parts of my body, like he was trying to diagnose me by touch alone.
“My arm’s sore, that’s all,” I told him. “I think I sprained it last night setting up the solar system model for the kids.”
Rocky shook his carapace in exasperation, “Grace very bad at build model. Stupid Grace should ask Rocky for help next time.”
“I’m a lot taller than you, bud. I don’t think you could have helped.”
He thought about that for a moment while we walked, the waves crashing gently against the shore. Our footprints marked the sand behind us as we made our way down the familiar path towards the classroom alcove on the other side of the cliff. On beautiful days like this, there was a calm peace in the salty air that made up for the artificiality of it all. The beach might be fake, but the two of us were real, and that was what mattered. I’d take this beach here now with Rocky over a million Earth beaches any day.
“Adrian taller than Rocky,” he eventually added. “Could help Grace.”
“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” I felt the heartburn in my chest flare up for a moment, so I changed the subject to get my mind off of it. “How is Adrian? And the pebbles? I haven’t seen them in a few days. I miss those little guys.”
Rocky hummed with excitement at the mention of his family, “Adrian left this morning for big science thrum. Very exciting. Big honor. Rocky stay behind to watch pebbles and Grace.”
“Hey, I’m not a pebble,” I laughed, amused at the implication that I needed to be watched like a child. I’d miss him, but it wasn’t like I wouldn’t understand if Rocky had to skip visiting for a day or two.
“You sure, question? Grace need lots of attention like a pebble. Grace bad at math like pebble. Maybe Grace need babysitting like pebble,” Rocky chittered smugly, practically skipping across the sand, far too pleased with his own sass.
I meant to get him back with some of our usual banter, but my brain was working so hard on putting one foot in front of the other that all I managed to say was, “Hah, I think I could live without supervision for a few days. Who’s watching the pebbles right now?”
“Adrian hatchmate.”
“Paulie?” I asked, cringing at the memory of the last time they’d babysat for the pebbles. They loved to rough-house with them, and those kids had been so riled up afterwards it had taken a full sleep cycle to get them to calm down. “Oh, he’s the worst.”
Rock dismissed my worry with, “Is only short time. Rocky cannot stay for long, but wanted to see Grace so Grace not worry.”
That was… super sweet of him.
“Next time, just bring them with you. I know they’re not… technically old enough to be my students but they can always sit in on a class.” I had to keep stopping mid sentence to breathe, not sure why I was panting so hard when I did this same walk yesterday no problem. “I don’t… I don’t mind. The more the… merrier.”
Rocky noticed my strange breathing around the same time I stopped walking, not sure I could go on. Why was this so hard all of a sudden?
“Grace okay, question?” Rocky asked quietly, an unmistakable tremor of fear in his voice.
“I just need… I just need to catch… my breath," I told him, my voice uncharacteristically quiet and breathless. I wasn’t fooling anybody, least of all Rocky, who looked absolutely paralyzed with terror.
No, no, I’d be fine. There was no reason for him to worry. I just needed a break, that was all. Maybe I should have brought the wheelchair. I made a bad judgement and overextended myself. Yeah, that had to be it. Rocky would take me home and tuck me into bed, chastising me the entire time but still staying to watch me sleep and teasing me when I was sore the next morning. That didn’t sound so bad, so why did everything hurt so much?
Rocky must have sensed something else off about me because he suddenly burst into panicked motion, skittering nervously at my side and yelling, “Grace heartbeat strange, statement! Grace lie down now, statement!”
I put a hand to my heart and felt it pounding under my skin. The pain magnified exponentially between each strained beat. What I'd felt this morning seemed like nothing compared to the awful burning in my chest right now.
“My chest… my chest hurts.” Oh God, it felt like my chest was on fire.
A pained choking noise came out of my mouth that I didn’t remember making. I was sweating and shaking, an impending feeling of doom spreading through my body like trendrils of ice along with the unmistakeable coldness of fear. I hadn’t felt fear like this in years, not since fishing on Adrian what seemed like a lifetime ago.
Rocky’s voice cried out next to me, “GRACE WHAT IS HAPPENING, QUESTION?”
“I don’t… I…”
Distantly, I could feel Rocky grabbing my arm and pulling me down into the sand, but the pain was so overwhelming that everything else faded into the periphery.
I was on my back now, my body sinking gently into the sand like it was about to swallow me whole. The lights from the top of the biodome were so bright they hurt my eyes. Rocky was upset about something. I could hear him crying and crawling all over me, but I was just so tired.
“Rock, I…”
Everything started going dark around me, the bright artificial lights dimming just like the stars had been once upon a time. Rocky and I had fixed the stars; they were bright again now, but this darkness didn’t feel like something we could fix as easily. It was pulling me down with it faster and faster with every staggered heartbeat.
Something was horribly, horribly, horribly, wrong.
Rocky was louder than I’d ever heard him before. It almost sounded like screaming, but I was too far gone to tell exactly what he was saying. I wanted to apologize for leaving him behind when he sounded so scared, but my body no longer felt like my own and everything faded so fast it was out of my control.
I opened my mouth to say something, to reassure him it would all be okay, but in the end, I didn’t manage to make any sound apart from a faint gurgle in the back of my throat before my breathing stopped and everything went black.