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Fu shivered, bundling up in the safety of his bed. Despite having a heater in his room, no one had ordered him (or told him for that matter) to use it.
“Dumbass. That’s because it’s common sense.”
“But, Hii, you know I can’t...” Fu whined before curling into himself even more, trying to generate as much heat as possible.
“You’re going to catch a damn cold at this rate. Are you seriously so pathetic that you can’t even turn on a heater by yourself?”
Fu stayed quiet, biting his lip. Hii was already familiar with the fact that Fu couldn’t do anything without orders after being together for so many years, but still insulted him for it all the time.
Plus, if Hii really cared that much about Fu becoming sick, he could just heal him right away!
He had a suspicion that the other was secretly enjoying his suffering. Sometimes he really did think that Hii was a sadist—at least whenever Fu is involved.
“You do remember that I can hear your damn thoughts, right?” Hii said with what was probably an almost smug, amused grin on his face. “Plus, healing you too much would make you sicker, and that’d be a fucking pain in the ass to deal with. It’s not like I’d let you get too sick anyway...” Hii started, before trailing off. The words had just slipped right out... cursing himself, Hii went completely silent.
Either out of shame or just not wanting to acknowledge his words, Fu had no idea, but it still brought a warm smile to his face.
“Master Hii...”
“No.”
And there was that. Fu sighed before bringing his legs closer to himself, wrapping his arms around them tighter before burying his head in his legs.
They stayed silent like that for a while, save for the occasional sneezes or trembling from Fu. However, their moment of peace was interrupted by a sharp, resounding knock on the door that repeated thrice.
Fu startled, raising his head before snapping out of his stupor to go open the door, tripping over his own feet a few times in his hurry. He swung the door open to be greeted by Zanka, who was standing mid-knock with a steaming mug in his hands.
“Ah. Hello, Fu,” Zanka tilted his head at the other boy, lowering his raised hand. “Please ‘scuse me for the interruption, I got ya some hot chocolate.”
“Z-Zanka...?” Fu looked at the taller boy in shock before turning his head away, embarrassed. “You didn’t need to...” He really hoped the blond couldn’t see the blush creeping onto his face from his neck.
“What are ya talkin’ about? Yer a Cleaner now, so we gotta make ya feel welcome.” Zanka grinned, the expression a crack in his usually stoic personality, before raising the mug toward Fu, playfully stopping just inches before his face. The smoke hit Fu’s face in a warm wave as the sweet, chocolate scent drifted into his room. “Plus, Eishia, Gris, and the others made a whole ton, and they’d be pretty damn upset if not everyone got one.”
“... I see.” Fu tried not to get too hung up on Zanka calling him one of the Cleaners. It was true after all, but hearing someone he admired so much acknowledge it... it was too much. (AND Zanka’s been in the Cleaners for so long!) A stupid, bright grin found its way onto Fu’s face before he could react. “Thank you, Zanka.” Taking the mug from Zanka’s hands, Fu breathed in the aromatic scent.
Seeing the smile, Zanka suddenly turned his head to the side, breaking eye contact with Fu as a soft red began to bloom on his face. “Yeah, uh... it’s nothing.”
Was Zanka sick too?
Fu stared at the other nervously, trying to check for signs of a cold or fever. He couldn’t tell, though, as he’s never even taken care of himself when sick in the past either. Hii would always heal him without Fu realizing he was unwell.
“Yeah. It was real tiring, you know? Having to take care of our body all the time so we didn’t die of a damn fever since you’re fucking useless.” Hii grumbled, but Fu could tell he was just complaining and didn’t have any real bite to his words. Fu quietly shushed him in his mind.
“So, uh,” Zanka’s gaze drifted back to Fu, almost nervously. He suddenly paused, looking quizzically at Fu. “You... look cold. Do you not have the heater on?”
Fu took a step back, awkwardly fidgeting with his hands. “Ah, well... Enjin—No, no one said that I could use it.” Now Zanka’s going to think that he’s pathetic for sure...
Zanka frowned, pursing his lips before muttering something under his breath, Fu catching snippets of curses and Enjin’s name.
He coughed into his hand before speaking. “As much as I admire the guy Enjin... He really needs ta take better care of ya.”
“No! I-it’s no problem—I don’t want to burden anyone with small things like this.”
“It’s not a burden.” Without warning, Zanka headed into Fu’s room, turning on the heater with a click. The machine slowly started with a hum as Zanka turned back around and led Fu out into the hallway, letting the door click shut behind them. “Come with me.”
An order...
Fu gulped, slowly following behind the other, albeit cautiously. Noticing this, Zanka slowed a step, walking side by side with the shorter boy as Fu raised his bowed head in surprise. They caught each other’s eyes for a moment before Zanka looked back ahead, giving no explanation as to where they were going while Fu kept his gaze on Zanka, a warm feeling flitting about in his stomach.
“Ugh... corny.”
Leave it up to Hii to ruin the moment. This time, however, Fu found that it didn’t bother him as much. Hii stayed quiet for the rest of the walk.
Nearing the end of the corridor, Zanka turned to the door on the right, turning the smooth doorknob with a click. Peeking inside from behind Zanka, Fu held his breath. “This... This is...”
“My room.” Zanka finished. “I don’t usually just go around showing anybody it, but I figured yer fine.”
Fu entered the room after Zanka, glancing around and trying to take in every detail. Everything was neat and organized, with its own little place. Lovely Assisstaff rested on the cream colored wall in the space between the desk and bed. There was a closet opposite the bed with a mirror on one side, glistening clean.
Fu didn’t realize he was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room until Zanka beckoned—well, told him to sit on the bed. Which Fu obeyed, feeling the slight dip in the mattress as Zanka settled next to him soon after.
Do you think this means he trusts us...? Fu asked Hii, practically floating on cloud nine as he remembered the Cleaner’s earlier words.
"Or maybe he just doesn’t want your pathetic ass freezing to death."
Yeah...maybe... Not listening to a word Hii said, he gave the doll in his hoodie pocket a reassuring squeeze as a silly smile found its way onto his face.
If Zanka noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. The room was warm from the activated heater, already making Fu feel a lot better. Zanka cleared his throat, “It’s gonna take a bit for your room to heat up, which is why we usually turn the heater on beforehand.” Looking back at the boy beside him, “No worries, though. You can just stay in my room for now...as long as you need to.”
“Thank you, Zanka. Really.” Fu beamed, hoping his gratitude showed. First the hot chocolate, then the care for his well-being. The Cleaners had been nothing but kind to him, and he couldn’t be grateful enough.
“N-no problem. Don’t mention it.” Zanka sheepishly smiled back, his blue eyes glinting under the light.
The two held each other’s gazes for a while, the soft hum of the heater and dimly flickering lights fading into the background as nothing else seemed to matter. Fu’s fingers gripped at the hem of his sweater, and Zanka found his traveling towards the direction of Lovely Assisstaff, but not daring to go any further.
Without noticing, the distance between them had closed until they could hear each other’s breathing, rhythmic inhales and exhales that quickened.
The room suddenly felt a whole lot hotter, and Fu felt his palms sweat as his smile wavered. Zanka leaned in, still looking at him with the same soft-spoken expression Fu couldn’t pull away from.
Fu’s eyes trailed down to Zanka’s soft lips, his own face completely flushing. Fu instinctively tilted his head up, looking into deep blue eyes that often had him mesmerized. This time, however, he wasn’t looking at them from a distance.
Fu’s lip parted, and the name slipped from his mouth before he could stop it.
“Zanka...”
Zanka barely reacted, as if in a trance. He gave a soft nod before lowering his head, their noses slightly grazing. Fu felt Zanka’s bangs fall onto his nose, a tickling feeling that made his breath hitch. Zanka moved to close the distance between them,
slowly,
slowly.
Until he was suddenly pushed back.
Jerking his head up, Zanka’s eyes were wide in shock. “F-Fu... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” His apologies were interrupted by a sneeze, and an embarrassed Fu awkwardly looked away.
“Sorry. I-I’m... kind of s-sick.”
Zanka blinked in surprise as Fu squeezed his eyes shut.
Huh?
Before Fu could melt into a puddle of shame, he was startled by a light, clear laugh coming from the other Cleaner.
“Why didn’t ya tell me? Here, are you cold?” Zanka lifted the blanket on the bed, a lighthearted gesture in his movements, and draped it over the two of them.
It was a silly sight, really: the two of them trying to fit under a blanket not quite big enough to share the warmth.
Zanka seemed to be aware of this with the wide grin on his face as he shifted more of the blanket onto Fu. Fu’s own face broke out into a goofy smile, hands tugging on the blanket.
The humming of the heater filled the room once more, less heavy this time.
Neither of them moved.
The blanket slowly slipped off their backs, and they hurried to readjust it, shoulders brushing as their hands touched for a fraction too long. Both Zanka and Fu turned their heads away, an identical red coating their faces.
Fu could feel his heartbeat hammering against his chest.
He peeked over at Zanka from where he’d slightly hidden himself under the covers; the soft light falling onto the Cleaner created a sort of glowing effect around the two, and Fu was once again reminded of why he admired Zanka so much.
The man was beautiful.
Zanka was beautiful, and Fu was his polar opposite. His expression slowly fell as he realized that even friendship was something out of his league, and that he was selfish for wishing for more.
He shouldn’t want this. He was a horrible person for even liking it. In the end, all Fu was doing was creating false hopes for himself just to have them crushed once more when his worst fears were confirmed.
In the midst of Fu’s anxious breakdown, two gentle hands touched against his jawline and lifted his head. He startled in surprise at the smile Zanka looked at him with, the understanding gaze that was so soft despite his sharp, narrowed eyes.
The nagging voice in the back of his head faded away, along with the threatening whispers of consequences.
This time, Fu leaned against the other, his frantic craving for the Cleaner pushing away whatever judgment he had as Zanka made no move to back away.
The blanket forgotten on the side, their lips touched softly against each other, and Fu’s hands locked against Zanka’s neck, feeling the cold skin underneath his fingertips.
Fu knew deep down that he would come to regret this heavy burden he brought upon himself, but Fu couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment—not with the scent of tea from the other clouding his senses and the feeling of Zanka’s cold breath against his face.
Not with Zanka being so close to him.
Maybe it’s okay to be selfish.