Chapter Text
"You know, Doctor, we wouldn't be having problems if you cleaned the TARDIS every once in awhile!"
"Don't judge me! You're judging me. You," the Doctor points from somewhere to somewhere Clara could be, "Y-You judgerist! Judger McJudgerson!"
If the Doctor could hear through walls or had eyes on his companion, he knows that she would be rolling her eyes until it reaches the end of time and space.
"How did you even lose your screwdriver? It's always in your pocket!" Clara shouts from, er, somewhere. The TARDIS is big. Bigger than the universe itself. He wouldn't know where she is unless the TARDIS wanted me to know.
"Well, it wasn't my fault that a hostile alien was hell bent on chasing us through space!"
"You're an alien yourself!"
"Now, that's just racism..."
They're scouring through the TARDIS because, yeah, a hostile alien with too much time on their hands wanted a piece of the TARDIS. And since the ship's stabilizer was broken from their last tryst with death, making loopdiloops with the gravity on made them experience a rollercoaster.
At least it's a rollercoaster in space! If that's any consolation to it...
The downside is that the Doctor's screwdriver is a victim of fall damage and it's somewhere in the ship's innards. Darnit.
He's scouring and diving into books of the ship's ever expansive library (all the books that has ever been written and books that are to be written. Could rival Dream's library. Beat that, Lucien!) and he doesn't even remember owning most of the books that's scattered on the floor. He doesn't even know why he's here. His screwdriver could be anywhere in the ship. Maybe it's drowing in the pool!
But his soul (and the TARDIS) tells him it's somewhere here...
"Hey, Doctor?"
It was Clara's voice that's growing closer and closer to where he's slumped on the library floor. The Doctor turns as he drops a pretty heavy book on his thigh, winces, almost curses, and spots Clara flipping through a book.
The book had gold embossed lettering on the front, stark on the black hard cover, and it's pretty thick. And also kind of new.
As Clara got closer, the time traveler reads the cover:
Astrophage; An Encyclopedia
Written by Ryland Grace
Posthumously Published By Eva Stratt
"What's astrophage?" Clara asks, and when she flips to the back, she perks up and turns the book towards him, "oh, never knew scientists could be so good looking."
And there he was, a picture of Ryland Grace, back when he was a middle school teacher. It was the taskforce's favorite picture to use for the media and the history books. Because Ryland Grace was just a man.
A man who feared death more than anyone in existence.
He doesnt't know how the book got into the TARDIS archival library.
"That shouldn't be here." I say where the dumb was founded.
"What do you mean shouldn't be here? It was with the other piles of books over there," Clara continues to walk towards him as she flips through the pages, "Astrophage, blah, blah, coined by Doctor Ryland Grace, ah, mister handsome. Smart man. Blah, blah, science things... Astrophage meaning star eater, interesting, interesting." She sits beside him as she continues to read through the pages. "When was this anyway? The book looks new—"
The Doctor plucks a memory from his mind and sighs, "Written 2018, published 2033."
Clara hums beside him, "Why'd take so long? Lots of drafts?"
"It's... it was to commemorate the day a certain ship reaches a planet, eleven point nine light-years from Earth. 2033 is also the year they deemed Ryland Grace dead."
Clara frowns then, "oh..."
The time traveler hums as he gingerly picks up the bokk from Clara's lap. "This shouldn't be here though. This book... it's from a different universe."
"What?! Then how is it here?"
The Doctor sighs, pats the floor of the TARDIS, then smiles, "because this beautiful ship of ours thinks it's something I should have."
A reminder perhaps; that a selfish act could selflessly save billions of lives.
That love prevails all.
"C'mon, Clara. We have a planet to mourn."
Erid was a desolate place in the universe where the Doctor exists. It used to be a place so vibrant of music it shakes your core. It used to have lives whose whole essence lies in harmonies and chords and whistles and sounds. Now it's a home of silence.
Astrophage did exist in this universe. But he was too ignorant to look away from Earth. He's solved the star eater problem even before it became a problem to Earth. Once that was done, he didn't look anywhere else. And because of his ignorance, Erid and countless other planets succumbed to their own versions of an Ice Age.
Landing on Erid was easy. The TARDIS knew to step on the planet with reverence; it was once home to billions of people. She knew not to step on what is essentially a massive grave now.
When they step out of the ship, the TARDIS protects them of the hostile conditions Erid had become. Without it's star, the atmosphere has thinned. And with it's even weakened magnetic force, the planet is a shell of what it used to be.
"Where are we, Doctor?" Clara says as she looks around. There wasn't anything to look at anyway. It was just miles and miles of cold wasteland.
"This is a planet called Erid. They perished long ago," the time traveler sighs. There are secrets he planned to take to the grave, but this isn't one. "This planet is proof of my failures."
"Failures? Were you the one who destroyed this place?"
"No, nothing like that. It was my actions that took this place to its demise."
The Doctor starts walking with no direction, contemplates with what he should say. Clara follows beside him, silent. She knew when to listen, when the Doctor wanted to share something that's been weighing his shoulders.
"Astrophage was real. It was a microbe that lived on Tau Ceti. Star eater... clever man that Ryland Grace is. Very... apropos. The microbe feeds on a star's energy and converts it to mass, then mass to energy. Repeat the cycle enough, eat the sun's energy enough, and you'll have a sun that shouldn't even count as a sun anymore... Lifeless. Wouldn't even be able to heat up a tree. It's an Ice Age inducer."
"Did it get here? The Astrophage?"
"It did. It got to Earth, too."
"What?"
"Hmm. Stopped it back in the 1800's. Stopped the problem even before it became a problem."
"Then... what happened here? In Erid, i mean? Too much Astrophage?"
The Doctor snort at that, but it wasn't of humor, "I was... I only did it for Earth. No one else."
When Erid perished, the planet had twelve billion Eridians mourning for their lives. Calling out for a savior. For a cure. For a doctor. And he was too far away to even listen.
They were silent for a moment. Maybe Clara was holding vigil, maybe she was garnering disgust for him. He doesn't want to know. He's been traveling through space and time trying to reverse the actions his ignorance made, but the universe deemed it a fixed point in time.
Erid was meant to perish, and isn't that a miserable thought to have lived with for centuries.
They walk in silence long enough to have walked to an entrance of a cave. They don't know how far they are from the TARDIS, but it wasn't far enough to have cut-off their life support system that the ship conviniently has.
He peers through the caves opening and notices that it was... bright inside. Not bright enough to light up the whole cave, but there was a flicker of light at the end of it. He could make a joke where he's peering through the afterlife, but he doesn't think that would cross great after his revalation.
The Doctor steps into the cave, curious, and Clara still follows beside him. He doesn't know why she's still here with him, or why she hasn't exploded in anger. He should be grateful that she hasn't run away from him, but the silence she's giving him was agony to his already under stimulated ears. There wasn't even a gush of air in Erid. Just pure desolation.
The cave stretches so far he doesn't know how far they've travelled through it. But the light doesn't go farther at least. If he looks back, he knows that the opening of the cave would be a spec in his vision.
They walk until he feels air billowing through his hair. It feels warm and he could smell the familiar salty sea breeze of Earth. They get close enough to hear water crashing through a shoreline and melodies ringing through their feet. It vibrates and resonates around them like a cathedral chiming their bells.
And at the end of the cave was a crack of light paved into the walls.
A crack in the wall of time and space.