Work Text:
“Can’t kill me, dumbass!” Bisei screamed as light sobbed below him, on his knees before the unkillable
Light had tried to use his death note to kill Bisei, but had patheticly failed, multiple times at this point. It was getting sad.
First, he had used the wrong name. Assuming he did something wrong, he tried again. It didn’t fucking work.
This time around, he had gotten the correct legal name, but the fucker didn’t die. FUCKING HOW????
Maybe he was just… too OP… or maybe this was all a schizophrenic episode…
He had to be hacking, right? There was no possible way for this little massive masculine twink of a man to be surviving. He should have twink-led his ass to heaven.
He had cheated the system, escaped the impossible. He used his little gamer anime femboy powers to get out of death. Why must these gosh damn cringy ass motherfucking losers do this.
He made my balls itch with anger. None of the others could survive, did the notebook no longer work? Or was this twink just no longer human. Perhaps both had come true.
Just to prove the point, I wrote another name into the book.
‘Izuku Midoryia, Truck-kun. 11:30am’ It was 11:29am.
“What will you do now, dear Bisei-kun?” Well too bad so sad cause he didn’t have the chance to even respond. Izuku died nearly instantly, how had Bisei not?
The book was clearly working, he had just ended the life of the green bitch, why not this one?
Light had brought his pen down to the death note, bistowning Bisei's name once again scribbling it down with a dramatically over down gesture. It was kinda cringe. He had written his name below the green bitches, taking up over half of the page as it was written larger than John Handcock on the declaration of fucking independence. Fucking has independence..? Huh. Who would have known that cracking had independence.
It was really big. Yeah. IT WAS SO BIG IT HAD TO WORK (that’s what she said, Bisei’s voice rung in his head) GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU ARE NOT SAIKI K
, ‘[DEADNAME] Bartels, heart attack, 11:31 am.’
“NOW, DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” Light screams
“Ok, ‘Bakugou’, sit ur ass down” Bisei responds mogging his ass, His dihh was clearly the bigger one.
Bisei then exploded, heart attack taken really literally as his heart explodes and attacks him like fucking 9/11. The crash burned his hair off, making him bald. Metaphortically of course.
A really sad event. RIP.
But just as he died, his quirk took over, taking care of it and repairing his heart. It was actually really fucking scary to see, someone who just died all of a sudden getting back up like it was nothing.
“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING IMORTAL” Light screamed, pulling at his own pubes in frusteration.
“It might be crazy what I’m bout to say…” Bisei suddenly begins, his OP winner speech beginning. Sigh, here comes a long ass monologue. That’s kinda gay.
(Monologue here)
Blah blah blah, proper name, place name, backstory stuff. That’s all Light got from that. As he looked at the suddenly, very attractive twink. WAIT HE JUST CALLED THIS LOSER GAY AND NOW HE DOING GAY ASS SHIT
THIS IS BACKWARDS.
Had his quirk also given him a glow up or something?
He was suddenly smitten, perhaps the inability to control this man, turned him on.
Sunny: He didn’t even think he was attracted to dick.. Let alone this man. Of which was now out due to the explosion, of which had gotten rid of his now degenerated clothes-
Somni & Bex: HEY HEY HEY
Somni: BAD CO-CREATOR
Bex: WE AINT WRITING THAT KINDA FIC
Somni: HIS CLOTHES ARE REGENERATING FROM MAGIC
Bex: WE WROTE METAPHORICAL ANYWAY
Somni: MAGIC
BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PROGRAM
His eyes lingered across the man, he had lived? The shock came slow, the realization of what he was feeling was slower though..
Slow
Slowewwwwwww
Slowwwwwwwwwwwww
SHIT IM IN HOMOSEXUALITYS WITH THIS TWINK
AH FUCK NAH
The twink had stolen his heart, a shocking feat. Who knew that a twink ass femboy, loser, gamer boy, dumbass, bitch, asshat, asshole, wall tack, pillow, blanket, bed, sleep, breakfast, lunch, dinner, ass, motherfucka could ever make Light fall in homosexuality with him.
Perhaps he really was hacking. He hacked into the complex thing inside his body. His hea- HIS AI!! YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, LIGHT YAGAMI IS AI -WHAT you fucking clanker ew ewwwww eeewwwww
HAHA YOU LOSER YOU FELL FOR IT HAHAHHAHAHA LIGHT YAGAMI ISNT AI YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL
Bisei must have hacked into his heart-! That was the only explanation.
He had to be hacking, because Light had never really felt this way about others, not even his ‘girlfriend’ Misa.
Light had turned into a homosexah for this freak. Of course, it would happen eventually. His hormone blockers wouldn’t last much longer against Biseis super mega enigma alpha pheromones, that totally were meant to be alpha pheromones. He could feel the need to breed.
These gay ass bitches.
Light Yagami, being an omega, had erges he must fulfill.
I need to be put down, Cause I got that dawg in me.
For being a homosexah. HOMOSEXAH~
This is where the homophobia comes in. Cause sense when could the gays be gay in peace and gay in gay we saw but in gay they don’t say cause they don’t like gay
In a primarily gay society, Light still finds being one disgusting, like most popular boys in high school making gay jokes in the back of the classroom. (Accurate)
“Your attempt at hiding the fact that you were Kira was pathetic by the way, a toddler could've figured it out-” Bisei was interrupted by Light tackling him in a threatening way, only for them to end up on the floor.
They began to makeout, sloppy style. Tongues and spit flying everywhere as they fulfill their horrid urges.
Did we ever mention that this is in a McDonalds parking lot, where else would this be happening? A private area? Nah that’s stupid.
There is a freak among us. There is always the freak. The freak sees everything. We are communists. The freak will watch you, freak. The freak is in the closest. The freak is the communist. The rest are blue haired liberals. The communists are always watching. Like Kim Jong Un. Communism. Communism. Cummunism. Cum-you-ism. i-shall-cum-in-you-ism.
Cum.
The thing that creates all life, men. The horrid creatures that cause others to suffer. The thing that most women would rather be with a bear than. Men are horrid creatures that we should kill off. I’m sure a women's only society would allow humanity to flourish, without the pain. The suffering of others that the pedos and rapists that most men turn out to be caused. The pain and sorrow that causes harm to children, women, and all other in between. Men abuse, men hate. Men on this earth, cause destruction. Trump being one of these men, a man convicted by a civil court of 9 for the rape of a women in the 90s. The man that has ordered us into a war that is completely and utterly pointless, with the excuse being ‘nuclear power’ a thing that according to the agreement made with Iran and Obama, Iran can literally never gain. Trump abolished this agreement, allowing them to gain it. Then turning it on them and threatening war crimes on their public. Saying in his truth social that he plans to “send them to the stone ages”. Bombing civilian infrastructure. But, anyway-
The two gay men began making out, sloppy style in the McDonald's parking lot as Misa's fatass pulls up for her Big Mac, dragging L with her after convincing him with Ice Cream.
Sadly, the Ice cream machine was broken. Kinda like Lights back after ts. The communists were the people working in the McDonald. It was all the communists, they broke the ice cream machine.
But guess what. powerful hero, All might flew into the window, it didn’t break as he thought it would and he smashed his big fat dihh into the glass. He than stood up and walked over to the dore, but accidentally pushed the pull door. Leading to an embarrassingly long silence as everyone turned and stared for a moment.
Light and Bisei both starred as All Might managed to get into the McDonalds. Before goin back to touchin eachother again.
“DO NOT FEAR DEAR YOUNG L AND YOUNG MISA! I AM HERE TO FIGHT THE COMMUNISTS!” All Might yelled, his voice so high it broke the windows.WOW so they choose to break from his voice but not his amazing big awesome cock.
“CAPITALISM FOR THE WIN, DIE YOU DAMN RUSSIANS”
The communists were North Korean spies, making AllMight racist.
Communists have that dawg in them.
Misa and L slowly backed away and left the McDonalds.
Thighs vs Dihhs have that dawg in them. Common sense. Dawg.
“EW, WHY ARE YALL MAKING OUT IN THE BACK OF A MCDONALDS?” Misa says, her face looking as though she may projectile vomit at the sight.
We love making out in the back of a McDonalds. Cuz making out in the back of a McDonald got that dawg in it.
My co-creators were making suggestive jokes at each other. Send help— Somni (NOT PORTORICO. fine, Portugal. NO.)
Porto Rico got that dawg in it.
As Bisei kissed me, I had mixed feelings overall. It started out nice, our lips meeting in the middle creating a wonderful sensation. The man began to open his mouth ever so slightly as his tongue beckoned to be let into the man's mouth…
Bex: OKAY! ONTO L’S PERSPECTIVE-
Light seems to have taken a liking to this MHA OC that has been displaced from his own timeline… if he really was Kira he would want me to think that was too spontaneous of a decision for Kira to make, but of course I had thought past that… sort of-
Bisei was quite the turbulent motherfucking. Fly high, fly high. Shine bright like a diamond. You gay vagina. You lesbian cock.
The game,, I lost it.
And then the universe implodes itself because there was too much happening and OC’s were never ment to have cross-overs like this.
Buye byue.