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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-06-05
Updated:
2026-06-11
Words:
5,688
Chapters:
8/?
Comments:
75
Kudos:
447
Bookmarks:
105
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7,145

He's All Yours

Summary:

Ilya Rozanov is in a bitch of a mood and Cliff Marleau goes to great lengths to save his team's sanity (and his broken body) by enlisting the help of Rose Landry-- the woman he suspects his increasingly unstable captain is in love with.

Notes:

Inspired by Tiktok user @skyj80’s video and a series of comments expanding on the premise of the video. I have switched from a FaceTime to a series of Whatsapp messages, and roped in a few other friends along the way.

I have chosen to use WhatsApp for ease of consistency, and lets just pretend that the WhatsApp UI shows the date above every set of different messages so you can follow the timeline better.

Rated T, but there will likely be either additional bonus smut chapters or some companion one-shots (haven't decided yet).

You can generally assume that all typos, grammatical errors, and slang are intentional character choices (mostly courtesy of Marly's big beautiful concussed himbo millenial brain).

All chapters will be separate chats for ease of reading, the chats are scrollable and remember to turn on creator's style!!

Chapter 1: Marly & Rose

Summary:

A desperate Cliff Marleau reaches out to Rose Landry for help.

Notes:

Quick note on timelines -- after closely reviewing the existing show timeline and using the real life 2016 NHL schedules for the Habs and Bruins as a scaffold, I've decided that the Tuna Meltdown occurred on October 13, 2016 and Rose and Shane meet and begin dating on October 18. The Club Incident happens on November 8, and Rose and Shane have their come to (gay) Jesus talk during dinner and break up on November 11.

Chapter Text

Whatsapp chat with: Rose Landry

December 10, 2016

Sent Message: hey, sorry but is this rose landry? 09:47

Received Message:uhh, who is this? 09:49

Sent Message: its Cliff Marleau from the Boston Raiders don’t be mad but I got ur number from my sister she got it from her friend Tanya who does ur makeup 09:50

its kind of an emergency otherwise i wldnt text u out of the blue liek this 09:50

sry i hope ur not mad i promise im not a weirdo i just dont know who else to txt 09:50

Received Message:whoa, slow down Cliff, its all good! I know Tanya wouldn’t give out this number to a weirdo, loll 09:51

wait, what’s the emergency?? 09:51

Sent Message: u gotta break up with shane hollander 09:52

Received Message:i’m sorry, what? 09:52

Sent Message: we’re dying here rosie, ilya’s trying to kill us 09:53

Received Message:Ilya? Like Ilya Rozanov? 09:54

Sent Message: he’s had us doing bag skates since 5AM 09:55

my fucking quads feel like their on fire 09:55

ive puked twice today already, he keeps threatening to call an afternoon session AND we have a game tonight im gonna die i s2g 09:55

Received Message:ok, that absolutely sucks Cliff, and I am sorry, but im a bit confused about what that has to do with me and Shane?? 09:56

Sent Message: all this started when u and Hollander started dating in october ilya’s been fuckin brutal ever since 09:57

at first i just thought it was because we were on a losing streak but jesus christ its been almost two months and hes still at it 09:57

and i realised smthing the other day, Roz flips the fuck out whenever someone brings up u and hollander. connors showed us a photo of u guys at lunch yesterday and Roz threw his phone across the locker room 09:57

rose, idk if im crazy or what but i think Roz is in love with u 09:59

Received Message:oh 10:01

Sent Message: what does oh mean rose??? 10:01

???? 10:06

Received Message:ahh, sorry, didn’t mean to ignore you!! Um, okay, do you think that Ilya would mind if you gave me his number? 10:08

Sent Message: thank fuck 10:09

1-781-555-0000 10:09

ur a fuckin beautician rosie 10:09

Received Message:i don’t know what that means Cliff 10:10

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