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As Phil finally catches his breath, he finds himself slowly melting away from the warmth of Dan’s arms wrapped around his body. He allows himself to sink against Dan’s chest, the sound of his steady heart beating beneath his ear. He can feel his eyelids grow heavy as Dan’s arms firmly hold him closer, as if he fears Phil fading away the second he lets go. He nuzzles further, allowing Dan to trace patterns on the freckles on his back using just his fingertips and whisper sweet nothings. Deep down, Phil can feel his eyelids growing heavier as the second passes. His drowsiness is starting to catch up to him, but he can’t allow himself to sleep. How can he, when he has the man of his dreams beneath him? How can he, when he can feel his tension melting away the second his lover gently runs his fingers through his blonde hair?
Phil can’t get enough of lying together in the afterglow, especially right after his partner was kind enough to offer to clean up for both of them.
“You’re actually a princess,” he remembers Dan playfully teasing.
His playful Dan. His affectionate Dan, who smothers light kisses all over his ruffled hair. His devoted Dan that nobody else gets to see. His Dan, who belongs to him alone. His Dan, who’s suddenly nuzzling into his hair with soft sniffs in between the light kisses.
“I can hear you starting to growl like a dog,” Phil finally interrupts the comfortable silence between the two. “Growling and sniffing.”
Dan scoffs. “A dog?”
“Marking your territory, aren’t ya?”
Dan chuckles, “Did that nearly 17 years ago, I think. Plus, I think to mark my territory, I would have to do something else.”
“Let’s not do that.”
Dan laughs under his breath in response, continuing to nuzzle into his hair and rubbing his fingertips on Phil’s back.
Phil continues to fight back the exhaustion that was creeping up on him not too long ago, the drooping eyelids suddenly sneaking their way back. All he wants to do is smother his lover with sloppy kisses all over him. He wants to braid his curly mullet somehow, he wants to bite his cheeks, and he just wants to pester him all night just because he feels like it.
Phil’s love for Dan swells so severely in a way that he is unclear as to how he can contain something so big. His adoration for him consumes him so much that he can feel his heart racing just thinking about it. His thoughts continue to blur in his head, and all he wants to do is hold him and keep him close. And God, Dan’s chest is so broad and strong beneath him, like it was made to hold him there until the end of time. His strong arms continue to be wrapped around him steadily, holding him to ensure to the rest of the universe that Phil is the only being that matters. One of Dan’s hands moves slowly, as the running through Phil’s hair eventually turns into gentle, grounded scratches.
Additionally, Phil has taken note of Dan’s continuous trips to the gym, and they have been extremely beneficial for both parties. They have greatly impacted Dan’s physical and mental state, of course, but observing his muscle gains and sudden upper strength has become such a turn-on for Phil. Just seeing how much Dan has grown has caught him off guard in a way he can’t fully comprehend. As a matter of fact, it’s not only the physical change, but the quiet confidence that Dan has begun to carry within himself.
God, he can’t get enough of Dan. His Dan.
“You’re thinking out loud,” Dan murmurs, being the one to interrupt the silence this time.
“Am not.”
Dan chuckles. “What’s on your mind, baby?”
Phil quickly glances over the clock in their bedroom. 2:48 AM.
He loves this sleepy, soft side of Dan. He feels even more fortunate knowing that he is the only person in the whole universe who gets to see him like this.
Phil glances up at Dan. “You’re so warm. And gorgeous. And lovely.”
Dan laughs quietly against him, “Your post-sex brain is truly fascinating, Phil.”
“Shut up.”
Deep down, Phil knows Dan’s voice is all he ever wants to hear for the rest of his life.
Dan continues, “You know I always mean what I say, right? It’s never just dirty talk?”
It takes Phil a moment to register the sudden change of topic.
The two tend to make a lot, if not too many, sex jokes on the internet; their shared podcasts and videos online say it all. In truth, sex isn’t something that either of them take lightly. Their intimacy has always been a sacred space for them to physically and emotionally connect, and it has always been a sentimental experience for the two of them.
Especially for Phil.
He can never truly prepare himself for the sight, no matter how many years it has been. Every single time his gaze drifts upward and finds Dan, his Dan, his captivating beauty knocks the breath from him. He would always draw his attention to his skin constellations and his warm eyes, and all he could really do is admire the view. He can never get enough of the way Dan’s voice always softens when they are holding each other, how every word spoken melts into something gentle.
“You’re so beautiful like this.”
“I know, baby, I know. I got you.”
“You always feel so good, baby.”
“I’m all yours.”
It’s never been just dirty talk, and it’s never felt empty. Dan’s words have always carried more than heat, and Phil always carried this truth within him.
Who gives a shit if his lover doesn’t often show a public display of affection on the internet for the whole world to comment on? After all, it has always been just for Phil’s eyes, and that is more than enough for him.
Phil responds, “I know.”
“I can feel you thinking, bub,” Dan says. “Seriously, are you okay?”
He has all that he needs underneath him, and that is more than enough.
Phil responds, “I’m okay, I promise. ‘M just feeling sappy.”
“You absolute sap,” Dan responds, holding Phil closer. “I love you.”
Phil murmurs, “I love you, too, you sap beast.”
At last, Phil can feel the heaviness on his eyelids defeat him once more.
He can feel himself slipping into sleep, settling against the man who is his forever.
There is nothing more Phil needs. There is nothing less.