Archive of Our Own

“I don’t want to do public facing things.”

The door to her office swung closed heavily behind him, sealing out any possible prying ears. Unfortunately, rumours travelled fast on a boat, even one of this size, and she could tell by Grace’s tone alone that he was ready to argue his case on this. Better in her office than out in the corridor. 

“Dr Grace.”

“Please, don’t make me do public facing work. Let me stay in my lab, don’t put me on camera or on a stage.”

She did not have time for this discussion, and frankly she could not work out why he was so against it. He was, despite the occasional misstep, a skilled speaker and presenter, capable of breaking information down to suit any audience. At least, when he wasn’t put on the spot, but that was why she had warned him in advance this time. She needed someone at this conference who could break down the science and answer technical questions that she didn’t have the answers too. Her role in all of this was logistical, she simply didn’t have the background he did, and any good press they could get right now was vital. They couldn’t afford to mess this up, which was yet another reason she’d chosen him as her second. He was good at this, very good, and she needed him to step up. She did not have time for him to have a confidence crisis.

“You’ll do fine,” she reassured him, “you were a teacher, you did conferences, you can talk to a camera or a room…”

“It’s not about if I can do it,” he interrupted,“it’s… I…”

She looked up from her desk as he trailed off.

“Dr Grace?”

“I don’t want him to find me, and if I put myself out there like that, on something the whole world will see, he will. And I know it’s irrational because we’re on a boat in the middle of nowhere and you have security follow me everywhere on land and I’m probably completely overreacting but the idea of him even knowing where I am is… please.”

Her eyes went wide.

That was not what she had been expecting him to say at all. Stage fright, fear of putting himself front and centre, but not this genuine terror. Words tumbling out of him like he’d not be allowed to continue if he stopped, like she would dismiss him if he didn’t explain his entire thought process first, desperate justification of his reasons like she’d never seen from him before. Worse still, he was presenting her with an unknown threat. She hadn’t seen anything listed in his file that would suggest any enemies, even the scientists who strongly disliked him were willing to set that aside for the greater good, most of them had recommended him. She knew him well enough to know if he said he was in danger, he was, and her background check hadn’t identified it.

“Who? Who is he?”

“My ex. Well, not ex, legally we’re still married. He…" Grace looked over to her, confusion overtaking his distress, “was that not on your file?”

The former relationship had been mentioned, but only briefly. His file hadn’t been especially detailed in truth, at least not the one she’d been given to scan over. Twin brother, neglectful parents, a bright but short academic career, followed by a break after the UNESCO conference and then a step into teaching. Only one long term relationship, somehow with a movie star, which truthfully hadn’t lasted that long, and a divorce in progress but stalled in the legal system. There had been no red flags attached to any of it, no warnings, no notices of key threats or issues to be aware of. But his hands were shaking at the mere mention of the man, that was not behaviour that came from an amicable divorce or a good situation, something had been missed. 

“I saw you had filed for divorce, returned to your old name and no longer lived with a partner, I did not realise the situation was… alarming.”

“That’s a word for it.”

He slumped into the sofa in her office, running a hand under his glasses. He looked worn. Aged by the topic alone. He was only 33, it was easy to forget that. He’d achieved so much so early in his career. He knew so much about his subject areas and managed his team and his workload with ease, it was easy to forget he just wasn’t that old, in the grand scheme of things. Neither was she, really, and she was sure there were people out there who loathed the idea that the people leading the project to save the world were both under 40, but this was how the chips had fallen. Age mattered less than ability, and Dr Grace had his first PhD before he turned 25 and had been lecturing and researching to a career path that would have led him to being her first choice even if he hadn’t dropped away from it for a time. It was probably even preferential that they had younger scientists and leadership working in the Taskforce, as the impacts of the Petrova Line were only going to worsen and consistency and continuity may well be effective tools. In regards to the project, his age simply wasn’t significant.

In this moment, it felt significant.

“You wouldn’t say alarming?”

“I’d say he dropped my brother 12 stories less than a week after I filed for divorce, but I can’t prove it.”

Her pen slipped out of her grasp.

That was far more severe than she had been expecting. Absolutely nothing in her files had indicated that, or anything close. His brother’s fall had barely been a footnote, though he had just said he couldn’t prove it. It was something incredibly severe to have missed. Even if there was no proof of it, something should have been at least noted. Something to that degree did not occur without precursors and Grace was not the type to imagine such things through paranoia. If he suspected it, she imagined he was not far from the truth. Which meant there was a threat to her lead scientist that had been missed. 

“Explain.”

“He… I… which part?”

“All of it, from the beginning.”

She needed to know what she was working with here, given someone had clearly already failed at that. She did not enjoy being in the dark, especially on something so important. Someone so important.

“I… You really want me to waste time talking about this?”

“It’a not a waste of time.”

He raised an eyebrow, and it almost could have convinced her he was unbothered by the topic, that it was just simple gossip unsuitable for her time. Unfortunately for him, she knew him too well to believe that. He was deeply distressed by the subject. From the way he was fiddling with his finger as if twisting a ring he no longer wore to the press of his lips to his very attempts to deflect her from the conversation, this had cut him deeply and was stressing him greatly. If she did not know him as well, if the situation was not as it was, she might have let him get away with his deflection, let him come to her when he was eventually comfortable enough to discuss it, but if there was an active threat to his safety she needed to know, and if this was a weight hanging on his shoulders she wanted to help ease it. If nothing else, if he wanted to use it as a reason not to do public events, he would need to actually give her a reason. 

“You have the weight of the world on your shoulders Stratt, literally, and you want to take time to listen about my ex.”

“Our roles in this can be isolating, but I would like to believe that you and I can be open with each other when needed. We work very closely together, and you have supported me through many difficult decisions, I would like to think you can rely on me the same way.”

They were the two highest ranking members of the Project and the Taskforce, confined by their ranks above the rest of their team. They could not as easily confide with those who were relying on them to stay strong and lead them through this storm, in truth Grace was the only person she could let her guard down with, and though she knew he was more social with the crew, it was much the same for him. More than that, she would like to think they were friends. She hoped Grace could trust her with this.

“So it’s not just that I don’t want to be public facing?”

He shot her a slight grin but she could easily see through his deflection and his denial. Was it so hard for him to believed she cared beyond his usefulness? She tried not to take that personally, with what he was hinting at, there was every chance he struggled to believe anyone cared beyond his usefulness. In truth, it was pretty in keeping with the behaviour she’d seen from him over the last year, though she’d thought she’d had more success in convincing him otherwise.

“That is secondary, I am far more concerned about a possible threat to your safety. And how this may be affecting you. Let me help, please.”

A twelve story drop over divorce papers were indicative of a great threat to his safety. And that was going after a surrogate, his twin, possibly because the man didn’t have access to Grace in that moment. She wondered if he’d already gone into hiding, or at least taken action to put distance between himself and his ex, there was every chance his brother had been the only one available, and she was certain that must have been crushing for Grace in of itself. She didn’t want to see what he might do to her second if he got his hands on him. The idea made her stomach twist. She didn’t want to consider a situation where he’d had access to Grace, the project would be in dire straits if nothing else.

He clasped his hands again, thumb running across the base of his ring finger in that same repetitive motion, opening and closing his mouth a few times like he couldn’t quite work out how to start.

“Grace, take a breath…”

“I’ve never actually spoken to anyone about it before, not properly. Most people assumed I was lying, nobody would believe me even when I did tell them, I mean, you know who he is, right?”

“Tom Ryder, the actor.”

Big name, well known, she’d been stunned the first time she’d seen it. She couldn't see the appeal of the man personally, his movies were ok but he was hardly one of her favourite actors, always seemed a little egotistical to her, but she knew of his global reputation, everyone did. He had a massive and loyal fanbase, his reputation remained favourable in the public eye even with a few wild parties or drunken shenanigans. She hadn’t quite worked out how he and her lead scientist had ended up in a relationship, or why they’d decided to get divorced, but once again, there had been no red flags. 

“Yeah. It started so… simply, all things considered. Harmlessly. He was kind, charismatic, worked with my brother, and he was interested in me. I probably sound stupid to say it, but Colt was always the people-person, he was the one everyone got along with and I never quite fit as well, the idea that someone so outgoing and charismatic wanted me…” he trailed off.

“I don’t think that’s stupid.”

She meant it, truly. He had been young, early 20’s, and just finishing his first PhD. Absent parents, no other family, always part of a matching set, a desire to be seen would only be natural. A movie star had started to pay him consistent attention, probably lavished him with favour and gifts, chosen him over anyone else, she could imagine it being a heady mix. It happened to hundreds of people every day. Good people, kind people, people like Dr Grace. History was littered with people who’d fallen victim to charisma and charm, and the only people to blame were those who took advantage of others and chose cruelty. She did not think there was anything stupid about a desire to be chosen, to be wanted, to be loved.

“I didn’t fall for him, well, I fell for his charm and stuff, but I never loved him, it wasn’t love. It wasn’t like I was mindlessly head over heels or anything, just a fling, I guess. I was still figuring myself out, and it was fun. I got my PhD, I got a good job I loved, a man so out of my league was interested in me, life was going well. Too well, I suppose. Didn’t realise he, well, he liked me a lot more than I liked him. The whole thing was like a riptide really, one minute you’re on the beach enjoying your day, the next you’re in the middle of the ocean trying to keep your head above water.” he huffed a laugh, “Swept up like the tide, yeah, that sums Tom up pretty well.”

“If you were not that enamoured, why did you agree to marry him?”

That did not sound like the Grace she knew. Of course, this had been years ago and perhaps some past impulsive nature had been tempered, but she could not imagine the man she knew to make that decision. Perhaps it had been social pressure, a public proposal or the expectations of friends and family, leaving him feeling emotionally cornered or something. With a celebrity actor, she could imagine something like that, such a big thing made of it that Grace had felt he had no option but to say yes, let it play out. But even still, he was strong willed enough that she couldn’t believe he’d go along with it without some other underlying reason.

Once again he took a few seconds like he was trying to work out the best way to formulate his answer.

“You ever wake up seriously hungover, married, and with no legal recourse?” He wrung his hands together in his lap, “It’s not fun.”

“You were drunk when you married him?”

This just kept getting worse.

She hadn’t seem him drunk once in the year since they’d met, even on the occasions where they had alcohol on the ship for an event or attended a closed conference on land. He tended to stick to sodas, or alcohol free versions, which she supposed now made sense. To have been taken so advantage of before, she’d be more cautious after that. More than just cautious. She wondered if it had been a Vegas wedding, god, she couldn’t let that get around to the crew. His reputation would never recover, even if he’d been a victim.

“It was supposed to be a party, I think it had been a wrap party, and it was fun, to start. I vaguely remember him dragging me to the dance floor, shoving drinks into my hand, I still don’t think I drank that many, which makes me feel like one of them was spiked, not that I have any proof. Wouldn’t be the last time he gave me something to ‘help me chill out’.” He muttered that last part and her gut clenched, “But yeah, woke up in his bed the next morning, ring on my finger, utterly screwed. Suddenly the guy I was having a fling with was my husband, and there was nothing I could do about it.”

His eyes were locked on the wall behind her head as he said it, hand trembling slightly in a clenched fist. Frankly, she felt he was under-reacting to the horror of what he’d just told her. Someone he’d trusted had taken complete advantage, stolen his ability to consent, then trapped him in a situation he wanted no part in. Someone had done that to the man before her, to her trusted second in command, to her friend. Drugged him, and more than once, apparently. It was despicable behaviour, and entirely illegal. She could not imagine a situation where drugging someone into submission would be acceptable, at least in normal circumstances. She hoped this job never forced her to have to consider something like that, but given what Grace was telling her now, she would make sure he wasn’t a part of it if she ever did have to make that hateful choice. She wouldn’t put that on him.

“That should be cause for annulment, you couldn’t consent.”

He sighed deeply, eyes falling closed, and she almost felt bad for saying it. She was certain he had considered that, even at the time, but she’d not meant it to imply he’d had an easy way out he’d never thought of. He was incredibly smart and practical, he would have considered that option, but he hadn’t taken it. She couldn’t work out why he wouldn’t have taken it. Why he had stayed.

“He’s rich, he has an army of lawyers on his side, and people who’s whole job is to make him look good, and they get paid a fortune to do it. I was working on grant funding and a junior lecturer’s salary. He didn’t want it annulled, so it wasn’t, and that was that.” He dropped his head into his hands again, “Then I made it worse by screwing everything up and losing my job, and he made damn sure I couldn’t get another one. After that, I had nothing to fight with at all.”

It took her a second to process what exactly he was implying there regarding his departure from academia. She knew what most on the boat knew of it, the ‘waste of carbon’ incident at the conference, vanishing out of the academic world not long after, then finally resurfacing as a teacher, where she found him. The timeline had all seemed fairly innocent, aside from the obvious catastrophe of his outburst at the conference. Was he suggesting Ryder had played a part in his losing his job too? He was famous certainly, but did he have that level of power?

“He interfered with your career?”

She couldn’t keep the cold anger from seeping into her voice as she said it.

“Contrary to what people seem to think, my waste of carbon comment wasn’t actually career ending. Yeah I lost the job I had, but I had other offers, options I could have taken, my funding was external and only paused until I could find a new lab to work from, I could have kept going. I was new in my career but I was pretty well regarded as a researcher and lecturer, I had options. Except every time I went for one of those positions, the department would suddenly get a new grant or a large donation, enough to buy that new top of the line bit of equipment or fund a new PhD student, and the offer would vanish.”

Keeping him financially reliant on his partner and isolated. It was efficient and methodical and cruel. He hadn’t run from criticism like so many in his field quietly claimed behind his back, vanished the second he faced pushback, he’d been sabotaged at every turn. Grace had been controlled, cornered, trapped. Foul behaviour, the kind of thing nobody deserved, and especially not her top scientist. His bright career had been stalled by outside interference, and nobody knew about it, even the scientists he worked with thought he’d ruined it himself, consequences of his own actions. Nobody knew.

“That’s… I’m sorry.”

“Worst thing is, I wasn’t even angry I was being challenged, not really, not on the science. I always enjoyed debates and defending my work, but I was so angry and tired and stressed about the situation with Tom, so tired of being pushed and doubted and belittled and trapped and I just… I snapped. And I screwed myself over completely.”

“Those years between your position at UCLA and Grover Cleveland, you were with him?”

His file had suggested so and yet, it was so much more sinister now.

“Yeah, house husband.” He did a small, sarcastic jazz hands as he said it, then sank deeper into the chair, “It was a few months after I published that controversial paper, guess he didn’t like how much attention I was getting from it, how focused I was on that and not on him. He loved that I was ‘his smart little scientist’ but he sure as hell didn’t want me around other scientists or going to conferences away from him or focusing more of my attention on my research than him. Tried to convince me it was a blessing in disguise, that my snapping was just proof of how stressed it had me, ‘so stressed all the time darlin', gonna ruin that pretty brain of yours’” he cut off his impression with a scowl, ”he said maybe a break would do me some good… and I just never got to go back to my life. Still don’t know how I managed to convince him to let me get my teaching qualification.”

“Oh?”

It wasn’t what she wanted to say, but in truth she had no idea what to say to that. What a jealous, selfish, cruel man. ‘Let him’ do a teaching qualification? ‘Let’? Even the way Grace parroted the word had her skin crawling, she didn’t want to think about what she’d do to that man if she had him in her proximity. 

“I always hated the crowds, the attention, unless I was talking about science anyway. He did respect that, or maybe just wanted to keep me all to himself, but it meant I didn’t have to be hanging off his arm at events all dressed up or anything. Small mercies. But I was going crazy in the house with nothing to do, and I was lonely and miserable, and even the things he kept giving me to ‘help’ weren’t helping, so I guess he let me do the course. Kept saying he was scared of losing the part of me he fell for, don’t know how he expected to keep it when he took away all the things that shaped that part of me. At first he tried Jean-Claude, when that didn’t magically fix me, a teaching course.”

“Jean-Claude?”

Given all he’d said so far, that could be anything from a paid companion to a party drug to Lord only knew what.

“My dog, well, his technically, I couldn’t bring him with me when I left, so he’s Tom's. He was this amazing, eager Australian Kelpie, though I guess not a puppy anymore. All his commands were in French for some reason, but he was a softie mostly, and very smart. Why the dog he got me to be a companion had an order to bite people in the balls I still don’t know, but he was a good companion, a good friend, just… a puppy couldn’t replace what I’d lost. At least the degree was something to do, and an escape plan. It was all remote, and I guess middle schoolers weren’t the same threat to him as my undergrad students or fellow lecturers, but it came in useful once I got away. Convincing someone in the admin office to send me a copy that said ‘Ryland Grace’ instead of ‘Ryland Ryder’ was one of my better decisions, really.”

The casual references to the deep and pervasive control the man had taken over his life made her stomach turn. Ending his career, isolating him from just about everyone, what would the world have come to if she hadn’t been able to find him when they needed him, what would have happened to her friend if he hadn’t managed to escape? She couldn’t imagine all of this without him being a part of it, where would they be if Ryder had done something drastic. If Grace had faded away all alone in that place. Her wonderful, brilliant friend who was kind and creative in ways that most people would think could never work with her rigid, closed off style, but complemented it perfectly. Grace was a light in the darkness for everyone around him, and someone had tried to dim that. Not just dim, extinguish.

“You had nobody to help you?”

No friends or colleagues or anyone who’d notice what was happening and do something. To notice him vanishing from his own life, vanishing on himself. To notice the sabotage when he applied for new positions or question why he stopped going to conferences and writing papers overnight. Even if the common consensus had been that he couldn’t take criticism, someone should have noticed something. Surely someone had been worried for him, tried to reach out, something…

“Not really, and he had so many. The police didn’t believe me, the one time I tried that, and the producer he worked with, Gail, she put a lot of effort into looking out for him. She pretty much made sure I couldn’t try anything, put her foot down and making things happen and god she was worse really. Hell, she was probably the one who actually arranged for the donations and such, just at Tom’s request. She organised most things for him, she’s a powerhouse.” His lips quivered and his voice shook, “I’ve known her since I was 16, she was the one who found Colt and got him his first job, my brother’s boss. She was around all the time. There just wasn’t anyone.”

“Your brother didn’t support you?”

That surprised her, inaccurate as her files seemed to be, they’d all suggested the twins had been fairly close. 

“Colt did, once I told him. I just… he worked with Tom, and it was made pretty clear if I stepped out of line, his career would end. He worked so hard to get there, it was his dream job, I couldn’t do that to him, at least, I didn’t want to. I’m sure he knew I wasn’t happy, and I hate that I lied to him about it, I just…”

He tailed off, slipping his shoes off and tucking his knees to his chest. She almost rolled her eyes at the gesture, everything he was admitting, all the pain and horror of it, and he still worried about shoes on the damn sofa, unbelievable. She didn’t give into the urge, it wouldn’t help and it was not suitable at all. Still, it should hardly have been his first priority right now.

“You didn’t want to jeopardise him for your own needs.”

“I should have told him that first morning I woke up married but god I was so embarrassed and then the lie had just gone on too long. Colt kept pushing, he knew me too well, he knew giving up my dream job for a man just wasn’t me, and that I couldn’t possibly be happy living like that, and I finally told him that he was right. That I wasn’t happy with Tom, that I hadn’t been for a long time and wanted to leave him, but that I didn’t want to ruin his career and life in the process. He… he said he’d rather look for other job offers than work for the guy making my life miserable, that there were other things out there and people were always looking for stunt men, he thought he’d just be fired or have to quit, I guess. I wanted to wait until filming wrapped so it would be less drama but Colt insisted I get the process started immediately, that I shouldn’t have to feel like that any longer than I already had. I didn’t realise Tom would go so far. I’d have just sucked it up if I’d known what he was going to do.”

“The fall.”

Twelve stories. That was a long fall, it was a miracle Grace’s brother had survived it. 

“Colt didn’t agree to take that risk, he didn’t know how dangerous helping me leave him would be. He knew Tom could be a diva, and egotistical, he warned me of that before Tom and I even met for the first time. But he was kind, and charismatic, and… hard to say no to. He always seemed kind of… harmless, at least until you got too close. Without Gail I think he would have been harmless, really, or at least just… run of the mill. I had no idea how far he’d go to get what he wanted. How far he’d go when something he saw as his was taken away.”

“People rarely do,” she agreed, “it’s what makes abusers like him so dangerous.”

She wondered, as he startled, if anyone had outright said that before. That his ex had been abusive, not just an asshole or a diva or any other dismissal, but an abuser. That people like him usually were charming and kind until it was too late.That it hadn’t been his fault. Knowing Dr Grace, he likely believed he had been to blame for it all. For his brother’s injuries, for his own suffering, for everything that had been done to him. She doubted anyone had stepped in to tell him that wasn’t true, especially if he hadn’t spoken to anyone about it as he had said. 

“I tried to stay with Colt after, to look after him, but… I didn’t know how to tell him it was my fault and…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” She snapped. She wasn’t letting it go without correction. 

“It feels like my fault.”

Of course it did. It did not surprise her in the slightest that he had shouldered the blame for it himself. She wondered how much of that was just who he was, and how much of it had been instilled by the man who had sought to control every aspect of his life. After all, most abusers didn’t like it when their victims had any semblance of confidence in themselves, and she was sure Ryder was the type. All his flash and flair and ego, she doubted he truly had space in his life for someone else with personality or substance, and so he’d had to dim Grace’s light until it suited him. Into the man before her who held a fire inside but so often pushed it down and dismissed himself and his own abilities and achievements. How much of that was his own humble nature, and how much of it had been instilled. She’d probably never know, given she’d never had the chance to meet him before that man. It was a shame, but now she knew about this, she couldn’t unseen the signs, the marks it had left on him. In hindsight, she wasn’t sure how she’d missed it. 

“Remaining in that situation would only have left you and your brother in danger for longer, it would not have fixed things, nor changed the kind of man he was. Ryder would always have lashed out like that eventually, to one of you.”

Most likely to Grace, most likely it would have ended with him dead. 

“Colt still thinks it was an accident, just bad luck, I never knew how to tell him otherwise. He was actually annoyed that it stopped him from helping me get away. And then Tom wouldn’t leave me alone, kept trying to get me back and coming to the hospital and Colt’s home, cornering me and reminding me it was all my fault and that we could fix this if I just came home and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I vanished. It was hard, but I changed my name back and dumped my phone and changed my number and just… left. A backpack of belongings and a scraping of savings. I got lucky with the job at the school, and my tiny cheap apartment, and the bike.”

He’d told her when they first met that it wasn’t for exercise, she’d assumed then that it had been to do with the loss of his academic position and a poor salary, not that he’d been the victim of financial abuse for years. And emotional abuse, and likely physical, even if he hadn’t admitted that yet. She hadn’t known about any of it. That was concerning, for all that she’d had his background check rushed, that should have been flagged, there should have been signs so they could take reasonable precautions. His starting fresh with nothing should have shown up if nothing else. Had his security been sufficient, had he appeared in any press materials that risked exposing him to Ryder, these were thing she’d needed to know before now. 

“You made yourself vanish.”

It would have been a tremendous undertaking, logistically and emotionally. Most people couldn’t manage it, they missed their loved ones too much, the normalcy and routine, the stability. Even if that stability was dangerous and painful, they’d choose it over the uncertainty and the isolation. It took incredible willpower to commit to, and it was even more impressive that Grace had managed to land it. A job he enjoyed, a place to live, the ability to live with joy and bring joy to others. He’d been happy in his teaching job, his small flat had been furnished, he had been living his life, it must have taken tremendous strength.

“I left a false trail, left some hidden documents for him to find, a visa for the UK and a teaching job there, and a few other things, I didn’t know what else to do. I’d moved some money to an account he didn’t know about, sold some of the gifts he’d given me for cash, hidden some documents for myself outside Tom’s home, then I just had to go. Haven’t spoken to my brother since, couldn’t risk it, but I… I wish I’d left him more than that stupid letter, wish I’d actually spoken to him. I just couldn’t face him.”

Fear and guilt were powerful motivators, and Dr Grace wore his heart on his sleeve. It was one of the things she appreciated about him, truly, but she could see how it would drive him to such a painful drastic step. Especially if he’d believed he had nobody to turn to or trust. 

“How long has it been?”

“We haven’t spoken in about two and a half years now.“

The year and a half teaching at the school, and the near year working on the project here. 

It was a tremendous shame, he and his brother had been close, and they’d been forced apart by that man. Grace had been too scared of being found to reach out to his brother, terrified of further consequences, perhaps hoping his brother’s accident would be enough to keep him out of the line of fire. She’d need to check on that, properly this time, and get some investigators looking at all of it. There would be evidence, they’d just need to dig it up. The terror was justified, of course, but she loathed that he’d ever been made to feel that way. 

Ryder would be dealt with.

“Did Ryder stay close to Colt after?”

“I don't know. I couldn’t let myself get close enough to check, but he got a new stuntman so probably not. I just don’t know. Colt was never his target, I was, and call me a coward but I just couldn’t risk being found.”

“I do not think that is cowardice. While incredibly difficult, I believe it was reasonable in your situation.”

Perhaps he did not realise how difficult what he’d done actually was, how strong he actually was.

She hoped his brother understood that too, or would once it was explained again. From what she understood of the man, from Grace’s own occasional stories and the brief summary she’d been given, he was sensible and kind. He’d pushed for his brother to get away from his abuser, and attempted to support him through it. She sincerely hoped he understood the lengths his brother had needed to go through, and aimed his anger and blame only at the man truly responsible. 

“You terrified me when you first walked into my classroom, you know. I’d been sure someone had been following me for a few weeks, I thought you were a PI he’d hired or something, hilarious that the sun dying is somehow the less scary scenario there.”

He didn’t sound amused, he sounded exhausted, but that was not the thing that had her stiffening. 

“You think he found you?”

“I’m not sure, but it felt like there was someone following me, and when Carl and I went to pack my bag, there was a bouquet on my front doorstep. I think you timed it well, really.”

He flashed her a brief smile that didn’t match with the wetness of his eyes or the tenseness of it all.

A few days later and she might have lost him. The world might have lost him. She doubted his stalker in San Francisco was wholly separate from what he’d been through in LA, it would have been too much of a coincidence. That was far too close for comfort, and once again she could not comprehend how it had been missed in his background check. Yes she’d given him full clearance without a full and deep background check, they hadn’t had time, but this should have been flagged and she was going to make sure the people who had failed in this would never work on anything important again.

“None of this is in your file.”

He stiffened, face twisting, and she winced as she realised how it probably sounded to him. Another dismissal, another person not believing what he’d been through. 

“What I mean to say it’s a grievous oversight,” she corrected, “I know you well enough to know this is the truth, and I do not like that there was a threat to you I was not made aware of.”

“Like I said, he has an army of people dedicated to making him look good.”

A facade she would not let stand.

“You are exempt from public engagements for now.”

His whole body deflated, eyes shining with tears he refused to shed. It turned her stomach, he should not be so relieved to be believed, he should not be so relieved to be excused from a part of his job, just because it would keep him safe. And she would keep him safe. As her top scientist, as her second in command, and as her friend, she would keep him safe.

“Thank yo… for now?”

“Once Ryder has been taken care of, I will still expect you to take on some of those roles. Perhaps not all, but your role here is important and you deserve the credit for what you have done.”

“Once he’s taken care of?”

“You often mock the level of power the worlds government have given me, I intend to use it. By the end of the week the divorce will be finalised, the restraining order will have been confirmed, and any other arrangements that need to be made will be. I will also be increasing your security, they will not touch you.”

At this, tears did start rolling down his cheeks as his shoulders shook. It turned to sobs quickly, and in moments he was falling apart, whole body shaking with the force of it. For one brief moment, she did not know whether it was best to stay at her desk or to join him on the sofa, if he would accept physical comfort from her or prefer she keep the barrier between them. She had seen a range of emotions from him since they’d started working together, anger, joy, exhaustion, passion, but nothing like this. 

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out between sobs, frantically trying to scrub away tears with the palm of his hand and claw some of his composure into place, “I don’t…”

“It is ok, Grace. You have been through something harrowing with no relief or safety, until now. The door is locked, there are guards, and I am here. You are safe, take as long as you need. You are allowed to be upset by this.”

The last of his composure shattered. He crumpled, sobs wracking his whole body as what she imagined must have been a decade of uncertainty and fear and helplessness and anger and more all came crashing out at once. 

She pulled a folded blanket from the bottom draw of her desk. It was for her own late nights of work usually, as was the sofa, for when she wanted to catch some rest without needing to leave her office, but now she would turn it over to Grace. How long had it been since he last truly felt safe? Always looking over his shoulder after leaving Ryder, years of being trapped with him beforehand, it added up to almost a decade. A decade of uncertainty, a decade of constant anxiety, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. If she could provide him with a moment of security, a place and time to feel safe, that was more valuable now than anything else. In fact, she’d rather he was here with her than alone in his own room on the ship. It would be just as secure, but she did not want him to process this all alone. He did not need to process this all alone. He was safe here, he had friends here, Ryder would never touch him again.

He barely even reacted as she draped it around his shoulders, though his fists did grasp the material tightly after his hands found it. She lingered for only a moment, gently retrieving his glasses before they fell and placing them, folded, on her desk as she returned to it. She pulled open her laptop, quickly removing Grace’s obligations for the rest of the day. It was getting late, but he worked too much, and his schedule took him into the evening almost every day. Fortunately, it looked like none of it was so important it could not wait for another day or be covered by another. He would not be fit to work after this anyway, intense emotions were exhausting and disorienting, and throwing himself back into a lab was more likely to end in an explosion than she was comfortable with. She then rearranged a few of her own meetings, again fortunately nothing too important. She did not want to leave her friend alone when he was like this, nor invite anyone else into her office while he was in this state. She had promised him safety, she would make good on that.

For a while, she focused on her laptop, on finding out everything she could about Ryder, putting together a timeline of his prolonged attack on her lead scientist. It was not as easy as she would have liked, Ryder’s PR team were good at their jobs, but she knew what to look for, and that gave her an advantage. It would be enough for investigators, better investigators than before, to get started and dig up everything they needed. She also messaged Carl, who she’d put in charge of Grace’s security, to let him know they would be increasing his security and making some changes, and send several messages through to their legal team. It would all be kept confidential, the last thing they needed was for this to leak. The number on her inbox grew steadily while it worked, but she could come to them later, or tomorrow. She wanted this done as soon as possible, and her motivation was not only that the victim of this crime was sobbing on her sofa in front of her.

Invested as she was in her work, she did notice his sobs quieting down to gasps, and then just ragged breaths. She wondered for a moment if he was going to fall asleep right there and then, the exhaustion of it all crashing down over him. She couldn’t blame him or have any problem with it. In any other situation, it would be good to actually see him sleep for once, he always seemed to be working at all hours, about as many as she did. For her own reassurance, she rather selfishly wanted him in view while she did what she needed to do to take care of his security and future. To know he was here and safe and protected. 

She had few friends, especially in this line of work, she did not want to lose the closest one she had.

To her surprise, he did not fall asleep. Despite his drooping eyelids and clear, utter exhaustion, he shook himself back into focus, into awareness, and she saw the second he fully processed where he was once again.

“I…”

She passed a glass of water towards him, and nudged over his glasses.

“God, I’m sorry, that was…”

Her gut tugged again at how hoarse and raw his voice sounded. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, and yet it caught her off guard. 

“There is no need for apologies.”

He looked utterly taken aback, and she reminded herself that Grace often found a way to apologise for breathing. When he wasn’t arguing his case for something he strongly believed in, that was.

“Thank you… Stratt… for listening, for letting me…”

“You also do not need to thank me.”

He scrubbed his face with his hands, though it did little to conceal that he had been crying.

“I should go.”

He started folding the blanket in his hands as he wobbled to his feet.

“You can stay.”

“What?”

There was something incredibly disarming and disturbing about his desire not to impose, so great that he was trying to excuse himself even as rogue tears escaped and rolled down his cheeks, no matter how much he tried to pull himself back together.

“You are physically and emotionally exhausted, as is expected after the conversation we have just had, you should rest.”

“I can… rest in my bunk?”

“You can, if you wish, but if you wish to remain here, in the privacy of this office, you can.”

People would talk, if he walked back to his bunk with puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks, after spending hours in her office. They’d talk anyway, he’d spent hours in her office unscheduled and she’d cancelled their afternoon and evening meetings with other departments, but it felt irresponsible to let him walk across the ship dazed and drained and barely able to stand for how much this had taken out of him. A decade of stress and fear being lifted off your shoulders could take it’s own toll, no matter how positive the outcome was.

Again, she did not want him going through it alone.

He tucked the blanket back around his shoulders and hunched into himself, sinking back onto the sofa once again.

“Are you sure it’s ok?”

“As I said earlier, you are safe in here, and can take all the time you need.”

“Just a quick nap.” A yawn and his own shaky voice betrayed him, but she didn’t voice that thought as he lay down on the sofa properly, twisting the blanket so it covered him better. 

He was out like a light in seconds.

It was fine, she had a mountain of emails and reports to get through, and she needed to finish making sure Ryder was taken care of. 

It wasn’t an abuse of her power, it wasn’t a personal grudge, he was a direct threat to her lead scientist and therefor the project as a whole, and she would show him what real power looked like. If she also found Grace’s brother’s number and left it for her second to call once he was feeling up to it, well, that was for his wellbeing too. She wondered if a dog would manage being on a ship, it had been Grace’s after all.

She turned back to her laptop.

This had gone on long enough.