Chapter Text
IMPORTANT NOTES:
Third Person / Narrator – Regular text
Nick’s view – Bold text
Judy’s view – Italic text
. . . . .
I can’t believe it’s been almost a MONTH since we put the Lynxleys behind bars!
Over that time, Nick and I managed to track down and capture every last one of the escaped prisoners. Also, the reptile population, once rejected and isolated, has settled well into our mammal city. So, everything is essentially back to normal!
Well, almost normal. BETTER than normal, to be precise!
Because the other ZPD teams RESPECT Nick and me now – even Captain Hoggbottom! The senior officers stopped viewing us as the ‘dumb bunny’ and the ‘shifty fox’, the mismatched partners who are a joke to the department. After trying so hard to break through those awful stereotypes, Nick and I have FINALLY proven ourselves to be valuable members!
And you know what else? Us being the smallest animals in the ZPD is no longer a negative thing! In fact, our sizes have proven to be useful in many situations!
Firstly, Nick and I can effortlessly fit into cramped spaces the other officers can’t, giving us a great advantage in accessibility and stealth.
Secondly, because we are much lighter than our fellow officers, they can easily get us to distant or otherwise unreachable locations! For example, the very first incident: a panther, who robbed at least five businesses, was escaping on the rooftops and there was no path to reach him. So I told Pennington, the elephant officer, to literally toss me up there. After giving me an odd look for a second, she did so – and I took that panther down with one swift rabbit-kick!
It was oddly thrilling to be hurled like a baseball at a criminal! Everyone was amused by the unusual move, but also impressed by its unique effectiveness! From that point on, Nick and I ended up being thrown around quite often to aid with tricky situations!
Oh, and that’s not all! Last week, Chief Bogo sent me with Bloats and Higgins, while Nick joined Hoggbottom and Truffler. The hippos struggled to keep up with our petite squirrel suspect as he fled through a dense section of Zootopia – but since I’m also a petite animal, I managed to keep up AND catch him!
I was mildly worried about Nick that day, considering he was working alongside the strict boars. See, my partner and Captain Hoggbottom... well, let’s just say they’ve never gotten along. Nick can be very caring and clever and helpful when he wants to be, but he also tends to mouth off and fool around at less-than-appropriate times. Therefore, the serious senior captain has never been fond of his ‘slacker’ attitude.
So I was quite relieved when Nick returned in one piece, AND without Hoggbottom glaring daggers at him. Later, I even heard her and Truffler comment to Chief Bogo how Nick ‘did well’ – he followed their orders without any backtalk, made only a couple minor quips, and his alertness combined with his ability to see in the dark prevented Truffler from injuring himself on an unstable section of debris that they missed with their flashlights.
The lesson here: every type of animal has strengths and weaknesses. Where one struggles with a certain task, another is an expert at that same task. And in the end, we are all stronger together, as a team.
Speaking of that, I always knew that despite being opposites in many aspects, Nick and I were the Dream Team. But now, everyone else sees it too! We showed the world that a bunny and a fox really can be great partners! It just took a little time, along with some unpleasant but necessary growing pains.
I believed we were a great team right from the get-go, but in reality, we weren’t. I was convinced if I told myself ‘we’re 100% perfect’ enough times, it would be the truth. But what Nick and I needed wasn’t to pretend we were flawless and ignore our obvious issues; we needed to accept there was room for improvement, be open and properly communicate, and figure out how to combine our differences rather than have them clash and work against each other.
Now, Nick and I are truly on the same page, rather than on different chapters, or in a whole different book! He expresses his opinions, I listen to what he has to say, we discuss things, and meet in the middle. In simpler words, we are equal teammates now, not just me running around and Nick being dragged along.
I also toned down that try-too-hard attitude of mine. I see now how impulsive and troublesome it was, and maybe even arrogant at times. I still strive to do my very best, but I’m willing to take a step back and let others take the lead. No matter how good of a cop I am or how determined I am to do my duty, I am technically still a rookie. So I need to accept that status and behave as a rookie, not try to overstep all the more experienced officers.
Dr. Fuzzby has certainly helped calm my fears of being a failure and being seen as weak. I’m also learning how to express my less-than-optimistic emotions rather than bury them. Even the biggest, strongest, toughest animals feel fear, discomfort, nervousness. And that’s okay; I don’t need to feel bad about having those natural feelings. I need to focus on just being a good cop, not hyperfocus on being ‘the greatest cop ever’.
Nick has had a few separate sessions with Dr. Fuzzby too. I hope she’s helping him overcome his insecurities and past trauma. I have no idea exactly what they talk about, and I’m not going to ask, because it’s none of my business. If Nick wants me to know, he can feel free to tell me; otherwise, I will respect his privacy.
I’ve been keeping my parents updated on everything going on both good and bad, and it’s so great to have their unwavering support. My whole family is very proud of my accomplishments... well, except my grandparents. Mom’s parents don’t fully agree with how I’ve chosen to live my life, but they don’t say much about it and typically shrug it off. However, Dad’s father has openly expressed how ‘insane’ I am for moving to the Big City. ‘Bunnies belong in Bunnyburrow so they can contribute to the family farms and start a big family of their own’, he says.
But moving to this great city was the best decision I ever made. I do miss quaint little Bunnyburrow at times, and my several thousand family members, but Zootopia is where I was meant to be. I was able to fulfill my dream of making the world a better place: solving the Night Howler case to rescue innocent predators from Bellwether’s savage plot, ultimately protecting both predator and prey – followed by the Weather Wall inventor cover-up to expose the corrupt Lynxley family, preserve Marsh Market, and clear the De’Snake name.
Because of that recent case, I now have an amazing new friend: Gary! Not only did he allow us to solve the Lynxley Journal mystery, but he also saved my life, and Nick’s life. Just like us, Gary was a victim of prejudice; everybody looked at him and saw only a dangerous, unpredictable, evil snake. I think that’s why I bonded with him so quickly; from the moment I met him, I saw in his warm yellow eyes that he had a good heart. Indeed, Gary is sweet, funny, cheerful, loyal, and he’s such an amazing friend!
Of course, my closest friend is still Nick. No one could ever take his place in my heart.
And if I had stayed in Bunnyburrow, I never would’ve met Nick. Gosh, I can’t imagine not having that kind-hearted fox in my life. I never realized how much I took him for granted or how much he truly means to me... until I almost lost him.
I still think about that. When Nick risked his own life to get the antivenom that would save me. And the reason I needed to be saved was because I refused to listen to him, and then I left him behind! I just abandoned my partner and best friend, let him take the fall for my headstrong actions. And yet he still came for me...
I have had quite a few nightmares about that day:
Watching helplessly as Pawbert fights Nick only inches away from me - or the security camera monitor, zoomed in with high quality, shows the ice ledge shattering and Nick plummeting to the ground. Only then does the paralysis magically wear off, so I rush down... and find him lying in the snow below or crushed under the heavy ice shards, bleeding and unresponsive...
Pawbert hits Nick with the venom instead of me, and I desperately chase after the lynx – but I cannot catch him to retrieve the life-saving pen, while a voice repeats over and over, ‘you failed him, you can’t help him, this is your fault, you can’t do anything right’...
Nick makes it safely off the ice ledge, and I happily run toward him – but he ends our friendship/partnership right there, no longer wanting anything to do with me. I blink, and he’s gone – I search all over, but I never see him again, like he never existed...
I SOBBED when I explained those scenes to Dr. Fuzzby! How could I have done that to the person who means more to me than anyone?! Especially when all he wanted to do was make sure I was safe! Yet I just kept leaping into danger, not even considering how it might affect him...
I’ve never seen Nick so vulnerable and solemn as when he admitted how much he cares about me. To hear Nicholas Wilde say no one else matters more to him and I’m the best thing that ever happened to him... it still gives me butterflies in my stomach. I knew he cared about me, but I didn’t think it was THAT much...
Clearly, Nick had a lot of things to say to me that he’d been holding in for a long time... Then again, so did I.
And when he gave me the carrot recorder pen, I almost fell over. Nick handed me the loosely wrapped item, and I assumed it was something silly, a classic Nick Joke. Instead, it was one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received! He could’ve bought me a new pen, or something else entirely, anything else – but no, he took the time and effort to collect and repair every little piece of our special pen!
And then catching his cute ‘love ya, partner’ on the recording along with his startled reaction to it was the icing on the carrot cake!
Anyway, our partnership and friendship is stronger than ever! So, yeah – I’m VERY happy with this new normal!
Well, here we are – finished yet another day on the job at the Zootopia Police Department. Mornings have never been my thing, but after more than a month of early risings, I guess I’m starting to get used to it. The hectic workdays and tedious paperwork is getting easier, too.
However, the main reason I’m able to drag myself out of bed is the knowledge that I’ll get to see my favourite partner.
With Officer Hopps around, I can only guess what each day will bring. Not implying that as a bad thing, though. My days have never been better since a certain strong-willed bunny came into my life. Before that, I was just... surviving. Never trying to be anything... because I was convinced I couldn’t. After all, I’m just a fox; no one trusts me, everyone wants to be rid of me. So why hope for the impossible?
But when Judy looks at me, she doesn’t see me as a shifty fox; she sees me as her friend. Her best friend, even. She gave me a chance when no other animal would.
Of course, that’s not to say we became instant BFFs. In fact, when we first met, we could hardly stand each other. Judy needed my help to solve a missing animal case, and I needed her to erase the proof of my... illegal activities. We worked together out of needing to, not wanting to.
At the time, I saw Judy only as the little carrot farmer with unrealistic dreams who was wasting my time. Hustling others was my norm; never had I dealt with others hustling me. I certainly did not expect such slyness and cleverness coming from a bunny. Although I was initially annoyed by her stubborn go-getter antics, I must admit, they did start to grow on me.
I never imagined in a million years that I, a fox, would become a cop of all things. Then again, I never thought a rabbit could be a cop either. Yet here Judy is, proving me wrong in both aspects. I’ve never been so happy to not be right. I’ll never be able to thank her for all she’s done for me...
But I should at least try to express my gratitude. Even though I’m still figuring out this whole ‘heartfelt feeling’ stuff.
I have been consistently seeing Dr. Fuzzby. The sessions tend to be rather cringy, but at least these have been one-on-one. I have enough trouble discussing personal things, so I am not about to reveal my deepest, darkest secrets if a bunch of other officers are listening in. But, as much as I hate to admit it... talking to Dr. Fuzzby has helped, much more than I thought it would. I’m still not ready to tap into my childhood issues, but she said I can ‘build up to that’. For now, we’re sticking with how I keep my emotions bottled up, use humour to avoid serious situations, and have a strong fear of losing Judy.
I also ended up discussing... the nightmares. I didn’t particularly ‘want’ to, but I couldn’t seem to stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth. Not even Judy was aware that I’d jolted awake in the night multiple times because I relived that day at the Tundratown Weather Wall.
Except in those dreams, the horrific event was much worse:
I throw the antivenom down toward Gary, but before he can get ahold of it, the pen – the only way to save Judy – rolls off the icy ledge and disappears into the snowy abyss...
The ice ledge breaks when I’m only half an inch away from reaching the pen, and as I fall seemingly in slow motion, I catch a glimpse of Judy, weakly reaching out toward me...
Judy rescues me from falling off the balcony – she yanks me to safety, but then the ice on the balcony shifts, and she falls instead...
And my all-time favourite nightmare: I snag the antivenom pen from Pawbert, I make it off the ice before it crumbles, I rush down to Judy as fast as my legs can carry me... but... it’s already too late. All I could do was hold her, unmoving, in my arms – sobbing as I regretted what I’d left unsaid...
I hid the nightmares from Judy because I didn’t want her to feel even more guilt than she already did. But it was that vivid nightmare that prompted me to tell Judy about them. Well, I really didn’t give myself much of a choice:
I could not fall back asleep that night. My gut was in a painful knot as my mind kept replaying that horrifically realistic scene – seeing and feeling her lifeless body, over and over... until the irrational paranoia started to overtake me: what if Judy really is gone? What will I do without her?
The following morning, as I waited for her outside the police station, the paranoia only strengthened, because for the first time in history, Judy was running late. When I finally did see her, I didn’t even give her a chance to greet me – I just bolted over and wrapped her up in a tight hug.
She was clearly shocked by that gesture, coming from her emotionally guarded partner. She hugged me back and softly asked what was wrong; it took at least a minute for me to fully accept that she was here, alive and unharmed, and I was able to let go of her.
I then answered her in an uncharacteristically shaky and weak voice; I didn’t cry, but it was awfully close.
I half expected Judy to make a light tease or tell me not to worry about it, so I was surprised to see she was almost in tears too. Then she admitted that she has experienced similar dreams. I hate that she’s been struggling with the same horrors, but it was also a relief to know she knew how I felt. That I wasn’t alone. That I wasn’t being weird or stupid. Judy put her arms around me again, and we shared another hug before heading inside.
On that ice ledge, when I thought I lost her for real, I... I felt like I had been shot in the chest. Correction: a bullet would’ve hurt less. I could barely comprehend Pawbert’s words. Then, when Gary shouted out that there was still a chance she could be saved, I’ve never been so determined or terrified in my whole life. I had no idea if I’d be able to get the pen to Gary, or if the weakened ice would hold my weight, or if the pen would work at all.
But I’d rather give my life trying to save Judy than live without her.
Judy’s been visiting Dr. Fuzzby as well. She seems more at ease, more willing to listen, and with a more reasonable amount of optimism. I wish I could offer her more help, but my specialty is wisecracks, puns, sly retorts, mockery, everything other than comfort or encouragement.
I can still hear Judy blurting out all her hidden discomfort and worries about being viewed as weak. And it kills me to realize I was fueling that discomfort. Not only was I not supporting her in the way she needed, but I was also making her insecurities worse: teasing her about the ‘dumb bunny’ thing, acting nonchalant all the time, never letting her know that she is my whole world...
I came frightening close to never having a chance to tell her that.
But I finally was able to break down the stubborn walls that imprisoned my feelings. Actually, it wasn’t me who broke them – it was my new friend, Nibbles Maplestick. Yes, I consider that quirky beaver my friend. I owe her for assisting me in Marsh Market, warning me about the Red Line tube, breaking me out of jail, and ultimately allowing me to rescue Judy. After being on my own for so long, it’s nicely strange to have more than one true friend.
But Carrots will always be my Number One.
Hence why I made it my mission to repair her carrot pen. She was so upset when it fell off the cliff and shattered. I was upset about it too, but Judy... I knew it hurt her more than she led on, and I felt so terrible for hurting her. It took a while to glue all the tiny fragments back together, and it was tricky to rewire the recorder so it functioned properly again, but... she’s worth it.
However, I did not anticipate she would capture my added cheesy comment when I gifted it back to her. I fully intended to say those words to her, but also intended to playfully deny what I said if she ever brought it up again. Boy, did that plan backfire. No doubt Carrots will never let me live that down.
In addition to my improved friendship with Judy and my new friendship with Nibbles, now that I’ve altered my attitude towards – well, everything – my fellow officers’ attitudes toward me have also altered. I’m still not ZPD’s favourite officer (which is completely fair) but they do respect me now. I think even stern Hoggbottom can tolerate me.
After all: real respect is earned.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The bunny and fox cop duo, finished today’s shift, exit the ZPD station, step down the stairs, and pause to exchange their usual goodbye before parting ways. However, this time, Judy faces Nick with a sly grin, pointedly holding one hand behind her back.
Oh, God, what is she plotting now? Knowing Officer Hopps, it could be anything.
“Well – you and I have completed several cases since the Lynxleys, so I think it’s past time I give THIS back to you –” Nick’s green eyes light up as I reveal our carrot pen, and hold it out toward him once again.
I accept her little gift with a smirk; I take it this back-and-forth is going to be our new thing now. “I don’t suppose there’s a new message on here for me...?” I’ll bet my tail there is.
I shrug my shoulders, trying to hide my smirk. “Eh, there might be.” Tch, he knows me too well!
Ha – called it. You sly bunny. I click the button, revealing Judy’s soft voice:
‘Love you too, partner.’
Even though I was half-expecting that, since it was the most obvious response, directly hearing Judy say those words warms my heart. “Thanks, Carrots.” Ugh, why did my voice have to shake?
Aww, his voice shook! “You’re welcome,” I murmur sincerely.
Then, I turn playful again, “So, I guess I’m gonna have to wait a whole decade for you to say it back, huh?” I’m half teasing... and half hoping he’ll retract that previous statement.
I shrug, yet I find myself flattening my ears and averting my gaze. “Heh, well...”
Oh my gosh, is Nick Wilde is being SHY?! Even his attempt to smirk is weaker than usual!
“I guess I could say it a bit more often.”
Ooh, my hope is growing! “Hm – maybeee... once a year?”
Her eager toothy grin makes me chuckle. “Eh, every two years – maybe.”
That is the softest sarcasm I have ever heard from him! I give his arm a familiar punch as we share a light laugh. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, Slick!”
“Yep, see ya tomorrow, Fluff. Same time, same place.”
“You know it! Bye!”
Judy then turns and literally skips toward the subway station like a little kid.
Cripes, where did all this energy come from? I feel so happy I could scream!
Meanwhile, Nick strolls in the direction of his apartment, his smile lingering.
What is with Carrots always punching me? At least this one wasn’t as violent as usual...
Yet Nick keeps his hand over that spot on his arm.