Chapter Text
It all started like it always did: a request from Ash.
“I want you to experiment on me.”
Tubbo blinked. He looked up from his broken wiring to see his supreme leader leaning over him.
“What?”
“I want you to experiment on me,” Ash repeated. “Haiper is dying from radiation sickness, which is how Multi is blackmailing him to stay under his control. For some reason, though, I’m immune.”
“Radiation sickness isn’t like regular diseases,” Tubbo said. He tried to keep a condescending tone out of his voice. “It goes away on its own through radioactive decay. There’s no biological immunity because the gamma rays damage your DNA directly.”
“And yet, somehow, I’m the exception.” Ash spread his arms, gesturing at his body. “If we can find out why, we can create a cure, and then Multi will be done.”
It was a solid plan on the surface. Destroy the radiation, destroy Multi’s leverage. There was just one problem.
“I’m not a doctor,” Tubbo said slowly.
Ash crouched down so they were properly face-to-face. “You’re the smartest guy I know,” he said earnestly. “If anyone could do it, it’d be you.”
He placed a hand on Tubbo’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do this,” Ash continued. “If you don’t want to do it, that’s totally fine. But I believe in you.”
Ash swallowed. He squeezed Tubbo’s shoulder.
“Please, Tubbo. Help me save him.”
There was a long pause.
“Okay,” Tubbo finally said. “I’m in.”
The smile he received was almost enough to wipe away his misgivings.
When Ash told him that he had built something, Tubbo’s first instinct was to run away.
“Oh no,” Tubbo said with the air of a prisoner on death row. “What have you done this time?”
“I’m not that bad!” he protested.
“Ash, looking at your builds makes me wish I didn’t have eyes,” he said.
Ash folded his arms. “You’re just hating. Come on, see for yourself.”
Tubbo followed Ash as he stomped away, grumbling under his breath. He led them down the tunnel of tracks running beneath the pantheon. Then, at a seemingly random spot, Ash stopped. He pushed the wall, and the stone folded easily beneath his grip, revealing a door.
Ash placed his hand on the biometric scanner. “It’s programmed to allow only members of the regime to enter,” he explained.
The door clicked open with a small beep. Together, they descended into the laboratory.
Despite Tubbo’s teasing from earlier, it wasn’t that bad – not from an improvement in Ash’s skill, but just because the design was so simplistic that there was no room to screw it up.
Calling it a ‘lab’ was a bit of an exaggeration. It was really just a quartz box buried underground. The walls and floor were made of the same smooth marble. There were no patterns or windows to break up the monotony, just white.
The only furniture in the room was an elevated platform of solid marble in the center of the room. There was a bright lamp overhead, and at its side was a metal cart, presumably for storing equipment– and perhaps something more.
All together, the fluorescent lights and the white, clinical walls created an uniquely unpleasant atmosphere.
Tubbo explored what little there was to see in the room. In the far corner, he noticed a metal cot that was weirdly out of place. Before he could comment on it, Ash said, “Thanks for helping me with this, Tubbo. I really appreciate it.”
Tubbo snorted. “What would you have done if I hadn’t agreed?”
“Well, my other idea was to shock Haiper’s brain until the chip fried…”
That made Tubbo full-on laugh, and Ash grinned.
“So, what do you think?” he prompted, watching him hopefully.
“It looks like a laboratory for serial killers,” Tubbo said bluntly. At Ash’s sulking, he acquiesced, “But it does look like a laboratory, so progress.”
Ash brightened.
Shaking his head in exasperation, Tubbo approached the table at the center of the room. It was completely featureless except for some strips of leather dangling from the sides.
Huh, weird. He picked one up, examining it closer. There were metal buckles running along the length.
Something cold slivered down his back. Tubbo’s head whipped up to look at the other man. “Ash,” he said. “What are these?”
“Restraints.”
Tubbo expected the answer, but that didn’t make hearing it any less terrible. He swallowed, letting the thick leather fall from his fingers. “Why?”
For a second, Ash seemed to struggle to answer. “I have to be kept still during the experiment. It’s too dangerous otherwise.”
“I know that,” Tubbo said. “But then we can use sedatives. Potions. Not this.” He jabbed a finger at the restraints.
Ash shook his head. “I have a resistance to most poisons and sedatives. It’s too risky.”
Tubbo huffed, “Then, I can figure something out.” He pulled out a knife, beginning to cut the straps away.
“Don’t.”
Tubbo froze as a hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him away roughly. He looked up to face agitated crackling static.
For a second, he couldn’t breathe. Then, as if realizing what he had done, Ash let go, quickly backing away.
“Sorry.” Ash took a deep breath, glitches settling down. “I would– prefer if the restraints stayed.”
“Why?” Tubbo asked warily. His heart rate was elevated from the surprise jumpscare.
He appeared to struggle a bit to find the words. “I don’t know how my body will react when we begin. I’d be more comfortable if I knew I wouldn’t do anything I might regret.”
That… kind of made sense. Tubbo wasn’t a fighter himself, but he knew how one’s survival instincts could react poorly to medical procedures. Ash had the most severe case of paranoia he’d ever seen. The man pulled out his shield at the sound of glass breaking.
“Would this make you feel safer?” Tubbo asked.
Ash nodded immediately.
“Alright,” Tubbo relented. He wasn’t totally sure, but for Ash’s sake, he’d swallow his discomfort.
Fortunately, Tubbo didn’t need to use the restraints on the first day. He just gathered some basic information and had Ash do a few exercises on monitoring equipment to measure his vitals.
The tests went smoothly with only one exception. When Tubbo attempted to measure his heartbeat, he found his device eerily silent.
“That can’t be right.” Tubbo frowned. He dragged the device across Ash’s chest as if the organ had somehow wandered off. “I can’t hear your heart.”
Ash stirred, gaze drifting down to watch what Tubbo was doing. This whole time he had been abnormally quiet, only opening his mouth to respond to Tubbo’s questions. “Oh,” he said. “I don’t have one.”
“What.”
“Yeah,” he said, like he was discussing the weather. He paused, then clarified himself. “Well, to be specific, I have one, but Ewron has it.”
Ew. Tubbo did not need to know that. “Dude, stop joking around.”
“I’m not,” Ash protested. “Ewron has my heart. He keeps it on this stone pedestal underneath the church.” He thought for a bit. “Actually, it’s probably in his ender chest now.”
Tubbo stared at him. He was being serious. “Ewron has your heart,” he repeated. “The heart that’s supposed to be in your fucking body?”
“Yes, man, how many times do I have to say this–”
“Why did you not mention this sooner?” Tubbo demanded. “That seems like a pretty big cause for concern.”
Ash waved dismissively. “It’s fine. I’ve already gone this long without one. I’m not going to suddenly drop dead after months of no issues.”
This idiot… Tubbo dragged a hand down his face. He pressed his fingers against his eyelids to prevent himself from saying something he would regret.
Finally, he opened his eyes. “You are going to bring me this heart tomorrow,” he said, dangerously slow. “And I am going to figure this shit out.”
Ash hesitated. “I don’t think Ewron will like that–”
“I don’t care. We should have had this done yesterday. If Ewron has any objections, I will talk to him, personally.” He glared at the other man, daring him to object.
The other man relented, “Alright, I’ll talk with him.”
With that matter settled, Tubbo finished the rest of his tests. Surprisingly, his physical results were remarkably ordinary. Balance, reaction-time, endurance – all performed in the expected range of a typical, albeit quite strong, player. It was when they looked at the sensors that Ash’s true nature revealed itself.
Obviously, Ash had no heart, but somehow his blood still seemed to be flowing. His body temperature and blood pressure were low enough that a regular person would most certainly be dead. Similarly with oxygen consumption and muscle activity.
Dead man walking. That was how Tubbo would describe Ash, in more ways than one.
Tubbo pulled off his latex gloves. “Alright, that’s all for today.”
“That’s all?” Ash looked around the room. “We hardly did anything.”
“We’re just gathering baseline information right now,” he explained. “I also have to move in the rest of my equipment before we can continue.
“I see.” Ash almost looked disappointed. “Well, just let me know whatever you need and I’ll get it for you.”
Tubbo immediately began listing things off on his fingers. “Mass spectrometer, cell culture incubators, an electron microscope, whole-genome sequencer, flow cryometer–” He paused consideringly. “Some geiger counters and a gamma spectrometer would also be good.”
Ash seemed to sweat. “R–ight. Uh– could you repeat all of that again?”
Tubbo took pity on the man. “I can get most of that myself. You can help me with collecting raw materials. Oh, and we also need a lead-lined containment room for experimenting with radiation. I don’t want to find a cure for cancer on top of figuring out whatever’s going on with you.”
Ash smiled wryly. “Somehow, I doubt it’d slow you down that much.”
There it was again. That easy, unbreakable confidence. It made something uncomfortable churn in Tubbo’s gut. What was it that Ash saw in Tubbo that earned this level of faith?
Could he ever live up to it?
“Maybe,” he deflected, then he quickly changed the subject.
Tubbo gave Ash a list of supplies. He received a response the very next morning.
That was quick, Tubbo thought. Did he even sleep?
The answer turned out to be no.
People called Ash hard to read, but Tubbo thought they just weren’t trying hard enough. Ash was an open book when you knew where to look. His glitches may hide his expressions, but they were also the biggest giveaway into how Ash felt. They glowed when he was happy, fluttered around when he was excited, and crackled loudly when he was angry or distressed.
That was why the instant Tubbo saw his supreme leader, he knew that he was exhausted. The glitches on his face were dim, floating sluggishly in the air. He leaned against the wall, shoulders slouched and head tilted down.
As soon as Ash spotted Tubbo, he straightened up. “Tubbo!” he said. “I’m guessing you saw my message?”
“Yeah.” He’d already used some of it to craft his equipment, the most obvious of which being his new outfit.
“You look like a doctor already!” Ash said. He looked Tubbo up and down. His mouth twitched strangely as his eyes drifted over Tubbo’s white labcoat.
“Did you even sleep?” Tubbo asked bluntly.
Ash laughed. He made a motion that was probably supposed to be him brushing his knuckles against his eyes, but just looked like a blurry mess from Tubbo’s perspective. “I was too excited to sleep! We’re finally going to cure Haiper,” he deflected. “Besides, aren’t you being a bit hypocritical right now?”
Tubbo blinked, surprised. “What makes you say that?”
The other man pointed at Tubbo’s face. “Your eyebags are so large you could lie in them,” he said with a teasing grin.
Tubbo spent some much time observing others that he sometimes forgot he could be observed in return.
“At least I changed into new clothes,” Tubbo deflected. “You’re still wearing the same uniform.”
“I sleep in my uniform.”
Wow. That was depressing.
With that, the two of them fell silent. Tubbo reviewed his notes in his head. He’d spent the last 24 hours reading every medical book and paper he could get his hands on. His perfectionism told him to ask for one more day, but he squashed the urge. Haiper’s clock was ticking.
Together, they descended into the lab. Many of the machines were already set up, making the space less barren, but no less clinical.
Tubbo motioned for Ash to take a seat on the table. “Since your biology is so different from regular humans, I’ll need samples,” he explained. “Blood and skin. Bone marrow and cerebrospinal fluid if you want to get really serious.”
As he talked, Ash changed into a simple set of hospital scrubs. It was the first time in months that Tubbo had seen him without his uniform. He got a glimpse of scarred brown skin before his black-purple glitches expanded to hide it from view.
He looked smaller without the armor. Vulnerable.
Tubbo banished the thought as quickly as it came. He put on his gloves with a rubbery snap. “For now, we’ll stick with blood and skin. The other two are too invasive.”
“What do you mean?” asked Ash.
“They require me to insert a needle into specific spots to extract the samples,” he clarified. “There’s not much room for error, and with my limited anatomical knowledge, things could go horribly wrong.”
Ash leaned back on his arms unbothered. “Even if you accidentally paralyze me or something, it’s not like it matters. I’ll just respawn, good as new.”
Tubbo looked at him sharply. “Sure,” he said slowly. “But it’d be extremely painful. Also, a faulty spinal tap would give you nerve damage, not paralysis.”
Ash frowned. “If you’re worried about making a mistake, we could just wait until the next time I die. I’ll stay in the respawn screen so you have time to get the body, and you can extract your samples from there. No precision required.”
Well, that came out of fucking nowhere. Tubbo stared at him in disbelief. “Are you suggesting that I cut up your dead body with a fucking hacksaw? I’m not a butcher.”
“You’re not a doctor, either,” Ash pointed out.
“No, I’m an engineer, but more importantly, I’m a fucking human being. Nobody with a conscience would be able to crack open the bones of their friend’s corpse.”
The words came out in a rush. By the end of it, Tubbo had to stop and drag in a sharp breath through his nose.
Ash stared at him, head tilted slightly to the side. He realized that this is the closest he’d gotten to shouting at Ash.
Tubbo averted his eyes. “It wouldn’t even work,” he muttered. “The cells would degrade too quickly for us to get anything useful.”
“Okay,” Ash said after a pause. “Sorry.”
They fell into awkward silence. Tubbo busied himself with arranging his equipment, grateful for something to do with his hands.
He organized his tools by type. Then size. By the time he caught himself comparing two scalpels to decide which one looked straighter, he’d run out of excuses.
Tubbo took a deep breath. “Okay. I’m ready.”
He finally lifted his gaze. Ash was watching him. Or at least, Tubbo thought he was. Eye contact was complicated with him.
“Lay down on the table.” He tried to project confidence, but his overcompensation made his voice sound cold instead.
Ash listened to him regardless. He lowered himself until his back was flush.
Tubbo suppressed a grimace. What was Ash thinking, just using a cold slab of marble and calling it a day? He didn’t even have a goddamn pillow.
“Alright,” he began. “I’m going to draw some of your blood now. Sound good?”
The only response was a short nod. His head remained perfectly straight, looking directly into the blinding lamp above.
“Er– do you want some sunglasses?”
Ash shook his head.
“Okay.” Tubbo cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’m going to restrain you now.”
He went down the rows of leather restraints, slowly locking Ash in place. The other man’s body was limp. He allowed Tubbo to easily move around his limbs, but didn’t provide any help beyond that.
With the lack of heartbeat and cool body temperature, he was disturbingly similar to a corpse. The only thing that betrayed the fact that he was still alive was the shallow rise and fall of his chest and the dull flickering of his glitches.
“Okay, I’m done,” Tubbo said, taking a step back. Ash had gone overboard. With the sheer number of straps, you’d think he was about to undergo surgery. They fully immobilized his arms and legs, keeping his torso firmly strapped down. Spread flat against the bare stone, he looked more like a slab of meat on a butcher’s block, just waiting to be cut.
Knowing what it was for, the comparison wasn’t as far off as it might seem.
“How is it? Too tight?” he asked.
Ash inclined his head a degree in his direction. “It’s fine.” His voice was strangely subdued. He tested his restraints, tugging on his limbs. Nothing.
With that confirmation, Tubbo picked up his needle and vials. He quickly noticed a problem.
“Oh. Um–”
Ash’s skin was covered in glitches. There were even more than normal, forming a thick cloud to obscure any exposed skin. Whenever he brought the needle close, the particles would flock, blocking him from view.
“Ash, could you… do something? They’re getting in the way.”
There was a beat of silence. Then, like a cloud melting under the sun, the particles around his arm slowly dispersed.
“Thanks.” Tubbo cleaned the area with an alcohol swab. After finding a suitable vein, he tied a band around Ash’s arm, then slowly inserted the needle.
Ash sucked in an almost imperceptible breath. His hands twitched as blood began to flow into the vial. Even though he’d already seen Ash’s blood before, Tubbo was surprised at how normal it looked. The only difference was that drawing blood took slightly more time due to the slower blood flow.
All in all, it was very anti-climatic. When enough blood was collected, Tubbo withdrew the needle, then pressed down with gauze. The whole thing couldn’t have taken more than 20 minutes.
Tubbo unbuckled the restraints. Ash sat up slowly, like he was waking up from a dream.
He couldn’t help but ask, “Is all this really necessary?”
“Yes,” Ash firmly replied. Now that he was off the table, his voice regained a bit of its edge.
Ash stayed still, rubbing his wrists absentmindedly.
“Something wrong?” Tubbo asked. He didn’t like how quiet Ash was being.
“No.” The glitch over his face flickered. “It’s nothing.”
With that unconvincing reply, they fell back into stilted silence. Tubbo began to clean up. “We really have to switch out that table,” he commented, just to fill the void.
“It’s fine,” Ash said. “It was comfortable.”
He was either a liar or insane because there was no way he just called a solid slab of marble comfortable. “We’re switching it out.”
At Ash’s glance, he added, “If you want the sessions to be longer, I have to know that you won’t be getting bed sores after one hour.”
Ash doesn’t respond, but sometime the next day, Tubbo found the marble slab replaced with a proper medical table.
Tubbo reported his findings to Ash the next evening. Those findings were fuck-all.
The blood work came back inconclusive. Something about Ash’s blood made his equipment freak out, and when he put it underneath a microscope, he found out why. There were glitches embedded within the cells, flickering like something alive. He could swear he even saw some teleport.
Fortunately, there was some good news. “I put your cells under some gamma rays. Take a look.”
He pulled out three photos, captured from the microscope.
“Here’s the before.” He pointed at the first photo. “And here’s the after.”
The cells in the second photo were much larger than in the first. They appeared to swell with a bright light.
“And here’s what they looked like an hour later.”
Ash’s eyes scanned over the images intently. “They look exactly the same as before,” he murmured.
Tubbo nodded. “Exactly. It seems like your cells can absorb the energy from gamma rays. After some time, that energy disappears, either being consumed for the cell’s use or some unknown mechanism.”
Ash tilted his head back, the glitches over his face losing focus in a way that showed he was remembering something. “So when Multi captured me, the reason why the tube exploded was because I absorbed the energy.”
“Y–ep,” he agreed, popping the ‘p’. “The enormous amount of radiation probably overloaded your cells, causing them to release the energy outwards. That amount of heat in a sealed container equals–” He made a boom sound, spreading his hands like an explosion.
“Amazing,” Ash marveled. He looked down at his body with wonder. “I wonder if there’s a way to control it…”
Tubbo looked at him sharply. “Don’t bother trying to use this in combat. The sheer energy needed to recreate it isn’t worth it for what could be done with one block of TNT. No, not even for the aura,” he added, catching Ash’s grin.
“Ugh, fine,” he said. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Tubbo chuckled, moving on. “The only problem is that I have no idea where that energy is going. All of my samples died after two hours.”
Ash’s eyes widened. “Is that supposed to happen?”
“Absolutely not.”
He had come back to find that the blood had collapsed on itself, dissolving without any external force. It was like the cells had just unraveled. Something about Ash’s body must be keeping them together.
Speaking of Ash’s body–
“Did you talk to Ewron about the heart?”
Ash averted his eyes. “Yes,” he said carefully. “He said that the only way he’d allow you to see it is if he could supervise the entire time.”
“Since when did you start asking him for permission?” Tubbo scoffed. “Is he blackmailing you or something?”
The other man shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “It’s not like that. He’s just paranoid. I don’t really get it, but it matters to him a lot.”
“Dude, why don’t you just demand that Ewron give it back to you? It’s your heart.”
Ash sighed. “Look, just go along with it. You know how insufferable he can get.”
“Fine.”
Ewron and Ash’s relationship was a mystery to Tubbo.
He could count the number of times he’d interacted with Ewron on one hand, but those tidbits didn’t leave a stellar impression. Highlights included: Ewron killing Ash’s daughter, Ewron groveling to apologize for killing Ash’s daughter, Ewron storming out of the pantheon after an argument, most likely about killing Ash’s daughter.
But that experience must have created a trauma-bond because they were closer than ever. So close in fact that Ewron had Ash’s heart.
He still couldn’t get over that. Ash, what the fuck.
If Tubbo cared more, he’d tell Ash to stop talking to the guy who — oh yeah — killed his daughter, but what did he know? He was just the engineer.
The two of them met Ewron at the church. As they walked down the pews, Ewron waved at them from behind the podium.
“Ash!” he exclaimed, grinning widely. When his eyes landed on Tubbo, his smile twitched. “Tubbo.”
Okay, asshole?
“Ewron,” Ash acknowledged him with a nod. “Thanks for agreeing to come. I know this isn’t our usual–” He tilted his head at Tubbo. “--but it was urgent.”
Tubbo glanced at him, confused. “Was this supposed to be a secret or something?”
Ewron said, “A little bit. But it’s no problem!” He smiled in a way that did not reach his eyes. Tubbo got the feeling that if it weren’t the fact that it were Ash’s heart, the panda would be much less forgiving.
Whatever, he didn’t care. “Show me.”
Ewron reached into his cloak and pulled out the heart.
Tubbo had expected it to look relatively normal, albeit a bit glitched, but that was not the case. Instead of red, the heart was colored a deep, alien blue. It was perfectly spherical and despite the fact that it had no blood to pump, it continued to beat in Ewron’s palm, veins bulging grotesquely.
“Tah-dah!” The panda declared. “See? All in perfect condition!” He looked at Ash eagerly for approval.
“Thanks, Ewron.” The response wasn’t the most sincere, given that Ash didn’t even spare a glance. In fact, his gaze avoided it entirely, as if the sight disturbed him.
Tubbo understood. Even he was feeling disturbed, and it wasn’t even his heart! He couldn’t imagine that it was very pleasant to see your internal organs become external.
“Is there a reason it wouldn’t be in perfect condition?” he asked. “Who would even try to damage it?”
“A lot of people, my good friend!” Ewron said. He slung an arm around the supreme leader’s shoulder, the force of his friendliness aggressively dazzling. “This heart is actually a very powerful artifact! Many people would love to have it for themselves.”
He winked at Ash playfully. Ash looked away.
Tubbo decided to ignore that exchange. He remained skeptical. “Is that so?”
“Yep! Don’t worry, I’m not surprised you didn’t know, since Ash only told you about it a few days ago.” Ewron’s tone stayed light, but there was a condescending edge underneath. The corner of his mouth lifted smugly.
Tubbo’s left eye twitched. Was this guy treating this like some kind of dick-measuring competition?
Well, two could play that game.
“Wow, I had no idea,” he said brightly. “Thanks for letting me know!” He turned back to Ash. “In that case, maybe we should bring it back to the regime for safekeeping.”
Ash didn’t move, but Tubbo could tell he was glancing at him in confusion. Tubbo didn’t allow his expression to twitch.
Ewron’s eyes sharpened for a fraction of a second. “That won’t be necessary,” he said smoothly, “I can keep it safe myself.”
Tubbo tilted his head, eyes wide with concern. “Are you sure?” he asked. “You’re always asking Ash to give you netherite and other gear, so I thought you were struggling. Guess I was wrong.” He shrugged innocently.
Ewron’s hand tightened involuntarily around the heart. Ash let out a strangled wheeze.
“Ewron–!”
“Sorry,” Ewron said, not sounding very sincere. He loosened his grip without breaking eye contact.
Ash straightened, massaging his chest tenderly.
“Whatever, just be careful,” he muttered. Then, more evenly, “Alright– I’ve got business back at the regime. Will you guys be okay without me?”
“We’ll be fine, Ash. I’m sure Ewron can control himself for an hour,” Tubbo said.
Ewron let out a light laugh. He reached out, ruffling Tubbo’s hair. “What an amusing subordinate you have, Ash. I’m sure we’ll get along great.”
The only thing stopping Tubbo from shoving the panda off was because he didn’t feel like stooping to his level. And also, Ash was watching.
“O–kay,” Ash said slowly. “You two are acting weird, so I’m going to go now.”
He waved farewell, warping away.
The moment he was gone, their smiles dropped.
“Get your hand off my head,” Tubbo said, voice flat.
Ewron leaned on Tubbo even harder, his fingers dangling in front of Tubbo’s face. “Shouldn’t you be more polite to your boss’s good friend? I might get offended.”
Tubbo shoved him away. “Actually, just last week, he spent a full day ignoring you to talk with me, so maybe you aren’t such good friends after all. ”
Ewron’s expression soured. “Right, because you aren’t around half the time, so Ash always has to catch you up.” His scowl transformed into a smirk. “That’s why it doesn’t surprise me that Ash didn’t tell you about his heart sooner! I guess you’re not very important to him..”
Tubbo raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “He didn’t tell me because he doesn’t give a shit. You’re the one slobbering over it like a dog.”
Ewron pulled the heart slightly closer to his chest, an instinct he couldn’t seem to suppress.
“I’m protecting it,” he corrected. He lifted it up, holding it with both palms like it was fragile glass. Tubbo didn’t like how he gazed at the heart almost reverently, a manic glint in his eyes. “A lot of people would kill for something like this. Ash trusts me to protect it from unworthy hands.”
The implication was obvious.
“From what I heard, you nominated yourself for the job,” Tubbo pointed out. He sighed, attempting to shift his tone into something more negotiative. “Look, just give me the heart. The sooner I finish studying it, the sooner you can return it to your ender chest.”
The potential to get out of here quicker seemed to inspire something in Ewron because he relented. Carefully placing it in Tubbo’s outstretched palm, his fingers lingered as if unwilling to part with it.
Tubbo winced at the sensation. It was weirdly cold and had a slimy texture. It pulsed rhythmically between his fingers, alien and alive.
“Ugh,” he gagged. Ewron had the audacity to look offended.
“Okay.” Tubbo cleared his throat. “I’m going to just…” He summoned a chair and desk from his inventory, sat down, then set the heart down in a metal tray.
He began examining the heart, poking and prodding with his sensors. Ewron watched every movement like a hawk. His eyes were dark, the red in them shining like rubies.
After one particularly rough jab, Ewron hissed, “Be careful.” He shifted in the corner of Tubbo’s eye, claws twitching as if to snatch it back.
Tubbo huffed, “Do you have to be here? You’re distracting me.”
“Yes,” was the immediate reply.
Tubbo rolled his eyes, having given up on hiding it. “Ash specifically picked me for this job. He’s clearly not worried about me secretly wanting to gut him like fish, so you can stop acting like it.”
Ewron said darkly, “Yes, well, Ash is a very poor judge of character, so forgive me if that doesn’t instill much confidence.”
Tubbo couldn’t argue with that because he wasn’t exactly wrong. Exhibits A and B.
Still. “Says you,” Tubbo retorted. “At least Ash trusts me, you’re not even in the regime.”
Ewron scoffed. “What me and Ash have is more important than the regime could ever be.” He smirked, leaning down to meet Tubbo’s eyes. “You can call yourself his family all you want, but when it comes down to it, I’m the one he trusts the most.”
Tubbo finally turned his full attention on him. He met Ewron’s cocky grin with impassivity.
Finally, he said, “You’re right.”
Surprise flickered across Ewron’s face.
Tubbo looked away. “I’m not his family. I’m just his subordinate.”
He returned his focus to the heart. It pulsed gently beneath his hand.
Silence fell over them as Tubbo continued to run his tests. He ran it through a spectral scan, logged its pulse intervals, and recorded the findings in his notes.
Finally, Tubbo set down his tools. “Okay,” he sighed. “I don’t think I’ll get anything useful out of this.”
None of his readings were making much sense. The heart pumping when it wasn’t connected to anything, Ash being able to feel it telepathically, the reaction of Fatal Error – all signs pointed to some supernatural magic bullshit that he didn’t want to deal with.
Honestly, it had been a long shot anyways. The fact that the heart wasn’t anywhere near Ash when he blew up Multi’s lab already indicated that it probably wasn’t related to the radiation.
Ewron tapped his finger impatiently. “So, are you done?”
“Yeah.” Tubbo waved his hand dismissively. “You can have your fancy pedestal decoration back.”
“Great.” Ewron snatched the heart back. Immediately, he rotated it on all sides to look for damage, gently wiping the flesh as if to cleanse it from Tubbo’s touch.
When he was done, he clutched it protectively to his chest, glaring at Tubbo like he would steal it away.
Tubbo barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He’s all yours, brother.
“Thanks for the good time, Ewron,” he said sarcastically.
Ewron smiled back. “No problem,” he replied sweetly. “I’ll see you later.”
I hope not was Tubbo’s last thought before he warped away.