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He doesn’t know when it started.
His parents had never been the homecooked meal type, but his grandparents had. And when they both passed away when he was eight, food just hadn’t tasted the same. Nothing tasted the same. The world didn’t even look the same, so how was he supposed to act like food still gave him anything but nourishment?
His parents paid no mind. They kept working. Kept travelling.
Sent money home.
He started a new routine after they left again.
Walking back from school, he went into the konbini, and picked up something he could microwave or eat cold. It all tasted like crap, but he couldn’t cook, so what had he expected? Chewing became a chore, eating became an unenjoyable necessity in the grand scheme of his day. He’d much rather be playing games, or watching TV.
But he had to eat, right?
He discovered jellies when he was thirteen.
It was one of the best days of his life.
He’d never forget holding the packet in his hand, seeing the word nutrient slapped all over the side of it, and knowing he could finally stop bothering.
His parents didn’t care when they came home, not that he had lost weight, or that the fridge was full of processed shit. They ate together on occasion, but Nagi knew it didn’t really bother them if he didn’t come down from his room. It was their house, he just lived there.
He kept living like that. He was almost sure he killed his tastebuds completely, so he started incorporating bread into his diet when he moved out to Tokyo. Simple stuff he didn’t mind having for breakfast. Even if it was a pain to chew. It tasted better than mushy cereal, despite the extra effort.
And everything was fine.
Until—
“I know I said it like a joke last time, but Jesus fuck, Nagi, do you eat anything else?”
Reo had gone into his fridge looking for a snack. Nagi, embarrassingly, didn’t have any. He bought his bread fresh on the way to school.
“Eating’s a hassle.” He excused, shrugging as he leaned further into his phone screen.
His new found friend paused.
“Hey.”
He looked up.
Reo was standing over him, brows furrowed.
“Let’s go to the store, okay?”
“Huh?” He frowned. “Why? I thought you wanted to talk strategy. If you’re hungry, just order something.”
Reo was staring at him, brows furrowed together tightly, lips pursed. Nagi didn’t like that expression, so he reluctantly put his phone in his pocket, and followed Reo to the door.
He ended up trailing Nagi to the closest big supermarket. The kind that sell basically everything as long as you know where to look. Nagi had been in one with his grandparents a few times, but he mostly just bought everything from the konbini, so this kind’ve thing was new. He thought it might have been new for Reo too, considering he probably never had a reason to go buy his own groceries.
Reo got a trolley, and began tossing random things in. Nagi stopped paying attention after the 2nd box of eggs. He pulled out his phone, trailing after the billionaire as he loaded up one of his gacha games.
“Do you have a rice cooker?”
“No.” He shrugged. “You don’t need to buy one. I’m not gonna use it.”
“You can’t just eat jellies.” Reo said firmly, softly. Nagi didn’t like it. It felt like Reo knew something he didn’t.
Reo continued on to the counter appliances department. There were microwaves and toasters of every variety, wafflemakers, blenders, you name it. Reo scanned them all for a minute, before lifting the most expensive rice cooker, and awkwardly shuffling all the groceries to try and make room. Nagi put his phone away and helped him, if only to stop Reo from struggling.
They continued on. Reo kept putting random things in the trolley. Nagi didn’t stop him. It was his money. If he wanted to waste it, fine. Nagi had told him already he wasn’t going to use it.
Lastly, right before the tills, Reo pivoted and grabbed a bag of rice.
After paying with a black credit card that Nagi thought only existed in movies, the two hauled everything back to Nagi’s apartment. Reo managed to carry the rice cooker box in one arm while Nagi took the food bags. Reo was so cool.
When they got home, the Mikage heir turned to him expectantly.
“What do you want to eat?”
“I don’t really like anything.” He shrugged uncomfortably. “It all tastes the same to me.”
“W-What?” Reo blinked, unpacking everything into Nagi’s bare cupboards. “You can’t taste anything?”
“It’s all just kinda bitter. That’s why I eat jellies. They don’t taste like anything on purpose.” He explained, but helped set up the rice cooker anyway. He didn’t want Reo to be hungry.
It was sort of fun, trying to figure out how to work it. Reo read the manual six times, measured the rice to the grain, and then nearly dropped the entire thing in the sink trying to figure out how to fill it with water. Nagi only had two glasses, and neither of them were fit for measuring, so Reo had just held it under the tap. He was crazy, but Ba-ya wasn’t around to tell them off, so they did what they could. He sat in front of the rice cooker, watching it tick down as Reo cut up vegetables for himself.
Yet, as he waited with anticipation on this new found rice, something terrified began to crawl in his gut.
He wasn’t going to like it. He knew he wasn’t going to like it. But it would make Reo said if he didn’t eat it. He didn’t want Reo to be sad.
The timer went off.
Nagi took out his only two bowls, and served the two a fair portion of rice. (He put more in Reo’s and hoped the other boy wouldn’t notice.)
Sitting at the table, the moment of truth came.
He put the rice in his mouth. It was basmati, kind of wet, a little bit mushy. He wasn’t sure it was supposed to be like that, but it’s how Reo had cooked it.
He didn’t mind it. He didn’t really have to chew.
Reo sat down in front of him, placing his own bowl of rice, plus all his sides, on the table. “What does it taste like?”
Nagi pondered for a second.
“I don’t know, but the texture is nice.”
“Yeah?” Reo smiled, really smiled.
“Reo is an amazing cook.” He said quickly. He wanted Reo to keep smiling. “Thanks for the food.”
“I think you’re supposed to say that before you start eating, dummy.” Reo laughed. It was a nice laugh. Nagi kept eating. “I’m just glad you like it.”
From then on, Reo made Nagi rice. It got easier to eat. He even tried foods other than rice, but he didn’t really see a point, considering it all tasted the same anyway. But he wouldn’t tell Reo that. There was nothing better than the satisfied smile he would flash Nagi upon seeing a clear plate, even if his portions were always half the size of Reo’s own.
Reo was happy with him, so it was all fine.
“Finish that.” Barou said, irritation clear in his voice.
Nagi looked up to see what Isagi had done to offend him now, only to find the King was staring at him, gesturing with his chop sticks. Isagi was staring too, brows pinched.
“Huh?” He grimaced. He had just finished his rice. It was sitting heavily in his stomach.
Barou insisted. “Finish that!”
“I’m full.” He shook his head. He looked to Isagi for back up, but the other boy sighed. “Do either of you want my omelette?"
“No, Nagi.” Isagi sighed. “Seriously, man. You keep complaining that you’re tired, but you never finish your food. How are you supposed to have the energy to play if you’re only eating rice?”
He didn’t like this conversation.
“Don’t be a pain.” He grumbled, pulling out his phone.
Barou yanked it out of his hands. He stood up, prepared to get it back, but Isagi pushed his side plate towards him. “Eat it, and you can have your phone back.”
He looked between the two of them.
They never worked together, and now they were ganging up on him?
Blue Lock really sucked.
“I don’t want to lose because your lazy ass is too tired to play.” Barou snarled.
He looked down at his plate, before picking up his discarded chopsticks.
Even if natto sucked, it was easier to eat than this. He was almost upset their side dishes had gone up in quality, but then again, being upset was a hassle.
…Besides, they were right, weren’t they?
He’d have more energy. He’d get better, bulk up.
His performance on the field lately had been completely terrible. He was losing. He had lost twice in a row. He never lost. So why? Why was he losing? How much more would he need to bulk up? How much longer would he need to run?
Reo’s words from Harajuku echoed in his ears.
Hmmm… If you started sucking at trapping… Yeah, I’d…
Abandon you.
He wasn’t sucking at trapping right now, but he was sucking. What would Reo do when he heard Nagi had actually been beaten? By Blue Lock’s Number One, at that?
Surely he’d leave Nagi in the dust once they finished the Second Selection. He had to start winning again.
He scooped up a part of his omelette, and began to chew. It was thick. Cloying. The texture of it in his mouth was sickening. It was nothing like rice on its own, or rice with natto. It was like bread, but worse. At least bread was sweet. This was just salty, and thick. Why was it so thick? His stomach roiled as he swallowed, but he fought against it, starting on the next piece.
He was already pretty full from the rice, but he could do this.
He had to do this.
Reo wasn’t going to wait around on some loser that couldn’t even finish an omelette.
He kept eating, kept chewing, kept swallowing. His jaw really hurt. He hoped the other two weren’t watching him.
After he finished, despite the nausea building in his gut, he turned to his teammates.
“Nagi?” Isagi asked.
“Give me my phone.” He demanded.
Barou handed it back to him, pulling his hand away with a tsk.
He got up from the table, and marched back to their room.
Nagi had many regrets. He checked his phone for the sixth time. It was one in the morning.
Barou and Isagi had come back at ten. He ignored them in favour of playing on his phone, pretending he didn’t care about their presence even despite that stunt they pulled earlier. Reo never would have done that to him. The two ignored him back, doing their own nighttime routines, doing cleat upkeep, the works. Nagi had done it all when he had gotten in, so there was no reason for him to come down from the top bunk.
No reason, but—
He had a sore stomach.
It was childish enough that he knew not to bother anyone with it. It would go away. He had simply gone past his limits at dinner, and soon, his body would stop being stupid, would digest the stupid fucking eggs, and Nagi would be able to sleep peacefully.
Or as he’d been telling himself for the past three hours.
It kept getting worse.
The pain was only growing, and he’d shifted enough times that Isagi had kicked his mattress from the bottom bunk.
Served him right, getting Nagi into this mess in the first place.
Burning began in his throat, unfamiliar nausea building.
He rolled onto his back, commiserating. His stomach made a weird gurgling noise.
He couldn’t sleep. His stomach hurt so bad, and his throat was burning, and everything sucked, and everything was a hassle—
He retched involuntarily.
He threw a hand over his mouth, throwing himself from the top bunk and running for the door. It was going to come out.
He barely registered his teammates had both woken up too, both running after him, yelling and demanding what was wrong as he sprinted down the hall. He pivoted into the bathrooms, and ducked inside a stall, just in time for another wave.
He sort of wished it was violent, like it was in the movies. It felt like it should have been violent, but instead, it dribbled out of his mouth and into the bowl, chunky and wet and disgusting. He clutched his stomach, falling to his knees. It wouldn’t stop. It was so sore.
“—Nagi, shit, hey, Nagi!”
Isagi was standing behind him, Barou barging his way into the stall. He hadn’t realised he’d been falling further until the older boy had gripped him by the fringe, preventing his head from going fully into the toilet.
How was it still coming out? Hadn’t it gone on long enough? His stomach cramped like it was seizing, and his throat burned with each expel of disgusting waste. This is why jellies were better, he thought hazily, eyes squeezed shut as undigested chunks of cooked egg forced their way back up his throat, alongside tiny grains of rice. At least jellies didn’t make him sick. It burned, it burned, it burned—
“What’s going on?!” Someone demanded from the doorway.
“Is he crying?” Another voice demanded, less gruff.
He recognised the last one.
“Nagi!”
Reo.
He curled in on himself further, bunching his shoulders. He didn’t care if it felt like his stomach was about to implode, he didn’t want Reo to see him like this. He was Reo’s treasure. Treasures didn’t do stuff this lame. Didn’t throw up, or nearly fall face first into toilets. They didn’t show weakness in front of their rivals.
Maybe Nagi didn’t deserve to be Reo’s treasure after all.
He didn’t realise he was crying at all until he started crying harder, sobs shaking his chest alongside the burning pain all over his torso. He felt like his heart was going to pop.
“Nagi, hey, Treasure, look, you’re okay.” The Mikage heir was frantic. Familiar hands landed on his back, rubbing up and down along his spine. “I’m here, you’re okay.”
He didn’t feel okay. It wasn’t stopping. He wept harder, face scrunched up in pain and embarrassment.
“What’s wrong with him?” It was the gruff voice.
“We don’t know!” Isagi retorted, voice high with angry anxiety. “He just jumped off the top bunk and started throwing up!”
It stopped.
He took a deep, desperate breath, trying not to die inside as a harsh whimper broke it half way. Reo was still rubbing his back. “You’re okay, Treasure. You’re okay.”
“Here.”
A cup of water was forced to his lips. It was a basic task, he’d been drinking water his whole life, but he couldn’t do it, jaw trembling with sobs as they tried again. It hurt so bad.
He managed to force his eyes open, and although they were blurry with tears, he could see Reo kneeling beside him, one of the sports cups held tightly in his hand, void of a lid. He ignored the water once more, peering into the toilet. It was covered in beige, chunk filled vomit. It was so disgusting he nearly threw up again. His breath hitched, tears still streaming down his face, and Reo grabbed his face, tilting his head away until his back was against the bowl.
He looked up.
Barou and Isagi were still standing there, staring down at him in horror, but they were accompanied by the speedster and the really buff guy from Team Z.
He was now very aware of the fact he was still crying and sniffling.
This was so terrible. This was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him, hands down.
He scrubbed at his face with his wrists, looking down. Reo put the plastic water bottle in his hands, half because he needed to drink something, half because he didn’t want him to be so rough on his face.
“Do you have a bug? Are you sick?” The speedster asked. He shook his head, raising the drink with shaking hands. He rinsed his mouth out, before getting up on trembling knees and spitting into the bowl.
“What happened?” Reo asked calmly. Nagi hadn’t seen him since they split up for the 3v3s. He thought the next time they saw each other, it was because they had both gotten stronger. That he might have been finally worthy to stand beside Reo, but no. He was lying on the floor of some random bathroom, having just puked his guts up over a side dish. What a joke.
“Too much food.” He rasped instead of crying again, because crying was a pain.
Isagi and Barou froze.
“What do you mean?” Reo asked.
He shook his head, curling his knees up and resting his head against them so he wouldn’t have to see their faces. He didn’t like their expressions. He wanted to go home.
“All you had was dinner!” Barou snapped.
Reo stiffened beside him.
“It was too much.” He moaned, covering his mouth as another wave of nausea overcame him.
He turned around just in time to avoid vomiting on Reo. It splashed against the toilet bowl.
Unbeknownst to him, over his head, the group of five were staring at him with a subtle mix of apprehension and horror. Reo stood up, going back to rubbing his back again before addressing the rest of the group. Nagi was 190cm, but curled up against the toilet, arms braced around his head as his whole body trembled, he had never seen someone look so small.
“He has a really small appetite, and even then, it’s usually plain foods. What did he have?”
“Uh, rice.” Isagi mumbled, thinking back to dinner. Everyone was half awake. It was one in the morning, and they had to be up at six. “And an omelette.”
“Fuck sake…” Reo grumbled, pushing his hair out of his face. Nagi heaved, and the rest looked away.
“I thought he was just a picky eater.” The black haired boy frowned. Barou nodded in agreement, looking uncharacterically worried. Perhaps he was just worried about not having enough players to do their next match.
Nagi stopped again. Chigiri and Kunigami hovered outside the stall, faces rife with confusion and exhaustion. Reo sighed. “If you all want to go back to bed, I can wait with him.”
“No, he’s our teammate. Plus, we kind’ve…”
Reo raised an eyebrow.
“We didn’t make him do anything!” Barou snarled, walking out of the stall, but not out of the bathroom. He started pacing. “We just thought if he ate the whole damn thing for once, he wouldn’t be so fucking tired all the time, and we would stop having to fucking hear about it!”
“You took his phone!” Isagi retorted.
“You were the one who said he could have it back when he finished!”
“YOU WHAT?!”
Everyone froze. Even Nagi.
Reo shoved them both. “YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TELL HIM TO DO ANYTHING?!”
“Hey, hey!” Kunigami jumped between them, holding two hands out against Reo’s chest. “This isn’t going to help anyone!”
Reo strained against him, until—
“B-Boss.”
Reo froze. Barou stiffened, tensed, prepared to strike back, but Reo had already walked back into the stall.
“D-Don’t, i-it was my f-fault.” Nagi pleaded, looking up at him with those tear filled, big, black eyes. Reo would have given him the entire world if he asked for it right now.
“Treasure.” He said softly, dropping to kneel beside him.
“I-I thought I could finish it. I wanted to try.”
Reo’s jaw snapped shut, if only to prevent his next words. Stop trying.
The door opened. The six of them froze.
The group turned around, and there, standing in the hallway, was Ego Jinpachi.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nagi’s sick.” Chigiri explained, the only one undaunted in the face of the monster who had been tormenting them for the past few weeks.
“Huh.” He grimaced. “Come to the infirmary now. There’s a cleaning crew coming to sort that out. We can’t have anybody getting sick.”
Nagi tried to push himself up against the stall wall, but Reo caught him, grabbing his waist and draping his arm over his shoulder.
“Reo, I should be the one to go with him. I’m his teammate—”
The black haired boy fell silent.
Mikage Reo turned, slowly, incredulously, dangerously.
Purple met blue.
“Fuck.” Reo spat slowly, each syllable overly pronounced, as if Isagi didn’t have the intelligence to understand him, his upper lip curling in a sneer. “Off.”
The Hakuho duo dragged themselves from the room.
The infirmary was quiet.
Ego had accepted his explanation of Nagi’s circumstances, and deemed him fine to play tomorrow, but told him to sleep in the infirmary overnight just to be safe. Nagi had taken two paracetamol and dropped into the closest bed, curled in the fetal position. Reo sat at the edge of it, watching as the only adult in the facility left them to fend for themselves.
“…Reo?”
“Yeah?” He replied.
“‘M sorry.” Nagi whispered.
“You don’t need to be sorry.”
“But I am.” He mumbled, covering his eyes with his forearm. “I wanted to get stronger… I wanted to show you I could be good enough and you wouldn’t need to do everything all the time.”
Reo felt like the floor had dropped beneath his feet.
Nagi sniffled, staring up at him with teary eyes as he moved his hands to clutch at his own face. “I’m so lame.”
Reo slapped a hand over his mouth, effectively shutting him up as he dove into the infirmary bed beside him, throwing both legs over Nagi’s hips. The white haired boy stared at him in disbelief, blinking back tears.
“You’re not lame, dummy!” He said, leaning in. “Is that why you wanted to split up?!”
“Huh? I told you.”
“You—!” He snarled at the sky, praying for strength. “Ugh!”
“Reo?”
“Why would you keep that to yourself?” He yelled. “Treasure, I thought you didn’t care about me anymore!”
“What?” Nagi gaped. “How could you think that?”
“You just up and left with shitty Isagi and his boy toy, what was I meant to think?”
“That I was going to go get better, so we could accomplish our dream!”
They stared at each other.
Reo started laughing first, tears of relief welling in his eyes. Nagi smiled wearily.
“Geez, we’re crap at this, huh?”
“A little.” Nagi wiped his eyes with his wrist again. Reo caught it, before gently thumbing away the tears blooming in those big dark eyes.
“You need to be more careful with yourself.” He whispered, cradling the taller boy’s face. “I don’t want to see you get hurt, Treasure. And don’t let those awful, ignorant plebs bully you either—”
“Reo, I’m fine.” Nagi said softly.
“But you weren’t fine.”
“But you weren’t fine either, were you?” Nagi tried to sit up, but Reo pushed his shoulders until he was lying flat. He still looked a little pale, if Reo was being honest. “I’m sorry, Reo.”
“Just promise me you’ll actually talk to me about this next time.” Reo sighed, taking both of Nagi’s too thin hands in his own. He had definitely gained a bit of muscle after their ten days of training, but… “And don’t just assume you’re not good enough to stand beside me. Remember what I told you? You’re fine, just the way you are.”
Nagi bit his lip, before turning his head, half burying it into the pillow. He mumbled something.
“What?” Reo asked.
“I’m not, though.” He muttered, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “There are so many people who are better than me.”
Reo wished Nagi was more like him, because that was a truly scary statement coming from someone like Nagi. If it was just self-pity, Reo could’ve assured him. This was a genuine revelation.
“So… If I try and eat more, I’ll get stronger, right? And I’ll have more energy.” Nagi sighed, chest falling. Reo shifted until they were lying down next to each other. “I know I don’t like it, but I have to. For our dream. I can’t just eat rice anymore.”
“You should try and eat more for yourself, not just because you’re scared of losing.”
“I can’t try for me.” He admitted. “It’s easier if it’s for Reo.”
Reo fell silent. Nagi looked away.
The two were shoulder to shoulder. The beds in the infirmary were bigger than the typical twins in the dorms, but it was still a tight fit between two athletes. Reo shifted onto his side, grabbing Nagi’s shoulder and turning him until his head was tucked under Reo’s chin. Then, slowly, carefully, he wrapped two arms around the beanpole currently limp against him.
If they had never split up, if Nagi hadn’t been stupid enough not to realise Reo would gladly follow him to hell, he could’ve worked on this. Could’ve been a guiding hand, instructed Nagi on portions and the best foods to build up jaw strength and his appetite. He would have made lists, plans. Found alternatives and work arounds. Could’ve molded his treasure best.
But they were apart.
And despite their upcoming rivalry battle, Reo had a feeling it might stay that way.
So, he did what he could.
Told him the last thing he wanted to say.
Because it was the only way they were both making it out of this.
“Keep trying.”
Nagi settled against the crook of his neck.
“Okay.”