Chapter Text
Ragatha is having a hard time focusing as Caine explains yet another ‘adventure’.
It's not common for the doll to openly ignore the AI and his ministrations, but Pomni not being fond of the softball game (if it can even be classified as such) they had the day prior is leaving her distracted.
It wasn't her fault that it had gone off the rails so quickly. Ragatha just wanted some good old fashioned fun, like she had as a child. Being on the baseball team was one of the few joys she had in her youth, alongside horseback riding.
No one even gave it much of a try, all of them just wanting to get it over with.
She didn't even get to pitch. It didn't even matter to them that it meant so mu-... she needs to calm down. She sighs inwardly.
‘Why does this bother me so much? It's not like I had any say in that adventure.’ Ragatha mentally admonishes herself before bringing her attention back to the newest example of Caine's inability to create something enjoyable.
It seems like the toothsome ringmaster basically just threw together an idea to get them out of his metaphorical hair for a while. He's too busy with preparations for some fake awards show he has slated for later this evening.
She's pretty sure the in-house adventure has something to do with guns. An idea she becomes even less fond of when the only one to be handed a loaded firearm is Jax of all people.
“Wait what am I doing? I wasn't paying attention.” The bunny boy drawls with a look of misunderstanding on his face, for once having something in common with Ragatha.
Not that she'd ever admit that.
Suddenly, Caine appears at Jax's side and places his hands on both sides of the bunny's head.
Jax's eyes roll into the back of his head, a pale white light shining from the sockets. It ends just as fast as it began, his face of confusion changing to that of realization and mild excitement.
“Oh” He looks down at the weapon before raising it to shoulder height, directly at Ragatha. In a swift motion he cocks the hammer of the six-shooter in his hand and pulls the trigger.
Before she can react the bullet pierces her flesh.
Searing pain bubbles from deep within her forehead and spreads outward toward her extremities. Ragatha loses control of her body as she falls to the ground, a trail of cotton gore left in place where she once stood. A chilling numbness fills the ragdoll's body as everything goes black. Her mind shuts down as the embrace of death curls around her.
All too suddenly she is ripped back to consciousness, on her feet and completely unscathed.
A dull throb in Ragatha's head is the only evidence that she was just shot dead, like a deer in hunting season.
The fog surrounding her mind finally clears, just to find that Caine has already moved on with the explanation. Ragatha looks around at her fellow circus members. Not an iota of care for what just happened to her.
“Last team surviving is the winner. Happy?” He sounds exasperated as he crosses his arms, sending a light glare Zooble's way. They always seem to be the main object of his attention. Like their refusal to participate only makes him want their cooperation more than the others.
“Not really.” The mix-and-match circus member replies with a shrug.
This is when Ragatha realizes that she has no idea what the adventure actually is. All she knows is that guns are involved and Jax seems to be extremely excited.
“You get 5 minutes to figure the teams out. Once that's up it's a free-for-all!” Caine exclaims before snapping his fingers, which causes a large countdown to appear above the cast's heads.
Zooble and Gangle team up almost immediately, after the shy ribbon denies Jax's invitation, much to Ragatha's silent enjoyment. She stifles a giggle, knowing it would only cause more problems between her and the purple rabbit.
Like she needs another god[%$!#] centipede in her room.
‘Good for Gangle. Zooble's been a great influence on her.’ Ragatha smiles solemnly knowing she'll probably end up with Kinger. It's just like drafting in elementary school kickball, the undesirables are usually left for last.
She doesn't mind. He was the first person she ever met in the circus. Ragatha was alone with the irrational chess piece and Caine for the first year. She probably wouldn't still be here if not for his lucid moments where he comforted her.
“Hey, you wanna be on my team?” Ragatha is ripped from her musing by Pomni asking to partner up. She didn't expect this. Of course the ragdoll wants to partner with the closest thing to a friend she's had since Rib- since she abstracted.
She is about to pounce on the offer, until she is reminded of who would be forced into the final team if she did.
“Oh! I-I'd love to, but… Well I really don't want Kinger to get stuck with Jax.” God, why is she doing this? Pomni actually came to her. Wanted to be around her, and she is turning her down to protect someone who wouldn't even recognize the difference.
“Oh, yeah. Well I could be on Kinger's team. He and I were together once and it wasn't too bad.” The small jester shrugs with an uncomfortable smile on her face.
She messed up. Maybe Ragatha should just go back on what she said and accept the invitation to be on Pomni's team.
She'll just bring up how she can't partner with Jax, cause he hates her. Then the ragdoll can say she'd actually rather team up with her.
“And have m-me on…” Before Ragatha could pluck up the courage to regress on her previous statement, Pomni comes to the rescue. Ragatha really wishes she hadn't.
“Oh, um, yeah. Just forget I asked. I'll be on Jax's team.” She forces out before turning away to go to the aforementioned bunny.
[%$!#], that didn't go how Ragatha wanted at all. This is why nobody goes out of their way to be around her. Why when the adventure of the day is done, everyone pairs off and leaves her alone. Do something! Say anything! Don't leave it like that.
“W-wait!” She calls in an attempt to get the other woman's attention. Pomni turns to look at Ragatha with her suddenly intimidating pinwheel eyes.
‘Just tell her what you want. It'll be okay. You can still fix this.’
“A-ah” She stammers out, articulate as ever.
Pomni looks at her in confusion before trying to reassure her, parroting what the doll said earlier.
“Like you said. Probably good to keep Kinger and Jax separate. I can keep Jax in check so don't worry about me.”
The jester turns back around to continue her stride towards the violent rabbit. The person Ragatha all but shoved her at.
Why is she so bad at this?
She could have just said yes. They would have teamed up for this adventure, had a wonderful time together, and maybe even cemented the first real friendship Ragatha has had in a long time.
She needs to do something. She can't lose Pomni too. She's different. The doll can't help but want to be closer to her.
“Hey, Pomni.” The girl turns around for the third time as Ragatha calls out to her again. Oh god, she's being annoying. She needs to either actually say something, or let it go for now. She can’t keep bothering the jester like this.
“I-if… If you ever need to talk to somebody… o-or need help with anything… I'm here.” She meant it as a reassuring statement. A way for Pomni to know she was here for her, through thick and thin.
Ragatha is terrified that it came off incredibly desperate.
This is only confirmed with the weak, placating laugh and thumbs up the other girl gives her in response.
She watches Pomni walk away, not daring to call out to her a fourth time.
‘No wonder Ragatha. No wonder the only person close to you in this god forsaken place is completely insane.’
As if summoned by her thoughts, Kinger appears directly by her side. They both yelp in surprise. Once they both grasp their bearings, Kinger is the first to break the silence.
“That was painful to watch Ragatha.”
“Please, of all things, don't remember that.” A look of ashamed embarrassment on her face.
“Remember what?” The royal game piece scratches his wooden head as he crosses his eyes, showing off how utterly lost to the plot he is.
That horrible excuse for a conversation aside, Ragatha spent the majority of the five minute timer getting caught up on the rules of the battle royale-esque adventure of the day from Kinger. Her teammate had short gaps in his memories of the rules, but she was more than able to infer what was left out.
They arrive at the triangle made by the three teams around a pile of weapons conjured for this new game. Five seconds left on the clock, everyone prepares to pounce on the stache the moment it runs out.
5…
Ragatha couldn't help but look at Pomni.
4…
She's looking down, seemingly analyzing the pile for the perfect item to grab.
3…
‘Gosh her eyes. The way her pupils spin slightly when she's focused.’
2…
Ragatha shakes her head in an attempt to focus on the task at hand. The last thing she needs to do is obsess over her friend's (hopefully, still) pinwheel orbs. She forces the light dusting of pink away from her cheeks, bringing her attention to the jester's teammate.
1…
Jax is lifting a rifle (that Ragatha just noticed he held in his hands), and is pointing it directly at her. Of course he is. She prepares to duck behind the pile of weaponry in an attempt not to be shot the moment the timer ends.
0 !
All of the guns vanish into thin air, including the one gripped by the rabbit across from her. No fanfare, no noise, not a sign that they existed in the first place. They were just gone.
This is followed by three hearts appearing above the heads of every participant. Except for Ragatha who only receives two. Of course she does. Is she really being held accountable for Jax shooting her before the game even started?
“Wait. That counted?!” It isn't as if the prospects of shooting bullets at her circus companions particularly excited her, but she'd at least appreciate the competition being fair.
Caine takes this moment to explain that the guns have been teleported all around the circus, and to continue in the game they'll have to hunt down the tools to do so first.
As the opposition begins to run in random directions, their goal quite obvious, Ragatha takes this opportunity to plead for the missing life from the ringmaster. That is before Kinger grabs her, spouting about how there isn't time, and runs off with her in tow.
‘You weren't gonna win anyway so why does it matter.’
The chess piece and ragdoll round the corner of a giant building block, coming upon a gun Ragatha thinks might be a Glock floating within a pale blue light. She truthfully knows barely anything about guns, despite her dad being an avid collector before he passed.
Kinger shuffles over to the firearm, grasping it in both hands. He begins talking about how they should keep an eye out for the two youngest circus members (Jax and Zooble).
Ragatha would much rather not run into Jax for the entire in house adventure. The rabbit would probably relish in punishing her for daring to exist in his presence.
‘I miss the timid bunny that used to follow Kaufmo and Rib- her around when he first came to the circus.’
She hadn't thought about the old Jax in a while.
They used to be friends.
Early mornings where they were the only two awake come to mind. She'd make them both tea. He'd blow on it a few times, then still burn his digital tongue on the hot liquid. They'd sit at one of the tables inside of the circus's cafe area in comfortable silence, maybe engage in light conversation. Back then the worst thing about him was the self-deprecating humor.
That Jax feels millions of miles away. Pomni never even got to meet that version of him.
Right… Pomni.
Ragatha also wasn't very keen on running into the purple rabbit because it meant seeing her. After the entire fiasco that was her conversation with the jester, she doubted she hadn't ruined the tentative friendship they were slowly forming.
She really wants the new girl to like her, and it feels like she has been failing at every turn.
Ragatha looks up to the sky in exasperation, only to be reminded of another annoyance plaguing her at the moment. Those two, out of three possible, hearts taunt her. Caine wouldn't even give her the same courtesy as everyone else. A reminder of how little anyone here really cares about her.
“Man, I'm still missing a heart. This isn't fair.” She lets the complaint escape her mouth, leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.
Kinger looks at her with that crazy but caring look in his eye. He's been in the circus far longer than anyone else. Despite his insanity, he tries his best to make others feel seen. He's even been known to give rather sage advice from time to time.
“Huh? Oh! I've got just the thing.” The chess piece proceeds to clap his unattached gloves together, revealing a golden butterfly.
“Here, take this.” It flutters over to Ragatha. Without hesitation she pokes at the iridescent insect, which disappears upon contact. A small ping is heard as she regains the missing life point.
Okaaaay…
She's been way too distracted today. The ragdoll absolutely missed whenever Caine brought up the healing butterflies. Upon voicing her befuddlement, Kinger's response only seems to confuse her further.
“Oh nah, I made it up.”
What? No, Kinger has to have just forgotten that Caine made that a rule or something. It doesn't make sense that he'd be able to change something about the game without the ringmaster's permission.
Either way, they must be quite rare, yet Kinger gave it to her. She can't let that go to waste.
Besides, it might be a little therapeutic to give Jax a bit of his own medicine. And it's just an adventure so no one will be mad at her for trying. Right?
She finds a small purse pistol lying atop a wooden crate, and prepares her heart for what is to transpire. Not a second too soon either, as Kinger gets shot through the wooden head.
He almost instantaneously respawns, calling out a sniper around the corner.
She turns in the opposite direction and begins running away from the gun fire, only to be swiftly shot and double tapped by Jax and Pomni respectively. The feeling of heat ripping through her head returns as her plush head explodes into a shower of cotton. OUCH!
She returns all too soon and, noticing that she lost her gun along with her life, decides to make a tactical retreat. She begins rapidly turning corners, trying to find anything she can defend herself with. Jax suddenly appears from the direction she came from, in hot pursuit.
Of course, he followed her.
To her left on the ground is her salvation. She skids to a stop, grabs the gun off the floor, and fires without much thought. A small flag with the word Bang! pops out of the barrel.
Of course it does.
Why wouldn't it, that'd be much too lucky for her.
The frustrating purple bunny takes a moment to giggle to himself, before pointing his gun at her. In a moment of panicked improvisation, Ragatha takes her useless gun and throws it at him. As the firearm sails through the air, beaning Jax in the head, something entirely unexpected happens. The pole with a small flag embeds itself deep inside the rabbit's skull with the sickening sound of rubber snapping.
His body topples to the floor as Ragatha runs past him. A surprised laugh escapes her mouth, but shock aside, she is not about to waste this opportunity.
‘Where to go? Where to go?’ She thinks to herself, needing to make a decision fast. Her eyes land on the stairs leading to the cast members’ bedrooms. That could work. He'd have to at least go back to his room and grab her room key. It would at least give her some time to figure out a plan.
In no time at all, Jax pops back into existence with the wound in his head now missing.
“OW! WHAT THE [%$!#] RAGS?"
Focused on her destination, Ragatha responds only in laughter as she reaches the flight of stairs. The rabbit, now incensed by being laughed at, fires his weapon wildly in her direction.
One bullet within the spray knicks her shoulder as she begins her ascent, cotton spilling from the fresh wound.
While she hobbles up the stairs, Jax reaches the bottom of the staircase, aims as best he can, and fires his gun.
The bullet flies through the air finding purchase within the back of Ragatha's head. She falls against the stairs, her once again dead body beginning to tumble down.
Lady luck smiles upon her a moment later, as Ragatha respawns at the top of the stairs. She gives a haughty laugh before making her way to the dorm hall. She can hear Jax calling out to her as he ascends as quickly as he can.
“Come on, Rags! What's a little gunplay between friends?” He shouts with an excited lilt to his voice. Is he actually enjoying this?
She can't help but snicker to herself. Ragatha's starting to have a bit of fun too. She decides to play it up a little and give Jax a taste of his own medicine. “Gotta catch me first little rabbit!”
Ragatha hears a laugh from him behind her. Not the fake antagonistic laugh she had become so accustomed to, but a real one. She hasn’t been the cause of that laugh in a long time. The shadow of a sad smile crosses her face before she forces one with more mirth.
She has missed this.
He reaches the top of the stairs as she rounds the corner into the dorm hall. Her room is only the fourth on the right. She might just make it if she's lucky.
Jax jumps within view of the dorm rooms, gun raised and ready to finish this.
“End of the line, dollface.” A large, [%$!#] eating grin adorns his face as he pulls the trigger. A light clicking noise is heard, signifying that the gun is out of ammo. He gives the firearm a sideways glare before tossing it over his shoulder.
Using the failed shot to her advantage, Ragatha makes it to her door with a huge grin on her face. She hesitates with her hand on the knob.
‘We're actually having fun together. Do I really want to cut this short?’ She looks further down the hall, seeing a pale blue pillar of light surrounding a brand new gun.
Ragatha brings her non button eye to Jax's yellow ones. They share a brief glance. He seems to have noticed the gun at the end of the hallway right after she did.
“Race ya, bunny boy.” She challenges before taking off, cackling the whole way.
Jax follows after her, huffing out a couple chuckles of his own. He's gaining on her, but the ragdoll started with a rather large lead so it will be close.
Ragatha puts her all into the mad dash past the dorm rooms. She makes it to the weapon first, grabbing it out of the air. She turns around just in time to witness Jax tackle her to the ground.
The gun flies into the air, spinning above them. Jax hops to his feet reaching for the offending firearm as Ragatha shuffles on the ground to lean her back against the closest door. The weapon reaches its apex before descending into the rabbit's hand.
The ragdoll can't help the giddy giggles that accost her in the moment.
“Well, you won fair and square Jax. Good game.” She gives him an awkward smile and a quick finger gun before realizing something is wrong. He isn't looking at her. The rabbit's eyes are focused directly above where she is sitting, a thousand yard stare adorns his slack features.
Weren't they having fun? What got into him?
Ragatha turns to look at the doorplate above her and her blood runs cold. The familiar image of a smiling frog with an obtrusive red X drawn atop.
‘Oh no.’ She diverts her attention to her once-friend. It's as if she doesn't exist. His eyes never leave the visage of his… of their old friend. A sharp pain floods its way into Ragatha's heart.
She knows she promised. That he doesn't want her to say anything. But even with everything that's happened between them, no one should be alone in grief.
‘She wouldn't want it like this.’ And with that thought Ragatha did something very dumb.
“I miss her too, y'know?” His attention is immediately locked onto her. His expression doesn't change, his eyes boring holes into her. Despite that, Ragatha continues.
“If you ever want to talk… I'd like to talk about her. She was my friend too. What happened wasn't anyone's fa-”
Jax's face suddenly changes to one of alarm, pupils shrinking to pinpricks.
Without letting her finish, he jams his finger on the trigger of the gun in his hand repeatedly until it empties. None of the bullets hit a vital enough spot to kill her instantly this time.
Her abdomen is riddled with holes.
As she fades away, Ragatha catches his breathing quicken as he looks down at his shaking hands.
She pops back into existence somewhere completely different. She finds herself in a relatively dark room with a banner emblazoned with the words Loser Corner.
The room consists of a group of benches to sit on and a large aquarium, which functions as the room's light source.
Ragatha sits down on one of the benches, absently staring at the fake fish within their tank. She's alone in here, the first one out of the game. That doesn't bother her as much as she thought it would. For the first time in a long while, she's too busy worrying over Jax to care.
When she had accidentally convinced Pomni to join the rabbit's team for this adventure, she was scared for the jester. She was so nervous about him corrupting her, but now she’s realizing that he needs help more than any of them.
She can only hope the newest member of the circus can help him in ways that she couldn't.
‘That's not fair to her. I'm the only one that knows what you used to be like. God[%$!#]it Jax we used to be friends.’
How he just acted in front of her is exactly how they all do before… Oh God. He isn't going to abstract, is he? She doesn't want that. Even with everything that has changed between them since the beginning, she could never bring herself to fully hate him. Not with how he used to be, or how painfully obvious what it was that changed him.
He was still there. He wasn't beyond saving.
She had seen it. That fleeting moment of fun between the two. That was the old Jax. The one that used to swipe plushies he found during adventures just because he knew she collected them. The Jax who would excitedly tell Kaufmo and her about new doors he found around the circus.
‘You are still there. I refuse to lose another friend while I'm too scared to help.’ She’s pulled out of her inner musing by the sudden pop of her teammate appearing within the room.
“Ah, what a game. Who knew Pomni could be such a sharpshooter? These adventures, huh?” Kinger reminisces on the fun he had today before turning to Ragatha and noticing how upset she seems.
“Um. Are you feeling alright?” She shakes her head negatively in response, before letting out a long stuttering breath.
“I think Jax… might be close to abstracting.” She wipes away the tears welling in her eye before looking up at the chess piece.
Kinger looks at her gravely as he takes a seat on the bench beside her. He places a caring hand on Ragatha's shoulder before speaking.
“Why do you think that, Ragatha?” He makes direct eye contact with her, letting the ragdoll know he is taking this seriously. She takes in a large breath of air, attempting to calm down before continuing.
“We were having fun, which in itself is absolutely crazy, and both running for a gun at the end of the hallway. But, when we got to the end, he saw her door. It was just different. I don't know how to explain it. His face was blank but there was panic behind his eyes. She looked just like that before…”
“Before Ribbit abstracted, you mean?” Upon hearing her name, Ragatha can no longer hold back her tears.
“Why don't both of you talk about her? I think it'd do a world of good.”
Of course she had tried that, but she'd made that promise to him hoping it was only until he was ready. Days, then months, and finally years passed with them only growing further apart over time.
She wants to tell him this. To yell until her voice is hoarse. That she misses her so much. That she misses who Jax used to be.
“How am I supposed to help him if he hates me?” This isn't about her. Ragatha will help Jax. He will not disappear into that cellar like everybody else.
“The worst thing you can do in this place is make someone feel unloved. Have you tried meeting him halfway?”
Ragatha steels her resolve at his words. She’s waited long enough for Jax to be ready for this. It’s time for them to talk.
For him. For her.