Chapter Text
It all started a couple of days ago. Well actually, it all started a few years ago. Right after he was rescued from the Upside Down. During a time when even the smallest shadow would make him jump. Sometimes it all became too much. The memories became too real.
A teacher once told Will to write things down if he became overwhelmed. He couldn’t remember their name, he could barely remember their face. But he remembered their words. So one particularly bad day, he decided to take their advice to heart.
What did he want in the future? A simple idea, kinda cheesy, but one that forced him to look beyond the here and now. So Will considered it. He thought of ideas, then he wrote them down in a letter to his future self.
A couple of days, while looking for another pencil, Will stumbled across the letter when he unearthed the mess behind his desk. Curious, he opened it. Part of him wished he hadn’t.
Dear Future Me,
This is kinda weird. But so much has happened and I feel like I’m going crazy. Maybe if I write it down, it’ll start to make sense? Or maybe not. Anyway, someone recently asked me this question. What do I want in the future? Right now, I really don’t know. I don’t even think I’ll have a future. Do the nightmares ever stop? Sorry, that was weird. I’ll stop.
What do I want in the future? Maybe I should write a list. Like a checklist. Okay, let’s try that.
- I want to make new friends.
Don’t get me wrong, the Party is great. But I see those guys all the time. Another friend might be pretty cool.
- I want to be done with the Upside Down.
Please, please, please, let this one come true!
- I want to get a job and have money.
I don’t want Mom or Jonathan to have to work for me anymore.
- I want a cool car.
That would be so cool!
- I want another dog.
Chester…Chester was amazing. I miss him. In the future, I think I’ll be ready to find another almost as good as him.
- I want cool clothes.
I don’t want to keep getting picked on. The kids at school are assholes.
- I want to become an artist.
I’ll need to go to college first, right? Somewhere cool? Like New York maybe. You think I can do it?
- I want to find someone who loves me.
Do you think it’ll ever happen for me? After what Dad says about me? I hope so. It’ll be nice to just be normal for once.
Future me, make it happen!
Will
Will read it once. Then again. Then again. Each time, something warm blossomed inside him, only to be extinguished by the cold hard truth of reality. One. There was just one item on that list he had definitely achieved. Vecna was dead. The Upside Down was finally gone. He was free.
Will had made some new friends too, but they were a part of the Party. Did that count? Max and El were awesome. Robin too. So maybe that was another one he’d achieved. Still, part of him kind of wanted to know what it felt like to have a friend who didn’t know exactly how screwed up he was. Someone cool and popular, that everyone liked. But he knew it would never happen. This was real life. Not some comic book where the heroes got their happy endings.
What about the rest? He still didn’t have a job. Which meant no car or cool clothes. Chester was long dead and buried, back in the woods behind their old house. With no sign of a replacement anytime soon. As for the last one, well there was no chance of that happening anytime soon. Not in Hawkins.
He sighed.
Once again he had failed. Failed to give his younger self the kind of future he’d always wished for. A future where he wasn’t ostracised, where people actually liked him.
Maybe it’s not too late?
The list wasn’t bad, not really. And some of the things on it were possible. Like getting a job and using the money to buy some clothes. Both perfectly normal things teenagers were expected to do. That’s what Will wanted most of all, wasn’t it? To be normal. To be just like everyone else, as best as he could be.
What about a car?
Again, a perfectly normal thing for teenagers to save up for. Lucas had been saving for months. Mike too. If his friends were already doing it, he could too. He’d certainly need one to get to college, if he ever got accepted that is.
And college?
That one would be a little harder. With all of the Upside Down stuff going on, he hadn’t exactly kept on top of extra-curriculars. He’d need to find something good and quick. That meant new clubs. Talking to people. Not just clinging to his friends. That…that was going to be harder.
“What are you doing?”
He yelped, whirling around and clutching the letter to his chest. “Jesus, El, you scared the crap outta me!”
El pushed the door open further, giving him a mischievous little smile. “You’re jumpy. You’re hiding something.”
God, to think that just last year, they almost lost her for good. That she’d almost followed her sister into the afterlife, thinking she’d be keeping them all safe. But somehow, by some miracle, Will had noticed the door, while trying to shield his eyes from the rubble. The door that opened on its own then closed. Like it was hiding something. Or someone.
It had been a hunch, a hope more than anything. But it had been enough. With the Upside Down being torn into pieces just feet away, he had sent her one last desperate message through the link they shared. A link that somehow had still survived, even when its original source, Vecna, had not. A location. A promise.
Two days later, there she was. Hidden deep in the woods, in a tiny shelter near where Castle Byers once stood. A place Will had made himself, unbeknownst to anyone, for those times when he just needed to be alone.
The military had left not long after. They’d seen her die for themselves. And with an entire town to keep quiet, which undoubtedly cost them a pretty penny, they didn’t stay long enough to question.
In the months that followed, life slowly returned to normal. Tears were shed, reunions were had and El finally had a family to call her own. Ted and Karen eventually recovered and returned home. With Nancy and Mike doing their best to keep the house together until they were well enough to take over the reins once more. As for Max, she was back. She was alive and slowly recovering. It would be a long road to recovery for her, but it would be so, so worth it.
The Byers and Hoppers eventually moved in together, following a rather substantial payout from the government for everything they’d been put through. It meant they had a new home, with a second floor. They even had a basement of their own now. Though of course, Mike’s basement was still the go to hangout spot.
“I’m not.” He protested, trying to hide the letter. He was too slow.
“Ah ha!” El grabbed it, grinning at him. “Friends don’t lie!” She declared hotly.
“Yeah, well, brothers and sisters do!” He argued back. He paused, thought about it, then hastily added, “Sometimes they do.” He tried to snatch it back. “El, come on, it’s mine!”
El stuck her tongue out at him. Something that brought a rush of fondness to the surface, even as he tried to snatch it back again. Despite the situation, it was good to see her like this. To see her acting so free and happy again.
“El!” He protested one final time, then stumbled over one of his sketchbooks. He just barely managed to catch himself, hissing as he bumped his leg against the dresser.
El took her chance. She started to read, only to freeze in her tracks. Whatever she had thought this was, it wasn’t. This wasn’t something she could tease Will over. It wasn’t about a secret crush of his. This was something personal. Something from his past. About his future no less.
“You made a list?”
Will rubbed at his leg, grimacing as he stood again. “It’s nothing,” he said quickly, a little too quickly. He grabbed the letter and El let him take it, giving him a guilty look.
“It’s not nothing. It’s what you wanted, right? For the future?”
She knew she was overstepping, that it wasn’t any of her business. But she couldn’t help herself. She was curious. Will was so good at keeping his feelings to himself. It was only when he was begging her to stay with them, that she finally felt like she got to see what he was hiding. Some of it at least.
Will grimaced, shoving the letter into his pocket. “It’s just something I wrote when I was a kid. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“It could mean something. I could write one too. We could make them come true together.”
Will sighed. “El…”
“It could be, what did Max call it? Sibling banding?” She grabbed his hand and smiled sweetly at him.
When he gave another sigh, she knew she had him. “Bonding.” He corrected, running a hand down his face with a groan. “Jesus, why do you even want to do this?”
“Because you’re my brother. We’re family now. And Max said family drives each other crazy sometimes. Normal families anyway. I want to try being normal again.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle a little. That sure did sound like Max. At least the Max he’d gotten to know again when he visited her in the hospital while she recovered.
“Well I won’t stop you.”
“So you’ll help me?”
“Uh, I never said that.”
El frowned. “But you will, won’t you? If we do it together, then maybe we can help each other.”
He gave another heavy sigh. “Write your list first. Then we’ll see.”
She grinned. “Thank you, Will. You’re a good brother.” She declared, before a thought suddenly hit. “Oh! Dinner is ready. I almost forgot.”
He nodded, then followed her out the room.
Downstairs, Hopper sat at the table, while his mom finished pulling something out of the oven. With Jonathan away at college, it was one less mouth to feed. But Will still felt his absence keenly.
“You forget to tell ‘im?” He asked El as she helped Will to set the table.
“We were talking. Then we lost track of time.” She replied, sharing a secretive smile with Will.
“Yeah? About what?”
El and Will exchanged looks. She raised a questioning eyebrow. He sighed, but soon nodded.
“You two know I can still see you, right?”
Will gave him an embarrassed smile. “Yeah, sorry. We just…I found something I wrote back when you guys rescued me from the Upside Down. A list of things I wanted to do in the future.”
Joyce set the roast on the table. “Well that sounds interesting. What was on the list?”
He ducked his head, then took his seat. “It’s nothing. Just stupid kid stuff.”
El swatted his arm. “It’s not nothing. It was sweet. He wanted to get a job so you and Jonathan didn’t have to work so much anymore.” She informed them.
Joyce held a hand over her mouth. Behind her fingers she was smiling, even as tears pricked at her eyes. “Is that true?” She asked him softly.
Will groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “It’s nothing Mom, Jesus. There were other things on there. Like buying stuff. That’s probably why it was on there.”
“Oh, honey…” Joyce trailed off, then moved behind him to wrap her arms around him. She ignored his halfhearted complaints, knowing they were all for show.
Hopper watched the two hug, then happened to catch El’s eye. She gave him a fond smile, moving to wrap her own arms around him.
“I’m going to make a list too. Then we can do it together.” She informed him.
“You want a job too?”
El shrugged.
“Maybe a job would be good for both of them,” Joyce said. Finally pulling away from Will, much to his relief. His cheeks were still flushed when he and El began serving themselves. “They can use it to save up for college.”
Hopper scowled. The whole college thing had become a bit of a touchy subject between him and El. If he had it his way, she’d live with him at least another five years. Understandably, El wasn’t on board with that idea.
“Will’s list had a car too.”
Will shot her a glare. She ignored him. Clearly Max had taught her well.
Hopper sighed. “You’d need a license for that. And lessons.”
“How much will that be?” Will asked, fork halfway to his mouth.
“I’ll look into it.”
Will nodded, then began eating. The others followed suit.
“I can ask around. See if anyone’s hiring,” Joyce said. She helped herself to some mashed potatoes.
“You’re not working with Wheeler,” Hopper added, shooting El a sharp look. “Not on my watch.”
El huffed, but eventually nodded. “We’re not even together anymore,” she grumbled.
“Thank God for that. That goes for you too,” Hopper added, pointing at Will. “No Wheeler.”
Will gaped at him. “What? We’re best friends! You can’t be serious.”
Hopper scowled.
Joyce suddenly laughed. “Of course he isn’t, honey. He’s kidding. Right, Jim?” The look she sent him promised bloody murder if he didn’t agree.
“…Right. I was…kidding.”
He clearly wasn’t.
“Does Mike have a job yet?” Joyce asked.
Will gave Hopper a distrusting look, before shrugging. “Last I heard, he was applying to the pizza place near the video store.”
He tried not to think about when exactly that was. Things between him and Mike had been a little tense. Not exactly surprising when Mike obviously knew he once had a crush on him. Still had a crush on him, if he was being honest. Which really hadn’t helped matters when he and El had finally broken things off for good.
As it turned out, running from monsters and the government for most of their relationship, hadn’t been a great foundation. With those gone, they were both left to realise that actually, El needed time to just be El. Or Jane. Or whatever name she chose for herself in the future.
Will had tried to be there for both. Very aware of how awkward it would be for all of them. El still didn’t know Mike was his Tammy. At least, he didn’t think she knew. But it didn’t really matter. Mike was the one to pull away first. He stopped reaching out and started staying away from them both. Which obviously sucked, but Will couldn’t say he was surprised.
At least Dustin and Lucas were there to try and keep Mike on track. Even if Lucas was splitting his time between Max and everything else, he at least made an effort to check in on Mike. And apparently, Mike and him had been trying to get jobs of their own so they could get their own rides.
Lucas wanted to be able to drive Max around town. With her spending most of her time in a wheelchair, it sure would make things easier for them. As for Mike, well he’d never told Will why he wanted a car of his own. And at this point, he wasn’t sure if he ever would. They were still friends, best friends supposedly. But things just weren’t the same anymore.
“Well, maybe the video store has an opening? Will, that would really suit you. You love movies.”
Will continued chewing, giving a halfhearted shrug. If the others noticed his newly forlorn state, they were kind enough to leave him to it. Likely guessing that Mike was the cause of it. His mom absolutely knew Mike was the one he’d crushed on. But whether Hopper knew remained to be seen.
Conversation soon turned onto other topics. But Will couldn’t stop dwelling on his letter. While he hadn’t cared much that they all knew about it, he knew he could never actually show them it. Especially not that last one. Not when his mom was finally starting to loosen the reins on him a little. Showing her would just set her off all over again. It would just make her worry. He didn’t want that. Especially for something he knew would never change. Not here in Hawkins. No, Will knew all too well that love for him would have to wait until college, if he was lucky.
Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to follow a list of things his twelve year old self had written, right after one of the biggest traumas of his young life? Apparently so. And now he was supposed to help El make a list of her own too.
“Can we do it now?” El asked him once they were done eating. She took his silence as a yes, then started pulling him behind her.
Upstairs, Will just sat and watched as El grabbed some paper and a pen. She turned to him and moved to sit beside him, both cross-legged on her bed.
“What should I write first?”
He shrugged. “Whatever you want. It’s your list.”
She pouted. “It is. But you’re helping me. What was your first one?”
He didn’t want to say it. It was embarrassing, especially now. Especially after whatever was going on between him and Mike. Forget about making new friends, he needed to fix what he had with Mike first.
“Will, please.” El begged, reaching out to place her hand on his knee. “For me?” She even batted her eyelashes.
He groaned. “Remind me to kill Max later,” he grumbled. Then gave a reluctant nod.
El giggled and nodded back. “Sure. But first, tell me.”
“Make new friends.”
She cocked her head, considering it. “That sounds good. Do you…do you think I could?” Her ill fated attempts to make friends back in Lenora weighed heavy on both their minds.
“What’s stopping you now?”
El smiled. “Nothing. Nothing’s gonna stop me anymore.” Then she wrote it down.
Over an hour later, El’s list was complete.
WHAT I WANT:
- Make new friends.
- Get a job.
- Learn how to drive a car.
- Learn how to ride a bike - If the car thing doesn’t work out.
- Learn how to skateboard - Ask Max!
- Buy a car.
- Graduate with my friends. STUDY!
- Get a dog - I don’t really care, but Will wants one. He should have one.
- Find a look that’s me.
- Get a new boyfriend. NOT MIKE!!!
El sat back and read through it. She frowned. Was that everything? It felt like there should be more. But for now, it would have to do. It was already a lot. Maybe too much.
“Do you think it’s okay?” She asked him.
Will sighed, now laid back and staring up at the ceiling. “I said it was okay twenty minutes ago, El.” He reminded her.
She frowned. “You sure?”
He groaned, long and loud, before dissolving into helpless giggles when she jabbed him in his stomach. She started giggling too and fell back to lie beside him. The two continued to stare up at the ceiling for a few moments more, before El finally spoke.
“Thank you. For everything,” she said quietly. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
He blinked, trying to ignore the sting in his eyes. They both knew what she meant. It wasn’t a time he wanted to think back on.
“We’re family. That’s what we do,” he said instead.
Wordlessly, El tilted her head to rest on his shoulder. Then she let out a soft sigh.
“We need to get you a boyfriend.” She declared out of the blue. “I’m gonna talk to Max tomorrow. Maybe she can help.”
Will almost choked, then hastily sat up. El stayed where she was.
“No! Please, no,” he begged.
El finally sat up. “You said we are family. Family help each other. That’s what we do. And Lucas already told Max he thinks he knows a guy who's like you. Maybe he could be your boyfriend. I’ll see her tomorrow. You can come with me if you like?”
He didn’t like. Not even a little bit. You’d think that with everything that had happened to her, Max would have better things to do than fret about her friends’ love lives. But no, with her recovery requiring a lot of bed rest, gossip was often her only source of entertainment. And Will knew this would be too juicy for her to resist.
“Absolutely not. And you can’t tell her about the list. You can’t tell anyone else either. Got it? You gotta promise me, El.”
El considered it. A minute passed. Then two. Will grew tenser as time ticked by. Finally she sighed.
“Fine. But I’m still asking about the boyfriend.”
“…Fine.”
She smirked.