Chapter Text
"Oh boy howdy, that is a clammy one," Taako says, but doesn't pull his hands away. Kravitz tries not to flinch, or blush.
He's never really thought much about his hands, or any other part of his body. He'd died; it makes sense that he would feel cold. He's never been bothered by it, but now it bothers him that it might bother someone else.
Specifically, that it might bother Taako.
Kravitz tries to stay focused on the conversation at hand, because they're talking about important things and Kravitz can't afford to be wasting his attention on things like this. And by the end of hte night, as much as he's enjoying himself, he's a bit relieved to be interrupted.
"There's something here," he tries to explain.
Taako nods eagerly, "I feel it too!"
Fuck. That's adorable, and reassuring, but also not at all what he'd meant. Kravitz knows that he could easily spend the rest of his night here, with Taako, if he'd let himself. But he doesn't.
He excuses himself quickly, but hopes quietly that they'll be able to meet again soon.
-
The thought haunts him long after the date(?) has ended.
Kravitz doesn't exactly have a life outside of work, so he spends more time thinking about it than he would like to admit.
Is he unpleasant to touch? He doesn't know how cold his skin actually is, but he knows that it can't be close to a normal living body temperature.
It's awful. This has never bothered him before -it's just how he works now- but now he can't stop thinking about it all.
Because, goddess forbid, Kravitz actually rather likes Taako. He wants Taako to like him too.
He can't help but feel like he's ruining his own chances by just existing as his present self.
Is it even possible for someone that alive to enjoy the presence of someone like Kravitz?
He doesn't know, but he's not going to give up before he's given himself a chance to find out.
If him touching Taako would be a problem, then all he has to do is avoid touching him. That makes sense, right?
Right.
-
Kravitz shows up on the moon base the next time Taako calls and hopes he doesn't appear too desperate.
He doesn't remove his gloves when he arrives.
Taako doesn't comment on them, despite the fact that dinner is not the most conventional glove-wearing time.
Instead, he talks about the recent adventure he'd been a part of ("we didn't die even once this time!"), and touches Kravitz more liberally than he had previously. Nudging Kravtiz's legs under the table, touching Kravitz's arm while he talks, holding his hand as Kravitz walks him back to his room.
Kravitz can't pin down why. Is it because this was more explicitly a date? Or because of the gloves?
He doesn't know, but he isn't about to ask. Instead, he just decides to count it as a success. As long as Kravitz wears the gloves with his suit, he doesn't have to worry. Taako won't mind touching him, and he might actually have a shot.
-
The gloves work, but gods, Kravitz hates them.
He hates wearing them around Taako. The layer of separation between them; it's deplorable.
He keeps reminding himself that it isn't about him, that they're for Taako, the one with properly functioning sensory processing who can feel the unnatural clamminess of Kravitz's skin.
But as Kravitz sits on the couch with Taako's head in his lap, he wants nothing more than to take them off.
He wants to be able to feel Taako's hair when he runs his fingers through it; wants to feel the warmth of his cheek when he touches him.
But he thinks about the coolness of his skin causing Taako to recoil in discomfort, and he restrains himself.
But oh, he wants, he wants, he wants.
'It isn't about you,' he reminds himself forcefully, and tells Taako "Nothing" when the elf asks what's wrong.
-
When Taako finally asks Kravitz to spend the night, Kravitz goes into a bit of a tail spin.
For one thing, Kravitz has never had a relationship progress this far (not even while he was alive). For another, Kravitz isn't even sure if he can remember how to sleep.
And also, he can't figure out a way to justify wearing gloves to bed.
Taako lends him long sleeves and pants to wear, which helps, but Kravitz just cannot stop thinking about his hands.
In the bed, Taako keeps his distance a bit, and Kravitz supposes that this is as good as it's going to get.
But with the space between them, Kravitz thinks that he might hate his physical form for the first time since regaining it.
The sleeping is its own thing. The first few times they try this, Kravitz can't puzzle it out. But being able to be this close, to speak in hushed whispers or simply bask in his presence, makes it not so bad.
He works it out in the middle of the night one night, and finds that waking up next to Taako is so nice it makes his chest hurt.
That never stops being incredible.
But not being able to touch him never stops being disappointing.