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The House of the Dragon was in a dangerous state. Anyone could see the tension simmering, war was a breath away. In order to grow bonds between the feuding sides of the family, King Viserys decreed they would begin a new tradition of going to the finest establishments in the Seven Kingdoms together.
Pizza Hut.
It went as well as can be expected.
“I am most pleased we can all be gathered here together as one,” Viserys croaked from where he sat, Alicent scowling at him in disgust. “My dear daughter, light of my life, apple of my eye. And the others.” Aegon sniffed loudly. This was the kindest thing his father had ever said to him.
“They have names.” Alicent bit out and Viserys waved her off.
“Yes, yes, Aemma. You are quite right.” He offered a gummy smile, shoulders rattling.
“Alicent.” She responded and Viserys frowned.
“Whomst?”
They were all gathered at the table together. Viserys strapped to the head of the table, with Alicent at the seat next to him. Rhaenyra sat on the other side with her husband-uncle. Huncle? Rhaena sat next to her father, making sure to order as much as she could from his yee old credit card. It's what she deserved. Jace sat grimly at Baela's side as she ordered for the both of them. He liked women who knew what they wanted, even if it was at the cost of his cheesy bread.
“Mushroom would be delightful.” He tried to request the overworked waiter taking their order. He was a growing man and needed a well balanced diet. Westeros needed a healthy king, even at Pizza Hut. It was certainly a safer option than getting shot down over the sea with his dragon.
“No.” Baela replied simply, handing the menu back to the overworked waitress. “Fully loaded meat will do.” She planned to give it to Jace later.
“Very good.” The waiter shot Jace a look of disgust, and Jace looked away in shame. Now how would he get his vegetables? He had shamed Westeros.
“Hello fellow humans.” Otto Hightower greeted as he awkwardly approached the table. Viserys waved at him, one of his rotting fingers falling off and hitting the already crusty floor with a wet flop.
“Otto, who invited you?” Rhaenyra demanded as she placed a slice of pizza on Joffrey's plate, whacking him when he attempted to leap at it.
Otto glared at her as he plopped down in his seat. “Your father wanted me here!” He argued, arms crossed over his chest, and Daemon scowled at him as he loaded his plate.
“No one wants you here.” Little Aegon piped up, and Daemon wiped away a proud tear. They grew up so fast.
“Colorado is here too.” Helaena pointed out as she stole a slice of pizza off Aegon’s plate. Rhaenyra looked up, ready to argue.
“No, I left him in the carriage.” Alicent quickly assured her. Rhaena glanced up from her soda, looking towards the window. Outside the sun was shining, sweltering.
“It's pretty hot out.” She frowned in concern. “Won't he overheat?”
“Who cares.” Helaena whispered.
“I rolled the window down slightly.” Alicent took a sip from her straw.
“You're too good to him.” Rhaenyra sighed with a shake of her head. Alicent blushed prettily, dabbing her lips with a napkin, before noticing her eldest son.
“Aegon, stop deep throating the breadsticks.” Alicent barked, slapping Aegon and on the back of his head and he accidentally choked on it. Both his young children watched him grimly, judging him. Just like their mother.
“Viserys, can you pass the red pepper flakes?” Daemon called from one end of the table. “Viserys!?” Viserys was staring at nothing in particular, offering no response so Daemon screamed his name louder, shriller. Still nothing. Daemon threw a slice of pizza at him and watched it stick against his face before flipping to the floor.
“VISERYS!” Viserys remained still. Rhaenyra dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. She didn't particularly care.
“Viserys you rotting fuck, are you dead?” Alicent pushed her husband’s shoulder and watched as he fell sideways out of his seat with a groan. “He’s fine.” She turned back to her meal. Daemon never got his red pepper flakes.
Lucerys was playing footsies with Aemond under the table, and winked at him when he looked up.
Aemond clenched his jaw and slammed down his soda, sloshing it over the table. Luke twirled a curl of hair between his fingers, winking again.
“Lucerys, what did I tell you about seducing your uncle?” Rhaenyra scolded and Luke looked down in shame. How stupid of him, how childish.
“Show a little ankle.” He murmured softly, ashamed of his foolishness.
“Exactly.” Rhaenyra barked. “Now do as you were taught.”
Luke lifted his leg up in a way that should be painful but wasn't because he had trained his whole life for this moment. He pulled his breeches back just enough to show some ankle, maintaining eye contact with his uncle. Aemond clutched his pearls.
Where did he get those?
Rhaenyra nodded in approval, turning back to Joffrey and snatching a breadstick from his hand and smacking him with it.
“I wish we could invite Daeron to these events.” Helaena sighed wearily and Alicent frowned at her.
“Who?” She asked and Helaena shook her head.
“I do not know.” It was a mystery to her as well.
The waiter returned with Baela's pizza. No vegetables for Jace. He sadly ate what he was offered. Baela shot him a warning look. He better not embarrass him. Not here.
“Here, hide this.” Rhaena hissed, shoving Joffrey's shoulder.
“What is it?” He asked.
“I stole the waiter's wallet” Rhaena offered it to Joffrey who immediately took it, looking through the contents. There were a lot of condoms.
“There's a coupon for Taco Bell in here.” He said, and Helaena immediately snatched it from his hands. The rest of the food was all brought out, the family eating in relative peace for the moment.
“So…” Aegon delicately ran a finger up the side of a breadstick as he watched Rhaenyra. “You come here often?”
“What did I tell you about hitting on your sister?” Alicent hissed as she slammed her plate down on the table. She had been delicately cutting her pizza into small bite size pieces like some sort of psychopath. She would be damned if she let her musty son get into Rhaenyra's skirts. She quickly offered Rhaenyra a bite of pizza, glaring at her son before being distracted as Rhaenyra tucked the pizza sauce off her finger. Alicent’s eyes immediately focused on her.
“What else can that sinning mouth do?” She whispered huskily, urging Rhaenyra to suck on her other finger. Otto shook his head in disapproval. All that sinning in front of his Pizza Hut salad?
This would not do. Aegon flicked an olive towards his sister, watching as it was lost in her cleavage.
“Oh dear me,” he loudly pushed his seat back. “Allow me to get that for you, dear sister.” He grinned at his mother. Checkmate.
“Nonsense,” Alicent waved him off. “I am closer, I can take care of it.” She cast her son a look of vicious glee, putting him back in his place.
Yet it was all for naught.
Daemon was already up and pressing his face down into Rhaenyra's tiddies, licking up the olive.
“My Queen.” He whispered huskily.
“I want another baby.” Rhaenyra replied and Daemon bowed his head.
“Anything for you.” He snatched her up into his arms. “You there! Boy!” He barked at the overworked waiter.
“Yes sir?” The poor man asked nervously as Daemon approached, wife in arms.
“Where's your manager's office?” He was not going to sully his wife in a Pizza Hut bathroom.
Alicent sat down in despair, and began to pray for Daemon's death. Aegon slammed the breadstick down, arms crossing over his chest in a disappointed pout. He never got to do anything.
The rest of the family continued to eat, Jace tried to reach for a slice of Helaena's vegetable pizza but was quickly slapped away as Helaena began to eat viciously. Luke slithered onto Aemond’s lap, offering him a slice as Rhaena continued to look through the poor waiter's wallet. Maybe she would return it, maybe not.
In the car, Cole sat alone. No pizza. No son. No girlfriend. No honor. Just sweaty. He watched someone walk by and immediately began to bark at them.