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“Ya can’t just boss us around!” Raph yelled. Leo was so tired of this routine. Wasn’t it enough that he was leaving for South America tomorrow? Why couldn’t he have a breather for two seconds? And excuse him for wanting control over things, especially when he didn’t have control over himself!
A year should put him in control again. No one to focus on except for himself. No mirrors to see something he hated. No thoughts about men that were not thoughts he should have. No hating his name, because people wouldn’t use it. If it went on long enough, he would feel happy to be called that again! He was just tired of it all.
If Leo was being honest, he really needed this. He wasn’t a good leader right now, as his brothers didn’t respect him. Maybe they should go! Then they would know how much they needed her! Splinter said that it was all her. That he wasn’t… he didn’t deserve…
But a trip to the jungle would make him better. He’d learn what Splinter wanted him to. He just had to avoid Raph.
“Ya think yer so good, don’t ya?” Harder than it sounded. “But yer pathetic!”
Leo sighed. Didn’t Raph get it? He was trying his best! And they wouldn’t get anywhere without him. Raph was weak and temperamental. Leo was level-headed and strong. Raph wouldn’t be alive without him.
“You’re hotheaded, Raph!” Leo shouted. “Of course you need to be led! And I’m the one Splinter chose for a reason!”
“Guys, maybe we could—”
“Shut up, Mikey.” The older two said in unison. Mikey wilted.
“I’m glad yer leaving!” Raph growled. “No one here wants ya anyway!”
“Shut up, Raph! No one here wants you either!”
“That’s not true.” Mikey tried to chime in again but was ignored.
“Leave it, Angelo.” Donnie put his hand on Mikey’s shoulder.
“Yer so prideful!” Raph seethed.
“Look in the mirror, idiot.” Leo was just as angry. Hold it back, Leo. You can’t snap. You’re better than this. You’re better than him.
“SHUT UP!” Donnie yelled. “We’re going home, and I won’t tell Sensei about this unless you keep fighting. Come on, Mikey.”
“Like we’d listen to ya, nerd—”
“Donnie’s right.” Leo cut him off. “Let’s go. We can’t do anything if you’re so worked up.”
“Worked up? Worked up!” Raph shouted. Donnie glared at him.
“Sensei will know about this if you don’t stop.”
Raph shut up after letting one last comment slide. “I mean it when I say won’t miss ya, fearless.” And Leo felt his eyes burn. “I’d be happy if ya never came back.”
Unbeknownst to them, Mikey let out a near inaudible breath at the silence, after holding it in for a while. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks, concealed by the darkness.
Bonus:
Raph had been right. They were happy that he hadn’t come back. A week into his second year—the one he wasn’t supposed to have—no one came. He was sick. Vomiting, passing out, nearly dying type sick. He waited for them to come. He needed them. He wanted them so, so much. He couldn’t write, but that was fine! If he didn’t write, surely they would come. Surely they would be worried.
They’ll find me. They will, they love me. They won’t leave me.
But after a couple weeks there was no sign from his family. No one came to look for him, even if they knew where he was. The specific area, even. They didn’t care. He would come find them if they were a week late, let alone an entire month. At first he thought that they might be hurt… but he soon realized that it was because they didn’t want him. That they probably never did. He stopped writing, not until he had something worth writing. Some new discoveries. Something that would make him worthy enough to come back.
His mission had been to learn something.
He had no idea what.
He needed to stay until she learned it.
She needed to stay until she was someone worth looking for.