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Sonic stands in front of his bathroom mirror, one finger dyed red from blood he didn't wash out on time poking at the fresh bandages wrapped around his stomach. A particularly harsh touch has him hissing, watching for a couple seconds to make sure he isn't going to suddenly start bleeding everywhere or something. Nothing happens so he puts his gloves back on.
It wasn't anything crazy that happened. An ambush from Eggman, same as ever but with some sharper badniks than usual. In the middle of demolishing a wave of them he began to lose his patience. His memory of the middle of it all is hazy, but in the end he remembers watching Eggman flee the destruction before he realized one must've swiped at him at some point. He went home, shoddily patched up the gash and whatever other minor scratches he could see, and then went straight to bed. He had only just now woken up and had the awareness to do a better job taking care of it.
His hands hold the porcelain of his sink while he stares down at it. Thinking back, he's pretty sure he wasn't the only one fighting Eggman. It's probably not a good sign that he doesn't remember who specifically, maybe he got a concussion too. That would suck. He had gotten pretty reckless during the battle too, did he go too far? Attempting to search his brain for more information gives him barely anything more than glimpses of slamming into metal and sliding across asphalt.
A blur of black and red crosses his mind. There. There's only one person that could be.
Knowing turns out not to be helpful. Now there's the worry that something might've happened that he can't remember and he's going to start getting twitchy. The door creaks as Sonic opens it to step out and wander over to the couch, vaulting over the back and laying across it. He vaguely remembers tossing his communicator into the cushions when he got home. The sound of what might be a blowtorch is coming from the back of the house where Tails is undoubtedly working, and he lets it take up most of his brain while his hands start inching around trying to find it.
He isn't even sure if he will call Shadow, or if he wants to at all. What if he doesn't want to hear from him? What if something really bad happened and now they'll never talk ever again. It's completely irrational, stupid even, but he's very sure something during that fight pissed him off and maybe he went too far somehow. Metal, pointed, tearing through skin. A fist colliding with the wrong target. Every little piece he has in his brain just screams angry and reckless and violent. It's not avoidable when you're fighting big evil robots all the time, but he tries not to be too much of any of those things. Except for the recklessness. Try as his friends might to get him to be more careful, getting himself hurt doesn't bother him when there's more important things at hand, and the "more important things" happen to be everything else always. That's just how it works.
He's been laying and stewing in his thoughts long enough that he doesn't notice his little brother's presence until a blanket is thrown over his head, laughter reaching his ears as he scrambles to free himself. Sonic balls it up and tosses it back to Tails, who catches it expertly with a smile.
"You working on something cool in there?"
"Sort of. It's mostly just light upgrades. You've been making the face you make when you think something's wrong."
Leave it to Tails to not let Sonic disregard his own brain in favor of asking what 'light upgrades' could possibly require a blowtorch. He huffs, "I don't have a face that I make?"
"You do. It's like this-" Tails frowns and furrows his brow, eyes dramatically big, obviously exaggerating. Sonic ruffles his hair and listens to him laugh again. Now that he's sitting up he finally reaches into the couch properly and pulls out his communicator.
"Were you there yesterday? When I was dealing with Eggman again?"
Tails shakes his head. "Nope, you told me you could handle it. Shadow was with you, though. You don't remember?"
"Forgot. I might've hit my head or something, I dunno. I'm good though, aside from all this." He gestures to the bandages that were already visible to Tails, who doesn't say anything when he turns around but Sonic can tell he's stepping into the kitchen to grab an ice pack for his head.
"Just in case." He says as he brings it back and places it in Sonic's lap, who in turn takes it to place on his head. "Are you just worried because you forgot what happened?"
Sonic doesn't feel like elaborating on the heavier aspects of his concerns, so he just nods. "Something like that."
Tails taps his chin, a little thing he always does before he offers an idea. "You could go ask him about it then? If he's not busy, I'm sure he'd just tell you if you asked."
It sounds easy when he says it, but the more Sonic thinks about it the more difficult it feels. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself if all his catastrophizing turned out to be right. He's caught between wanting to avoid confronting Shadow and wanting to avoid making his brother worry about him as much as he's worrying about Shadow.
Tails is tossing the blanket back on him. He must've been making the face again. "I think it'll be okay if you talk to him, Sonic."
---
He's tapping his foot so fast he wonders if he'll start making a hole in the ground if he keeps standing here. He ended up caving and asking Shadow if he could meet up with him. They're meeting at a nearby park instead of either of their places. Sonic's grateful for the decision. Impulsively he stopped by a convenience store on the way over and picked up two sodas too, anything to make this meet-up feel a little more normal and less like he was about to face some frightening truth that he knows deep down is probably not the truth and in fact a really ridiculous and baseless concern. The thought of his memories of torn up wreckage hiding an attack towards someone he considers a friend overpowers logic.
Shadow appears over the hill at the entrance of the park. He has a bandage taped by his ear like something nicked him, and he looks a little more tired than he normally does, but besides that he looks fine. Sonic wordlessly hands him the soda can left unopened.
"Oh. Thank you. You wanted to see me?"
That's true, so Sonic nods. Now that he's here, he doesn't know what to say and it's making him feel stupid. Shadow's fine, physically at least. If asked about his mental state the answer tends to be up in the air. They have that in common.
He almost turns around and walks away never to explain himself but he feels like wasting Shadow's time like that would be almost evil of him. He starts stumbling through his words instead. "Yeah, just because, like, what went on when we fought against Eggman yesterday, I just wanted to check in, y'know?"
Shadow doesn't look like he's scrutinizing him, but he is tilting his head while he fidgets with his rings. "It went about the same as it normally does."
"Great! Cool! You didn't get hurt or anything?"
"Not particularly bad this time, no."
"And not because of me? I didn't hurt you?" He wasn't planning on asking outright like that. Okay.
It makes Shadow pause. "No? You've never done that before."
Sonic's eyes are darting from his face to the side like he can't decide what to look at. He feels like as soon as his eyes settle one way he's just going to break into a sprint, but he might fuck up and slam straight into Shadow. And then his fear would be real in the most embarrassing way possible. He might have to let Eggman obliterate him next time.
"I mean, it's something that could happen, I know I kind of go overboard sometimes, or I get angry, I don't know."
"You did seem kind of pissed off, but nothing happened." Shadow speaks very plainly, like none of it's a big deal at all. Sonic doesn't know whether to feel reassured or more like he might be losing it. "It's not a big deal if you were."
"I could've hurt you, though. I could get really mad and hurt you." Speaking it makes his brain form pictures. A wounded figure. Bloodied gloves.
"Yes, so?" Shadow looks down, "That can be dealt with. You're a good person, I don't think you'd do that without explanation."
The silence after he says it sits long enough for Shadow to look up. He looks surprised him to see Sonic extremely conflicted, eyes off Shadow entirely and instead aimed at the opening of the can he's holding while his brow twitches.
"You're serious?"
"Yes?"
"That I'm a good person. You actually mean that?"
"Yes, I usually mean what I say, you know that."
"I do, but..." He's at a loss for the right words. "It's weird."
Shadow's brow furrows. "How do you mean?"
A cool breeze blows by and Sonic shivers. His soda can isn't empty but he's started to rip off the tab, planning on dropping it in and shaking it around, like the rattling will do something for him. "It just feels..Not true. When people say that. I kind of don't like it."
"Sonic, I think a lot of people are being genuine when they say you're a good person."
"They don't even know me. You know me, and you're watching me freak out right now."
"And that's fine."
"And that's fine???"
Sonic can see the incredulity on Shadow's face. His own similar feelings are starting to make his head hurt. He doesn't even know why it bothers him so much, why he feels so much like it can't be true, like he's so undeserving of that label that someone handing it to him feels like they're making a terrible mistake.
His hands went to his head at some point. His claws might be threatening to poke into him if they aren't already. Blurry vision catches Shadow pulling them away, lacing his own fingers between Sonic's to hold them gently. He imagines himself pushing them away and his claws catching beneath dark fur and drawing blood and he sways, dizzy and scared. And then they're sitting.
Shadow is still in front of him, legs crossed. "One minute, Sonic, breathe." They both breathe. He regains the feeling in his arms he didn't realize he'd been losing while Shadow periodically squeezes his hands. Rocks in the pavement are definitely making dents in the flesh of his calves. He looks up to see the side of Shadow's head. The sun is right behind his head as it sets and it frames it in a way that almost steals the breath he just got back. He just starts to squint.
Shadow's eyes flick back to him, catching the movement. "Is it the sun?"
"Uh-huh," Sonic nods and it helps with the faint feeling as it leaves, "it's right in my eyes."
"We can move if it's hurting you."
"No, that's okay." He turns his head away. His chest is heavy with his embarrassment. He sees both of their soda cans sitting upright on the ground. Shadow must have grabbed his when he started clutching his own skull. "I shouldn't have freaked out like that."
"You're worried about hurting people. That's not a bad thing, but I did mean what I said."
Sonic doesn't say he believes it. He still sees a world where something did happen; it feels like it comes in flashes if he lets his mind wander for too long. A deep breathe in and a glance at the hands he's holding, intact and free of blood, are reassuring to an extent.
"I'm glad you're okay. And that nothing happened."
"Nothing happened. I'm okay and you're okay." His eyes flick to the bandages. "Somewhat okay."
It gets a laugh out of Sonic. "Yeah, somewhat.."
After another moment it's been long enough that the sun has finished setting; it's dark out aside from the couple nearby street lights turned on. They both stand back up, a pair of hands still holding each other while Shadow's free hand hovers in case Sonic's injuries decide to strike him and make him keel over.
"Dude, did you even drink the soda I gave you?"
"No. I'm not a fan of citrus flavored drinks, sorry."
"No worries, I'll pick up something different next time we hang out."
Shadow hums. "I have drinks in my fridge right now."
It's an invitation. Sonic's hand is already in his, and he likes the idea of it staying that way for a while longer, so he accepts it. It's a reminder that they're okay that ends up lasting the entire night. They fall asleep on Shadow's couch.