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The house is quieter than either of them is used to.
Christopher is spending the weekend with the Wilson’s. Something about a new game Denny had and how they ‘had to work on the campaign together, dad, in person!’ So the Wilson’s are hosting this time, and Eddie gets to host next time.
He’s already roped Buck into helping.
With Chris out of the house, Buck took it upon himself to come over and share a six pack with Eddie on the couch. The television is on, muted, casting soft blue light across the living room, but neither Buck nor Eddie have paid attention to it in nearly twenty minutes.
Instead, Buck stands in the kitchen doorway, arms folded, watching Eddie dry the last coffee mug before setting it in the cabinet. But he has his back to him, so Eddie doesn’t see the way Buck gears himself up to speak.
"You know," Buck says, breaking the silence, "you've been avoiding me all week." His voice is soft, not wanting to break the tranquility of the house.
Eddie doesn’t turn around. Instead, he heaves a sigh and closes his eyes in frustration.
Buck’s not lying is the thing. He has been avoiding him, though perhaps not for the reasons Buck thinks. He’s only been back from Texas for a handful of weeks, and in that time he’s come to find his feelings for Buck aren’t exactly as platonic as he thought.
Or as heterosexual.
So he’s been avoiding Buck in fear that one too fond look will send him hurling up all his feelings.
"I've been working," he shrugs, words rushing out too fast to be believable. Then he winces. What a shitty excuse, they work in the same fucking place at the same fucking time.
He knows Buck doesn’t believe it for a second, but that belief is cemented when Buck scoffs, "bull!"
Despite being caught in a lie a small smile tugs at Eddie's lips. "You can always tell when I’m hiding something. You know how annoying that is?" he mutters.
Buck’s response is not something Eddie expects. It’s too revealing. "I can always tell with you."
Eddie freezes in place when he hears it, his heart fluttering in his ribcage. He closes the cabinet a little more carefully than necessary before finally turning to face Buck.
He hasn’t moved from where he leans against the doorframe. His arms are still crossed, making his biceps look fucking huge. He has one leg crossed over the other, and his brow is raised as he waits for a response.
There’s something different about the way he’s looking at Eddie. Less guarded. More hopeful. More afraid?
Eddie gives a self depreciating laugh before he speaks. "You ever think-" Eddie asks quietly, looking anywhere but Buck’s eyes "-that maybe we're both terrible at saying what we actually mean?"
Buck laughs under his breath too. "Only every day."
There’s another beat of silence. The sound of the clock ticking rattles through him. The hum of the fridge has never been louder.
Eddie’s brows furrow. "I mean it," he continues. "We dance around everything."
Buck's smile fades, then he nods. "I know."
Eddie wrings his hands together as he speaks. "We almost lose each other every year-"
Buck bites his tongue so hard he tastes blood. "I know," he says again.
Eddie continues on, sounding more and more annoyed, but seemingly only with himself. "We're there for everyone else, for each other, before we're there for ourselves."
"I know…"
Eddie takes a slow, shaky breath.
“I think-” he says, taking a small, hesitant step closer, “- that we should put ourselves first for once?” he says, but it comes out more like a question.
Buck pulls away from the doorframe to stand up straight. “I agree,” he says.
“We- we should start taking what we want. Before it’s too late and we lose the chance,” he says, his voice a mere whisper. He’s closer to Buck now, having to look up to meet his eyes.
Buck takes a breath, equally as shaky as Eddie’s, as he says “life’s too short to waste it missing chances.”
Eddie nods, and his words are resolute, no hint of hesitation, as he whispers, "You're who I want to come home to every night."
The words settle between them. Eddie’s eyes dart back and forth between Buck’s, looking for a reaction.
Buck just stares at him. His eyes flutter shut, devastation written across his face as he groans. "You can't just say something like that."
Eddie shakes his head, then asks "Why not?"
Frustration leaks from Buck’s voice as he speaks. "What am I supposed to do with it?" he asks, his voice cracking with emotion around each word.
Eddie's expression is almost painfully vulnerable. "I was hoping you'd tell me," he says.
Buck elects not to give him an answer. They sit in silence for a moment as Buck seems to process. They’re standing so close that Eddie can feel Buck’s breath on his face, and he’s sure if he focussed enough he’d be able to feel the heat coming from him too.
"So that's what this has been?" Buck asks.
Eddie’s brows furrow in confusion again. "What?"
Buck’s responding smile should have been enough of an answer for him. "The looks."
Eddie feels his face flush and has to look down with a sheepish smile, unable to hold eye contact any longer.
"...Maybe." he says, his voice trailing off.
Buck continues on. "The unnecessary hugs?"
Eddie guffaws. "They weren't unnecessary," he argues.
Apparently Buck has a rapsheet of Eddie’s behaviour, because the list continues. "The way you keep finding excuses to put your hand on my shoulder every five minutes."
Eddie pouts, "I wasn't counting."
Buck’s words are certain as he says, "I was."
Their eyes meet again, and the teasing disappears as quickly as it had come. Buck reaches up slowly, giving Eddie every chance to step away. He doesn’t.
Instead, Eddie leans into the touch, almost without thinking. Buck's fingers rest lightly against the side of his face, his thumb brushing over the faint stubble along Eddie's jaw.
"Do you have any idea," Buck murmurs, "how long I've wanted to do this?"
Eddie let out a shaky breath. "I like to think I do." Buck smiles, and it’s so radiant it’s practically blinding.
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve imagined this?” Eddie asks, bringing his own hand up to hold onto Buck’s waist.
"Were any of them accurate?" he asks, nudging incrementally closer.
Eddie shakes his head, and his nose brushes against the tip of Buck’s as he does. "They didn't even come close."
The space between them has vanished. Buck can feel Eddie's breath fanning against his face.
Can see the tiny crease between his eyebrows that only appears when he’s nervous. The beauty mark under Eddie’s eye is even prettier up close.
He thinks he can hear both of their hearts pounding in the quiet of the house. He can certainly hear the blood rushing in his ears.
"Tell me to stop," Buck whispers, more of a question than anything.
Instead of answering, Eddie lifts a hand from Buck’s waist and curls his fingers gently around the back of Buck's neck. The invitation and intent is clear. Buck takes the once in a lifetime opportunity while he can.
He closes the distance between them eagerly. The first kiss is gentle—almost questioning. Unsure as they wade through unfamiliar waters.
Their lips brush together in a slow, tentative meeting that lasts only a moment before they pull apart.
Neither of them speak.
Buck simply searches Eddie's face, silently asking. Asking if that was okay. If they can do it again. If they can do it forever.
Eddie answers by leaning in again.
The second kiss carries weeks, months, maybe years of unspoken longing. Unfiltered passion as their tongues tangle.
It’s slower than either of them expect, but infinitely more intense. More intimate, in ways that have Eddie’s heart hammering so hard he’s sure it’s going to burst out of his chest.
It’s perfect. It’s them
Buck’s lips are soft against Eddie’s, a gentle brush that has him groaning.
Buck's hand slides carefully from Eddie's jaw to the back of his neck, squeezing slightly before holding him steady. There’s only certainty in his touch, rather than urgency. They have all the time in the world right now, what need is there to rush?
Eddie's fingers tighten slightly against Buck's shirt, gathering the fabric to ground himself. They linger together when they pull apart for a breath, smiling briefly against each other's lips before they lean again.
Buck laughs softly when Eddie smiles into the kiss. It’s so wide, so bright, that they can’t continue kissing. Eddie can’t help but laugh too.
"You smiling?" Buck asks, his voice a gentle whisper.
Eddie rolls his eyes, but his voice is wet as he says "Shut up."
Giddy glee fills Buck’s chest "You are! You’re so smiley right now!" he says, a teasing lilt to his voice.
Eddie scoffs, "I blame you."
Buck nods, a faux solemn look overtaking his face. "You usually do,” he says, shrugging.
Eddie rolls his eyes again, though the fondness in them gives him away completely. "And am I ever wrong?"
Buck answers by kissing him again. This time there’s no hesitation. Just a radiant warmth. Familiarity. Finality.
Eddie can’t help but sigh in relief against his mouth. This kiss is shorter than the others, simply a toll to distract Eddie, he’s sure.
But it certainly works.
When they finally draw apart, neither of them step back. Instead, their foreheads come to rest together.
Buck smiles first. "So..." he says, his voice trailing off. There’s a pout on his lips, but undeniable excitement in his eyes.
Eddie huffs out a quiet laugh. "So."
Buck snorts a laugh. "Took us long enough, huh?"
Eddie shakes his head with a grin. "Yeah, but we’re here now, so who cares?"
Buck gives an over-exaggerated gasp, his eyes sparkling as he says “Hey, that should be our motto,” with joy flooding his chest.
Eddie’s responding giggle is light. His eyes crinkle shut in the way Buck loves.
Then, with the ease of two people who have always found their way back to each other, Buck steals one more lingering kiss—soft enough to make Eddie smile into it, certain enough to promise this was only the beginning.