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Sang-Froid

Summary:

The Union of Villainous Minions learns of the new Most Powerful Evil in town.

Notes:

Not all of these fics have the actual word of the day in them, but they are certainly inspired by the word. The Word of the Day on Dictionary.com on Thursday, December 9, 1999 was SANG-FROID – coolness of mind; calmness; composure.

Work Text:

Vincent Crabbe had been planning on spending the day in Diagon Alley with his best friend, Gregory Goyle, without that idiot Malfoy boy hanging around.  The majority of those outside Slytherin thought that Vince and Greg were all muscle and no brain, but those in Slytherin knew the truth.  If Greg and Vince didn’t have to spend so much time doing Malfoy’s homework for him, their grades would be much higher, and Malfoy’s would be at the bottom of the class.

Instead of spending the day with Greg in the Alley, however, the second Vince stepped out of the floo to the cauldron, Greg grabbed hold of his arm and right back towards the floo.

“What’s going on?” Vince asked.

“Union business,” Greg said, setting the floo to the ‘Union of Villainous Minions, Junior Chapter’ building.

The normal welcome witch, dressed in her usual black leather ensemble, greeted the two of them, “Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle, welcome to the Junior Chapter of the Union of Villainous Minions.  How may the Union help you today?”

“Our contract is in danger of failing,” Greg said.

“What?” Vince and the woman asked at the same time.

“Explain now,” the woman snarled.  Vince shivered, glad that the woman wasn’t looking at him, but Greg managed to keep his composure.

“The Union of Villainous Minions only allows its members to serve the Most Powerful Evil,” Greg started to explain.

That was the reason the Union had sided with the Malfoys after Voldemort’s fall, and then Voldemort after his resurrection.  Vince and Greg had remained assigned to that idiot Draco after Voldemort’s resurrection because Voldemort had no heir and Lucius Malfoy was still his top lieutenant.

“And the Most Powerful Evil is currently the Dark Lord Voldemort,” the witch said.

“Yesterday, perhaps,” Greg allowed.  “However, there is a new contender in the ring now – the Dark Lord Stormageddon.”

“Never heard of him,” the witch said, “so he couldn’t possibly be a contender.”

“You’d think,” Greg said, “but the Dark Lord Stormageddon is currently more commonly known as Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, and the defeater of the Dark Lord Voldemort.”

The witch and Vince both gaped at him.

“Potter’s become a Dark Lord?” Vince asked, surprised.

“Indeed,” Greg said.  “One of the Union of Heroic Minions, Lesser-Hero, Thievery Division members was informing Light Lord Dumbledore of Potter’s decision when I happened to overhear him.”

“Excellent spy work, Mr. Goyle,” the witch said.  “You may be heading to the Intelligence Division after you come of age.  I’ll pass this on to our higher ups and we’ll contact the Dark Lord Stormageddon immediately.”

“Thank you,” Greg said, dragging Vince by the arm back through the floo to the Leaky Cauldron.

“Potter’s really become a Dark Lord?” Vince asked again.  Several people suddenly became interested in the tables, walls, newspapers, and magazines in front of them, doing their best to pretend they weren’t listening to every word.

“Of course,” Greg said.  “Why else would the Union of Villainous Minions contact him?  Now, let’s get to the Alley.  There’s a few books I’d like to pick up.”

Greg and Vince disappeared through the back door, and instantly several people ran for the floo.  The word would be spread – Potter really was a Dark Lord, or the Union of Villainous Minions wouldn’t have bothered to contact him.  After all, everyone knew the Unions were deadly serious about their business.