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“Oh dear,” Dumbledore said, when the floo connection closed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before grabbing his own floo powder and contacting Moody. The paranoid man arrived in his office and made the usual sweep before sitting down in one of the chairs.
“So, what am I here for?” Moody asked, gruffly. “A Death Eater needs taken down? An enemy stronghold in need of destroying? A reputation or two to ruin, perhaps?”
“None of the above, I’m afraid Alastor, my boy.” Dumbledore ignored Moody’s grumbling and continued, “I need you to go to Privet Drive and relieve Dung Fletcher.”
Moody groaned, “Don’t tell me that fool’s left his post again.”
“Temporarily yes, but for a good reason. A terrible truth has been brought to light.”
Dumbledore stared at Moody.
Moody stared at Dumbledore.
Several minutes went by.
Finally Moody slammed his hand on Dumbledore’s desk, “Well!? Are you going to tell me the terrible truth or not!?”
“Of course,” Dumbledore said, gazing authoritatively over his glasses at Moody. “Harry Potter…has decided…to become…a DARK LORD!”
“Not that I blame him. Order never gets to do anything fun like killin’ or blowin’ people up,” Moody grumbled.
“What was that?” Dumbledore asked.
“Nothing,” Moody said quickly.
There was another long silence, and then –
“D’you want me to go kill Potter?” Moody asked, sounding hopeful.
“No, no,” Dumbledore said, waving his hand through the air. “We must bring him back to the Light and allow him to redeem himself, just like we will do to Tom and his friends. By the way, did you know there’s a new way to say friend? Dung told me of it earlier – butt-buddies, I believe he called it.”
“So, if I don’t get to kill him, why am I here?” Moody asked.
“I need you to go relieve Dung, as I said,” Dumbledore said. “He’s a bit frightened of Harry now that he’s a Dark Lord, and requested you to replace him on guard duty as soon as possible. Just go and watch Harry and tell me what he does, so I can find out how much he needs to be redeemed before he returns to the Light.”
Moody pouted. He never got to have any fun.