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007e7 lives in the gentrified part of the city, with absorbent prices and oddly clean streets. 007n7 only knows this because of Builderman, as another effort to get into 007n7's good graces, finding 007e7's address for him. He also offered to find out other things, but 007n7 thought it was too invasive for his liking. The amount of information Builderman has on every person in Robloxia is unnerving.
He knew that man. He cohabitated with that man. He watched that man live and die over and over again.
It makes 007n7's skin crawl.
He tries not to think about it when 007e7 is in reach. Builderman had also dropped him and c00lkidd off at 007e7's apartment complex via helicopter, right after offering to buy him a place and give him too much money to be legal, and successfully gifting him a phone. 007n7 only accepted the phone to keep in touch with the rest. Or attempt to. He considered the money and the place, for c00lkidd's sake, but quickly decided against it to stick with his morals. The idea of being in debt to Builderman is nauseating. He's not at rock bottom; there's no need to compromise yet.
007e7 is the only person 007n7 will turn to, but he doesn't know if 007e7 is willing. 007e7 let 007n7 crash with him all those years ago, right after 007n7 graduated from college. The market was bad and 007e7 was kind and 007n7 was firmly not, but 007e7 let him in anyway. This did not last, as all of 007n7's relationships back then didn't, and they hadn't talked since.
He never met c00lkidd. He never met this version of 007n7.
Is he still bitter? Has he forgotten?
Does he know what happened to him?
007n7 doesn't know.
He knows he hasn't forgotten 007e7's face when they fought, exhausted and frustrated, trying to reason with 007n7. 007n7 remembers his own rationale, stupid as it was.
c00lkidd is sleeping, exhausted from the trip and from their reunion. 007n7 lets him ride piggyback style on 007n7's back, even if his bones complain. Just like they used to. He only survives because c00lkidd is scarily thin, even more than before. His bones press into 007n7's back, every single rib clear, distending his bright red skin.
Thank God for elevators.
The c00lgui, outdated as it is, still lets 007n7 hack into basic security. The landlord must be lazy enough to not update their security software, given that a washed up hacker like him can get in the building so easily. Granted, 007n7 did break out of The Spectre's realm, so a residential building is a cakewalk in comparison.
He hums nervously, hearing c00lkidd's snores in his ear and the whirs of the elevator's pully mechanism. 007e7 lives on the seventh floor. Funny coincidence.
The door opens with an ominous chime. The hallways are pristine, painted pure, stainless white, like a hospital. Smells like one too. Unlike a hospital, it's eerily quiet. It's comforting. Purgatory was loud, either with the sound of people or of blood spilling. Silence meant death or solitude, things 007n7 had grown to resent more and more.
Here, silence means nothing. It's not something to grieve over, because the night is temporary here.
007n7's footsteps interrupt the delicate quiet. He wonders how much the world has changed. The remaining admins had held down the fort well enough, though there had been an increase in hacking. Nothing dangerous though, nothing 1x1x1x1 level, since the more serious threats had been taken as well. He's sure modern day hacking is much more impressive than any from his time. More destructive too, perhaps.
He shuts down that train of thought, right as he finds the apartment he's looking for.
Apartment No. 702. Seven, as in the floor he stands on. Seven, as in Zero Zero Seven E Seven, if that's still his name. Seven, as in Zero Zero Seven N Seven, the man staring at the plaque on the door, and as in Zero Zero Seven C Seven, the child on his back.
He wouldn't blame 007e7 if he didn't want to see 007n7 again. Maybe he goes by a different name, with a different life. 007n7 wants to find out for himself, instead of through an informant. It will sting. He braces himself, but he's still reeling from having his son again that disappointment could only take a fraction of his joy away.
He thinks that, but deep down, he knows he couldn't bare to see 007e7's disappointed face again, knowing that he earned it.
007n7 shakes his head and knocks on the door. It's late. Maybe 007e7's asleep. He doesn't remember his sleeping habits. 007n7 stayed up late and woke up later, but 007e7 wasn't much of a stickler about that. He thinks. 007n7 doesn't remember much about their time living together if he's being honest. Only their final argument.
Only 007e7, upset with him for good reason, closing the door on their relationship for the next decade. That's all.
007n7 is jolted out of his memories by the door creaking open. Pretty loudly, loud enough where 007n7 hopes that the neighbors can't here. c00lkidd stirs a little.
"n7?"
And all those worries disappear.
"Hey...?"
007e7 looks different. He still wears the same hat, a red hat with a black duck resting on top. It looks a bit worn out, like 007n7's own, but it's still there. That's enough proof of his goodwill.
(They bought those hats together. 007a7 was also there, but he bought some kind of VR headset. That friendship never had an explosive ending, more a slow dissolution once 007n7 left for college. Unanswered messages and unfulfilled plans, on both sides. Mostly 007n7's.)
007e7's eyelids are heavy, his eyebags more so. He has some stubble on his chin, while his hair is cropped short. It's scruffy, the same brown as 007n7's own. He's wearing a dress shirt, with a few undone buttons revealing pale skin. Considerably paler than 007n7 remembers.
He's also quite thin. 007n7's figure had changed, filling out to be a quintessential "dad bod", a change he couldn't decide if he hated or appreciated. 007e7 seemed to have gone through the opposite. In fact, 007n7 thinks he was well built before. He's not anymore. 007e7 bares his teeth, and the gums are notably dark.
He smells a bit like smoke.
"You- You can't be real. you're dead."
007n7 tries not to laugh. "I think I'm real."
"You died. I saw your coffin get lowered to the ground! Who are you? You look nothing like him!"
That answers one question. 007e7 doesn't look much like himself either, resembling a rabid animal, shaking and gasping while flinging accusations with a crooked finger. His eyes are wide and watery.
"It's been ten years man, of course I look different." He keeps his voice flat, trying not to stress 007e7 out even more, but it doesn't do much to help.
"Stop- stop- you can't..." 007e7 laughs to himself. "I drank too much again. Fucking Telamon, what is- what is wrong with me?"
"Again?" 007n7 can't stop himself from asking.
"C-Can't you just leave me alone? Please, I'm sorry, I'm-"
007n7 grabs 007e7's hands. They're soft, but so cold, and 007n7 tries not to flinch.
"007e7, It's me. Your cousin. In the flesh."
"007n7..."
"Yeah."
007e7 seems to sober up slightly, his gaze focusing on 007n7's face. He stares at him like he's trying to commit 007n7 to memory, like they will never see each other again. It's a kind of intensity 007n7 is not used to. He squirms.
"Of course, you wear the same glasses, even though you thought they were stupid... and your hat..." He tries to reach up to touch it, but refrains.
"Some things stay the same, some change. I mean, you look different too."
"I do, don't I..." 007e7 looks down at himself and his nose scrunches. His eyes flit up to meet 007n7's and he rolls back his shoulders. "You should come in. The neighbors- they won't complain if I don't complain, but still."
"You don't...?"
"I smoke... and they can make as much sound as they want."
"Oh." Ew.
007e7 smiles shakily and ushers 007n7 in.
The apartment is small, as all apartments in the city are. It's relatively empty. Minimalistic, if it was intentional. Off-white walls in a barley-lived in home, at least from what 007n7 can see in the dark. 007e7 flicks a light on and they both flinch.
"Ignore the mess."
"Come on, do you know who you're talking to? You had to yell at me to pick up my shit all the time."
"...Ha, yeah."
007e7 frowns. He visibly searches his memory, a sight that comes dangerously close to breaking 007n7's heart. He turns away.
They shuffle awkwardly through the apartment, almost like a tour or sorts, with 007n7 scrutinizing every detail. Not entirely to judge, but to see signs of life. There's not many, supporting his earlier assumption. The walls are yellower than 007n7 thought, so different from the walls in the hallway. The rooms smell like a facsimile of fresh laundry, courtesy of air fresheners plugged into the outlets. All the furniture is in black or grey, revealing the dust and hiding any stains. There's a large pile of dishes in the sink, surrounded by old takeout boxes. A bottle of wine sits on the table in the living room, half empty. Throughout the whole living space are ash trays and cigarettes. They end up in the living room again, standing and looking at anything but each other.
"You do have, uh, interesting scenery," 007n7 says, referring to a shelf with a decent amount of scantily clad anime figures. The kind of stuff college student 007n7 would drool over, unironically. It feels a bit silly now. He sold his own meager collection for baby formula, along with his video games and other pieces of technology that were meaningless compared to his child.
"Yeah, uh... I was bored?" 007e7 is sheepish, but 007n7
"Too much free time, huh."
007e7 does not catch the sarcasm. Maybe he's ignoring it. It was unwarranted, but 007n7 cannot quell the part of him that still wants to see things burn. The resentful side of him.
They don't sit, though 007e7 looks like he needs a seat with how pale and winded he looks. 007n7 still has c00lkidd on his back. c00lkidd didn't get any sleep on the helicopter. He's always been a light sleeper, a fact that has stayed the same. At least some things about his son stay the same.
007e7 looks to him, trembling.
"I-I saw your body on the news... did you fake your death? Was that one of your, uh, clones, or whatever they are?" He grimaces at that, something haunted crossing over his face.
007n7 makes a face, but he's shocked. He really shouldn't be, but it hurts to think that 007e7 doesn't think he changed. The asshole from back then very well might have faked his death at some point, to avoid some very deserved charge or any sort of consequence for his actions.
He also shouldn't be shocked that they showed the dead body. Of course they want to profit off of his breakdown. Who wouldn't? He's sure that paid for the entire production team's salary. He's sure the profit was ten times his wages, and it all went to people who hated him and his son.
Maybe he should have killed himself somewhere else. Popped some pills instead, maybe— there's no point in wondering he could've or should've done. This is the closest to a happy ending 007n7's got. Who is he to question it?
"What? No, no, no, I did die. I was dead, I think, for a while. If I was alive, I wouldn't have this." 007n7 tilts his head to the ceiling, revealing his gunshot scar. He doesn't know why his death left scarring, but he doesn't know why The Spectre did most things except to torture them all. 007e7 gasps.
"So... how..."
"Some entity took me and my son and forced us, along with some other people, in these death games."
007e7 nods wordlessly, no comprehension in his eyes. They do glisten.
He doesn't say anything; 007n7 keeps rambling.
"Yeah. My son killed me over and over again. He was tricked into doing it, then he was forced to do it. He looked normal, well his skin was red before, but he looked like most ten year old kids do, you know? He's ten by the way."
"Ten..."
"Yeah. I've been a father for ten years. Isn't that crazy?" Crazy is an understatement. It's a little inane when he really thinks about it, so he doesn't. "Anyways, that's why so many admins went missing-"
"Ten years?"
007n7 clamps his mouth shut.
007n7 realizes that 007e7 is crying. He's not a pretty crier, but neither is 007n7; his sobs come out as gasps, between gulps of air and indescribable words. Snot mixes with large tears, turning his face to a red, puffy, wet mess as he wails.
007n7 wonders when was the last time someone cried over him.
The thought startles him into action, his hands reaching to wipe away his cousin's tears. He's never been more thankful for his parental instincts as he tries to comfort 007e7, whispering comforting things and holding him, grounding him at any cost. He doesn't allow the absurdity to stop him — 007n7 comforting 007e7, his older cousin?
His abrupt movements jostle c00lkidd, but 007n7 doesn't notice until he feels him shift.
"Dad? Where are we?"
"Hey, kiddo. We're somewhere safe, okay?"
c00lkidd rubs his eyes. He blinks and looks at his surroundings, then leans back into 007n7's shoulder.
007n7 looks back at his cousin to see his eyes wide and his mouth dropped.
"This is...?"
Did he not notice c00lkidd at all? He's hard to miss, with his tall frame and bright red skin and sharp horns and tail and everything else corruption gave him, but he supposes it's more shocking to see one's cousin raise from the dead in the dead of night. "c00lkidd, my son. Kidd, say hi, this is your... uh..."
"Uncle. Just say uncle."
"Uncle. My cousin."
"H-Hi..." c00lkidd yawns, then waves. 007n7 looks back and frowns. c00lkidd's eyes are half lidded, his expression tired. He sounds notably shyer than before; even when the bullying was ruthless, c00lkidd was always bright and talkative. A true extrovert. Their time in purgatory has taken that from him, it seems.
007n7 used to be like that too, at least the 007n7 in 007e7's memory.
007e7 gives 007n7 a sympathetic look.
"He's just tired."
"Let him rest then."
007n7 puts him down on the couch in 007e7's living room. It's small and black and plush and much too small for c00lkidd's long and spindly frame. At least a fourth of his legs and his large feet hang from one end; his horns slightly dig into the couch's faux leather on the other. It's better than the beds the survivors slept in, and probably than the killers' beds as well.
c00lkidd is out like a light, his eyes slipping shut the moment his head hits the couch. 007n7 watches him go. His chest rises and falls steadily, to his father's relief.
It feels like the first night with c00lkidd, when he was the random baby left at his doorstep. c00lkidd cried so loudly, 007n7 thought his eardrums were going to burst, which was saying something considering the loud music he used to listen to. Watching another living being drifting off, comfortable enough to rest in front of 007n7, was disorienting. Now it feels right.
He kisses c00lkidd's forehead.
007n7 can feel 007e7 staring at him.
"He doesn't look like you."
007n7 snickers at 007e7's attempt at tact. "He's adopted. Showed up on my doorstep in a cardboard box as a baby." His smile becomes fond, despite everything. "He changed my life."
"Of course." 007e7's gaze doesn't change in intensity, as if he's observing an experiment. There's no fondness this time, only a detached curiosity. 007n7 doesn't mind as much as he would have. It must be odd, seeing the immature exploiter he kicked out become a father. Become responsible for someone besides himself. "...You weren't buried with him. Was he alive this whole time?"
Did you leave him?
007e7 doesn't ask — or more accurately, accuse — but 007n7 already knows.
"Did the news not say?"
"Say what?"
"They didn't-" 007n7 bites his tongue, but he's fuming. His son was erased from history. They couldn't give 007n7 dignity in death, the least they could do is give c00lkidd at least a shred of care. What did they say instead? Waste-of-fucking-space hacker killed himself on Tuesday, two thirty-one or so in the morning, who cares? It's the same result, how wonderful! Roll in the parades! He forces himself to take a breath. "My son went missing. That's why I did it."
007n7's chest feels lighter after saying it out loud. He is the only one who knows what really happened, but he supposes he gave up his right to tell it when he died.
007n7 killed himself after the disappearance of his son. Perhaps it was a long time coming, since 007n7 was — still is, unless Builderman's guilt has something to say about it — a convicted criminal, jailed in his youth, and therefore ruining his future. A perfect example of what not to do in college, a perfect cautionary tale. He had attempted suicide before, back then.
It was dumb. He always fantasized about his funeral, with a crowd sobbing about poor misunderstood 007n7, the boy they failed. That society failed.
That they would think of him and have some kind of love for him that they couldn't muster in life.
That they would think of him and feel something. Anything.
It's why he did hacking, deep down, though he convinced himself it was for a greater purpose. To connect.
Of course, he grew out of it.
Not really. He never stopped hating the admins who worried over limiteds and investors rather than their own people, but he had other things to worry about. More reasons to live, specifically one on his doorstep. His own rebellion wasn't very noble, anyway, so dying for a cause wasn't something that interested 007n7.
But he wasn't stupid enough to kill himself over childish fantasies, but over the emptiness that permeated his life. c00lkidd was his last thread. He really had no one. He had people before who cared about him, but didn't internalize it until they were gone.
007e7 must know that. He must have been the one umbrella in the rain, staring at a desecrated grave. Maybe he left a bouquet.
007e7 doesn't speak for a while. 007n7 shifts awkwardly, watching his cousin stare down at the floor listlessly. His expression is frustratingly blank; 007n7 can't decipher any emotion.
"I never knew. They didn't say anything about that. I don't think they said anything except about... hacking, yeah."
"Figures."
"Fuck, I gotta remove your gravestone now. I didn't write an, uh what's the word, in- epa-"
"Epitaph." He only knows that because of Taph. He hopes Taph is doing okay. He hopes they're all doing okay. He worries about the younger ones, but they all have support systems. They can support each other, too. He knows Two Time and Noob had discussed such arrangements, especially with their connections to certain killers. The rest seem set up for healing. The admins have whatever they have, presumably including Taph. Elliot has a family. Chance has his parents. Guest has his best friend.
...Guest has his wife and daughter.
He doesn't need 007n7.
Okay. So what. 007n7 has his cousin, here, willing to listen. 007n7 has a son who needs to depend on him. There is a life that 007n7 needs to create for someone else's sake.
What of his own sake? his conscience nags, but he cannot answer.
(He didn't hate his life with the other survivors. After a while, they became friends. A family, almost, both fraught and inseparable at times. He will miss them. He will miss the life he carved out through his own merits, now that he's back )
"I have a gravestone?" He asks instead.
"Of course you have a gravestone." 007e7 looks affronted. "I thought you died. I grieved you. I had to close all of your bank accounts and read your will and-and I missed you, n7."
007n7 reels from the revelation. He was missed.
"You missed me?"
"I knew it was for the best that I... that's-that's what I told myself. You always tell yourself shit to make yourself feel better, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, fuck man. You made it hard to like you, I mean, I don't know how Noli could- never-nevermind. But I loved you. I still do. I wanted you to live! I wanted you to grow and you did but you died anyway. I still cared about you."
007n7 clenches his jaw. He knows very well how much of a piece of shit he was to 007e7, and he deserved to get kicked out. It still makes him upset. He deserved to be alone, but he could have used 007e7's help when he was with c00lkidd. Maybe c00lkidd would never have gone missing if there was just one person there.
If 007n7 had reached out, maybe there would have been someone there.
"I didn't think about that," he whispers, unwilling to admit
007e7's expression goes flat. This, 007n7 is familiar with. 007e7's lips purse, eyebrows lowering slightly, trying to suppress his disapproval.
"I know," he murmurs, trying to placate 007e7, "Losing my son just destroyed me, and I thought I burned every bridge."
"You did?"
Does he have to spell it out? It's painful, but he grits the words out anyway. Not without a fair amount of bitterness. "Well, yeah. You. Noli."
"Your parents."
"Them too, I guess." They had disowned 007n7 after his first criminal charge, when it was clear that their son was going to become nothing but a no-good criminal. They certainly didn't grieve him; they washed their hands clean of him, leaving the logistics to 007e7. 007n7's last surviving family member.
At the time.
Not anymore.
007n7 sinks to the floor.
His son is safe. They are together.
No tears come, but a deep sense of relief fills him. At last, after so long, his body feels like it's home.
007e7 follows him down to the ground, face to face with 007n7. His arms open, and 007n7 falls into his embrace.
007e7's hug hasn't changed much. Oh, the smell of smoke is still there, along with a hint of booze, but so is the same cheap cologne — something called "scent of a man" for infinite "sex appeal", because what else would it be called — he wore before.
007n7 still does not cry, but he convulses, as if his body is trying to squeeze out more tears. He must have cried them all before.
007e7 indulges him, but eventually pulls away to stare at 007n7 with more determination than he's had all night.
"Where are you going to go from here?"
007n7 is silent.
He really has no idea. He decides to be honest, because what else can he say, a half-assed lie?
"I want to raise him right."
"How?"
"I don't want him to be like me." It comes easy; it's the motto to encapsulate 007n7's parenting style for the past decade. It wasn't a successful pursuit, but it's something that will happen
"But how." For a second, the stern 007e7 from the past is back, snapping out of his shock to question 007n7. Back when it matters most, when it cuts the most.
"I don't know!" 007n7 wails, forgetting his situation for a second to sob. He isn't used to this scrutiny, and it just illuminates how unsure he is. His son was forced into the Banlands, into torture, then forced to kill over and over again. He wouldn't blame him if he became a hacker to cope. God knows the system failed him.
007e7 doesn't know any of that and 007n7 doesn't know if he ever will, but without that factoid, he still has the big picture.
Perhaps it's such a pitiful picture, that 007e7 feels obligated to make an offer.
"Stay with me."
"What?"
"You have nowhere else to go."
"Builderman did offer to buy me a place-"
007e7 makes a face.
"I'm not joking." 007n7 doesn't think he can joke at a time like this. Maybe the joke is that he would actually take Builderman's offer.
"Didn't say you were, but let me do this for you." He takes 007n7's hands and startles at the texture. 007n7's hands are rougher than 007e7's, a lot rougher than they used to be. "I didn't even know you had a son..."
"No, you didn't." He can't say that it's not 007e7's fault, but 007n7 tries to inject sympathy in his voice. 007e7 only looks even more depressed. His shoulders slump, his bottom lip trembling, but 007n7 would rather have 007e7 pity himself than pity his estranged cousin.
"I gave up my place in your life. I never got to see you grow..."
"I mean, if you didn't then I wouldn't have become a father, probably."
"And you wouldn't have...have..."
"We're here now, e7." 007n7 surprisingly has no difficulty smiling. It's really a feat, that they're on speaking terms again after everything, and it makes 007e7 crack a tentative smile too. "But you're right. As always. I can't make it without help. I mean, that's what got me in this mess. I was alone. I drove everyone away. You, my parents, Noli..."
007e7 doesn't ask about Noli, which 007n7 appreciates more than he thought he would. Especially after he mentioned him, and how he couldn't understand why he stayed. 007n7 still doesn't, not completely, and he most likely never will.
He thought he was prepared to give an answer, or a nonanswer, because he has none. Noli had disappeared in the aftermath, presumably to his cult, hopefully to a life without 007n7. Sure, Noli had 'forgiven' 007n7, but him lingering could lead to them repeating their unhealthy dynamic from college. It's still sad, but 007n7 feels less depressed about it when 007e7 is there.
"So you'll really stay?" His eyes shine, stunned hope and joy glimmering in dull green. His grip gets uncomfortably tight.
"For a bit. I don't wanna leech off of you, you know?"
"I... I know I wasn't the best role model, but let me give you what I failed to. If not for you, for your son."
007n7 looks back at his boy, sleeping on the couch, exhausted from the days before, fearing the days ahead.
He sighs.
"For now. Just to figure things out."
"Of course."
And that was that.
No handshake, no contract, but total security and assurance.
007n7 feels a bit silly for worrying, as 007e7 all but forces him into the king sized bed in his bedroom for the night. (What kind of man has a king sized bed in such a small apartment but a terminally single bachelor with too much money, 007n7 thinks. It swallows the room, but it's so comfortable that 007n7 doesn't comment on it.) After some begging, 007e7 lays next to him. They're side by side, like they were at a sleepover in their youth, before their age gap and personalities became a wedge rather than a footnote.
007n7 will still worry later, but for now things seem okay for once. 007e7's breathing evens out next to him. He's clearly exhausted from being woken up early, emotionally drained from the heavy conversation. He's finally been given peace of mind after days of mourning, and therefore permission to rest peacefully. So is 007n7.
It's the best sleep 007n7 has gotten in years.