Chapter Text
Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
Some days I really miss them™ 😢😢
Image Insert 1:
[Taken after game 7 of the 2015 Stanley Cup final: From left to right. JJ Boiziau, Shane Hollander-Rozanoz, and Hayden Pike are pictured in the Metros’ locker room. Both Boiziau and Pike have their arms wrapped around Hollander. All three are soaked with champagne and smiling at the camera.]
↳Boiziau’s Baby Mama @JJBrescueme
Oh the good ole’ days 🚬
↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
Stop now i’m fuckin’ emo 😫
↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
You don’t understand this trio was extremely fucking personal to me
Image Insert 1:
[A photo from Shane Hollander’s 2nd season with the Metros. He’s sitting on the bench with Hayden Pike and JJ Boiziau. All three appear focused on what’s happening on the ice in front of them.]
↳Hollyander 🌱 @plantsandpucks
I’m actually still in mourning 😞😞😞😞😞
↳Hollander Whore @alwaysfor24
We really had it all and didn’t even know it
↳Shane’s Army @hollanderdefender24
Young, dumb, and on a winning streak
↳↳Hollyander 🌱 @plantsandpucks
We took it all for granted
Hollander Whore @alwaysfor24
Chat, do we think they still talk? Are they still best friends? I need them to still be best friends
↳Shane’s Army @hollanderdefender24
Idk, they were at Shane's wedding, weren’t they?
↳↳Daddy Hollzy Luver 😝 @callmebymyname24
They were
Image Insert 1:
[A black and white photo taken from Jackie Pike’s Instagram: Shane Hollander-Rozanov, Hayden Pike, and JJ Boiziau at Hollander’s wedding. The trio are laughing and smiling at the camera.]
Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
I just remembered none of the other metros were there, and now I’m mad all over again
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Mind you, Shane was at every wedding, every baby shower, visited everyone in the hospital after injuries bruh i’m PISSED 🤬
↳↳Hollander’s #1 Girl @allabout24
And bought gifts!
missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Remembering Shane Hollander bought every Metros Mom™ a stroller just for their shitty husbands/bfs/bds to call him an egomaniac control freak
↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
And they wouldn’t even spit on him if he were on fire im so fucking sick
↳↳Shelly 🏒 @gearheadgirl
No seriously shane bb get behind me
No It IS That Serious 🏒 @hockeyismylife46
Seeing how the Raiders treat Rozy vs how the Metros treat Shane
↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
Mind you the Metros MADE HIM LEAVE
Its Metros 4 Lyfe @montrealmetrosfan1996
If hollander goes back to back with the Cens I will [redacted] myself
↳Boston FTW @raidersforthwin
Want me to load the pew pew for you yes or no?
↳↳Its Metros 4 Lyfe @montrealmetrosfan1996
😭😭😭
Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
Watching people who literally helped run Shane out of Montreal talk about how much they miss him…..hmmm 🤨
↳Dream Girl 🌈@dreamgurlevul
No like….run it back to #tripgate because yall wanted Shane gone BAD
↳↳Cents Stan @centsoncentsoncents
Called him everything but a child of god
hollanov on top @itsashutout46
Day 650 of asking ****** fans to leave my GOAT alone
Shilya’s Third @lolaboutjaney
All this sudden nostalgia and wemissshane talk is inch rest ing
↳let my cens fight @censgoaliestan
We listen and we DO judge
No It IS That Serious 🏒 @hockeyismylife46
Anyway congrats to shane Hollander AGAIN for moving to the centaurs 🙄
Image insert 1:
[Taken after the Metros’ loss to the Centaurs in the first round of the 2021 playoffs: A group of Metros fans outside of the Bell Centre burning an effigy of Shane Hollander, identified by his jersey.]
Image insert 2:
[Taken after the Centaurs opening home game: Hollander, sweaty from the game signing a fan’s poster.]
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Like they literally called my man a traitor…
↳↳Hollander’s #1 Girl @allabout24
Traitor…cheater….and every slur under the sun including some that had not yet been invented
↳↳↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
THE NORTH REMEMBERS
Hock-Tea😈 @HockTeaGossip
🤨
Video 1:
[A clip taken from the latest episode of the Puck Around and Find Out Podcast:
Cunningham: (Crossing his arms over his chest) I mean, yeah Hollander’s having a hell of a season. Clearly there's merit to being married to your captain. (Rolls his eyes) Still, I believe the Metros are still the better team overall. Their record speaks for itself.
Jacobson: (scoffing) Their record with Shane Hollander, you mean. Because there’s a very clear before and after.
Cunningham: (rolling his eyes) Please, we have to retire that myth. I'm sick of hearing it.
Favreau: (laughing incredulously) A myth? John, you can’t be serious.
Cunningham: Oh, I’m serious.
Favreau: (shaking his head) I don’t think that’s fair
Cunningham: (shrugging) It’s fair. When one of the most important games of his career was on the line, Hollander couldn’t close. That’s a fact.
Favreau: (kisses his teeth) I think there’s more to that story though, isn’t there? I mean, outside of that one instance, Hollander had a hell of a run that series. He scored over 75% of the Metros’ total points by himself. The Metros don’t even come close to winning that series without Hollander on the team.
Cunningham: We don’t know that—
Jacobson: (gesturing reflexively) We do though. The Metros didn’t make the playoffs last season and, the way things are going, it’s looking like it’s gonna be a long shot this season, too. The reason? Their offense sucks. William Dubois is not Shane Hollander. No center they try to replace him with is going to measure up.
Cunningham: (shaking his head) Okay let’s not pretend Hollander is god’s gift to hockey. He still lost control of his room. Dubois came in following a cluster of a series and is still trying to get the Metros back on track. He’s trying.
Jacobson: And failing.
Cunningham: That’s not fair. He’s a young center. He’s trying his best on a team in a full re-build—
Favreau: Which he wouldn’t have to do if the Metros hadn't let Hollander walk. They prioritized short-term satisfaction over long-term success. If Hollander played for Montreal the way he did for Ottawa last season, the playoffs would’ve gone very differently.
Cunningham: But would they? You saw how the Metros collapsed under Hollander’s leadership in ‘21. There’s no guarantee that would’ve improved.
Jacobson: I think players that cared more about their captain’s sex life than winning caused that collapse, John. Like I said, Hollander played his fuckin’ heart out. He always does. And I don’t want to hear any bullshit—
Favreau: Okay, guys—
Cunningham: Jesus, Alec I’m not trying to re-litigate the tripping scandal—
Jacobson: There was no tripping scandal. There was a stupidity scandal. One you contributed to if I remember correctly—
Favreau: (clapping loudly) Okay! Whoa!
Cunningham: I don’t appreciate that, Alec. I just don’t. Don’t act like I was alone in that. If Hollander’s own room wouldn’t trust him, how were we supposed to?
Jacobson: I don’t know, John. Use your fuckin’ eyes and ears, maybe?
Cunningham: Fuck you.
Favreau: Christ almighty. I’m going to the ad read—
<<Podcast Jingle Plays>>
Favreau: Trouble planning meals during the week? Well, worry no more with help from our sponsor, Hello Fresh!]
↳Shelly 🏒 @gearheadgirl
If I say what I want to say they will suspend my account but know that I’m thinking it
↳Cents Stan @ centsoncentsoncents
#tripgate discourse in this year of our lord?
↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
Like, my brother, with blood still wet in the streets, this is the conversation you wish to bring to me
↳↳↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
😭😭😭
↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
John Cunningham I have a lock of your hair and a wax doll don’t test me
↳↳Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
I— 😭
↳↳Boiziau’s Baby Mama @JJBrescueme
Oh that’s not
↳↳↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
You wanna be next to him?
↳↳↳↳Boiziau’s Baby Mama @JJBrescueme
🤐
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
So let me get it straight…….the metros are the better team, but they didn’t make the playoffs last year and they’re not going to this year either (don’t shoot me I’m RIGHT)
↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Bro is Theriault eating your ass or what the metros are playing like dogshit
↳↳Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
I hope you know you just killed Henri Theriault. Like you killed him with this tweet.
↳↳↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
I apologize for nothing
let my cens fight @censgoaliestan
I hope Shane’s offline because yall are EXHAUSTING
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Oh he def has Puck Around blocked lmao. Ilya on the other hand….
Ilya Rozanov-Hollander @realIlyaRozanov
🏆🏆🏆🏆
Image Insert 1: [A photo collage of all 4 of Shane Hollander-Rozanov’s Stanley Cup wins.]
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
And there he is.
↳Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
Oh I know John Cunningham is FUMING