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“Rocky does not understand”
“I know buddy,” Grace rubbed his face, moving his glasses further up his nose. “It’s just a… human thing.”
Rocky rolled back and forth, moving from desk to desk checking the medical assessments repeatedly. “Stupid human evolution does not make sense.”
Grace had to agree it wasn’t ideal but considering the state they had found the new human in, he couldn't complain. He stared through the glass into the medical bay where a young man sat on an inclined cot connected by dozens of tubes. Grace had been terrified as they brought him aboard, just looking at him, Rocky and him were convinced he was a goner. But as the tests showed, he was okay, physically. Mentally, Grace was less sure. This was a fact that confused Rocky endlessly. Human’s hardwiring so intrinsically linked mental health and physical abilities to a point where even though this man in front of them was able to breathe and sit on his own, he was completely locked in his own head.
“Sometimes when humans experience a trauma, they just kind of shut down.”
“Shut … down question?” Rocky tilted his head like a dog waiting for further instruction.
Grace flailed his hands attempting to illustrate his point. “Like going inside, deep inside yourself, trying to stay away from whatever hurt you on the outside.”
Rocky stilled his ministrations, “like Rocky’s crewmates…”
Rocky checked the live medical reports once again and Grace felt his heart break. The man would be okay, unlike Rocky’s crew all those years ago. It would just take time.
“I think that’s enough for tonight, I’m going to bed.” Grace leaned back, popping his spine. As he stood from his chair to leave, Rocky rolled in front of him blocking his path. “What’s up?”
“Grace stay statement,” Rocky had that low melodic hum to his voice that indicated he was using his ‘serious voice’. “Sleep here. Rocky can watch both of you while you sleep.”
Grace smiled warmly, patted the glass of Rocky’s ball, and sat back down in the chair with a loud oof. As he settled into the chair, crossing his hands over his stomach, he looked with half lidded eyes over at the man in the medical bay. It was like the man was sleeping in a way. He stared straight forward, unblinking and blank. His arm lay limply at his side and his breathing was slow and even.
As he drifted off into the fuzzy in-between stage of sleep, Grace heard quietly from next to him, “Rocky will wait for humans to wake up.”
It was a few days later when the man turned his head to the side and acknowledged the strange rock creature that hadn’t left his side once. It was a slow blink, nothing massive at all, and yet Rocky chirped excitedly, and loudly called for Grace to come quickly.
The man flinched at the noise which only excited the alien even more. He tucked his chin down, causing his hair to curtain around his eyes, shielding his view.
Grace reprimanded Rocky quickly, sending him to the viewing room, before taking the now vacant position at the human’s bedside.
“Hey man, how are you feeling?” Grace adopted the gentle smooth tone he reserved for scared kids. It seemed to work better than Rocky’s shrieks, as the man looked up through his hair, wide-eyed and cautious.
“We found you quite far from home and in pretty rough shape, but me and Rocky here,” He gestured to the glass window where Rocky was vibrating in excitement, “we patched you up real good.”
The man hesitated before tilting his head down to his shoulder where his bandaged stump hung from his shoulder. It couldn't be helped. When Grace and Rocky had found him, they’d first hand seen the ripped tissue and skin surrounding the pale bone where his upper arm should have joined with the rest of his arm. He remembers the stench of thick blood that still hung deep in his sinuses even after several sanitisations. The fact the man hadn’t contracted some kind of infection from contamination was, frankly, a miracle.
The man’s breathing picked up at the sight, as if he was reliving a horror inside his mind. In fact it was if his body was frozen, stuck in the position of looking where his appendage should have been.
Just as his eyes began to cloud into that unseeing fog Grace had become all too used to seeing, Grace quickly moved a blanket over the wound, effectively covering it from view. It seemed to break the man out of his panicked trance and he jerked his head back towards Grace, staring frightened into his eyes with rapidly gasping breaths.
“Oh gosh I’m so sorry,” Grace spoke quietly, “just try and slow your breathing, maybe um, focus on what you can touch?”
The man gasped, and wriggled his hand free from the blankets, like a fawn learning to walk. His hand clearly was reaching for the side bar of the cot but overshot from disuse and he gripped air with shaking fingers.
Grace gently cradled the man's hands asking, “is this okay”. The man nodded jerkily and his fist became encapsulated in a hold so dearly tender.
“That’s it,” Grace hummed, “there you go.”
The hand’s clenched fist eased and Grace moved his fingers to interlock with the man's. Grace looked over at Rocky who was scuttling with happiness at the display. It was adorable how protective the alien had become of their species, treating them like fragile fleshy babies. Grace looked back towards the man who had mostly calmed and begun leaning back on the propped up cot. He gave one last reassuring squeeze.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“You will love Erid!” Rocky crawled alongside the man down the hallway of the Hail Mary, “you will love Adrian! Adrian is Rocky’s mate, very smart, pretty, very gentle.”
The man followed, nodding along with a blank face. Even though he had become more mobile, he was still partially locked in his mind. He hadn’t said a word with the two and rarely expressed emotion even though Grace could tell he was listening and reacting in his own little ways. He wasn't sure how, but his small nuances were becoming easier to read the more time he spent with the man.
When Grace had gone out to check the exterior of the ship in preparation for landing on Erid, the man had become more stiff and jerky watching him put on his spacesuit. His eyes darted specifically following the movements of Grace securing himself in the suit, clearly anxious and wanting to speak up but not being able to. Grace had moved closer, moving the man's hand towards the locks and clasps of the helmet and gloves whispering, “See, completely safe, it’ll be okay.”
The crew had just docked in at the Erid equivalent of NASA and were moving towards the main entrance of the Hail Mary. Grace had seen the man's anxiety moving in waves all morning and had clued in Rocky that he may need to pay extra attention caring for the human. Rocky had taken this mission to mean he should chat happily away at the man, not allowing a single anxious thought to pierce his mind, using images of his beloved Eridian as a shield.
“Adrian has been so excited to meet you too!” Rocky continued as if the man had responded to his previous line of conversation, “They are working on a prototype for a prosthetic that will fit your arm and-”
The man stopped suddenly and turned to Rocky. A few paces back Grace stopped as well, worrying if their little surprise might be having an adverse effect. It was all Adrian’s idea, replacing the stump with a prosthetic would give him more mobility but also remove the recurrent trauma response the man got every time he looked at his stump.
The man moved toward Rocky, and even though he was shorter than Grace, he had to admit he was plenty more intimidating. However, when he raised his hand towards Rocky, he just gently placed it against the glass in a silent gesture. Rocky, trying to remain mellow and calm for the man's sake, vibrated in excitement unable to completely control himself at being offered this sign of thanks.
“I will tell Adrian to bring it to the enclosure next time! Rocky will personally fit it, can customise as well…” Rocky continued rambling in happiness as the two picked up their conversation walking towards the hatch opening. Grace breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t thought that the man would do anything to hurt either of them, but he was still occasionally paranoid. He himself had gone through a great deal over the past few years.
The doors opened and a melodic tune drifted through the metallic hallways. The Eridians were always so welcoming. In front of the three, a collection of Eridians crawled inside their suits, chirping hellos towards the crew who had once again returned from a journey but this time with a new friend. Adrian made their way to the front and gave their mate an intimate greeting unique to their planet, which the new man just watched with a small content smile in his eyes, but Grace caught it like he always did.
Adrian nodded towards Grace before moving to the man, “It is an honour to meet you, Rocky has told me so much about you.”
The man inclined his head in return.
“Whoever you were, soldier, civilian, or even teacher,” Adrian affectionately acknowledged Grace, “You are welcome here, in this safe haven you are family.”
Grace smiled and then stilled, noticing the man’s new expression. His lips pressed together in a curl, rubbing together as if trying to form words but unable to open his mouth. He stressed his hand in his shirt with the effort, and tears began to well up in his eyes at the unfairness of it all. Grace had never seen him express so much but it was clearly involuntary, just a byproduct of trying to force something he wasn’t yet ready for.
“Thanks Adrian,” Grace spoke, moving up next to the man. Instantly his face softened in relief as if placing down a heavy object and finding relief. The man gently tapped Grace's hand in thanks. He smiled and gave him the same in return, signalling, ‘it’s okay.’
What he wasn't expecting was the easy way that the man’s hand slipped next to his own and intertwined with each finger. It felt warm, reassuring, and as if it was always supposed to fit right next to his own. This close, Grace got the joy of watching as the man's expression fell open in awe at the wide expanse of the enclosure. The wind rustled through his hair, flowing like those cheesy shampoo commercials Grace would have to watch in between youtube filled school lunches.
At the sound of the waves crashing, he tensed but Grace took it as a cue to continue on the grassy garden path instead of walking on the sandy beach. As the Eridians sang together in joy marching up the hill, they would chitter at how adorable the human was, watching him regularly stop, leaning down to smell and examine the flowers that lined the path. Grace knew just enough Eridian to pick up calls of “cute” “squishy” “Grace mate question?” The last one caused Grace to flick his head around quickly towards two younger aliens gossiping to themselves. Thank god he only had the portable translator listening to Rocky and Adrian.
Grace halted realizing something. The translator. Oh he was an idiot.
The man still kneeling in the dirt, brushing his fingers through flower petals, had no idea what was happening behind him. Grace pulled out the portable translator and opened the input function.
“Hey um,” Grace started, hating to take the man away from his joy, “If you ever wanted a way to communicate, I use this with Rocky it’s pretty good, and I just thought you might want to use it with us, you don’t have to, it was just an idea,” he rushed out. God he was doing this all wrong. On the Hail Mary he had already had the horrific thought that the man might just not speak English, but he seemed to understand it at least.
The man took it from him, viewing the open transcript application waiting for input. He smiled at it, an actual smile. When he handed it back to Grace who was still reeling from that way the man's eyes smoothed into perfect half crescents, there was a piece of text written on the device.
Thank you Grace.
“You're welcome.” Grace squeaked, holding the device tightly. Even though they had been able to communicate in their own subtle ways, there was no denying this man had just broken a massive mental barrier separating him from the outside world. Step by step he was allowing himself to be exposed to the stimuli of the outside world, and it was Grace’s honour to be the one rebuilding a world for him to wake up to that would be kinder than the one he had just escaped.
They walked through the front door of the cabin being led by Rocky, expert tour guide, displaying all the personalised designs he had put in place to aid Grace’s ‘flawed human needs’. But Grace just stood by the door re-reading the written words in his hands over and over.
“Grace stupid statement.”
“Rocky, not helping.” Grace groaned.
Rocky had come to visit with Adrian as he usually did every second day. They enjoyed seeing how the two humans had begun to make the space their own, molding around each other seamlessly. It reminded Rocky of the start of his cohabitation with Adrian, except for the fact Grace was significantly more stupid.
“Stupid.”
“Rocky.”
This Bickering had been going on for quite some time. Adrian had gone out on a walk with the other man, likely to show off the new garden that had been grown on the western end of the enclosure, yet another surprise for their chosen human. With private time on their hands, Grace and Rocky sat in the kitchen on the barstools Rocky loved to spin on, and they began discussing how the cohabitation was going. This is what led Rocky to the insanely stupid discovery that Grace hadn’t yet learned the other man's name.
“You live together question?”
“Yes.” Grace responded, not a fan of the alien’s sass.
“You sleep together question?”
“No- well yes.” Grace sputtered, “don’t phrase it like that.”
“And you don’t know the human's name.” Rocky looked so damn disappointed.
Grace threw up his hands trying to find a reason to pick out of thin air. He was an awkward guy in the best situations but this was a strange situation and he had already royally messed it up by just being too damn awkward to ask.
“It’s too late to ask now you know,” he whined, “like back then he was all catatonic, and then when he started using the text to speech device, I just missed the chance.”
“Rocky knows his name.”
Grace leaned forward so fast he rocked the chair he was sitting on.
“What is it?”
Rocky folded his front arms, “Grace needs to ask himself.”
“What the hell Rocky!” he yelled exacerbated, “you’re my best friend come on!”
Rocky shook his head emphatically. “Grace needs to learn not to be an awkward human."
Grace was about to tear his hair out in stress. “I’m asking you because I’m trying to be less awkward, I can’t just keep calling him bro and buddy.”
“You… nevermind.” Rocky critically spoke, definitely judging him. He stood up making his way to the door. “Grace is helpless statement.”
Grace let out an egregious groan and slid further into his chair, dramatically melting down the back until he had almost completely slid off the bottom. At the door Rocky looked down the beach path and chittered into the wind, using a frequency that would carry the distance to the two figures walking up the cliff. Adrian called back lovingly signalling their return, with gifts?
Grace grumbled to the door curious about what they were carrying and paused at the sight. The man’s lower half of his face was pressed into a handpicked bouquet of wildflowers. He was smelling them, pressing his face to the petals, and closing his eyes at the sensations. Grace’s heart skipped.
“Grace like what he sees?” Rocky said in a tune much like those of the pre-teen girls he taught. Those teasing tunes that poked fun of shy boys with life consuming crushes. Grace was losing his footing over a man he didn’t even know the name of. Rocky was right, he needed to get to the bottom of this.
As the two crossed the threshold, the man puttered in the kitchen finding a tall glass, filling it with water, and then displaying the flowers on the windowsill. Grace loved the way he would bathe in the sensations of things around him, most notably the sun which he soaked up like a sunning kitten.
“Hey um, bro.” Grace winced.
He turned his face from the window towards Grace with a relaxed smile on his face.
Fuck, you can do this Grace.
“I was just wondering if we could have a chat?”
Adrian perked up from the doorway, but Rocky shooshed them, directly both of them back outside.
The man moved from the doorway and towards a bookshelf near the main seating area, where he always placed his communicator before leaving the house. He sat down and held the device in his hands indicating to Grace he was listening and ready to chat. Grace followed into the sitting area but loitered in the doorway.
Grace had no idea how to phrase this or even start. They’d known each other for just over a month now, this was just embarrassing.
“I um…” Grace fiddled the fabric of his pants.
“Grace.” the automated sound of the communicator said in a low smooth tone, “sit down with me.”
Grace nodded and made his way over to the sofa sitting down, leaving a space between them, which was highly unusual for the two. As the only two humans in the galaxy, they often bypassed the need for personal space, leaning on each other on the couch, waking up intertwined in bed, or even that one time where Grace helped the man clean up in the bathroom after an enthusiastic gardening session. Grace should not be thinking about him in the shower right now, not at all.
“This is going to sound so so stupid.” Grace began, “but I don’t actually know your name.”
The man paused, eyes slightly rounding in surprise, before crinkling in amusement. He raised his hand to his mouth, a common gesture whenever he would laugh without the sound of it ever leaving his lips. He scooted forward and wrapped his arm around Grace’s shoulders, trapping him in a half embrace that always made Grace feel tiny whenever he felt the man's arm close around him. Grace could feel the amused puffs of air on his forehead, he was still laughing then.
Grace leaned back and adjusted his glasses on his nose, “I just felt like it was too late to ask but then I was talking to Rocky and then-”
“You are so stupid.” The man was fully smiling now.
“That’s what Rocky said too!” Grace huffed in frustration, “you’re both so mean.”
He shook his head and input something into the device.
“My name is Simon.”
Grace was taken aback. Now that he knew it, he did look like a Simon.
“Simon.” Grace breathed, “Simon.” and then repeated just because he could.
“Grace.”
Grace’s mouth twitched up and he couldn't help springing forward with his arms out, catching Simon in a giant embrace. Simon expelled a gust of air and fell back on the couch, looking up at the man on his chest with such joy.
“Aaaand kiss.” a suspiciously Rocky sounding melodic song came from outside the cabin.
“Rocky!” Grace yelled, throwing a cushion at the window where the top of Adrian's form was obviously poking up from below the windowsill. The two aliens chittered and scurried down the hill laughing. As the sound grew quieter the more distance separated them, the sound of Simon’s heartbeat under his hands became more prominent. And in that moment Grace felt the undeniable feeling of lips meeting his cheek.
Grace felt his face becoming rosy, damn his pale skin. But Simon didn’t mind at all, in fact he brought his hand up to feel the warming cheek, tracing over where he left his mark on him.
“I thought you didn’t know Eridian?” Grace whispered, now thinking about all the conversations in the language Rocky and he had had in front of the other man.
Simon moved his hand away and stretched towards the forgotten communicator.
“I don’t… why?”
So Simon had just decided to kiss him then. He didn’t know why this outcome made his heart flutter even more. He plopped his head down on Simon's chest and mumbled into the fabric. “No reason.”
Simon put down the translator and began carding his fingers through Grace’s hair, at peace with the oddities of his human. He placed another kiss to Grace’s hair lasting a little longer this time, just to hear the squeak it spurred.
“I’m back!”
Grace popped his head around the corner seeing the vision which was his Simon walking through the door in the late afternoon light holding a bunch of flowers. Grace smiled at him, noticing the way the light hit the shiny metal band around his ring finger.
It had been a stroke of genius from Adrian, compacting the communication device into a small ring that could detect the movements of Simon’s sign language and then project the speech audibly when it sensed Grace wasn’t in his eye-line. The Eridian’s had picked up ASL incredibly easily and the young ones loved to show off how much they could understand whenever Simon visited the class.
Additionally, Grace loved knowing that the small conversation Grace had had with Rocky on the Hail Mary about marriage rings had stuck around. He chose to believe that was the reason why when they were finally given the translator ring, it came with a matching ring measured to Grace’s finger as well.
“Where do you keep getting these?” Grace laughed receiving the held out bouquet with a quick kiss to his lips. “Soon you’re going to run out of flowers to pick.”
“Don’t worry about it Angel,” Simon used his now free two hands to wrap them around Grace’s waist and lean forward for a deeper kiss.
Grace could feel his mind becoming mush with every small circle Simon drew onto his lower back. Simon had received his personalised prosthetic a week ago now, and had made it very clear that he was going to be using it to its full advantage, in every way. Grace shivered in his touch feeling a little lightheaded. When they separated, Grace’s glasses were slightly askew which always made Simon laugh in his own silent way.
“Where have you been anyways?” Grace asked, bringing up a hand to adjust his glasses, “I feel like you’ve been going out everyday.”
Simon sighed, “I’m working on something.”
“Oh yeah?” Grace asked, curiosity peaked.
Simon smiled back, but faltered slightly. “It’s not going very well though, I’ll probably head out tomorrow too for more practice.”
Now that wasn’t what Grace was expecting to hear. Practice? He had assumed Simon had been working on another of his agriculture projects, maybe a new farm plot with different fruit trees? But practice insinuated he was trying to attempt something himself.
Simon pulled away moving towards the bedroom, but Grace quickly reached out his hand, gently holding Simon’s. Simon, even though significantly stronger, swayed with the movement as if being magnetically brought back towards Grace.
“What’s up Si?” Grace said, searching Simon’s face, "Anything I can help with?”
Simon looked away, before shaking his head. But in the movement, he slowly aborted the action and tilted his head to the side, considering if he could let Grace in on what was going on.
“I’ve been working on my speech…”
Grace was taken aback. How long had it been since Simon had started going on his daily excursions? It’d been long enough that the number was hard to remember in his mind, and by the number of bouquets in their house, gifted on each return, it was enough that Grace should have noticed something was up.
“You’ve been practicing speaking?” Grace said, attempting nonchalance.
Simon nodded but grimaced. Like he had said before, apparently it hadn’t been going well.
“Oh Si,” Grace felt the weight of what the man in front of him had been holding. He clearly hadn’t told him because he wanted to work on it himself, maybe even surprise him one day with how far he had come. But from the look on his face, it seemed to be a very taxing venture.
“I just,” Simon began, clearly frustrated, his sign language becoming sharp and forceful. “I want to be able to talk to you like other humans, I really do. It’s just so hard.”
“I get it love,” Grace said, trying to be supportive, but he could see it fired Simon up.
“You don’t though.” Simon’s face furrowed in frustration before immediately pacifying in regret. “Shit I’m sorry.”
Grace wasn’t concerned, he knew this was a sensitive topic for them both. Eridians weren’t familiar with the concept of being mute. Language was so intertwined with their physical movements that it was nearly unheard of for Eridians to struggle with speech. Young ones usually struggled with not being able to reign in their noises, instead of struggling to produce them at all.
“It's like, I can feel what I want to say, it's right there.” Simon brought his hand up to his mouth, moving his fingers into a tight claw just above his lips. “But I just… can’t. And you have worked so hard, learning sign language and learning all my weird shit! I just wanted to give you something back…”
He looked so unhappy with himself. Grace could see the telltale signs that he was about to cry, from the way he was squeezing his eyes shut to the way his hands shook as he signed his final words.
“Hey love,” Grace said, noticing the man’s eyes were still screwed shut. He moved the flowers from his elbow, hovering them just under Simon’s nose. The man breathed in jaggedly and with the sweet sensations hitting his body, he began to pry his watery eyes open.
“There you are.”
A tear fell down his eye, running onto a petal pressed delicately to his cheek. Grace moved the flowers away to wipe the track away, then kissed the spot under his eye for good measure.
“I know how much this means to you, but truly, you don’t ever have to speak if you don’t want to.”
“I want to-” Simon wetly breathed out.
“I know,” Grace cupped his face and brought their foreheads together, “But please I hope you know I love you so much. So much. And speaking won’t change that, it won’t change how much love I feel for you,”
He brought the now weeping man down so that his face was pressed into his shoulder.
“I will love you just the same even if you never speak too.”
They stayed there, standing in each other's hold as the sun went down. They felt each other's chests rise in tandem and exchanged small wet kisses when Simon raised his head every so often.
The slightly squished bouquet eventually fell between them, forgotten on the floor as the two communicated so much without needing a single word between them. It was going to be okay.