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Malleus was so lonely.
Lonely. Lonely. Lonely.
He had woken up today feeling…wrong. Yesterday bled into today. All of his days had been melting into one. When he first realized his horn was broken, when he realized he could feel without causing tragedies, when he thought things were going to change, he was so happy.
He was a fool. He should have known he wouldn’t be accepted. Everyone who didn’t still fear him hated him. He was back to being the terrifying Malleus Draconia.
He wasn’t Roi du Dragons, he wasn’t Lizard, he wasn’t Sea Slug, and he wasn’t Hornton. He was a dragon that almost killed everyone. He was back to being a monster.
He didn’t want to go outside. It was irresponsible to skip his classes, but he didn’t care. Malleus Draconia just wanted to lay in bed.
It turned out that being left with his thoughts was the last thing he wanted. Being stuck with himself was a hell he would never escape. What kind of cruel world would have him? A man who could speak to no one.
He only wanted people to stay, and yet he pushed them away even more. He knew Lilia said he didn’t intend to abandon him, but it was hard to believe.
He had plunged everyone into a false paradise. When had he become so pathetic? Trapping everyone in dreams they didn’t truly want. How was he supposed to know they would hate it? He thought everyone wanted a perfect world.
Maybe they just didn’t want a world tied to him. Would he even want the world tied to him?
He's a monster. A lonely monster.
What was the point of leaving his room? What was the point of trying? What was the point of even…
No. No, he can’t let his mind go there.
“Do something.” He spoke to himself. “Get up and do something.”
He forced himself to his feet. It felt like the world was weighing him down. He almost crawled back into bed, but nonetheless, he got up. He got ready for school and made his way out.
The walk to the lounge was agony. He regretted every step he took. He just wanted the world to swallow him and leave nothing behind.
Malleus was surprised to see no one in the lounge. Usually Sebek was there waiting for him with Silver and Lilia. Maybe Sebek didn’t want to see him today. Maybe he never wanted to see Malleus again.
Malleus couldn’t blame him. He himself had started hating his reflection. He no longer saw himself. Only the monster. Maybe they were one in the same.
“Hello? Is anyone here?” Maybe he had been in his mind for too long. Perhaps he was late for school.
He looked to the nearest clock. He wasn’t late; he had missed school.
Great. He was a monster and he missed school. How much worse could this day be?
He was so happy on Silver's 18th birthday. What happened?
Actually, he knew what happened. He came back to school and remembered what he was. Remembered who he was. Malleus Draconia.
He was starting to hate that name.
“MY LIEGE!” Sebek yelled into his ear.
“AGH!” Malleus flinched. It felt nice to feel.
“My apologies!” Sebek gave a quick bow. “I tried to get your attention this morning, but it seemed like you didn’t want to be bothered.”
Malleus wanted to be bothered. He wanted anyone to look at him like a person again. It felt like Silver, Sebek, and Lilia were the only things keeping him afloat.
“Here!” Sebek smiled as he handed Malleus an invitation.
Malleus felt something. He didn’t know exactly what it was. Feelings have always been a bit complicated, and that has only been magnified as of late.
He nearly teared it open.
Hello, you have been invited to a celebration. If you want more details, head to the mirror chamber.
Malleus smiled. “Will you also be in attendance?”
“Nope!” Sebek seemed weirdly happy about his lack of invitation. “Do you wish for me to escort you there?”
“That will not be necessary.” I do not want to saddle you with my pain. Not again. “I will be off now.”
“Goodbye…Malleus.”
Malleus froze for a second. He didn’t know how to feel, but he had to get going.
“Goodbye, Sebek.”
Malleus walked on autopilot. He didn’t want to perceive the eyes that were probably looking at him in fear. He just had to make it to the mirror chamber. Just one more step. Just one more day.
When he entered the mirror chamber, the first thing he felt was a bunch of confetti being thrown at him.
“You took so long to get here.” Leona, the one who threw it, scolded. “Can’t you teleport or something?”
“Leona!” Riddle hit them with the end of his staff. “We have confetti poppers for a reason. You didn’t let me start the countdown.”
“That was never going to work.” Jamil said before he took a sigh of apple juice. “This is good. Vil, you got this from Epel, right?”
Vil finished chewing and cleared his throat. “Yes! He was quite happy to offer it when I showed him the money. So was Trey!”
“I keep telling you Monstro Lounge would have been happy to cater everything.” Azul poked at the cake like it was an active bomb. “For a small fee.”
“No one is falling for that.” Jamil shoved the cake in Azul's face. “Idia, pass me more cake to hit Azul with.”
“EEK! What is this, a zerg rush?!” Idia hid further in his hoodie.
Malleus looked around confused. This didn’t seem like a housewarden meeting, so what was it?
Riddle clapped his hands. “Everyone! In 3, 2—”
“Congrats on overbloting. You have been invited to the overblot club. You damn lizard.”
“LEONA!” Riddle hit him once again.
“Agh! What’s the point in dragging it out!” Leona flicked Malleus’s forehead. “Since you overbloted, you have been invited to the party.”
“I’ve been invited?” Malleus felt his skin get hot and cold at the same time. “You all chose to invite me?”
Vil walked up and looked at Malleus. “We can’t have this party without you. Why wouldn’t we invite you.”
Malleus felt all of his emotions hit him at once. All the emotions he had to control his whole life. All the emotions he hadn’t been feeling as of late.
He cried with a huge smile on his face. He felt so happy, angry, and sad at the same time. He felt emotions he never even heard of before. Through his tears, he could see the housewardens looking at him in shock. All but one.
“C'mon, come with me.” Leona helped him up. “I'll handle him. You all can handle yourselves for a bit."
Malleus and Leona took a step outside. Leona led him to sit down.
“Let me guess. You’ve been feeling numb for the past few days or weeks or years, and all the emotions hit you at once. You feel like a monster, and you can't stand you own face anymore.”
Malleus’s eyes widened. Was he just…understood?
“Knew it. Trust me, I know what it’s like.” Leona looked anywhere that wasn’t Malleus. “Take all the time you need. I learned the hard way brute forcing it only makes it worse. I'm sure one of your knights would love to hear about it.”
Leona got up and turned away. “Come back when you’re ready to party. Oh, and…don’t do it. More people than you think will miss you.”
Malleus stayed seated as Leona walked away.
Malleus was still lonely on paper. He still woke up today feeling wrong. But he can’t change the past.
He stood up and wiped himself off. Malleus Draconia was invited to a party.
Malleus Draconia woke up today. Malleus Draconia got out of bed even when he didn’t want to. Malleus Draconia would be missed if he died.
He pulled out his newest phone and opened the camera to check his appearance. He was okay with what he saw.