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What do you do with a loving feeling, if the loving feeling leaves you all alone?

Summary:

He started carefully placing steps on the tiles, the squeak of his boots too loud for his liking, staining the perfectly white floor with the dirt caught in the outside world.

Every step felt like walking into a completely different universe– too clean and sanitary to ever be run by humans. Ewron once saw Multi’s lab– it was hygienic as well, sure, but not to this extent. A human being could simply never achieve this level of sterileness.

While walking in the unkown corridors, Ewron's mind ran back to Ash. A small thought stayed persistently in his brain, whispering to his ear every time he tried to plan anything according to the rescue— What if he won’t be there? Worse, what if he will find his cold body, but not him? Rationally, there was a very small chance that this could happen, but it still existed, and its simple existence was enough to disturb Ewron’s mind, regularly messing with his thoughts.

or: Ewron helps Ash break out of the federation lab, but Ash doesnt seem to remember a life out of it.

Notes:

hello!
I had a little break from writing, thanks to my amazing writers block, and also a bit of a detox from qsmp, but im back with my beloved assassin duo!

As usual, I remind that i only ship characters in rp and NOT cc's, thank you.

the title is from Mitski's song Loving feeling!

What more can I say, Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Many myths about the federation laboratory circulated around the island. Some said it was dirty, full of blood from dead experiments, others speculated that it was full of wires and the newest technology. Nobody really knew what that place was though.

 

Ewron was about to find out.

 

The spot was hidden, but not as well hidden as the federation thought it was. The grass covered up most of the entrance, but Ewron was still able to spot it.

 

He stepped carefully onto one step, checking if it’s not a trap. Nothing happened– he brought his other leg lower, going slowly like that ‘till the end of the staircase. The walls were perfectly white, not one drop of blood or dirt spotting them. The corridor in front of the man was just as clean as the staircase, perfectly spotless. White tiles covered the entirety of the place, reflecting the light, so clean that Ewron could see his own face on them.

 

Every step was dangerous– the floor was extremely slippery. Maybe it was that way so there was no way to  escape easily. He didn't know, and he didn't want to know. All he wanted to do is to see Ash again, and save him from this horrible place. That was all that mattered.

 

The hallways seemed to go on forever, making Ewron lose perception of time. Maybe he was walking there for an hour, maybe two, or maybe five minutes. The Panda was normally unpatient, but now it got to whole another level. Every step felt like a decade, every second like an hour, so close yet so far to the goal, so far yet so close to Ash.

 

Ash.

 

He corrupted every inch of Ewron’s thoughts, slipping in every time he wasn't busy with something else. 

 

Ewron tired busying his head, he really did. Getting new items, new pets, running around the island, trying to do anything to get his mind off of the assassin. But a bitter aftertaste was left after every interaction he had, because despite everything– it wasn't him. Ash wasn't there.

 

As Ewron started panting, out of breath, he noticed a crossroad on the horizon. A little smile crept up on his face– the plan was closer to finishing. Now he was more careful approaching the crossroads, looking around to see if no one was there. Not like he had any chance of hiding or running away– there was nothing around, and the hallway was too long for him to run anyways.

 

There were 3 directions Ewron could pick– go to the front, go right or go left. He looked around to see if there were any signs pointing at what direction would be the one where Ash was held hostage. He spotted three signs, each attached to the wall next to a corridor on each of the sides. The one on the left said “Operation room", the one at the front said “Laboratory", and the left one said– “Experiments". 

 

Ash could be located in any of these rooms, so Ewron had to be careful choosing which way to pick. Any of the federation workers could be working on something in either of these rooms, and he had to have a plan how to escape in his mind.

 

Ewron furrowed his brows in thought. From the fact that Ash was kidnapped by Cucurucho he could deduce that they experimented on him in some way, unless they had a hidden prison somewhere. That would be very unfortunate, but Ewron didn't want to think about that way of things. 

 

The sun was just coming up, announcing the end of the night, which meant that probably nobody was working yet, so the operation lab could be crossed out from the list. “Experiments” sounded like a name for rooms meant for people experimented on, which would make the most sense.

 

After a second of staring at the floor and walls, paralyzed and unable to do anything, he chose what he would do, and got up, turning towards the left.

 

He started carefully placing steps on the tiles, the squeak of his boots too loud for his liking, staining the perfectly white floor with the dirt caught in the outside world.

 

Every step felt like walking into a completely different universe– too clean and sanitary to ever be run by humans. Ewron once saw Multi’s lab– it was hygienic as well, sure, but not to this extent. A human being could simply never achieve this level of sterileness.

 

While walking in the unkown corridors, Ewron's mind ran back to Ash. A small thought stayed persistently in his brain, whispering to his ear every time he tried to plan anything according to the rescue— What if he won’t be there? Worse, what if he will find his cold body, but not him?  Rationally, there was a very small chance that this could happen, but it still existed, and its simple existence was enough to disturb Ewron’s mind, regularly messing with his thoughts.

 

After the relatively short walk, in comparison to the one leading to the crossroads, a series of glass doors appeared on the walls, little wooden signs with names written on them above. Most of them didn’t ring a bell to Ewron, except one.

 

Ashswag.

 

A smile unwillingly crept up on his face, and his heartbeat fastened, thumping irregularly in his chest.

 

His hands started sweating and shaking a little. Someone who was so far away, out of his reach for so long, would probably sit in this room at this moment, thinking that no one will come save him. 

 

Ewron pushed the door gently, trying not to make too much noise. The doors didn’t squawk– they were very well preserved.

 

And there he was. The one and only.

 

He was dressed in a whole white federation uniform, his skin paler than usual, his long hair braided carefully, not one strand of hair peaking out. His expression was bland and confused by the sudden noise.

 

Ewron’s heart was about to jump out of his chest.

“Ash,” he whispered. “I can’t believe it.” He ran up to the assassin, embracing him in a tight, warm hug. He missed the feeling of Ash’s body in his hands, his heart so close to the man’s, the beat of them both entangling and mixing like tones of the most beautiful song Ewron has ever heard. “You’re safe now, I promise. From now on, I’ll do anything to keep you safe, you don’t have to worry.”

 

He was met with coldness, the arms of Ash still hanging parallel to his torso.

 

Ewron slightly backed up, his mind an absolute mess. Yes, maybe Ash wasn't huge on physical contact, but not even a whispered word, not a one pat in the back, not even a mean remark towards Ewron’s talk, like he usually would? Something was wrong. So, so wrong.

 

The face of Ash was just as confused as Ewron’s, his eyes slightly widened, his mouth in a small frown.

 

Their heads were paralleling each other, both men wondering about the other one’s behaviour.

 

Ash stared at the man whose silhouette he seemed to recognise, but no name showing up in his mind, and wondered how that man knew him. How did that guy even break into the federation laboratory? From walks that he had to the operation room, he noticed how long were the white corridors leading to the exit. They were never ending, the exit door so far that it wasn't visible to a human eye.

 

Though the most important question was, who that man was to him, that, in an act of such desperation, he broke into a place so heavily guarded and almost unachievable?  

 

Ash truly couldn’t get it, and he wished he did. He didn’t know how the guy could even know him– all of his memories were located in this very lab. 

 

He didn’t really remember how the sun looked like, but he could remember its gentle shine on his skin, he didn’t remember how water looked like, but he remembered the refreshment of getting into cold water after a challenging fight– he didn’t remember this man’s name, but his heart seemed to remember how it felt around him, his breath hitching the slightest bit as he saw the full silhouette of Ewron.

 

“Who… are you?” he muttered out, and Ewron just stared at him, dumbfounded.

 

They kept looking at each other, like they were looking for answers in the other man’s gaze.

 

“Who do you think I am?” Ewron asked, and as much as it could be interpreted as a playful question and was very in the panda’s style, his tone of voice suggested that he really wanted to find out how much of him was kept safe in Ash’s mind.

 

“I… I don’t know.” He spoke after long minutes of silence. 

 

Ewron just lowered his head, his mind screaming. Was it all for nothing? Of course they did something to him, they couldn’t let him be free with the knowledge he had, they had to somehow alter it for their benefit.

 

And what did he even expect? That Ash will jump into his arms, thanking his “hero”? Of course he didn’t remember. Ewron shouldn’t even be sad– it was about to end that way, one way or another. Even if the federation didn’t mess with his memories, or whatever they did, Ewron was about to die anyway, and Ash would forget him. 

 

He can’t let that ruin the plan of getting Ash out of there. He deserved to be free, no matter if with him, or without.

 

“Listen to me. You don't remember me, and I know you have no reason to trust me, but… We used to be friends. Good friends. And these guys? They don’t have any good plans towards you. I am here to break you free, if you’ll agree to go with me,” he stated, praying in his mind that it will be believable enough for him to trust him no matter the brainwashing he was probably put through.

 

Ash just stared at him, a turmoil in his head. The thoughts were banging against his skull, causing a slight headache to occur. On one hand, he couldn’t be sure about the man's intention. Maybe he was another person who wanted to kidnap him and do something to him? “I’d rather be dead than feed myself with false hope”, he thought.

 

But on the other hand, something about this man spoke to him quite like nothing else. The way he stood, the way he exclaimed his sentences, it all felt too real, too close to his heart and too familiar to think it was a lie.

 

He really didn't know what to do, so he just kept sitting, staring at Ewron like he was the only thing in that, a matter of fact, almost empty room.

 

Ewron brought out a hand towards the assassin, hoping for the other man to take it.

 

“I’ll explain everything during the walk, I promise. We don’t have a lot of time,”

 

Ash did something he was almost sure he will regret soon.

 

The warm hand of his touched the pandas palm, and he got up from his perfectly made white bed, as he started to walk towards the door with Ewron.

 

A smirk crept up on the panda's face, his heart beating a bit out of order, as he started dragging Ash with him through the white corridors of the federation laboratory. 

 

He was happy– happier than ever. Maybe it didn't go perfectly his way, but his words seemed to stir something up in Ash, making explaining everything to him easier.

 

Ash on the other hand was ready for everything, questioning his own decision of taking the man's grip all with every step they took.

 

He hoped his decision would be the right one.