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A lot of people probably liked Zuko—Fire Lord Zuko, that was.
He was… well, Toph knew he had a scar, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was ugly. And he was such a kind and compassionate ruler, so forgiving and so very helpful and apologetic, that it was hard not to like him.
But Toph had liked him before that, too, back when they were kids traveling the world, back when everyone had hated him and she’d thought he was honestly trying his best. It was back when Toph hadn’t even known he was royal, back when he’d been so socially awkward it was almost pathetic.
She wasn’t really a kid anymore, but she was still well aware of what a crush was.
And, yeah. She had a crush on Fire Lord Zuko.
It was harder, now, with all the changes that life had brought them. Servants and crowns and money and chains… It was amazing what a few years and high status could do to friendships.
For the first few minutes of dinner, they hovered awkwardly. Simple yet polite questions like how have you been and how’s work that put them on some line between politicians and friends.
Which wasn’t a good place to be, actually.
How were you supposed to talk to the crush you hadn’t seen in ages? Or, better yet, how were you supposed to talk to the Fire Lord when you had a crush on him? When you were rejecting all the influential Earth Kingdom guys your parents set you up with because you thought the damn Fire Lord would be a better match?
It sounded stupid. She knew it was stupid, to put her hopes on a guy like Zuko. But he was… she didn’t know. Looks hadn’t mattered too much, obviously, but she had a feeling Zuko was hot. It was his personality, maybe. He was hot-headed, like her, and yet he knew when to be kind and polite. Knew how to, actually. He knew how to make her feel important.
When they’d first met, Zuko hadn’t known she was blind, and she hadn’t known that he hadn’t known. Honestly, the experience just made her appreciate him more, because he’d treated her as a normal person, which was more than she could say for… well, anyone, at the time. Even after he had found out (that conversation had been so very awkward), the only thing he’d stopped doing was shoving papers in her face. And he hadn’t really done that before, either, so.
Maybe she was wrong to hope, but wasn’t that the fun in having a crush? Hoping and obsessing over the stupidest little thing even if it meant nothing in the end?
Because how could Toph freaking Beifong marry the Fire Lord?
“So,” Toph started.
“So… what?” Zuko asked.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
Zuko paused for a second, then laughed. “Sorry?”
Toph smiled. “No, you heard me. We’re too awkward right now. Give me something juicy.”
“There’s the Toph Beifong I know,” he sighed. “I’m not with anyone. Mai and I broke up.”
Toph nodded. That– that was good, but obviously she wasn’t going to just say that. “Oof. When did that happen?”
“Uh, a while ago, I guess? I don’t really remember. She said I hurt her and she didn’t want to do that again, and I mean, I guess I was disappointed at first, but I was mostly upset with myself. For a while I wanted her back, but now I think being friends is easier, you know?”
No, Toph didn’t know, because she wanted more than friends with the guy sitting across from her. “Well, that’s good. That’s me with a lot of guys, I think. I have to get married soon, probably. My parents are kind of pressuring me.”
Zuko sighed. “I know what you mean,” he agreed.
She laughed. “What, is your dad telling you to find a match or something?” It had been a while since they’d traveled the world together, since they’d met, and they were okay joking about their insecurities, now.
“Oh, shut up,” he huffed. “Everyone is talking about how I need to marry soon if there’s to be a line of succession, or whatever. Even Ty Lee thinks I need to find someone soon! Like I can’t just end my messy bloodline with me.”
Toph considered it. “Well, I guess they don’t do elections like in the Earth Kingdom. You’re royal blood, there’s no fighting that. And you’d need a partner to handle stuff so you don’t… do everything alone all the time?”
“Well,” he muttered, “thanks for believing in me.”
Toph nodded, then thought about how her parents were kind of doing the same thing. “Do they also have lists of people who’d be good partners?”
“How’d you know?” he asked.
“Personal experience,” she answered, unamused.
“I see,” he commented simply, then thought for a bit. “It’s not that I don’t see the practicality in getting married, it’s just that I don’t want to. Trusting someone that much has gotta be a pain.”
So Zuko didn’t want anyone, it seemed. Well, that was that. “Don’t you trust your friends? Do you… trust Mai?”
He sighed. “Sure I do. But isn’t that a different kind of love? Isn’t the marriage type of love the one where you feel butterflies and sparks when you see them, or get excited when you touch them? I haven’t felt love like that before.”
“Not even with Mai?” Toph asked.
“No. I guess dating’s just different from marriage, maybe?”
“Don’t people date to marry?” Toph asked.
“Then I guess I haven’t found the right person yet.”
Toph considered it. Maybe I could be the right one, she kept herself from blurting out. Instead, she gave him a practical solution: “You could have an arranged marriage with someone else who has to have an arranged marriage. That way, neither of you actually expects anything, and you’d both get your marriage!”
Zuko was silent for a few seconds before he said, “That’s actually not a bad idea.”
She grinned. “I know!”
“The only problem is,” he added, wiping that smile off her face, “I don’t know anyone who needs a husband right now.”
Toph gulped. Me, she kept herself from saying. Me, I need a husband. Me, I want to marry you. “Well,” she suggested instead. “Maybe marry someone you like?”
Zuko groaned. “I thought we already established that I don't like anyone.”
“No,” Toph amended, “like, a friend.”
“Wouldn’t that be unfair?”
“Only if they felt that way,” she shrugged. “But you could marry a friend who you trust not to push your boundaries, or a friend who could work with you, or a friend who’s, I don’t know, willing to do it, no strings attached? You said the hardest part about marrying someone is trust, right?”
Zuko sighed. “Are you implying I ask Mai to marry me? She’d be the perfect person, Toph, if she didn’t hate the thought of getting with me.”
To put it simply, that was… not what Toph had been implying. She sighed. “If it’s not meant to be, then don’t push it, Zuko. I never said you should. There’s hundreds of girls out there. Or boys, if that’s what you’re into.”
“You think that’s what this is?”
Toph rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry? I didn't want to assume.”
Zuko exhaled to calm himself. “No, no. It’s fine. It’s just… I don’t think I want to marry anyone at all, you know? Even if it is a friend, which I don’t have that many of.”
“The ones you do have are good,” she argued.
“Spouse-worthy, though?”
Yes, Toph thought. Yes, I could be your spouse. “You never know.”
“No,” Zuko insisted. “Mai’s out of the question, and Ty Lee is… Ty Lee. She’s like a sister, and I swear she’s happier not being tied down by politics.”
“You know, it doesn’t have to be someone from Fire Nation,” Toph hinted.
“I’m Fire Lord,” Zuko retorted. “It should probably be someone from Fire Nation.”
Toph rolled her eyes. “And the Avatar is dating a Water Tribe girl. Seriously, Zuko, if you’re trying to spread harmony between the nations, limiting your options is probably the worst thing you could do.”
“I guess you’re right. But I don’t have many close friends from other nations, either.”
“Yes you do,” she told him. “You have more than any of your ancestors did.”
“Like who?” Zuko asked. “Aang is with Katara. Sokka is with Suki. All that leaves is me and…” Suddenly Zuko was quiet, probably as he realized what she’d been implying.
Yes, Toph breathed. Yes. “Zuko. I suggested it because I wanted to. It’s a good idea. And I’m willing to marry you, no strings attached, if you’re okay with that.”
Zuko was still quiet. “Why?” he finally managed after a long silence.
Because I like you, idiot. “Because,” she answered, “I have to get married, too. We’re close friends, and we can respect each other without being all mushy about it, and we have the same goal. It’s practically perfect!”
“But marrying your best friend is just crazy,” Zuko breathed.
“Why?” Toph asked, ignoring the part where Zuko had called her his best friend. “People marry their best friends all the time.”
“They do?”
“Yeah, but sometimes they call them ‘partners.’”
“Oh.”
“Come on, Zuko. We could just do it legally. It’s for practicality at most,” she insisted. “Nothing about us would have to change.”
“Yes it would.”
“No, it wouldn’t! I won’t force you onto anything, I swear!”
“No,” Zuko sighed. “I mean, as the Fire Lord’s wife, you’d be pretty obligated to do business in the Fire Nation. I’d practically be taking you from your home.”
“Great!”
“No, it’s not! You have things to do in the Earth Kingdom, Toph. Whether that’s teaching your school or caring for your parents, it’s not something that I can give to you if you marry me and stay in the Fire Nation.”
Toph laughed. “It’s not a problem, I swear. I travel all the time, and my parents are fine with it.”
“And your academy?”
“The students are fine. They’re so capable. And more of people persons than I am. I bet they could teach anyone metalbending any day.”
“Would you really be willing to give all of that up to sit on a throne in the Fire Nation, though? To, what, sign paperwork and attend meetings and bear all those responsibilities?”
“I already have responsibilities to deal with,” Toph mused.
“Exactly,” Zuko agreed. Then, hesitantly, he said, “you’re needed in the Earth Kingdom.”
“Zuko,” Toph said, her voice commanding his attention. “The war’s over. The nations aren’t cages. We can go to each other’s nations now, and if anyone called us weird, they’d be in the very small minority.” Zuko stayed quiet. “That’s not the reason, is it?”
He sighed. “Listen, Toph, it’s nothing personal. Really. You’re probably my best candidate, actually,” he commented casually, as if that didn’t mean the world to her. “But I don’t want candidates at all. I just don’t feel comfortable with the thought of marrying anyone right now.”
Toph sighed. She supposed that made sense, although Zuko was the perfect age to marry right now. No, wait, that kind of sounded weird. “Even if I didn’t force you to do anything?” Toph asked. “Even if we could just be a… friends-with-benefits thing? Would that still make you uncomfortable?”
He sighed. “I mean, I’ll admit it. I do enjoy your presence, a lot more than I tolerate most people’s. But when it comes to marriage? You’re not lower than anyone. But you’re not really high enough for me to want to marry you, either. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I think,” she said quietly, pretending that didn’t sting.
“No, sorry.” Zuko shifted. “I didn’t explain that well. I’m saying no one’s high enough for me to want to marry them. But you’re the closest it gets, I swear.”
Toph smiled softly. “Thanks.”
“Mhm.”
After a brief silence, Toph asked, “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” Zuko replied.
“Why did you date Mai if you never liked her that way?”
Zuko paused. “Well, I thought I did. We knew each other since we were stupid kids with stupid crushes”—he said that as if Toph didn’t have a stupid crush right now—“and, you know, I trusted her. I enjoyed her company, you know?”
“Yeah. I know what that’s like,” she mused.
“But is that really enough for marriage?” he asked.
“I don’t see why it can’t be,” she replied.
“If two people don’t love each other enough in a marriage,” Zuko thought aloud, “then it’s probably the arranged marriage where they hate each other.” He sounded bitter enough for Toph to remember who his parents were.
“Maybe you were raised with bad examples, then,” she told him. “Everyone’s different. Like, Aang and Katara are just disgustingly mushy.” That got a laugh of agreement out of Zuko. “But my parents aren’t, and they still trust each other. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do marriage.”
“Is that so?”
“I think so.”
“Well then,” he said, “there is one candidate I have for marriage right now.”
“Really?” she asked, trying to sound curious instead of hopeful. She probably failed. “Hah. Who could that be?”
“You,” he answered simply, as if he wasn’t rocking her world right now. As if he either didn’t know or didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t, the idiot. “I trust you. I trust you with my life, and I trust you to be painfully honest, and I trust that you respect me. I respect you, too, Toph.”
Toph smiled. “Thank you.”
“But,” Zuko added, just because of course there was a but, “are you sure you want to marry me? You know I can’t give you, like, what people look for in a real relationship, right? You’d never have someone who looks at you that way.”
Toph smiled. “I can’t see how people look at me, anyways.”
Zuko sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Sorry. Of course it’s fine, is what I’m saying. I don’t mind, I just… I just want you to be happy. If that means not being with me, I get it…”
Zuko stayed quiet for a while. “I don’t want to say no.”
Toph’s heart lurched against her will. “Really?”
He sounded frustrated when he told her, “I don’t know! I trust you, and I like spending time with you, and I could probably live with you.”
Toph smiled in what she hoped was an encouraging manner. “I think we could make it work.”
“But is having it just work enough?”
“It’s enough for me,” Toph concluded. “If it’s okay with you, then we’re good. Who cares what anyone else thinks? They get their damn marriage, we get to feel fine, it’s a win-win.”
Zuko huffed in a laugh. “Yeah. You’re right.”
“You better get used to saying that.”
They shared a laugh.
“Soon, I promise.”
“Really?”
“Really.”