Work Text:
The Quinjet is unusually quiet.
It had been a long, grueling mission. A Captain America x Thunderbolts collab.
The kind that left everyone bruised, exhausted, and too tired to speak.
Well, almost everyone.
Yelena has her boots propped against the opposite seat, eyes closed.
Alexei is already snoring loud enough to compete with the engines.
John sits with an ice pack pressed against his shoulder.
Ava stares blankly out the window.
Bob sits quietly in the corner, completely absorbed in a thick paperback titled A Big Book of Baby Names, Tenth Edition.
Joaquín is halfway through an energy bar, giggling as he watches Bucky.
Sam closes his eyes and exhales. He finally relaxes.
“…Nobody talk for five minutes.”
Silence.
Peace.
Exactly twelve seconds of it.
Bucky looks up from his phone. Sighs.
“You know…”
Sam doesn’t even open his eyes.
“…No.”
“This is gonna be good,” Joaquín says, opening his second energy bar.
“The differences between Bulgaro, Minerva Box, Sibilla Box, Missouri, and Nebraska are actually fascinating.”
Sam slowly lowers his shoulders.
“…I have made a terrible mistake.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“I dated you.”
Yelena opens one eye.
“…Leather again?”
“Leather again and again and again,” Sam confirms.
Bucky nods thoughtfully.
“Bulgaro has a chewy texture.”
John blinks.
“…Chewy?”
“Yes. Chewy.”
Then silence.
“Oh.”
John leans back.
“I want a jerky right now.”
Bucky continues.
“Minerva Box is drum-tumbled.”
Sam points without opening his eyes.
“There it is.”
“What?”
“You always get to your all-time favorite, Minerva Box.”
“It deserves recognition.”
“No material deserves this much recognition.”
Joaquín grins.
“I kinda want to hear the rest.”
Bob looks up from page 131.
“…Actually… what’s a Minerva Box?”
Sam’s head snaps toward him.
“Bob.”
“What?”
“Don’t.”
“I’m just curious.”
“Curiosity is how shitshows start.”
Bucky immediately perks up.
“It’s an Italian vegetable-tanned leather from the Badalassi Carlo tannery in Tuscany. It’s heavily infused with oils, giving it beautiful pull-up characteristics and allowing it to develop a rich patina over time.”
Sam groans.
“You gave him an opening.”
Bob nods earnestly.
“Oh. Interesting.”
Bob closes his book and leans in.
“…What’s Bulgaro again?”
Sam stares in horror.
“No.”
Bucky smiles.
“Excellent question.”
“It was not.”
“Bulgaro has a firmer hand, as compared to Sibilla Box, which is generally softer.”
Bob listens intently.
“Huh. Amazing.”
Alexei opens one eye.
“…Who the hell is Sibilla?”
“Dead cow,” Ava says before Bucky can answer.
Bucky glances up at Alexei. “It’s leather.”
Yelena sighs.
“I cannot believe I know that now.”
Bucky thumbs through his next PowerPoint slide.
“Nebraska has a unique pebble.”
Sam points toward Bob.
“This is your fault.”
Bob looks genuinely apologetic.
“…I’m sorry. It’s fascinating.”
“It’s too late.”
John watches Bucky continue talking with increasing enthusiasm.
“…Does he always do this?”
Sam nods.
“He gets one sincere question and suddenly we’re enrolled in Leather Appreciation 401. He’ll monologue for hours.”
Bob hesitates.
“…This is a four-year course?”
“It is now.”
Bucky looks up.
“I haven’t even gotten to Missouri.”
Bob smiles.
“…There’s more?”
Sam screams into a neck pillow.
“…He’s gained another cult member.”
Joaquín high-fives Bob.
“Welcome to the club.”
Yelena pulls her jacket over her face.
“I miss when post-mission conversations were about explosions. Or plumbing issues.”
Bucky continues anyway.
“On the other hand, Starle…”
A collective groan fills the Quinjet.
Except Bob.
And Joaquín.
They both hang on Bucky’s every word like leather disciples.
“Go on.”