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The mission briefing is nearly over.
Sam stands beside the projection, turning it off with a remote.
“…And unless anyone has an actual mission-related question, we’re done. Rendezvous at 0200.”
He sets the remote down.
Silence.
Sam nods.
“Very well.”
Bucky raises his hand.
Sam closes his eyes.
“…Sergeant Barnes.” He glares at him. “Is this strictly about the mission?”
“…Yes. Technically.”
Six people visibly deflate.
Joaquín quietly reaches over and picks up the projector remote.
Sam notices immediately.
“…Joaquín.”
“What?”
“Put the remote down.”
“Why? He’s got slides. He asked me to assist.”
“You could’ve said no.”
Joaquín looks genuinely confused.
“…Why would I do that?”
Bucky plugs his phone into the port.
The projection flickers.
A title slide appears.
LEATHER SELECTIONS FOR TACTICAL LONGEVITY RELATIVE TO THE CURRENT MISSION
Presented by Sgt. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes
Yelena drops her forehead onto the table.
“We’re being held hostage.”
John squints at the projection.
“…That is an actual title slide.”
Bob’s eyes light up.
“…He’s using colorful graphics. Animations.”
Ava doesn’t even look up from cleaning her KA-BAR.
“We’re all capable of making terrible life choices.”
Sam points at the projection.
“This was not part of the briefing.”
Joaquín blinks.
“…It definitely is. It’s on the agenda.”
The room goes quiet.
Everyone looks at him.
“…What?”
“It’s on the agenda.”
Every head immediately drops to the printed handout in front of them.
Pages begin flipping.
“What section?” John mutters.
“I didn’t read anything about leather selections,” Yelena mutters.
Alexei holds the packet upside down.
“Is there an addendum?”
Bob is already scanning every page with alarming determination.
“I just don’t see it.”
Bucky clears his throat.
“Agenda item 6, section 5(b/3), sub-section 2.2.3.”
Everyone flips faster.
Sam finds it first.
At the bottom of page four.
In tiny print.
6.5(b/3) sub-section 2.2.3: Optional Equipment Materials Procurement (Presenter: Sgt. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes)
Sam slowly lowers the packet.
“… You employed deception for the title.”
“It was properly documented.”
“You weaponized bureaucracy.”
“It seemed efficient.”
Sam turns toward Joaquín.
“You knew about this?”
Joaquín nods proudly.
“I assisted.”
“You assisted.”
“I prepared the charts and graphics. I have a Canva premium subscription.”
Sam stares.
“…You made charts.”
“They’re color-coded.”
“And the leather cross-sections and samples,” Bucky adds. “Those were his idea.” He nods at Joaquín. “You’re the absolute best.”
Joaquín smiles modestly.
“I thought the audience would benefit from a tactile learning experience.”
Bob immediately raises a hand.
“…Can we pass the samples around?”
“Absolutely.”
Joaquín reaches beneath the conference table.
Everyone watches.
He pulls out a compartmentalized presentation case.
Yelena blinks.
“…You brought props.”
“Presentation aids.”
He opens the case.
Inside are neatly organized leather swatches secured with brass rings.
Each is labeled.
Bulgaro
Minerva Box
Buttero
Sibilla Box
Missouri
Nebraska
Latigo
Alaska
Starle
Reverso
Tender
Bob gasps.
“…Fantastic.”
“I figured it’d be easier to follow along.”
Joaquín begins distributing them around the room with practiced efficiency.
One for Bob.
One for John.
One for Yelena.
One for Alexei.
One for Ava.
He reaches Sam.
Sam folds his arms.
“I don’t want one. I have plenty in my room.”
“You’ll need it for slide seventy-one.”
“That many? There are references?”
“There are comparison exercises,” Bucky says.
Sam stares.
“…Exercises.”
“They’re mandatory.”
“I agree,” Joaquín says. “You’ll get more out of the breakout groups later.”
John rubs the Bulgaro swatch between his fingers.
“…Okay.”
Everyone looks at him.
“…I kinda get the chewy thing.”
Bucky beams.
“Exactly.”
“The tactile learning experience is working,” Joaquín says proudly.
Bob compares Minerva Box and Missouri.
“…These actually feel different.”
“I know right!” Joaquín grins.
Yelena sighs.
“I’ve enrolled in university against my will. There is no such thing as academic freedom.”
Alexei sniffs Missouri.
“…This one smells like wood smoke and cherries.”
“That’s from the tannins. Specifically, mimosa. The scientific name is Acacia mearnsii,” Bucky says.
Ava slips hers into a pocket.
“These will make nice coasters.”
Bucky visibly recoils. “Please don’t. They’re not water resistant. They’re vegetable-tanned and uncorrected.”
The lecture continues.
Slide after slide.
Charts.
Close-up photographs.
Cross-sections.
Comparison tables.
Even a graph titled:
Patina Development Over Time in Reference to Tactical Aesthetics (Leather Aging)
Joaquín advances each slide with impeccable timing.
Bucky never has to ask.
They’ve rehearsed.
Sam notices.
“…You practiced.”
“We did one run-through,” Joaquín admits as he distributes burgers and fries to the group.
“Three,” Bucky corrects.
“The transitions needed adjustments.”
Sam takes another bite of his burger, quietly questioning every leadership decision he’s ever made.
One hundred sixty minutes later…
Bucky clicks to the penultimate slide.
Q&A
Bob immediately raises his hand.
“I have six.”
“I knew you would.”
Sam stands.
“No.”
“But—”
“No.”
John raises his hand.
“…I actually have one too.”
Sam slowly turns toward him.
“You too?”
“…What exactly is pull-up?”
Bucky smiles.
“Excellent question. I thought you’d never ask.” Bucky motions to Sam. “Please be seated, Sam.”
Sam sits back down.
“This is the life I’ve chosen.”
Sixty minutes later…
Bucky clicks to another slide.
Simulation Activity
Sam freezes.
“…What.”
“We’ll now move on to the practical exercise.”
Silence.
“The practical exercise?” Sam repeats.
Joaquín is already wheeling another storage crate into the room.
“I’ll hand out the kits.”
“There are kits?”
“There are participant kits.”
He places one in front of everyone.
Each box bears a printed label.
Optional Equipment Materials Procurement Seminar
Practical Assessment Kit
Bob looks delighted.
“…There’s a lab.”
“Learning by doing improves retention,” Joaquín explains.
John opens his.
Ten unlabeled leather swatches.
A magnifying glass.
A scoring sheet.
A pencil.
Leather balm.
Polishing cloth.
Horsehair brush.
“…We’re taking a test?”
“It’s a group exercise.”
“Grading is optional,” Bucky says.
“But there are certificates,” Joaquín adds.
Sam slowly looks up.
“…Certificates.”
“I designed them. Once completed, Sarge will sign the Certificates to validate.”
Bob flips his over.
Certificate of Completion
Optional Equipment Materials Procurement Seminar
“It has a gold foil seal,” Joaquín says proudly.
“It was absolutely stamped with an official dry seal,” Bob agrees.
Yelena examines hers.
“…It’s embossed.”
“Parchment paper,” Ava mutters.
“It is official. We already secured HR’s written approval. It’ll form part of your personnel file.”
Ava raises a hand.
“Can I fail intentionally?”
“No.”
“Active participation is the minimum requirement,” Joaquín says.
He clicks the projector.
A countdown timer appears.
Practical Assessment
20:00 Remaining
Bucky folds his hands behind his back.
“You may begin.”
Immediately:
Bob starts comparing grain patterns with a magnifying glass.
John sniffs Starle.
Alexei confidently labels everything incorrectly. "This is... a Box."
Yelena stares into the middle distance.
Ava somehow finishes in under three minutes with flying colors.
Joaquín walks around offering additional reference swatches.
“Remember to compare and contrast the pebbling.”
Bucky nods approvingly.
“Excellent facilitation.”
“Thank you.”
Sam looks around the room.
The elite superhero and ex-assassins collab strike force…
…is taking a leather identification practical exam.
He quietly leans back in his chair, buffing a Latigo swatch to a glossy sheen.
“I used to fight The Big Three.”