Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Damon Maitsu was starting to become increasingly irritated with his friends–classmates; acquaintances. He didn’t have the label down quite yet but he was absolutely sure that wherever they were they were about to be moved down in the rankings after today’s incident. 

It wasn’t very often that Damon offered to tutor his classmates–if at all as a matter of fact. In his own righteous opinion studying with others hindered his chance at success as more often than not it festered distraction. It was only a matter of time before the group got off topic and the meeting turned from studying to discussing the latest gossip. 

The last time he had agreed to tutor his classmates was in middle school back when he had been naive enough to believe there were benefits to studying in a group. He very quickly learnt otherwise.  

It had turned into a full-blown gossip session in which rather nasty rumours about their peers were being discussed and spread maliciously. It’s safe to say that he quickly exited that situation as soon as he deemed it safe, and vowed to never study in a group again. 

So why he agreed to tutoring Toshiko alongside Eva was completely beyond him. (Threats aside.)

At first he had argued; something he was naturally very talented at. It was undeniable that Eva was an intelligent young woman with capabilities beyond most others–her in-depth knowledge on topics outside of her Ultimate Talent was proof enough of this.

On her own she should have been able to tutor Toshiko with no qualms. After all, the young girl was only fourteen, hardly a challenge for the Ultimate Mathlete. 

But apparently Toshiko had insisted that he be present at their study session. In fact, she went as far as to say that if Damon were to not comply with her demands she would not only purposely fail all of her exams; she threatened them with spreading a rumour of her own: that he and Eva would make a suitable romantic pairing.

(Despite the fact that Eva was in a relationship with Diana. A relationship that Toshiko had pushed herself.)

Now quite frankly Damon could care less whether Toshiko passed or failed her exams. But with the additive threat from the surprisingly cruel fourteen year old, he felt as if he had no choice but to comply. It was a rather pathetic display of weakness on his end. 

If it were anyone else he wouldn’t be concerned about empty threats such as the one hurled at himself. But if the threat was coming from the Ultimate Matchmaker? Damon had every right to be concerned. 

Toshiko was surprisingly adept and rather mischievous in her own special ways, that he was certain of. For such a small girl she could be extremely stubborn when pushed to the extreme and once she had her mind set on a goal she was not one to back down. 

Which is how he found himself in Eva’s dorm room on a Friday evening after classes were dismissed. It was the only suitable area as both Toshiko and Damon’s roommates, Ingrid and Kai respectively, were in their rooms whereas Diana, who just so happened to be Eva’s roommate, was out of town for the weekend.

It made for the perfect place to study uninterrupted. Or so at least he thought. 

At first everything went as expected; they actually studied much to Damon’s delight. Toshiko could be rather whiny, but she wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. It was evident she desperately wanted to prove herself capable and the rather complicated work she was met with wasn't about to stop her.

It was almost admirable just how dedicated to her work she was. If this was her level of dedication to her studies, then Damon couldn't imagine how much effort she put in regarding her talent. Even if he couldn’t quite understand its implications.

It also made things easier for both Eva and Damon as it meant they didn’t have to push her themselves–the girl was more than capable of doing that herself. 

So for the first hour they worked in relative peace. Eva would explain the material to Toshiko with ease and he would jump in at random intervals when deemed necessary. It still made little sense to him why his presence was requested but he decided that he might as well try to be helpful. 

Meanwhile, the matchmaker would listen intently, furiously scribbling down notes in her book, pressing her pen much too hard on her paper. If she had any questions she would ask and Eva would answer, taking the reins and guiding their classmate through her struggles. 

For a moment Damon allowed himself to relax, allowed himself to fall into this little routine the three had quickly developed and engrossed himself in teaching Toshiko content that she was arguably far too young to comprehend. 

All hell broke loose after they hit the second hour. 

Toshiko was becoming restless, that much was obvious. It was noticeable in the way she began to pout more than elaborate when she was stuck on a question. Or the way she tapped her foot in irritation and sighed dramatically whenever Eva turned the page of her textbook. 

“Can we take a small break?” Toshiko’s voice rang out through the otherwise silent room, whiny and childish. Eva looked up from the passage she was reading and Damon tried to stifle a yawn as he too looked up from the ground he was staring at. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t be wrong to take a small break,” Eva hums in response, closing her textbook and letting it hit the floor with a loud thud. 

Damon settles for simply nodding in agreement, biting back a smlie at the way Toshiko’s eyes lit up before she practically jumps from her chair. It wasn't something he'd ever admit out loud but he had developed a small soft spot for the girl in the past few months. 

“Ugh, finally!” she complains, shaking her head in annoyance. “I was actually hoping we would take a break sooner or later as there was something I wanted to inquire about,” she hums softly, a devilish smile appearing on her face that Damon tried his hardest to ignore. 

“What is it?” Eva asks plainly, sitting up straight and placing her hands in her lap. It was clear she was trying to hide it but she was evidently interested in whatever the other girl wanted to say. No matter how much she denied it Eva had become quite partial to gossip recently. 

Although Damon couldn't say much either. (Even if it was Kai's fault for bringing him the gossip in the first place.) 

“I was actually hoping to ask Mochi something, but I suppose since you two are such close friends you may have some valuable information to share,” Toshiko rambled on excitedly, that mischievous smile still present on her face as she spoke, rather eloquently at that. 

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Damon responds dryly in response to the strangely endearing nickname Toshiko had given him when they first met. “But what is it that you wanted to ask?” he hums quietly, unable to deny his own curiosity. 

“As you may be aware I am rather knowledgeable in the realm of love and relationships–naturally my skill when it comes to matchmaking and helping others to find their suitable partner is recognised amongst all who care to see it,” Toshiko begins, puffing her chest out proudly as she monologues about her talent, staring directly into Damon’s eyes expectedly.

Damon blinks, visibly confused. Toshiko shakes her head and mutters something incomprehensible from under her breath.  

“Ahem!” she continues, an attempt to make herself sound more convincing. “During my career I have witnessed many relationships–and it is not uncommon for these to progress slowly, as we all know love is a feeling that can be rather slow to develop,” she talks effortlessly, her flowery language uncommon for a girl of her age. 

“I have become quite fond of watching these slow paced romances–especially when the climax can be so very lovely and rewarding!” she continues. 

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Damon interrupts, deciding that he can’t go on any longer listening to the matchmaker ramble about love and relationships, a department he wasn’t very well versed in. 

Toshiko huffs in annoyance. “I cannot believe how disrespectful you can be sometimes, Mochi!” she complains, her voice rising just slightly. “I refuse to hold it in any longer as this display is beginning to get rather pathetic–and as much as I do enjoy watching relationships develop from afar, I am forced to intervene!” 

Damon scoffs. “Spit it out.” 

Toshiko gasps dramatically and points an accusatory finger at him. “I am here to ask when you are finally going to profess your true love to Kai Monteago for I can no longer take to watching this rather devastating slow burn for another day!” 

Damon froze, for once in his life finding himself speechless, unable to come up with a retort to the unexpected statement. Toshiko breathes heavily, nearly panting from her monologue which was practically yelled out by the time she was finished. Eva nearly chokes on her coffee, spluttering slightly as she moves to cover her mouth with a hand.

“What?” Damon croaks, his voice barely above a whisper. It was difficult, trying to process the words that had just come out of Toshiko's mouth and so a single word seemed to be all he could muster. 

Toshiko huffs at his response, clearly still annoyed with him. “You heard me, Mochi!” She responds, a frown on her face.

“You can no longer deny these feelings for your one true love,” she professes, shaking her head coyly. “Unless you are willing to lose the opportunity to court him, that is,” she states coldly, as if he was planning on confessing this so-called love to begin with. 

Damon couldn't believe what he was hearing coming out of the matchmaker's mouth–it was absolutely absurd. The suggestion alone that he is in love with Kai is enough to make him scoff, a disbelieving look on his face. 

“You can't be serious.” 

“Oh I am very serious, Mochi!” Toshiko snaps back. 

Just then Eva, who has been relatively silent ever since Toshiko started monologuing, decides to chip in. Usually Damon wouldn't mind her contribution as she often acts as the voice of reason. But right now? No, he'd much rather she keep her lips sealed. 

“Yeah, Damon,” Eva begins coyly, a mischievous smirk on her face as she leans forward. “I've been wondering too, when are you going to confess your feelings to Kai?”

Absolutely and utterly absurd. 

“I do not have feelings for Kai!” Damon retorts, crossing his arms over his chest in what can only be described in pure and utter anger. “I don't know what you're suggesting Toshiko–but you've gotten the wrong idea,” 

It was true that he and Kai were a lot closer than most expected, considering their opposing personalities and talents that made it near impossible to see eye to eye. 

At first, Damon, too, struggled to see how he could even be acquaintances with the extroverted and rather emotionally manipulative influencer. Immediately they fought, arguing over space and whether or not Kai deserved to be attending Eden’s Garden Academy due to his unique and less traditional talent–a result of Damon lashing out on his classmates on the first day.  

For the remainder of that month they hardly spoke if not for throwing petty insults at one another that only worsened their relationship. Everyone was aware of their conflict, and rumours quickly started portraying Damon as some sort of monster.

Damon doesn't know when it changed but he found himself becoming more tolerable of the influencer as the weeks passed on. It turned out that Kai was less strange than he imagined and could be rather smart when he actually put the effort into his studies. (Especially when it comes to the matter of marketing he finds.)

Not to mention he could be quite considerate of those around him–not a complete asshole like he had once imagined. During a particularly hard week, when Damon had cooped himself up in his bedroom to study, Kai was the one who brought him dinner every night. Insistent that his studying would go to waste if he wasn't taking care of his needs. 

It annoyed him just how right he was. 

From that point onwards whenever Damon found himself stuck in his bedroom, whether that be from studying or utter exhaustion after a debating competition; Kai was the one who took care of him. Bringing him meals and making him tea, doing his laundry and clearing his desk. 

It was strangely domestic. But that didn't mean he was in love with the other. If anything, Kai Monteago was most likely Damon’s one and only true friend in the Academy besides Eva. 

Toshiko snickers at him, covering her mouth with her fan. “Such unconvincing lies are not going to work with me, Mochi!” she states proudly, puffing out her chest. “I have seen the ways in which you stare longingly into Kai’s eyes as if he is your treasure,” she says dreamily. “It’s rather adorable!”  

Damon scoffs. “I don't know what you're on about, I just look in his general direction,” he responds dejectedly shaking his head. Seriously, Toshiko was just pulling at straws at this point. Perhaps she was bored from the lack of brewing romance in their class ever since Grace and Wolfgang started dating. 

Toshiko grumbles. “Mochi!” she says dramatically, clicking her tongue in disappointment. “I cannot believe you've failed to see the ways in which you treat Kai differently to all of us,” she complains, a frown forming on her face. “Although maybe this is a consequence of you being so utterly in love with him,” 

“I am most certainly not in love with Kai,” Damon cuts through her words, trying and failing to hide his irritation. If Kai were to find out about this conversation all hell would break loose, and he wasn't prepared for that. 

Toshiko shakes her head. “I have witnessed the ways in which you quickly succumb to all of the influencers' requests, no matter how unimportant or tedious they may seem,” she declares, a small smile on her face. “If it were anyone else you would vehemently deny but the moment you see tears prick his eyes you are caught in his trap!” 

Eva snickers next to him, a teasing look on her face. “Seriously, Damon?” She asks, trying to hide her smirk. “I didn't know you were the sort of person to fall for Kai's crocodile tears,” she mocks. 

Damon scowls. “I am not,” he demands. He was usually able to pick up on Kai's fake tears. The display was quite obvious and he was rather unimpressed with how much he tried to pull the trick on him. Sometimes he would entertain his requests if he was feeling particularly nice, but that wasn't often. At least he doesn't think it is. 

“Last week I recall Kai asking for you to accompany him to a new coffee shop, to which you very rudely declined!” Toshiko begins, seemingly bringing the evidence to the table by recalling a story. “But the moment that tears began to prick his eyes you changed your mind within an instant!” She declares proudly.

Damon freezes. Unfortunately that story was also very much true and he couldn't deny it, it would do him no use. The moment he saw the sad, dejected look on Kai's face as he began to tear up he felt as if he couldn't leave him to mull alone and decided to join him on his outing, no matter how much he complained. He wouldn't tell anyone but he ended up having a lot of fun that day. 

But Toshiko was right, he would most likely deny the request had it been any of his other classmates; but when it came to Kai he was much more inclined to agree and join him on his many side quests, even if it was an inconvenience to him. 

“That was just an exception,” Damon grumbles, struggling for once in his life to think of a convincing retort. 

Toshiko snickers to herself, pleased. “Surely not?” she says cheekily, leaning forward. “I always see you two hanging out together, after all,”

Damon waves her off. “Me and Kai are friends, roommates at that,” he argues, not seeming to understand just what she was getting at. It meant absolutely nothing, they were just two close friends who liked to spend time with one another–exactly how friendships functioned. “It only makes sense we spend a lot of time together,” 

Eva places a gentle hand on his shoulder, although her words are anything but that. “Just admit it, you have feelings for him, Damon” she says snidely, poking his side. 

“I do not have feelings for Kai!” Damon nearly finds himself shouting as he shoves Eva’s arm off his shoulder, standing up from his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. Perhaps his loud reaction and flushed cheeks made him look even worse, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. “This is absurd, I'm leaving,” he grumbles, packing up his belongings and heading to the door.

Toshiko giggles, throwing her head back. “Oh my!” she declares. “It’s alright, the only reason I invited you to study with us in the first place was because I wanted to ask you about your relationship with Kai,” she hums delightfully. “I got my answer so your departure will not upset me by any means,” 

Damon sucks in a breath, his anger boiling as he fights to argue with the younger girl. Deciding he didn’t have the time for petty arguments he exits the room, slamming the door shut upon his exit. Maybe it was a little rude but he was too overcome with annoyance to care. 

It was utterly absurd to suggest that he was in love with Kai, a complete misunderstanding on the matchmakers behalf. Just because he had developed a close bond with the influencer despite being quite off standish with the rest of his classmates did not mean he felt romantically about him.

Even if he often found himself craving his attention when he was not around or the fact that recently he had become jealous whenever he got too close with another classmate. 

It meant nothing whatsoever. 

Once he returns to his room he is immediately greeted by Kai, perhaps the last person he wants to see after what had just happened. Although he was aware that it wasn’t the influencers fault for his sour mood and so he reminds himself to not be too harsh on him.

“Ah, Damon you’re back!” Kai calls out, throwing his legs off the side of his bed before walking over to where was taking his shoes off, placing them right next to his roommate's pair of trainers. There was a nervous smile on his face as he watched him and Damon couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, I am,” he replies, walking over to his desk and placing his bag down on his chair. 

“You’re back earlier than I expected,” Kai mentions curiously, following him over to where he was now unpacking his belongings. “Not that it’s a bad thing or anything!” he stutters, throwing his hands into the air anxiously. “I was actually getting pretty bored on my own,” he chuckles nervously. 

Damon blinks, looking up at Kai and noticing just how nervous he looked, his face was flushed and he was refusing to make eye-contact with him. Quite frankly, the sight made him nervous too, for a strange reason he couldn’t quite understand. Realising he had been staring far too long to be socially acceptable he coughs into his hand. 

“Yeah, things ended earlier than expected,” he lies easily, deciding that Kai didn’t need to know the real reason as to why he stormed out of Eva’s dorm room. It was something he was willing to take to the grave. “You were getting bored without me?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Considering just how many people Kai spoke to on a daily basis it was strange that he was feeling bored without his presence. Damon simply assumed that whenever he wasn’t around the influencer messaged his other friends or created content for his social media page. The fact that was bored without him was definitely odd–but it also made him feel somewhat pleased.

“Yeah!” Kai stutters nervously, sauntering over to his bed to pick up what looks to be a book before heading back over to where he was standing and handing it out to him. “I actually wanted to, uhm, give you this–” he stammers, not even looking in his general direction.

Damon looks down at the book and his eyes immediately widen. “How did you know I wanted this?” he mumbles incredulously, a state of confusion coming over his face. 

Kai gulps. “J-just take the book already, jeez!” he whines, an almost upset look on his face as he shoves the book closer to him, edging him to take it from him. “Unless you don’t want it, I guess,” he mumbles awkwardly. 

Damon sighs, taking the book from Kai’s hands, their fingers brushing against one another for a split second. He desperately tries to ignore the way his heart stutters at the small touch. 

Damon glances down at the cover, swallowing the lump in his throat. It was the newest book from an ongoing series he had been reading ever since it debuted a few years ago. The newest volume had recently come out and whilst he really wanted to pick up a copy–he simply didn't have the time to.

“I, uh, overheard you talking to Eva about it a few days ago,” Kai interrupts, bringing Damon out of his thoughts. He was playing with his rings, something he did whenever he was noticeably anxious. Not that Damon had been paying enough attention to pick up on that, of course. “I thought it might be a nice surprise..” he mutters. 

Damon blinks. "That's..." he pauses, unable to find the words to express just how he was feeling. “Thank you, Kai, that's really considerate of you,” he says, a small smile overcoming his face. 

Kai waves his hands, laughing nervously. “Yeah, no problem, man!” he stammers, yet his eyes soften at the sight of him smiling. “I just happened to see it for sale when I was shopping yesterday..” he rambles, giving a nervous smile. 

Damon nods. “I didn't know you paid any attention to my interests so it's a pleasant surprise, I'll admit,” he explains, placing the book down on his desk. “I'll have to pay you back some time,” 

As kind as the gesture from Kai was, it did leave Damon feeling slightly guilty. Despite getting closer to his roommate over the past couple of months, his heart noticeably warmed for someone who seemed so distant; he realised he knew very little about Kai's interests outside of influencing. 

Kai talked a lot, that was for sure. Yet somehow all these conversations lacked any certainty of what his interests were. Most of the time he discussed their classmates' own lives or ongoing internet drama that he had no interest in keeping up with. Simple, low effort topics that he didn’t feel inclined to contribute to. 

Just how he liked it. Somehow, he had a feeling that Kai knew this about him–that he wasn't all that interested in what he talked about. So he chose conversation topics that he could carry, that required little effort to keep up with besides chipping in every now and then. 

Perhaps this was why he rarely talked about his own interests outside of social media. It made Damon feel strangely guilty, as if he had limited their friendship.  

Kai shakes his head, rubbing the back of his head. “You don’t need to pay me back, Damon” he exclaims, a cheerful smile on his face. “I just wanted to do something nice for my roommate, you feel me?”

Damon purses his lips before shaking his own head. It was extremely rare for him to initiate meetups amongst his friends; it was no different with Kai. But today he felt as if he owed the influencer a hangout, and he realises that he wouldn't really mind spending time with him anyway. 

After all, Kai had been spending a lot of time with their other classmates recently instead of himself. Not that it mattered, of course–he just felt a tinge of jealousy. 

“Would you like to spend some time together this weekend?” Damon blurts out when he realises he's been silent for far too long. Suddenly he remembers Kai off-handly mentioning wanting to go shopping recently. “We could go to the Christmas market, if you'd like,” 

It's only then that Damon realises his proposal sounds more like a date than simply a platonic hangout between two good friends. It wasn't, of course–there's no way he was about to let Toshiko’s delusions get to him.

There’s a moment of silence where Kai’s eyes widen, his face flushing beet red as he opens his mouth in an attempt to say something. “H-huh?” he stammers, a bead of sweat dripping down his face. “What do you mean by that, Damon?” he asks nervously. “Wait–this isn’t s-some kinda date is it?!” he blabbers. 

Now it’s Damon’s turn to flush with embarrassment, something he desperately tries to conceal by coughing into his hand and clearing his throat. “No, of course not,” he counters, yet he hardly sounds convincing. “I just wanted to pay you back for the gift and we haven’t spent a lot of time together recently,” he mumbles, hoping his defense sounded good enough. 

Kai looks at him unconvincingly. “Alright, whatever you say, dude..” he mutters, biting his lip anxiously. “B-but if you wanted to take me out you don’t have to sound so embarrassed, heh!” he teases, nervous laughter spilling out as he tries to give an unconvincing smirk. 

Damon furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “I wasn’t asking you on a date,” he grumbles, shaking his head in defeat. 

Kai nods enthusiastically, waving his hands in the air. “I get it!” he stutters, looking down at the ground. “But..” he begins, swallowing loudly. “People might, ah, think we’re on a date if we do go out together, y’know?” he whispers meekly, looking up at him with a nervous look on his face. 

Kai wasn’t entirely wrong unfortunately, there were some people who would take one look at them and assume that they were dating. In fact, he already knew two individuals who were certain that he harboured romantic feelings for Kai so the possibility wasn’t farfetched to say the least. 

Damon sighs, rubbing at his temple. “If people assume that we’re on a date then so be it,” he responds, trying to ignore the way his chest tightens at the thought of people assuming that they were in a relationship. He clears his throat. “We shouldn’t let baseless accusations speculating our relationship affect our friendship, it’s pointless,” he explains, trying to keep a calm and steady face. 

Despite claiming that they shouldn’t let any accusations get to them, Damon couldn’t lie and say that Toshiko’s words weren’t affecting him. It was utterly infuriating, allowing her words to get into his head–especially when they weren’t true. Yet somehow they were. 

Kai nods, sighing softly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right!” he chuckles nervously. “I just hope no one spreads any rumours about us, trust me, I know how annoying they can be,” he pouts, shaking his head. 

Damon didn’t doubt for a moment that people have spread tasteless rumours about Kai before; it was only natural considering how popular of an influencer he was. All he could hope was that if rumours did go around about their relationship, it didn’t reach Toshiko. 

“I’m sure they won’t,” Damon says in an attempt to reassure Kai although he’s not fully convinced himself that rumours wouldn't go around about the two of them. “If anything does happen I'll refute their statements in an instant,” If nothing, debating with others was the one thing Damon was skilled at, and he knew that if it came too–he would be willing to debate any of his classmates. 

Kai smiles at this, laughing quietly. “Yeah, I’m sure you will!” he teases, patting him on the shoulder. “Well if that’s the case should we go tomorrow evening?” he asks, cocking his head to the side, placing a hand on his chin. “I think that’s when it should be the best, at least,”

Damon hums, deciding to go along with Kai’s idea. If he was being completely honest he knew little to nothing about what the Christmas market was offering since the decision to hang out with the other man had come to him on a whim. It occurs to him only now that he should probably look into it. 

“Yes, that works with me,” he answers. 

Kai grins. “Awesome!” he cheers, his eyes almost glistening as he talks enthusiastically. It makes Damon feel strange, once again. Yet it wasn't an uncomfortable nor an unwelcome feeling, just one he couldn't yet place his finger on.

“I'm looking forward to it,” he replies earnestly, and he means it. 

The Christmas market was a lot busier than both Damon and Kai had expected. It was already beginning to get dark out by the time they had arrive and if not for the multitude of decorative fairy lights illuminating the streets it would be completely pitch dark.

People were crowded everywhere, and seemed to lack any spatial awareness whatsoever. It had only been a matter of minutes since their arrival and they'd already risked being separated on numerous different occasions. 

“Ugh, it's so busy!” Kai whines, a childish little pout forming on his face as he glares at yet another person who just shoved into his side. “Seriously, can people pay attention to their surroundings for just one minute!” He complains, shaking his head. 

Damon can't help but agree. “I knew the market was popular but I wasn't expecting it to be this busy,” he mumbles, glancing over at the crowd. He’s about to suggest that they go back to their dorms, perhaps return at a later date when it would be less busy—but he doesn’t get that chance. 

Kai grabs his hand; interlocking their hands together as he leans up closer to his side, their shoulders brushing up against another.  

“Huh?"

“D-don’t make it weird, okay!–” Kai cuts in before he can say anything, a look of embarrassment plastered over his face as he averts eye contact. “It’s just so we don’t get split up tonight, you know?” he mumbles, and Damon notices just how nervous he is–his sweaty hands were proof enough of that.

Damon’s chest tightens and he sucks in a breath, ignoring the way his cheeks flush at the sudden touch. Kai was right, it shouldn’t be strange, purely practical. It wasn’t unreasonable to say that they were less likely to lose each other in the crowd.

“Right,” Damon mumbles, swallowing the lump in his throat. “It does make sense,” he mutters, trying to find some justification behind the sudden intimate touch and ignore the way his heart was beating uncontrollably. 

Kai nods. “Yeah!” he chuckles nervously, giving him a small smile. “By the way, what exactly do we do at these sorts of things?” he asks sheepishly, glancing at the amass of different stalls lining the streets. “I’ve never been to a Christmas market before..” 

Damon blinks. “Really?” he asks, shocked that the influencer had never been to such a place. It seemed like a hotspot to go for making social media posts, after all, so he assumed he had been at least once. “I usually go every year with my family, a tradition of sorts,” he hums, smiling fondly at the memories. 

“Oh? So you’re an expert in this sort of stuff then, hm?” Kai teases, giggling to himself as they begin to make their way down the street. A sad sigh escapes his lips. “My family never took me out to places like this so I don’t know much about them myself..” he reminisces quietly.  

Damon doesn't know what to say to that. It wasn't very often that Kai opened up about his life outside of being an influencer; in fact, he's not sure he's ever mentioned his family before. It's not like he's going to push, though, it's none of his business. 

“I suppose we could check out some of the food stalls,” he mutters, suddenly feeling quite hungry. The enticing aroma from all the different food stands was beginning to take its effect on him and the sound of a nice warm meal didn't sound all that bad. “Is there anything you're in the mood for?” 

“Mm..” Kai ponders, looking over at the different stands, a determined look on his face. Clearly he was taking this decision very seriously. “Ah, look, they have crepes over there!” he exclaims enthusiastically, pointing off into the distance. There was this almost childlike wonder in his eyes as he dragged Damon through the crowd, swerving through the sea of families and couples alike.

“Eh?!” Damon can’t help the noise of surprise that escapes his lips as the influencer pulls at his hand, his grip tightening ever so slightly to make sure they don’t lose one another. In any other circumstance Damon might have been annoyed at the action. But for whatever reason, when it’s Kai–who’s looking at him with such innocence and excitement in his eyes; he can’t help but feel warm.

But Kai wasn’t paying attention to Damon’s surprised face. Instead, he was practically bouncing on his heels as he scanned the menu in front of him, intently analysing the different topping and syrup options for the crepes. 

“Ugh, there’s so many different options..” he whines, taking a step back. “Damon, what should I get?” he asks, looking at him expectantly. 

He looks like a helpless puppy.

Damon shakes his head. “I don't know,” he responds, not really sure what was being asked of him. “Get whatever you want..” he mumbles, sighing at the others indecisiveness. 

Kai pouts at his refusal. “But I can't decide which one I want more!” He complains, a sigh escaping his lips. “Strawberries and cream or chocolate and cherry..” he mumbles, an inquisitive look on his face. 

Damon grunts. “I'll get the chocolate and cherry crepe and you get the strawberries and cream one,” he says diligently. “We can share them together,” he adds on, suddenly feeling quite nervous. 

Kai blinks. “Really?” He says before chuckling to himself softly. “Man, you're a lot nicer than you let on, you know that, right?” he hums, flashing him a small smile. If it wasn't so dark then perhaps he'd notice the blush dusting his cheeks. 

Damon furrows his eyebrows at this, not quite understanding what the other man was implying with his words. Kai believed that he was a lot nicer than he let on?

 No. That wasn't right. 

Damon was only this considerate around Kai. If it had been anyone else the thought of sharing crepes wouldn't have even crossed his mind. But that was normal, right? Kai was his closest friend after all.

Before he can dwell on it further he's being pulled into the line and soon enough they're at the front of the queue. 

Damon offers to pay for the two of them much to Kai's dismay as he hands over the other's crepe as they begin to walk away from the stand. In the end they find themselves pushed up against a shop building wall, the space notably quieter than the rest of the market. 

“Ah, this is so good!” Kai affirms, a wide grin on his face as he takes a large bite from his crepe; licking a stray blob of cream off his lips in the process. “Mm–” 

Damon can't help but stare, the chocolate and cherry crepe forgotten in his hand as he watches. “Huh..” he finds himself muttering under his breath, a wave of anxiety coursing through his veins. 

Kai continues to smile as he works through his snack, taking small bites from the little fresh strawberries; licking up any berry juice on his lips in delight as he savours each bite. 

Damon gulps. What was wrong with him? 

“Damon?” Kai's curious voice brings him off his quite frankly deplorable thoughts and he blinks, recognising that the influencer is now pouting at him, a common occurrence, really. “If you're not gonna eat yours at least give me a bite..” he grumbles, leaning over and taking a small, conservative bite from his crepe. 

Damon's breath hitches as the other man leans over and takes a bite; flashing him a cheeky smile before he straightens back up. Once again, he observes the childlike wonder on Kai's face, unable to stop himself from staring at the way his eyes light up as he chews on his sweet treat. 

“You didn't have to lean over–” Damon chokes out, taking a deep breath in an attempt to collect himself. “I would have just handed it over..” he grumbles, a soft sigh escaping his lips. 

Kai rolls his eyes, shaking his head diligently. “I'm holding your hand so it wouldn't have been exactly easy,” he explains, licking up some of the cream from his own crepe. “It's tasty, by the way!” 

Damon hums quietly, unsure of how to correctly respond to his words. Instead, he wordlessly takes a bite from his own crepe and his heart involuntarily skips a beat as he's reminded that just moments ago the other man's lips were pressed against his food.

Seriously, what on earth was going on with him recently? 

For the next few minutes the two work their way through their respective crepes with Kai sometimes leaning over to steal a bite from the cherry and chocolate one in his hand, a pleased smile on his face as he does so.

Eventually they finish their snacks and they throw away the rubbish into the nearest bin. It was a warm, sweet treat that instantly filled the two men up; the perfect substitute for a meal while at a Christmas market.

It's as they're getting ready to leave that Damon notices a blob of cream on Kai's cheek. It was small, hardly noticeable unless you paid close attention–which he was not doing. It just so happened he picked up on it when the other man smiled in his direction. 

Ah, it must have gotten on his cheek while he was eating. 

Now, the normal thing to do in this situation would be to inform the other person about the cream on their cheeks, perhaps provide them with a tissue to wipe it off with if they were lacking. 

Damon usually regarded himself as most people. If it were anyone else he would be most people, in fact he wouldn't even offer a napkin to the majority of people. 

But this was Kai Monteago, and for some reason he had Damon's head in a complete and utter mess, tangled up in wires that he couldn’t fix no matter how much he fought with them. A pathetic mess at that–one that he was quite humiliated to admit. 

One that had him feeling and behaving in ways he couldn't quite understand. 

Without thinking he leans over to Kai, wobbling slightly as the foot furthest from the influencer lifts off the ground to better reach his face. Within a matter of seconds he swipes his thumb across his cheek, removing the cream off from it before returning to his original position.  

Ah, now I've got cream on my finger.

Damon shoots Kai an apologetic look; desperately trying to ignore the dazed look on his roommate's face before he rather embarrassingly licks the cream off from his finger. 

A beat of silence passes. 

“My apologies,” Damon mumbles after a few uncomfortable moments of silence between the pair. “I should have just told you there was cream on your cheeks instead–” he cuts himself off, suddenly feeling rather lightheaded. If he wasn't blushing already he absolutely was now. 

“You licked it from your finger..” Kai stutters, voice barely above a whisper as Damon wills himself to look over at his roommate. His eyes were wide shot open, like he couldn’t believe what had just happened–which was completely understandable. His free hand came to brush against the cheek that Damon had swiped the cream from. 

“You–!” he stammers once again, struggling to find his words; and there's an annoyingly perfectly pink blush dusting his cheeks that Damon tries to ignore as he frowns at his roommate's expression. 

“I was being inappropriate, I apologise,” he mutters, internally scolding himself for his actions. It was a strange thing, but he felt horrendously guilty and rather embarrassed over his actions. 

What did this mean for his and Kai's friendship? Had he seriously just ruined it over a bit of cream?

“Damon–” Kai begins, voice still shaky. “A-Are you sure this isn't a date?” he asks softly, eyebrows furrowing as he stares at him curiously, like a lost puppy.

“What..?” Is all Damon can muster, his voice coming out weak and honestly rather pathetic. 

“You said it wasn't but..” he begins quietly, eyes darting around the space and he looks notably jittery. “You took me to a Christmas market where we're holding hands..” he stammers, failing to mention the part where it was his idea to hold hands. “you brought me two crepes ‘cus I wanted to try both and now.. this?”

“I'm not..” Damon pauses, at a loss for words. Once again Kai Monteago has rendered him speechless as he tries to find an excuse for his actions, anything to justify the strangely intimate moment the two had just shared. 

It was impossible. It wasn’t his intention–to come across this way, yet somehow he has. “I can promise you that this isn’t a date,” he responds sternly, his only course of action being to deny, deny, deny.

It’s then he’s reminded of Toshiko’s words from last night.

“I cannot believe you've failed to see the ways in which you treat Kai differently to all of us,” 

It’s an unwanted, involuntary thought that has him flushing within an instant as he tears his eyes from Kai’s adoring face; instead they land on their hands–which were still very much interlocked. Damon shudders, taking a deep breath as he tries to calm his beating heart. 

This wasn’t a date and his actions didn’t suggest in any way whatsoever that he harboured romantic feelings for his roommate. 

“Damon?” Kai’s worried voice is what brings him out of his thoughts and his head snaps up to look back at the concerned face of his roommate, a painstakingly cute pout on his face. “I’m sorry for thinking it was a date...I just–” he pauses, looking away shyly before speaking again, just much quieter. “I don’t think anyone’s ever treated me like this before and I guess I got the wrong idea,” he mumbles. 

Damon’s eyes widen as he listens to Kai speak and he very quickly notices the tears welling up in his eyes as he sniffles and it sends a pang through his heart. He didn’t like seeing the other upset like this–not one bit. 

Damon shakes his head. “Why on earth are you apologising?” he asks sternly, an annoyed look present on his face. He sighs, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “If anything I'm the one who should be apologising for touching you that way..” he murmurs, furrowing his eyebrows. “I don’t usually act this way around others–I’m not sure what came over me,” 

Kai gasps and his eyes widen as he looks up at Damon, his lower lip trembling. “It’s alright, Damon,” he says nervously, laughing wetly as he blinks through his tears. “It’s not as if I disliked the touch or anything..” he whispers, his breath hitching. “I just wasn’t expecting it I guess,” he hums and gives him a small smile. 

Damon coughs into his free hand, trying to free himself from the nerves bubbling in his chest as he stares at his roommate’s pitiful expression. “I-I see, then I suppose that’s alright,” he responds, taking the time to gather his composure. “Uh, do you want to get going now?” he asks, taking the opportunity to change the topic. 

Kai’s eyes light up at this and he nods enthusiastically. “Ah, yeah!” he says excitedly, his previous anxiety seemingly forgotten about, although there’s still a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “I want to get the best out of this trip,” he hums and without warning he tugs at Damon’s hand and once again starts pulling him through the crowd. 

Damon nods silently and follows Kai’s lead, figuring it would be best to keep his mouth shut to avoid any uncomfortable conversations. 

Kai didn’t dislike the touch?

It’s something that replays through Damon’s mind the rest of the evening as he’s pulled through crowds by an overly excited Kai; unable to stop the small, warm smile from coming over him. 

It made his heart stutter, hearing that his touch wasn’t necessarily unwelcomed–just unexpected. It didn’t make logical sense as Kai’s reception to the touch shouldn’t matter to him whatsoever. It wasn’t as if he was planning on touching him so intimately again. So why on earth did he feel so content knowing that if he were to touch him again–he wouldn’t be disgusted. 

As a whole Damon’s behaviour towards his roommate all evening had him feeling so strange, so uncomfortable–vulnerable. It wasn’t like him to be so forthcoming to another person, allow them to pull him along and treat them with such warmth and kindness that he’s only ever shown within the comfort of his own parents. 

Perhaps Toshiko’s words were finally starting to get to him, her grating words playing on repeat in his mind all evening, oppressively. It made him feel sick. 

“I have seen the ways in which you stare longingly into Kai’s eyes as if he is your treasure,” 

Damon sucks in a breath, shaking his head as he tries to rid himself from the thoughts invading his mind. It couldn’t be true; had he developed romantic feelings for his roommate? 

“A-Are you sure this isn't a date?”

Damon could feel a headache coming on, his thoughts far too loud for just how late it was in the evening. 

Instead of focusing on his brain he decides to focus on something else; on his roommate. How ironic, the sole person that could distract him from his troubling thoughts was the cause for them in the first place. 

It had grown pitch dark by now as they were heading back to their dormitory building, their night having ended on a surprisingly positive note, all things considered. Both men were exhausted, especially Damon who had, unsuccessfully been trying to silence his brain.

Whilst Damon’s exhaustion seemed to be mental; Kai’s was evidently physical. 

Despite being nowhere near the market anymore, having dispersed from the crowd at least ten minutes ago–their hands were still interlinked and neither Damon nor Kai showed any sign of letting go. In fact, every so often Kai would gently squeeze his hand, almost nervously, as if reminding himself that he was still there–that he wasn’t leaving. 

But that wasn’t just it. 

Kai was practically slouched against him, his head drooping to the ground as he forced himself to stay awake; his movement slow and sluggish. Another yawn escapes his lips as his eyes close for a few seconds longer than normal, only opening to look up at Damon, sending him an apologetic smile. 

The market must have really exhausted him. Who would have thought it?

It’s a sorry thought really, seeing his roommate reduced to a helpless pile of mush as he relies on him to even move a few steps. It wasn’t very often he got to see the usually overly energetic influencer so exhausted and it wasn’t an unwelcome sight. 

In fact it was almost endearing, it had his eyes softening uncharacteristically as he guided him through the streets, not missing the quiet whines escaping lips as he was tugged along. Cute.

It was a strange feeling bubbling in his chest, pride perhaps, at being the one that his roommate was relying on to walk; that no one else but he could see him in such a pitiful, helpless state.

The thought that anyone else could see him caused a pit in his stomach. It was strange, but he didn't like it–the idea of someone seeing the most vulnerable sides of Kai. But why was he concerned over something so trivial? It was something that shouldn't matter at all; something insignificant that he shouldn't care about.  

But Damon does care. He cares a lot, actually. He frowns. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

It was jealousy, that’s what he was feeling bubbling up within his chest. Damon felt jealous at the thought of anyone else seeing his roommate like this; felt irritation that there was a chance that someone other than him already had. 

It's then that it hits him–and it hits him hard. 

Damon was in love. Damon was so in love in fact that he’s not even surprised his friends had begun to pick up on his feelings. It was glaringly, uncomfortably, annoyingly obvious that he was so attached to the pink haired man holding his hand as they trudged down the hallway and towards their room. 

Toshiko was right in saying that he had feelings for Kai and it didn’t piss him off as much as it should have. 

Oh god. Oh no. This wasn’t really happening, was it?

“Damon, are we nearly back?” The sound of Kai whining brings him out of his thoughts, causing him to look over at the other man who was still leaning into him; pressing all of his weight against his side. “My legs are totally killing me and I think I'll pass out soon,” he groans, shaking his head slowly. 

Damon nods, deciding to pick up the pace for he doesn't want to deal with the consequences of his roommate passing out in the hallway. “Yeah, just a little longer,” he mumbles, still very much stuck in his head, his mind swirling with thoughts about Kai. About his newfound feelings for his best friend. 

Does Kai feel the same way for me as I do him? 

It's not long before they reach their shared  dorm room and with just a small amount of struggle, Damon is able to open the door and essentially drag Kai into the room. He promptly shuts it, locking it behind him before letting out a small sigh.

Should I ever tell him about these feelings or should I just push them down? 

Damon pulls Kai over to his bed and sits him down; finally letting go of his hand as he towers over his slumped form.

“Are you even conscious anymore?” Damon asks sarcastically, a small smirk on his face as he gently shakes his roommate who responds with a small whine, weakly slapping his hand away. “I didn't think a market could exhaust someone so much,” 

“Shut up, asshole” Kai groans dramatically, lifting his head up to look at him–a small, endearing smile on his face. “I guess I just had too much fun,” he chuckles, a hand coming over to cover his mouth as he yawns, something that Damon does not find adorable. “It's nice, getting to spend time with you,” he mumbles nervously, a small blush dusting his cheeks. 

Damon watches closely, silently. His eyes widen and a sudden warmth rushes over him within an instant at the mention of the other man enjoying their outing. It has his skin tingling, feeling hot and prickly. “I'm glad,” he responds, a small, shaky breath escaping his lips. “I suppose I also enjoyed our time together,” he mutters, coughing awkwardly into his hand. 

This behaviour was not normal for him in the slightest.

Kai, despite being utterly exhausted, brightens at this and his eye's twinkle, as if he had just won the lottery. “Seriously?! Y-you’re not joking, are you?” He asks, a look of surprise coming over his face. “I can't believe that ‘the’ Damon Maitsu enjoys spending time with his roommate!” he teases, smirking. “It's a miracle!” 

Damon scoffs, rolling his eyes at Kai's playful jabs. He shoves him once more only to be met with a fit of giggles from his roommate who suddenly seemed to be hyper aware of his surroundings; a stark contrast from only moments ago. 

“You act like I'm completely incapable of having fun, you know?” he shakes his head, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he watches as his friend continues to giggle, failing miserably at his weak attempts to stifle his laughter. “Aren’t you supposed to be tired, by the way?” he asks cockily, raising an eyebrow. 

Kai freezes, any further teasing comments die on his tongue and he blinks up at him, a nervous, guilty laugh spilling out of his lips as he lifts a hand to cover his mouth. “M-maybe, but whenever I talk to you I guess I just feel super awake all of a sudden,” he explains nervously, his lower lip shaking. “It’s weird b-but it’s like I could stay awake all night talking to you–” 

“Huh,” he mumbles, staring down at his roommate, somewhat surprised by his admission.

It was strange, hearing someone admit that listening to him talk gave them energy; made them want to stay awake. Unless it was an opponent or someone actively choosing to listen into his debates, most people got bored by his company quickly.

It was a tendency of his as an argumentative individual, to push others away due to his cold words and harsh truths. It was rare that people stuck around to listen, even rarer that it was someone like Kai. But then again he found that they were both more similar in ways he couldn’t fully grasp yet. 

“Well I wouldn’t recommend it, personally,” he responds, suppressing a yawn. “I think it’d be smartest if we started getting ready for sleep,” he suggests, glancing over at the clock on his bedside table. 

“I don't wanna move,” Kai whines pathetically, like a child as he stares up at him with those puppy-like eyes, blinking them adoringly up at him, hoping. 

Always scheming something, huh?

Damon scoffs, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “I'm not helping you get ready, you're more than capable of doing it yourself,” he scolds him gently, far too tired to engage in a proper argument so late into the evening. 

At least that's what he tells himself. It's certainly not sudden affection for the influencer creeping its way into his system, slipping out unwillingly, unexpectedly. 

Kai pouts and crosses his arms over his chest like a petulant child, muttering something incomprehensible under his breath as he lifts himself off his bed, stretching his arms into the air and yawning once again. Tears prick his eyes, his exhaustion evident as his shirt rides up, exposing his stomach in the process.

Damon sucks in a breath and shakes his head, willing his eyes away from his roommate's body and instead over to his pyjamas folded neatly on his bed, something he had prepared before their trip to the market knowing they’d likely have a late arrival. A scowl comes over him as he brushes his hands over the fabric, nails digging into the soft material; a tight, unwavering grip. 

What the hell was going on with him? Is this what it means to be in love?

Never has Damon had such intimate thoughts about other people, has never felt the blood rush to his cheeks over another man like a lovestruck high-schooler. It felt inconceivable, an impossible feat considering just who he was. A dignified young man who never let his vulnerable emotions come rushing to the surface, a protective barrier holding them back; it stood strong, sturdy and unwavering.

Yet somehow Kai had managed to collapse that barrier, the destruction of a dam, so sudden and unexpected yet so catastrophic to his mind. Damon had never fallen in love before, not once, he had held his ground and protected that dam with all his might. So why could someone like Kai, someone so bright, so loud, so different from him, break that. 

And why didn’t he mind as much as he should?

Distracting himself from his inner turmoil he decides to head into the bathroom and change into his nightwear, figuring it would be in his favour to simply sleep on his thoughts for the night. In the morning when his head ached just a little less and his mind was less cluttered with thoughts of infectious laughter and golden rings upon soft hands could he dwell on his feelings.

By the time he leaves the bedroom Kai has also changed into his pajamas, removed his assortment of rings, all that held sentimental value to him and placed them all neatly on his bedside. A yawn escapes his lips as he plops down on the edge of his bed, weakly clutching his sheets. 

“Going to bed now?” Damon asks as he walks over to his bed, also sitting down on the edge to face his roommate who looked more out of it than anything. If he didn’t know any better he’d assume he was sleepwalking. “I think you need the sleep,” he advises, a frown on his face.

Kai lets out an unintelligible mumble but dosn’t disagree. Instead, he flops onto his bed, not even bothering to climb under the covers and promptly passes out. Just like that, with his face smushed into his pillow as soft snores escape his lips.

I can’t see his face.

Damon pauses. “Seriously?” he murmurs, surprised but also impressed at just how quickly his roommate fell asleep, especially in such an unconventional position. He sighs, shaking his head as a small smile comes over him. 

“Good night, Kai,” he mutters before climbing under the covers of his own bed and falling asleep.

Monday comes quickly and Damon finds himself in an uncomfortable situation; one that he never once imagined himself being in. He can’t focus in his classes and it’s something so uncharacteristic of him, a pounding headache coming on as he once again tries to keep his eyes on the brightly lit screen of his laptop in front of him, staring with unfocused eyes at his near empty document. 

A sigh escapes his lips as he resigns himself to his fate. It’s a good thing that this professor put their lectures online to be viewed after classes, meaning he could at least take notes later. It’s not ideal considering just how many assignments he has due; piling up like he’s never seen before, daunting and without a clue where to start. 

A late night library visit seemed to be in his cards, apparently. 

Although he found himself not bothering the idea all that much. It was because he knew that even if he overworked himself to the bone, something he was more than capable of doing when hyperfocused on his work, there would be someone to pull him out of his study craze. 

Kai.

It was perhaps a bit selfish, relying on his roommate so much. Usually he'd be against such a thing, finding it rather insulting being a man of his age and having to rely on others to take care of himself when he was very much capable of doing so by himself. But when it was with Kai it was different. He didn't mind being taken care of. 

It's ironic though. Ironic because the cause of his distraction, of his pounding headache and inability to focus was Kai Monteago. Yet he was also the cure of his one in a million disease; the sickly sweet, addictive medicine that he couldn’t stop himself from taking. Constantly reaching for more, overdosing on that dizzy feeling he got whenever he was in the same room as him. 

Kai was the life-threatening disease breaking him down into nothing but a hopeless mess of feelings he can’t describe into words but he was also the only cure in the world; the one thing able to keep him from sinking.

Ever since Saturday night and their ‘not a date’ to the Christmas Market all Damon's been able to think about is Kai. It's at least three thoughts an hour, he's calculated, that the pink haired man pops into his mind against his will. (Although that’s all he’s willing to admit to.)

It's even worse constantly being in the presence of him. Such as it is now, in their final lesson of the day. 

All day he's been unable to focus on anything but warm smiles, yawns that he wouldn't dare admit out loud were adorable and cheerful laughter that he tries to muffle by placing a hand to his lips; everything. Details he would never once care to take notice of, he suddenly cares about.  

Currently Kai had his head resting on his hand, a small pout forming on his lips as he stares mindlessly at the board in front of him, unblinking. Clearly he wasn't retaining any of the information being presented to him, something that Damon’s ashamed to admit he very much understands at the moment. 

It was a challenge for Damon to tear his gaze off from him for even a minute. All he could do was watch the other safely from afar, at the back of the classroom where prying eyes couldn't judge his questionable decisions. (Or at least that's what he hoped for.) 

Is this what Toshiko would call yearning? 

The jealous feeling hasn't dissipated either; instead it sat uncomfortably in his stomach, bubbling up whenever the influencer spoke to someone other than him. 

It was a new feeling within him that he almost resents, unsavoury thoughts plaguing his mind as he watches the other speak so cheerfully to Diana. It wormed its way into his mind; infected his every thought like a deadly plague, unwanted symptoms of resentment and disdain to anyone who spoke to him that wasn't himself. 

It was completely unreasonable. It was selfish, really, a disgustingly selfish plague he couldn't rid himself of no matter how much he tried to ignore it. 

Diana was in a relationship with Eva. It made no sense for him to develop such a sickness over someone who posed no threat to him whatsoever. Especially someone as carefree and kind as the cosmetologist who had taken his friend by storm.

So why was Damon so jealous? 

But it wasn't just jealousy that was troubling him–it was much worse. It was as if the disease was spreading, mutating at a concerning rate into feelings of emptiness, swallowing him whole.

It was nearly Christmas break at Eden’s Academy. Three short weeks remained of the term before they broke up for a fortnight. He should be excited. Under most circumstances he would be because it means reuniting with his family after being separated for so long. But it also means that whilst he'll be reunited with his parents he'll also be separated from Kai for two whole weeks. 

The thought alone made his heart ache selfishly. 

Damon could have never imagined himself behaving like this before. It was a strange thing to come to terms with; behaving like some sort of foolish, brainless idiot in love for the first time. Ever someone who rolled his eyes and mocked his friends who were in love he never believed that he would be the on in those love-struck shoes. Once a refined man dumbed down all thanks to a pink haired influencer. 

(He makes a mental note to never tell Eva the full extent of his feelings for she would never let him live it down, being the victim of his relentless teasing when he found out she was in love with Diana.) 

The sound of the bell ringing is what brings him out of his turmoil as he realises that class has already ended. Over an hour of lecturing in which new content was presented to him and not once did he pay attention, take notes or even consider what the teacher was saying. 

All he could think about was Kai. 

A scowl appears on his face he begins to pack up his belongings, hazingly throwing them into his bag with little to no regard, unconcerned whether or not they were damaged in the process. Usually he would have at least some precision when it came to something like this but with his mind so cluttered he found his physical belongings to resemble his mind in more than one way. 

All he wanted to do was leave the overcrowded classroom he was stuck in, sticky and humid despite the near freezing temperatures outside. Although perhaps that was due to his growing nerves, finding it hard to breathe as he glances over in Kai’s direction, watching as he chats idly to Diana, a small frown on his face as he does so.

Damon sighs, forcing himself to think of anything but his roommate. Unfortunately for Damon, however, the world seemed to have other plans for him, and those plans all involved Kai Monteago for some unknown reason. 

“Damon!” 

A loud, shrill voice calls out to him and when he turns to face the person in question he immediately wishes he stayed home from classes today. It’s none other than Toshiko Kayura sauntering over to his desk, a mischievous glint in her eyes; if it wasn’t for the fan covering her face he’s sure she’d be smirking at him. 

Of course it’s her. 

“Toshiko,” he responds dryly, staring up at her with cold eyes. If her quiet giggles were anything to go by he can guess that whatever she’s about to inquire about is his relationship with his roommate, curious as ever. Ultimate Matchmaker or not, Damon doesn’t appreciate people invading his privacy.

Especially when he’s in the midst of some sort of mid-life crisis. Except he’s not middle aged but a healthy, eighteen year old man with his whole future ahead of him and the cause of his crisis was an annoyingly alluring pink haired influencer. 

“I happened to overhear Kai talking about a trip to the Christmas market in town this weekend earlier on,” she says quietly, having at least some respect for him as the influencer was in fact still in the room. “If I remember correctly he mentioned that you were the one who invited him, Mochi,” she recalls, blinking her eyes innocently at him as if she’s not just ruined his day. 

So that’s what he was talking about, huh.

Damon nods. “Yes, that would be correct, what about it?” he answers, opting for short, information lacking replies that don’t reveal any of his true feelings, far too dangerous to risk opening up about the fondness growing for the boy on the other side of the room.

Honestly he's sure he’d combust if he heard even an inkling about his recent discoveries. 

Toshiko snickers quietly. “Oh my, there’s no need to be so defensive, Mochi!” she teases, fanning herself dramatically as she stares directly into his eyes. It was obvious she was fishing for details, not even bothering to hide her curiosity.

Damon wishes for nothing but to sink into the ground where soft laughter and warm smiles couldn’t reach him; cold to the touch golden rings that he slipped onto soft fingers in the night, contact that lasted a mere two seconds yet felt like a lifetime to him. No, he couldn’t cope with it. 

“I’m curious as to if this little outing was a date, hm?” Toshiko inquires, her voice quieting even further as she utters those final words. 

Damon clenches his fists. “No it was not,” he denies, unable to hide his irritation. But whether that irritation came from Toshiko’s comment or something else, something he couldn’t yet grasp he was unsure. 

“Apparently he thought it was a date, though,” he adds quietly and he can feel his face warming but he doesn’t let it show. 

Toshiko seems surprised by this but she quickly covers it up with pure, unadulterated excitement. “I am curious as to what happened on this outing for him to come to that conclusion,” she inquires, laughing softly. “Although I suppose for as stubborn as a man you are you won’t be giving me any details?” 

“You’d be correct,” Damon responds through clenched teeth. As long as Kai was in the room he would not be giving up any information. 

Naturally this was the moment that Kai decided to leave the classroom, followed in suit by Diana and Eva. This time his face looks less upset and instead more whiny, pouting as he responds to what he can only assume was a teasing comment made by Eva. 

Damon can't bring himself to tear his eyes from his face, watching as he heads out the door. Even after he's long gone and the quiet laughter has died out he still finds himself staring.

“Oh my goodness,” Toshiko’s voice is what brings him out of his daze. Immediately his head snaps around to face her and he frowns at the way she is looking at him; mischievous as ever as she flutters her eyes at him. 

“What?” Damon snaps.

Toshiko giggles. “You really are infatuated with Kai Monteago aren't you!” she exclaims, not trying to hide her excitement nor quiet her words now that they were alone. “It's sweet but also terribly painful,” she sighs softly, shaking her head. 

“Young love..” she whispers mournfully like an old lady listening to their grandchild harp on about their middle-school crush. 

Isn't she fourteen? 

But Damon can't deny it. As much as he wants to it's unfortunately true; it seems he has fallen in love with his roommate. As little as he understood how romance worked even he couldn't deny the ever growing feelings within his chest. 

It was as if flowers were blooming within his chest, vines and petals alike corroding his internal organs; intertwining, tangling around his lungs, trachea and finally his heart. All working in union to constrict his ability to breath, leaving him completely and utterly useless in the presence of his roommate–a socially awkward and uncomfortable mess, coughing into his hand just to defer attention away from his flustered expression. 

Damon didn't know what to do. 

“Fuck..” he curses under his breath, burying his head into his hands as he tries to ignore the hot flush rising on his cheeks, travelling up his neck and burning the tips of his ears. “I think I'm in love...” 

Toshiko’s eyes go wide at this proposition. Clearly she wasn't expecting such an open confession, especially from someone like Damon who happened to be so restrictive with his feelings. But he couldn’t deny it anymore, not unless he wanted to drive himself anymore insane than he was, that was. 

“I realised when I went to that Christmas market with him, actually,” he confesses quietly, refusing to look up and meet the younger girl's eyes–not ready to meet her teasing face just yet.

“I’m not sure why but when I was taking him back to our dorm something just clicked within me and I concluded that what I was feeling was obviously not platonic,” the words are coming out before he can realise, and although he’s not sure why he’s telling Toshiko he immediately feels lighter getting those words of his chest. 

Toshiko gasps softly. It was clear she was still struggling to process his words, after all it wasn’t every day that someone like Damon willingly opened up, allowed himself to be vulnerable and discussed his feelings with others. Yet despite her shock she didn’t pry away from teasing him, small giggles escaping her lips as she shakes her head slowly. 

“Ah, I knew you were in love with him, Mochi,” she says teasingly, and once again if he could see her expression he’s sure she’d look as smug as ever. It was clear she was enjoying this very much, as if his love life crisis was a rom-com drama and she had first row seats. “I’m grateful you were able to overcome your denseness and admit these feelings once and for all,” she snickers.

Damon shoots her an irritated glance but does nothing to deny her claims. Admitting he has feelings for his roommate is hard enough as it is, he’s not about to let Toshiko have the further pleasure of him admitting she was right all along about his love-stuck crush. 

Damon sighs loudly, removing his hands from his face to lean back in his chair as he closes his eyes. “I seriously have no idea what I'm supposed to do with these feelings, though,” he admits dryly, blinking and staring up at the ceiling. “I’ve never felt this way about someone before,” he admits. It’s embarrassing, maybe, but true. 

Never had he fallen in love before, not even in high-school by which a large majority of his classmates had already been in at least one relationship. Instead he was much more focused on furthering his skills within the debating medium, earning his Ultimate title and wearing it with a certain pride that left him isolated from others and in no position to fall in love. 

So when Kai comes into his life he finds himself at a halt; unsure what to do with these newfound feelings and how to approach them. Perhaps he’s finally starting to see the benefit behind Toshiko’s talent. Although he believes she’s far too young to be a matchmaker it might just be a testament to how behind in life he is if a fourteen year old girl is giving him relationship advice. 

“You’ve got time, Mochi,” Toshiko assures him and this time instead of teasing him this time her voice is gentle, soft and patient. “It would be unwise to rush into a relationship without understanding your own feelings first,” she advises him. 

It’s true. Given how often Damon’s words lead to misunderstandings amongst his classmates and just how fragile of a person his roommate could be, one slip up could lead to the destruction of their friendship; failure to get his feelings across truthfully could lead to a breakdown, and he could say goodbye to the idea of Kai ever returning his feelings. 

Damon nods. “You’re right,” he agrees quietly, eyes focused on the desk in front of him. It’s the mention of time that has him frowning again as he’s reminded of just how little they had left of the term until Christmas break. Once again he’s left with that longing feeling, that unshakable ache that comes with the thought of not seeing Kai for two weeks. 

Damon’s thankful his parents aren’t here right now. If they were, they'd certainly be teasing their son for how pathetic he was acting in regards to his ‘first love.’ 

“Something on your mind?” Toshiko asks. It’s no surprise that she was able to pick up on the shift in his behaviour; she wasn’t called the Ultimate Matchmaker for nothing, after all.

Damon pauses, considering whether it was the right choice to open up to the girl in front of him. It could be dangerous, all things considered. Toshiko was quite partial to gossip, unsurprising for a teenage girl like her. 

Fuck it. He’s already opened up this much already. 

“I’m not going to see Kai over the Christmas break,” he mumbles quietly, desperately trying to ignore the empty feeling in his chest and the warmth on his cheeks. It was so embarrassing admitting you were in love with someone and even more so confessing that you were going to miss them over break like a lovesick puppy. 

It’s as clear as day that Toshiko is stifling her laughter. “Aha, that’s so sweet, Mochi!” she teases, fanning herself gently as she continues to tease his rather pathetic behaviour. “It’s only two mere weeks but I suppose when you’re in love it can feel like a century; being separated from your other half whom you long for–ah, it’s such a terrible thought!” she describes dramatically, shaking her head in discomfort. 

“Shut up!” Damon growls. If he wasn’t blushing already he absolutely was now, cheeks burning unforgivingly, not letting him hide just how flustered he was. “I don’t even know what he’s doing over the break,” he drawls, a frown on his face. 

It wasn’t very often that Kai opened up about his family life with him, no matter how close they seemed to be it was evident that the topic was a sensitive one. Naturally, Damon wasn’t one to push for information that someone didn’t want to share, especially when it really was none of his business. But he couldn’t deny his curiosity. It has him thinking back to their trip to the Christmas market a few days ago where Kai had briefly mentioned his family. 

 “My family never took me out to places like this so I don’t know much about it..” 

Toshiko hums quietly. “I do believe I recall overhearing Kai discussing his plans with Diana at the beginning of our class,” she recalls softly, eyebrows furrowed slightly. 

Eavesdropper much?

Damon raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “Is that so?” There's a pang of jealousy knowing that his roommate consulted Diana first before him but he decides to ignore it before the feeling grows any stronger.

Toshiko giggles. “I assume you want to know more?” she teases, practically dangling the information over his head.

Damon sighs loudly, dragging a hand down his face. “Just tell me already,” 

Toshiko coughs quietly. “As you wish, Mochi,” she smiles, fanning herself once again. “I overheard him complaining to the cosmetologist about not wanting to visit his parents,” she explains, humming curiously. “It seems he does not get along with them very well at all,” she sighs, shaking her head in disdain.

Kai didn’t get along well with his parents?

Damon could have guessed that his relationship with his parents were at least somewhat strained if the lack of information he was willing to give to him was anything to go by. Anything he did know about them didn’t necessarily paint them in the best light; from the fact that they never took their son to a single Christmas market as a child to their apparent disapproval of his talent. 

Toshiko nods. “Unsupportive parents during the festive season if I had to make a guess, I suppose that would make for a rather miserable time” she observes, tapping her foot gently on the floor. “I do believe I heard him wishing to stay in the dormitories instead over the break–truly he must have a strained relationship for a wish like that!” 

Damon frowns. Toshiko was right in saying that their relationship must be so poor for him to want to stay in the dormitories, even over Christmas where he’d be alone; everyone else having returned to their families where they could be accepted with open arms, much like himself. 

It angered him knowing that his roommate had such unsupportive parents and a voice in the back of his head tells him that if he’s to ever see them he should give them a piece of his mind.

It makes sense, though, as to why Kai was so fragile, so jittery and defensive about his career choice. If being at home meant walking on eggshells, constantly having to defend your passion to people who clearly lacked critical thinking skills–well it was completely understandable for him to be so protective over his identity. 

Although Damon couldn’t act like the perfect friend. At first he too judged his roommate for his talent, completely blindsighted by his own arrogance and pride which he still very much retained to a degree, he was unable to appreciate the intricacies of the Ultimate Influencer. It’s safe to say Kai very much did influence his viewpoint on different talents to his own, ironically enough. 

Toshiko’s eyes suddenly light up and that mischievous glint has returned as he snickers quietly to herself. “I do believe he actually mentioned you once again if I recall correctly,” she taunts, giving him a look that just said trouble.

Damon can’t hide the way his heart flutters at this and he immediately turns to look in Toshiko's direction, silently asking her to continue. He would not be giving her the pleasure of admitting he wanted to know what he had to say about him today, thank you very much.

Toshiko giggles. “I believe he mentioned that although you can be rather stubborn and rather strict at times, a statement that I cannot refute, he believes you to be much better company than his parents,” she relays what she overheard easily, fluidly, as if next to her the Ultimate Debater wasn’t wide eyed and quite frankly star struck. 

Toshiko pauses, looking over at Damon.

“Continue,” he says sternly.

“Apparently he views you as kinder, far more compassionate than both his parents combined, a considerate man despite all your flaws and that he considers you to be a real friend,” she concludes, and there’s this sort of excitement in her eyes, she’s practically sparkling as she recounts what she had the pleasure of hearing.

To say Damon’s shocked would be an understatement.

There’s this overwhelming feeling of irritation growing within him, bubbling up like a pot of boiling water threatening to spill. It’s the knowledge that someone as warm, high-spirited and cheerful as Kai could be miserable over the Christmas period that unsettled him. It felt wrong, so uncharacteristic that the thought alone made him feel uncomfortable.

Especially after seeing him getting so excited at their ‘not date’, eyes gleaming like a child as he gripped his hand tightly, pulling him through the sea of people without a care in the world. It was the happiest he’s ever seen the other man; watching as he pointed out cute little ornaments for Christmas trees they didn’t have, pointing at things he thinks their friends would like all whilst teasing what he was planning on buying Damon for Christmas. 

Don’t even get him started on the crepe incident. 

It's then that Damon's hit with an idea. It's possibly the most incomprehensible idea he's ever had; the one that only someone who has fallen in love with their roommate can come up with. 

A month or so ago when Damon was on the phone with his parents the topic of his plans for Christmas break were raised. It made sense, now that he was an adult he may have plans to stay with someone else, perhaps go on a trip of his own. Of course that was not the case for Damon. It was an appreciated thought but his parents had far too much faith in their antisocial son even now.

But his parents had suggested something that at the time seemed completely laughable, out of the question. 

“How about you invite one of your friends over for Christmas? You never know who's in need of company during this festive season and we'd be more than welcome to host!” 

That's what his mother had said, with full sincerity in her voice and although they were talking over voice call Damon could practically hear her smile across the line. Inviting a friend over for Christmas break for the two week period that he'd be stuck in his house with his parents; she was suggesting that he invite a friend over. 

Yeah, absolutely not. 

Is what he would have said. Is what he said before finding out that Kai didn't want to spend Christmas with his family. But things were different now; with the new information that his roommate would rather spend his break in the dormitories–with him instead of the people he called his family, well it was only understandable that he wanted to make that a reality.

Seriously, when did he start acting so pathetic over another man?

“Kai doesn’t need to stay with his parents over Christmas,” he blurts out without realising. The adrenaline coursing within him was running far too high, causing him to say things without much logical comprehension of the reality behind what he was saying. Whether it was possible simply didn’t matter at this moment. 

“Whatever do you mean?” Toshiko asks curiously, cocking her head to the side. It’s then that her eyes widen and she lets out a small gasp before giggling to herself quietly, clearly amused. “Ah, I see what you’re suggesting, Mochi!” she snickers, her eyes narrowing.

Damon scoffs. “It’s a mere possibility that he might want to stay with me–I don’t know if he’ll actually agree,” he mutters, suddenly feeling rather self-conscious of his spur of a moment idea. It was only three weeks until their term ended after all, such short notice would cause for a major inconvenience on not only Kai’s behalf but perhaps his parents as well. 

Toshiko splutters at this comment. Damon raises an eyebrow. 

“What?"

“You seriously believe that there is a possibility your one true love will deny the chance of spending such a romantic holiday with you?” she asks, genuine curiosity in her voice, a rather surprised, almost judgemental expression on her face.

“You never know what's going to happen,” Damon answers honestly. It's the truth, if Kai’s plans are already solidified there's no changing it, no matter how much they both want it. 

Although he supposes that it’s less Kai rejecting him and more being forced to due to circumstances against his will. 

“I mean not to insult you but you’d be completely insane to believe he would do anything but agree to your proposal!” she exclaims loudly, tutting to herself. 

Damon frowns. “Are you really so sure he’d agree?” he asks, not fully convinced by her words. As much as he wanted to, he had to be prepared for the possibility of rejection, whether he liked it or not.

Toshiko nods triumphantly, never having looked so confident before. “I absolutely am, Mochi!” she reiterates, fanning herself once again. “Ah, but if you are planning on inviting him you should better do it soon for time is limited and before you know it he will be out of your grasp!” 

Damon grimaces. “You make it sound like he’s going to die if I don’t ask in time,” he sighs, finally deciding to get up from his chair. As helpful as this conversation had been he can’t deny he had places to be; studies to indulge himself in and questions to mull over. 

Would Kai really want to spend the two week Christmas break with him and his family?

Spending two weeks with his family whom he had never met; how exactly would that play out? Damon is rather confident that his parents would accept his roommate with open arms, they had always been warm, gentle people willing to offer help to those more vulnerable than them without a second thought. It wouldn’t be farfetched at all if come Christmas day he finds out his parents had gone on an impromptu splurge on his roommate, purchasing presents for him that Kai’s own parents otherwise should. 

But that didn’t answer how Kai would react to the proposal. How exactly would he cope being in an unfamiliar place with traditions he wasn’t accustomed to, a confined house with no way to escape. It was a troubling thought. He wanted nothing more for the experience to be comfortable, better than that of whatever he’d have to endure with his parents. 

But he was jumping ahead of himself.

“Uh, thank you for your advice, Toshiko,” he mutters begrudgingly, coughing into his arm to hide his embarrassment at finding a fourteen year old’s relationship advice helpful. It was humiliating, really, seeking advice on such a matter as it is, but to find it in a literal child was something Damon would be taking to the grave. 

Toshiko snickers. “Oh it’s nothing, Mochi!” she hums pleasantly as she saunters over to the door. “Ah, but do thank me when you do eventually happen to court your lover, please?” she asks innocently before leaving the room, the door shutting behind her with a quiet click.

Damon curses under his breath. “Seriously?”