Chapter Text
A swerving truck. There was a swerving truck somewhere in the Hidari Wakibara suburbs of the unnamed Japanese city our series takes place in. The poor truck driver tries to take control but it's almost like the steering wheel rejected him.
On the road, a kid was playing with a soccer ball, the sport equipment rolling to the middle of the road where in 23 seconds, the poor boy will collide with the truck just 11 seconds after picking up his ball. Due to that 11 second delay, he wouldn't have time to move.
He wouldn't have time to move if it weren't for the truck swerving and crashing into a wall. The driver remained unscathed due to airbag which cushioned his impact against the steering wheel. But the truck, its bonnet was damaged, dented like a bear crashed right into it. The boy, gets to live another day. Because without that boy, he wouldn't call out for help so the driver could be taken to the hospital where he will make a swift recovery.
"I bet you thought that was a miracle, well I hate to say, you're totally wrong." Standing across from the road was a girl with distinct purple hair, a mixture of her parent's hair. She was wearing green sunglasses, a distinct female PK academy uniform and a distinct heavenly glow emulating from her body. "The reason behind this random act of sheer luck was caused by little old me. My name is Kanako Saiki and I am a psychic."
As she walks to her location, she continues to narrate to the readers. "And since you read the premise, you know that I am the daughter of Kusuo Saiki; The star of the hit manga/Anime comedy series The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. You know, the one series where he complains about being psychic and the world around him. And with good reason, most people in that series were unbearable. But he also did get into wacky adventures. Like that trip to Okinawa, trying to get his limiters in London, his constant battles with Uncle Kusuke and that time he was on an abandoned island with his classmates far off course from Japan and had to bring the island to a close vicinity."
"But I hope you remembered that, because there are a lot of adventures and stories that occurred in my father's life. As mentioned, I am a psychic, I have been since the day I was born. At four days old, I formed my first thought. Me and Dad would often engage in psychic conversations, usually about how our days have been."
She takes the readers into a flashback when four day old Kanako was in her crib with her father watching over her, engaging in a psychic conversation.
"How was your day Kanako?"
"Today Mom tried to sing a lullaby. Good grief, she is so tone deaf."
"Tell me about it."
She flashes back to when she began walking while her mother encouraged her. "At four months old…I took my first steps…On water."
One day, Kokomi Saiki was inspecting the pantry for supplies. "Oh dear, I forgot a fresh batch of bread."
"At 10 months old, I ran my first errand."
The baby psychic vanished into thin air, much to the worry and bewilderment of her own mother. However, she returned with the bread and the receipt and coffee jelly. "Oh good girl!" Kokomi applauds her daughter. "Did you get that coffee jelly for Daddy?"
"No." The baby eats the coffee jelly.
"Also at ten months old, I said my first word and purchased my first coffee jelly for myself. Just in case you doubt whether I am or am not the daughter of Kusuo Saiki."
"Oh, I should have mentioned that Mom knows that Dad and I are psychics, more on that in the next chapter but spoiler alert…She was in disbelief. Alright, let's get this out of the way, I have inherited my Dad's powers. Although compared to my Dad, my powers aren't as strong as his. Hence why I don't need inhibitors like Dad. As for abilities my Dad has, I can hear people's thoughts except for certain people, I can summon items worth equal value, I can teleport, I can turn invisible, I can fly, I can break the fourth wall, I can change into different genders, I can alter people's memories, I can bend spoons with my mind, I can set things on fire, I can communicate with animals, I can walk on water, I can alter my size, I can do all the things my father can do listed on his Wiki."
"I bet you're wondering if I hate my powers. I was born with them and I will die with them. My Dad treated his powers like a hefty burden and spent most of his adventures trying to live an ordinary life until he achieved it. But then, the series continued for a few more chapters and he got his powers back to save Japan from a meteorite."
"To your surprise, I actually like my powers. I don't treat them like a burden. I treat it as if it were something like autism or ADHD, it was something I was born with and it's something I need to find a way to coexist with. However, there is one thing about me that is a burden…"
"LOOK! IT'S SAIKI!"
"WHERE!"
"SHE IS LOOKING RADIANT TODAY!"
"SHE IS SO PERFECT!"
"SHE DRESSES SO MODEST AND SO PLAIN YET SHE PULLS IT OFF!"
"HOW DOES SHE DO IT?!"
"DO YOU WANNA GO ON A DATE!"
A gaggle of male students appear in front of Kanako with love hearts practically floating above their heads, love hearts in their eyes, saliva dripping from their mouths and nose bleeds all around.
"YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS!"
"That burden is being born with my mother's radiant beauty! I don't even try to dress beautiful or modest, yet these perverts always end up in my line of vision!"
"DO YOU LIKE SASHIMI?!"
"HOW ABOUT CHOCOLATE?!"
"CAN I CARRY YOUR UMBRELLA?!"
Kanako continued walking, ignoring the noises of the annoying men. "My mother had this radiant beauty when I was her age and would use it to brighten people's days while rejecting their advances. Hell, she even had a creepy fanbase. A FANBASE! Even my uncle Makoto couldn't resist it and got committed because of it. Good grief, if he gets out I hope he doesn't become attracted to me."
"SHOW ME YOUR PRETTY FACE!"
"No matter what I do, these losers seem attracted to me. If I come in smelling bad, they still go crazy thinking this is a statement. If I come to school dressed in a potato sack, they will still go crazy and say I could wear nothing and make it work. Or if I do something disgusting like picking my nose and belly button at the same time, they will still become attracted to me thinking this is a beautiful way of expressing myself. It's like I cannot be unattractive to them. Hell, I might commit murder and still be considered attractive."
She reaches a crosswalk with her umbrella in hand and a bunch of weird single males following her.
"HEY SAIKI!"
"WILL YOU GO FOR A STROLL WITH ME?!"
"WILL YOU GO FOR A RAMEN DATE?!"
"WILL I BECOME A CHARACTER IN THIS STORY?!"
"Good grief, best I make a dramatic departure." She looks to her right and sees a truck coming towards them at a high speed. She looks down and sees a large puddle. Big enough to make a huge splash. "Okay fellas…" She opens her umbrella. "….I hope this doesn't sour your mood. Actually, I don't care."
The truck drives past, causing it to hit the puddle. The remnants of natural water that fell from the sky make a huge splash on the young men, causing their clothes to be soaked and their clothes to be dirty and Kanako was gone.
"HEY IS KANAKO OKAY?"
"WHERE IS SHE?!"
"IS SHE DIRTY?!"
"OH I HOPE SHE ISN'T SCARED OF EMBARRASSMENT!"
High above the unnamed city, Kanako was hovering above the city with her umbrella in hand and over her head, looking like an English Nanny coming from the sky to help a family in early 20th century England.
"So, now you know about me."