Work Text:
HOST.
He started his day like any other.
He got a coffee at the Castle Town Cafe, extra espresso with more cream and sugar, and took a walk to the studio. He’d greet anyone who told him good morning. He’d ask for updates on projects. Then, he’d pull himself into his office, and work on a script.
It’d been harder to work on scripts, lately. It was like there was a roadblock in his head, like there was some form of pulley or gear that caught fire and dislodged. He just found himself feeling endlessly exhausted.
All he felt was exhausted, lately.
Distantly, his shoulders throbbed with a pain he’d grown familiar with. Distantly, something raised its voice. So, of course, he turned away from it. He drowned it out, and stared at the paper.
“Hey, Boss!” Mike's voice spoke up from the door, and in came the round smiling body holding a stack of papers. “Great t’see you here today!”
“I’m here every day,” Tenna huffed out a small laugh, taking a sip of his coffee. Mike set the papers down on the table.
“…Sure, Boss.”
As he often did with Mike, Tenna felt weird about that response. But… Mike was weird. From the start, Mike was weird. He’d only gotten himself a body after Spamton left, and from then on, he acted so… Different. Inconsistent.
Not like Tenna was any better. He even had the same gaps in his memory Mike tended to have.
“Anyways!” Mike continued. “I wanted to go over the meeting you scheduled yesterday- the notes and all. Are we really ordering gold bodypaint again…?”
Case in point. Tenna’s screen flickered.
“Hah. What’re you talking about?” He furrowed his brows, setting his coffee down. “I don’t remember anything about a meeting. Or gold paint.”
Mike was quiet for a few moments, tapping his finger against the desk.
“I’ll ask again later.” He said. “Anyways, I was thinkin’, later tonight-“
“I have a date.” Tenna went back to his script.
“…With your ex?”
He looked up from the paper in front of him, and felt a small fire in his gut. The voice from before spoke up again, understandable this time.
How could he say that!? He hates me! I know he hates me! He wants me DEAD!
Swallowing a burning feeling, waiting for it to sizzle out, he took a deep breath.
“You’re dismissed, Mike.”
“Wh- Come on!” Mike argued, gesturing. “I- Tenna, the guy is-“
“Thank you for coming by!” Tenna shoved on a grin. “But really, you are dismissed!”
Mike stood there, silent, fists trembling by his side, before he stormed out. The door slammed behind him, and Tenna felt his stomach lurch.
He hates me. He's going to kill me.
Once again, he quieted the voice down, and with trembling hands, tried to get back to the script.
He wished writing was easier with numb hands.
…
CUPID.
“Spammy~!!!” He felt his voice reach a cooed pitch as he rushed up to the puppet. “Hiiii!!!”
Looking up, the puppet jolted a bit.
“WHAT THE [truck] ARE YOU [where]ING!?”
“Hm? Oh! Do you liiike it?” Tenna lit up a little, giving a little twirl. He was dressed up in a red, shimmering leotard, tall socks, red ruby shoes, and a little bowtie to top it off. “It’s an old piece I have from- well… I dunno how long ago, haha! But it’s cuuute!”
He stared at the puppet for his reaction, smiling seeing his face was bright red. So, he kneeled down, wrapping his wire tail around his partners leg.
“Dontcha think so…?”
“YOUr. GONNA GO OUT [like that]?” He said, looking away. “NOT… USUALLY [your style!]…”
“I figured I should live a little!” Tenna giggled. “Give my Spammy some eye candy to chew on…!”
Spamton’s permanent grin stretched even wider, before he finally looked at him again, flustered.
“SURE IS A [treats].”
His heart swelled, and that was all he needed to hear to feel whole.
…
“Why did you let me wear that out.”
“IT [wash] FINE! [Cathode], NObody CARED!”
“People SAW!”
Mortification surrounded him the next morning. His face burned as he covered it, rolling over in bed.
Maybe I should kill myself. I’ll go to hell like I deserve.
He… He wasn’t young enough to look like that anymore. He was old, he was scarred and raggedy, he was outdated- no one wanted to see that! God, he could just-
…No.
No, he was perfect.
He was perfect, everyone loved him, and he could never do anything wrong in his life.
…
GOLD.
“Good morning my lovely employees!” Tenna marched on inside the studio, dunking back his iced coffee. It hurt against his hand, but of course, he ignored that. Because nothing ever was wrong in Mr. Ant Tenna’s life!
“Boss!” Mike yelped, struggling with a pen he’d been holding, and rushing over. “I didn’t know you were comin’ in today!”
“Of course I was!” Tenna chirped. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, it’s just- I figured after last night you’d-“
“Mike, no need to thank me for a peek of something most never get.” Tenna chuckled, then, to the side, he added “Though, don’t expect it again any time soon! It’s a rare treat for a reason!”
“Uh- g-got it. So-“
“Oh! How’s the gold paint order going? Is it on its way?” Tenna turned to look down at Mile, who fumbled with his pen again.
“Well- You- it’s just, y’told me you didn’t remember-“
“Mike, really!” Tenna chuckled again. “I know what I’m asking for! Now, get that order through and get me a second coffee if you can! I have a lot to get done!”
He started marching towards his office.
“Ah- boss- you also said that script writing is-“
“I’ve got it handled, Mike~!”
“But your ar-“
With that, he closed the door behind him.
He had some amazing work to do.
…
CLEAVED.
Hurts.
Hurts, hurts, hurts.
It hurts.
Everything hurts.
His breaths came from him in desperate puffs, gripping his arms and staring at the floor. His back was pressed against something- he was under his desk, maybe. Something told him he was under his desk.
But that couldn’t be true. He was hiding. He had to hide from the shadows.
He was going to die.
He was going to be murdered, and die slowly.
Oh god.
Oh god!
Another shaky breath, a whimper, a gasp. Something wet fell in front of him on the floor. Was it blood? Or snow? He was so cold.
The sound of a knock almost gave away his location- he bit his tongue so he didn’t yelp.
“…Boss?” He heard a muffled voice. He didn’t know who that was. “…Boss! Are y’still in there? It’s- uh, I haven’t… Seen ya in a few hours, I thought I’d check on ya…”
No no no no no no no.
The door opened. He covered his mouth.
“Boss?”
Away get away get away GET AWAY.
He could bite him, right? He didn’t have his arms- he didn’t have his claws, but he could bite! That’d help! That’d-
“Boss-“
The beast showed its face, peering into his hiding place, and he screamed.
…
DOCTOR.
Symptoms: his hands were numb, his chest was tight, he was trembling, his heart was pounding, and he only just started piecing together he was in his dressing room.
Note: not his, per se, it’ll never be the same again, but that’s semantics, isn’t it? The fact that it’s smaller now is adding nausea to the list.
If he had to guess, he had a panic attack over his arms, freaked out, and was dragged in here by Mike.
It was blurry. But it was far from the first time he’d ever worked with that.
The door opened. He felt a ghost inside him flinch, but he did not. Slowly, he turned to gaze upon his lovely viewer.
“Hello, Mike.” He greeted. Mike seemed to release some tension from his body at that, and he closed the door behind him.
“You, uh, calmer now?” He said. Tenna nodded.
“Yes! Fine and dandy, chum. Now, if I may ask, as you can imagine I’m a little confused…” He put two pointer fingers together, from his mouth to pointing at his engineer. “What seems to be the problem?”
Mike was quiet for a few moments.
“Ehh… You… Overworked your hands, or somethin’. I saw a buncha script papers all torn and scribbly- y’know how your handwriting's been.”
“I do.” Tenna nodded calmly.
“And, uh, y’had a freakout. You got all small at some point so I… Dragged ya in here. Gave you some space to breathe.”
“That makes sense.” Tenna replied. “…I suppose you’d like to do some repairs.”
“Justa bit- y’know how uh, slow. Th’healings been. But I wanna make sure y’didn’t bump anythin’ loose, y’know?”
“Makes total sense, Michael my friend.”
“…Okay.” Mike walked over. “Well, y’at least seem ready- haha, y’doin the Tennaville bit to calm yourself with repairs again?”
“As always.” Tenna nodded. “Filling out the character helps me feel better, of course!”
“Heh. Figured.” His engineer replied. “Alright, y’know the drill.”
…
DEVIL.
He dug his claws into his skin.
What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me what’s wrong with me what’s wrong with me?
He paced around, not staring at anything in particular. His fangs dug into his mouth. His fur bristled like a sea urchin. He paced and paced and paced and paced.
He hated himself.
God. God, he hated himself.
He was destined to rot in hell, but he would take everyone down with him.
Something- he needed something. He- where were they? In his pocket? No- no, where’d he keep his emergency supply?
He beelined from his pacing to his desk, looking through every single drawer. A snarl rose in his chest. Frustration. Hatred. He hated this desk. He hated this building. He hated everyone. He hated himself. The only escape was-
“H’alright,” Mike walked back in, shaking his hand out. “Checked under th’glove, you didn’t break any skin.”
Tenna looked up at him. Mike stared.
“…I could do without the biting, y’know.”
I was protecting myself.
You were going to hurt me.
You want me dead. You want me dead I know you want me dead. Everyone wants me dead especially me but I always back out I don’t know why I don’t want to back out I’m tired of backing out I-
He could feel Mike staring.
“The Tennaville bit don’t work no more, huh?”
Tenna paused, swallowing.
If he grew big enough, he could fit Mikes head into his mouth, and snap his jaws down as hard as he could. He wondered if it’d pop like a grape.
He was going to hell.
“Where-“ He choked a little. “Where are my cigars?”
“…Uh.” Mike shuffled a bit. “You threw ‘em away, remember?”
His stomach dropped.
“Wh- y-“ He stammered. He barred his fangs indignantly. “No I didn’t!”
“Yes you did!” Mike shouted back. “You did! And you YELLED at me about it! And- what- lemme guess! Y’don’t remember!? Y’dont remember demanding to know why they were in your desk!? And blaming me for it!?”
“THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE IN-“
“MAKE A CHOICE AND STICK WITH IT!” Mike screamed. “MR. OH I DON’T REMEMBERR! What’s wrong with you!? Huh!?”
Tenna flinched back. His fur remained bristled. His claws remained out.
“You don’t remember things either…” he growled. Mike sputtered for a few moments, taken aback. He seemed to process that, and grinned harder.
“AT LEAST I CAN FUNCTION LIKE AN ADULT!” He spat.
Like a gunshot through the chest. Like a bullet striking into a puddle of gasoline. Fire raged.
“GET OUT!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. He reached up, grabbing his antennas and yanking. The broken one sent a massive spike of pain. “GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HATE YOU!”
Mike stepped back.
“You don’t mean that.” He rasped. “You’re just being dramatic. See? This is what I mean. Y’can’t even control yourself.”
“SHUT UP!!!” He couldn’t breathe. He wanted to hurt him so bad. He didn’t want to. He wrapped his arms around himself so he didn’t. “SHUT UP! GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“You act like a child! Do you even have memory issues? Or is that an excuse!?”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
His claws punctured into his arms. He couldn’t breathe.
“No! Because you apparently can’t LISTEN!” Mike stepped closer, and Tenna took a few steps back. His shoulders collided with the wall behind him. A wave of nausea-inducing pain shot through him, and he let out gasps and pants.
“You think I like taking care of you!?” Mike shouted. “GUESS WHAT! I DON’T!”
“THEN LEAVE!” Tenna wailed. He stumbled to the ground, curling up. “HHhhhk- leave me-“
“I CAN’T!” Mike stepped closer. Tenna couldn’t curl up any further. “BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOMACH BEING AROUND YOU!”
He choked down ragged gulps of air. The world was spinning. He needed out.
“Ssstop-“
“NOT UNTIL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR-“
The door clicked open. Mike looked behind him.
Tenna covered his face.
He didn’t hear any talking. He heard Mike shuffle a bit, and he heard him clear his throat.
“…Fine. Get what you want.” He growled. “Hope you like being alone.”
Mike's footsteps faded, and the door closed.
His lungs stuttered, and he let out a wail.
…
He hurt to punish himself.
I don’t wanna be alone.
He hurt to feel closer to hell.
I want Mike- I want my Mama-
He hurt because he deserved it.
It hurts- I don’t wanna hurt-
…
LITTLE.
He was hiccuping.
He was hiccuping and sobbing and he wanted to be hugged.
He wanted to be hugged and picked up and told he’d be okay and that he was good and he was loved and-
And-
And-
Another weak, tiny wail escaped his chest. He barely knew where he was. He was on the floor, it was the big room, right? Nooo but it was different than normal- it was different he didn’t like different. Why was his big room different? Where was his bed! He liked his bed and now it was gone!! It was just that giant spinny chair and his table!!
Everything hurt.
Everything really really hurt.
Another hiccup escaped him, scrubbing at his face with his paws. He was in the stiff clothes again… He hated the stiff clothes! They weren’t comfy! At least the coat wasn’t on him, but the really annoying and tight pants were and so were the shoes and that shirt with all the buttons on it!! The buttons were so hard to do! And his shirt had tears all over it right now! And it hurt!
He curled up, whimpering and rubbing at his screen more. He didn’t know how to make it stop. He didn’t know when someone would come tell him it’s okay.
No one would ever tell him it’s okay.
No one will ever love him again.
The door creaked open. He sniffled, looking over.
“Hey, uh… Boss?” A familiar voice spoke. One that scared him a lot, but one that made him feel safe, too. The large round man walked in, fiddling with his gloved hands in a silly way. “Uh. I… I’ve calmed down- I wanted t’say-“
He stopped once he looked at Tenna. Tenna hiccuped a little again.
“…shiii- uh,” He cleared his throat. He walked a little closer. “…Hey, buddy. Are you…?”
Tenna started to brace himself a little. Mike just yelled at him a lot, didn’t he? He did, he remembered it! Oh, oh no, Mike hated him! A sob choked out of him, and he let out a whimper.
“Ah- hey- heyyyheyhey- it- it’s okay,” Mike got closer. Something told him to run away and hide, but there was no bed in the room anymore, and he missed Mike. And Mike wasn’t yelling anymore. He was talking in that soft voice he liked. “You’re alright, uh- can you speak…?”
He shook his head. Mike grimaced, and held his arms out.
“It- that's alright. C’mere, lil guy. C’mere.”
Another whimper escaped him, and he pushed himself up, before running over and barreling into Mike’s arms. He shoved his screen against his chest, heaving out a few sobs, and big gloved hands enveloped him, rubbing his back and shooshing him.
“C’mon, uh… I can…” He cleared his throat, and he felt a hand leave him, the tiny sound of a click. “I can set up a little nice space for you in the Mike room? With some crayons, y’like crayons, right?”
He sniffled, nodding. Both hands were on him again.
“Alright.” Suddenly, they grasped onto him, and he flinched, but he let himself be picked up into Mike’s arms, resting his head against his shoulder and putting his paw against his mouth. “Let’s go, then.”
The hallway was brighter than the fake big room. He whimpered a bit, and felt two big fingers grab his paw from his mouth, a tiny hiss between Mike’s teeth.
“Ah, jeeze. Y’scratch yourself up again, Boss?”
Tenna nodded. He sniffled a bit, and a hand pat at him.
“That… That’s okay. We can play doctor,”
“Mmmmn-“ Tenna protested as best he could, shaking his head.
“Whaaat? You like playing doctor!”
He didn’t wanna do anymore doctor today.
“Just a lil, okay? No, uh, guts involved. Just green sparkles and bandaids, you like those still, right?”
He thought for a moment, and nodded.
“Well thank god for that!” Mike said. Tenna giggled a bit, muffled against his chest.
Eventually, he was set down, and he perked up as he noticed his soft blanket. Immediately, he pawed at it, feeling a single claw get stuck for a second before he waved it off him. Mike looked down at him.
“…Okay, let’s see. It’s been a minute.” He scratched at his head. “…Right. Let’s get that shirt off of you.”
Tenna whined, scooting away from him. He didn’t like how Mike did it- he was always too rough.
“Hey, c’mon!” Mike sighed. “Work with me, kid. You hate that shirt, anyways. It’s got blood all over it, that can’t be comfortable.
“Pluey!” Tenna managed to say, gesturing his hands frustratedly. Mike flinched, and as an angry expression melted onto his face, Tenna whimpered.
“Seriously? Y’want- ugh. Y’know what? Fine. I’ll go get Pluey for ya.”
Excitement lit up in Tenna’s chest, his tail starting to wag. Mike walked away, and Tenna kneaded the blanket under him over and over, focusing on the warm, soft texture on one of the squares, and the cold soft texture on the other. It was weird that it felt different. He liked it.
There was the trill of a saxophone, and he looked up, letting out an excited squeak at the sight of Mike- now all cute and Pluey!
Pluey sat on the ground in front of him, purring loudly, gently bumping his head against Tennas, who giggled and pushed into it, tail wagging. He mimicked the purr, rumbling in his chest and shoving himself against the fluffy fur, and gentle paws pet at the top of his head. An excited squeal forced its way out of his throat.
Then, Pluey backed up, and gestured towards the buttons on the front of his shirt, tilting his head with a little saxophone trill. Tenna thought, and then nodded, and Pluey dove into unbuttoning his shirt. Tenna usually got bored during this part. There were so many buttons, and he had to stay still, but he’d get his pajamas on if he did this, and so he wanted to be good so it went by faster.
Gently, once the buttons were finished, Pluey pulled the sleeves off his ouchy arms and tugged the shirt off. There were small smears of static here or there throughout his white fur, and he frowned looking at it. He did that? Well, he kind of could remember it, but…
Before he knew it, his shoes and pants were off, and Pluey was pulling up softer PJ pants. They were much better than the tight ones! He hated the work clothes! He hated them! He loved Pluey! He leaned forward, hugging him, and Pluey purred and patted him before pulling him off and carefully putting his arms through his pajama tops sleeves. They weren’t his TV themed ones, sadly, but this one was short sleeved! With stars on them!. There were fewer buttons on this one- he looked down and watched how deftly Plueys paws worked with putting the buttons through the fabric, tail wagging. The cat finished it off with a little peck on the top of his head, and he beamed.
Pluey let out a little saxophone noise, and lifted Tenna's paws. Tenna grimaced. He didn’t want to play doctor… But…
Pluey tilted his head to the other side, waggling his fingers. Tenna giggled, and let him take them. He did flinch a little when the healing spells were casted, but he watched the green sparkles, tail wagging, and the pain ebbed until it was dull and tolerable.
Then, Pluey lifted up some papers in one paw and crayons in another, and Tenna lit up.
…
“Make sure he’s outta harm's way. He doesn’t got the same brains as an adult when he’s like this,”
“I [no]…”
“And make sure he gets something to eat- at least later at night- jus’… Keep him asleep for now-“
“I [No!]…”
There was a huff, and shuffling.
He didn’t pick up the rest of the words as the door closed, he just kept his screen off as he was carried elsewhere.
The smell of smoke and electricity and other familiar things made his heart feel all big. Limply, tiredly, he registered the scent of the Mailman, and felt safe.
…
MIKE.
He sat up in bed.
Seems like he’s hungry. Was his first thought.
He swallowed, noticing his mouth was dry, too, and stretched out his arms. The familiar sharp pain he was slowly learning to adjust to shot up through him and down his spine, and he turned the whimper building in his throat into a sigh. No need to make a big deal about a pain that wasn't his, after all.
There was a snore. He looked over, and the numbness in his chest melted at the sight of Spamton.
Ruined. Broken. Yet, he was still his Spamton.
Okay. He huffed. What can I remember from today? Looking over at the clock, it was around 4 AM. Waking up at this time would make sense for Tenna, his impersonators usually woke him up for shock therapy around this time back in TV world, so it’d make sense his body would still try to follow that pattern. Trying to focus was a little tough- he could tell yesterday must’ve been rough- he could feel it, even. The familiar sting and bite of claw marks were all along his arms.
He might’ve had another ego trip… Why would… Ah. Child locks. Right. Tenna had been acting… Weird, since he arrived in Castle Town without the child locks on- it reminded him of how he used to act sometimes before Asriel was born. Seeking validation through intimacy, showing himself off, just… Not being his prudish self. So, after, he must’ve felt bad, and had an ego trip. If his arms had any say in the follow up, he likely strained them while working and freaked out during maintenance again.
A flash of his impersonator's face appeared in his memory- screaming foul words at him.
He’d… Slacked. After Spamton left. He stopped showing up, he went dormant as a volcano would. The next time he woke up, a group had replaced him, bearing his name and trying to do his job. Poorly, at that. At first, he wanted to see where it’d go, and how long Tenna would take to realize. Maybe his heart was still sour from Spamton's parting, maybe he was simply curious. But it droned on and on, and it became clear just how dependent Tenna had become on these imposters while he wasn’t looking. That, if he found out, it would break him.
They could do his job, then. Not like he was around anymore, anyways.
It was clear to him now that they were hurting him. At least, the smallest one was. While lurking around Tenna’s head he’d found how fond he was of the cat, and the tall one wasn’t the best with words, but was kinder. Despite this, they were all still hurting him. They all didn’t know what they were doing at best, and at worst…
…He could tell the cruelty came from a place of care, but it still left scars on his mind. At least the shock therapy stopped.
Regardless, after the argument, it seemed like Tenna regressed again. That part was… mortifying. He wished Tenna would get a handle on that. Just because he could shrink, didn’t mean he got to act like a child… Even if he couldn’t help it. There had been a small handful of times where he’d shown up while Tenna was like that, and dragged him to bed, arguing the whole time. He could tell it wasn’t on purpose, that he didn’t like it, either. It it still was embarrassing for the both of them.
Not like he had a life outside of Tenna. He was born to take care of him, after all. The only thing he ever truly had for him to also enjoy, was Spamton.
As if alerted by his thoughts of him, he heard Spamton shuffle, and lift his head a little, doll eyes squinting up at him.
“TeNna…?”
Mike flicked his tail. He put on a soft smile.
“Hello, Spamton.”
The puppet stared for a few moments, before he let out a little sigh, corners of his permanent smile quirking up.
“…Mike.”
